Happy new year all, let's hope the mighty Shefford continue to rise up...

I'm changing my job on Jan 1st, should mean slightly less hours, and free up my Thursday nights, so I might need to start losing that belly I've grown!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!!!

Yeah it was good - although we didn't play in the end, as we turned up and there were some other people using the whole pitch so we didn't get on. Shame, but there you go.




























pssst! We did play really, but nobody seemed to be there so we played on the whole pitch when I'd only booked half of it and we didn't give anyone any money cos there was no one there to pay. So I'm just seeing what happens now...

It was good fun, Dave Frew was there and for the first half hour we couldn't score but once we got one we got a bucketful more - especially at the end when everyone was knackered or injured. For my part, it hurts just to walk, as it was my first exercise in about 5 weeks other than diving which is, being honest, not a sport you need to be particularly fit to enjoy, you just look better in a wetsuit.

Then we all met up during the Everton v Chelsea game in The Broadway and stayed there for the West Ham v Man Utd game (Bellamy wins the first scorer with Reo Coker and spends the rest of the night with his jeans weighed down by 23 £1 coins). Managed to survive Monday without too much of a hangover (helped by a boozy lunch).

Newbury was a bit quiet, but there was some discussion about where to go for the end of season do - I just can't remember what we came up with in the end...

Good night then lads? How was the Dome? Sorry I couldnt make it, had my work christmas do on the Sat night, and only got woken by Crabbeman calling me at ten to eleven on Sunday morning.

I'm old.

Old Fart

I ache.

Does that mean you'll be wearing a spangly leotard then Hilly? Cos that's one thing I really don't think I wanna see...

Numbers are good - I think we're at 14 people for Sunday at the moment, that's not including Sillsy and/or Frew so we'll wait and see.

Looks like I'll have to turn on the acrobatics and make you eat your words then Matty.......la la la!!!

I might have to go in the other set of sticks as I have a purple and green toe, and I'm not sure I'll be able to kick a ball with my right foot or not.

Although if Hilly is in the other goal, I should still score a couple from goal kicks with my left peg....

Cool - wasn't expecting you to be able to play at all so that's a bonus.

Yeah I'll be there mate but I'll have to go in goal as my knee's still not right.

Sunday 11am at The Dome. I assume you're not coming Hilly with your knee, but let me know if you fancy giving it a run out...

Numbers are looking good, only Ben and Browny can't make it so far and Ben's gonna join us in Newbury for some afternoon beers which is cool.

Crabbeman there's no training this Thursday anyway. No game for the next few weeks and a few players with Christmas parties and stuff.

So the French seem to be as interested in your comments as the English then Sillsy....interesting.

Eh? Um, I dont know, when is it again? Whats the plans?

Just returned from Marseille, where the Olympians beat Monaco 2-1, in one of the worst football matches I've ever seen. For some reason, they worship Cisse. I tried to tell them he was crap, but noone seemed too interested...

I wont be at training thursday i have got a christmas party. What are the numbers looking like for sunday?? i have invited Dave Frew are you coming silsy???

Well I didn't see it but by all accounts it was more a case of us not playing very well so we've got every chance of turning it around next time, just frustrating this time - moreso because you're exactly right, we've played 10 and won 9 of them but now we have to sit out over Christmas on the back of our only defeat. Just a question of timing.

What about you Beeny? How's things? Tempted to come back training at all? Dave The Screw has been running things recently and from what I hear it's bloody hard work and good for the soul...

One defeat thats all it was tho, and not a definative thrashing, You boys have more courage and spirit to dig that little bit deeper next time!!

Not us Beeny - we lost 3-1, but Newbs PO Reserves beat LMP 18-2 according to the results site. Puts our 8-2 in the shade a little bit, but you don't know how many players LMP had out or what happened.

But yes we went down to our first league defeat, just up to us to make sure we respond well to it. Gutted that we don't get the chance until some time in January, but someone's gonna get a right thumping.

Serious?????? 18 - 2??????

18-2 ????

Crushing loss yesterday, can't believe we pulled out another stinking performance against them, they must be the luckiest team in the div so far to have played us twice while we've been at our worst. Unless, that is, we bottled it this week.

Puts some pressure on for the rest of the season. You have to assume that they'll beat everyone we beat and, being harsh, you have to assume that they'll beat us again next time we play them (though we at least can do something about that). Which means we're under pressure to not drop points against anyone else, but with PO Res pulling out some big wins we'll just have to see. Long way to go yet.

They're sending Sir Richard Attenborough.

"Here, the Smurf, in his natural habitat. Notice the posturing, the displays of superiority, the sexual gesturing and the ingestion of ingested vegetable extract, and kebabs."

"The Smurf chooses it's mates based not on gender, but on availability. Basically, if it moves, it's a viable target. Some basic communication, a display of tattoos, and he's away."

"Coitus, rough and clumsy, is completed in seconds. Thus finished, the laptop computer is powered down and stored away for next time."

Can't see how this will help us tactically but it'll fit in nicely with some polar bears stuck on floating ice...

They probably won't come that close Smurf, they will most likely stand a few feet away and poke you with a stick....

No shrink is coming near me

There you go something had to come up sooner or later - I've just entered us into a BBC Sport competition as they're looking to follow a Sunday League club for the rest of the season, maybe sending along a top manager, player, psychologist, etc to help our performance!

How cool would that be?

It didn't mention anything about naked dancing or writing songs about Nemone...

Cool - that's how I have it too. Best thing is 17 points clear of Blue Ball having played 2 more. That means that if they beat us twice and win their games in hand (a possibility) they'll still be 5 points behind. However if that happens it does put pressure on to continue beating the top teams - haven't played PO Res yet and I have a feeling that just cos we beat their first team that'll just give them a bigger point to prove. Some big games to come.

Shefford 9 9 0 0 49 12 +37 27
Newbury Post Office Reserves 7 5 0 2 24 14 +10 15
Berkshire Arms 9 4 2 3 32 16 +16 14
Shalbourne 9 4 2 3 30 22 +8 14
Q Associates 8 4 2 2 19 14 +5 14
Waggon & Horses 9 4 2 3 21 17 +4 14
Blue Ball 7 3 1 3 28 15 +13 10
Bucklebury 8 3 1 4 21 20 +1 10
Paggies Bar 7 1 4 2 16 23 -7 7
Meadway 9 2 0 7 13 41 -28 6
Coopers Arms 8 1 1 6 13 50 -37 4
LMP 6 0 1 5 8 30 -22 1


12 points clear of 2nd who have 2 games in hand
13 points clear of 3rd/4th who have played the same

http://football.mitoo.co.uk/News.cfm?LeagueCode=NDSFL2006

This is where the league seem to be posting results/Tables

Fair enough we'll stick with the 17th then, can't have a xmas do without our reserve keeper...

There were no other games on Sunday apart from us and Waggon & Horses....

I cant do the 16th for our Christmas Bash! Allready going out for a family meal!

Hello mate,

Hope you had a good holiday.

I think most of the games were called off, we were one of two games in all three leagues to play when we beat Berks, and Jacko called all Henwick games off again this week.

Might be worth asking people about the Xmas tipple, I'm ok for either day, but I know Tony has his work party on the Saturday night but I've no idea about anyone else.

Matty do you know the other scores from this Sunday? I can see W&H won 6-0 but no other results? Seems like PO Res won as at the moment I have them 12 points and 2 games behind us and you make it 9 and 1...

Certainly looks like there's no game on the 17th, all the other Div 2 teams are in action in either league or cup and there's no Bowness Cup games. Be nice to have the other teams catch up on games played a bit so we can get a more genuine feel of where we are in the table (top!)

Is it worth moving our 'do' to the 16th so we can sleep it off on a Sunday rather than a Monday?

Fucking well done while I was away lads, I thought you'd beat Berks Arms but thought maybe Shalbourne might take advantage of some complacency maybe. Glad I was wrong, sounds like a good performance against Berks Arms and a good old grind one out up against the village people - something Sillsy said that Hilly is hoping to do at the christmas bash...

Hilly that sounds worrying about your knee, hope it responds well to physio.

See you all Thursday, except Sillsy. And Hilly.

Well I'm glad we cleared that up then.

So, what's going on?!

Ah, that's interesting, considering the 16th is a Saturday! Maybe we'll need a re-think, or we could just meet up at the usual time, do the usual thing, and pretend we won in the morning....

We've got to do something, it's Christmas!

Matthew one small problem i have just come across:

Sunday 16th December 2006 Division 2

Berkshire Arms v Bucklebury
Coopers v Shalbourne
LMP V Q Associates
Paggies Bar v Meadway


Anyone missing from that list???

Sunday 17th Dec - Bring you boots Sillsy, you might get a game...

Hee hee... I really am a funny man.

Hardly classic games on the 17th though -

Sunday, 17 December 2006

Everton v Chelsea, 13:30
West Ham v Man Utd, 16:00

Well Hilly, that depends very much on what your interpretation of 'Xmas Bash' is.

When is it, by the way? If I am going to come, it has to be on the His and Hers calendar well in advance...

Thanks for pointing that out Smiler. Are you coming to the Xmas bash Sillsy?.....hope so.

A typo... Just to get things clear - You used the words Hilly and gayer in the same sentence.

No other games were played in our league at the weekend, so that puts us 9 points clear over the Post Office, and we've played a game more.

Was that a typo Matty? Or are you suggesting the NHS are going to make Hilly a gayer?

'Get you on the bend ASAP?'

Great performance on sunday boys. A well scrapped out 3 points.

Right. We need to get all this outstanding money into Smurf asap as he's owed a bucket load at the moment and its coming upto the wrong time of year to be this much out of pocket. So please bring any outstanding money you owe to training on thursday night and i'll give it to smurf on sunday along with the money i already have. Hopefully then his kids will get their action man and barbie dolls they want!

Nick (Wayne's Goalkeeping friend) £3
JT £4.50
Tony £4.50
Hilly £3
Chris Miller £9
Gareth £12
Matt £4.50
Dave Screw £4.50
Crabbman £11
Ben £4.50
Macca £14.50
Lewis £4.50
Wayne £6
Miller £9
Crookie £22.50
Sillsy £10
Beenie £33
Neil Curtis £31.50

If You can let anyone know who doesn't read this how much they owe and to bring it on thursday then that would be much appreciated. Anyone that will see Crookie, Beenie or Neil if they can chase them up then im sure smurf would be very grateful as they owe the club nearly £90. Cheers lads.

That's not very good news... Must be all that muscle your legs have to carry. Very frustrating for you as you say, at your age you obviously want to get all the games in you can.

Is the doctor sending you for physio? Hopefully that'll get you on the bend asap.

Well done at the weekend lads. I'm going to be unavailable for a few weeks as the doc says I need some physio on my knee. I played in a BT game last week and was in a lot of pain at the end, it seems to get worse each game so need to get it sorted although it is very frustrating not playing. Before any smart remarks are made, no it has nothing to do with my age!

You boys are really flying, keep it going through Christmas and you're in with a real chance. One game at a time though.

Playing two at once is really hard, I've tried it. Luckily, I was on the bench for both.

Got good numbers for Thursday?

Consider it done John. Need to be there for 6.30pm again.

We won 4-2 yesterday, beat Berkshire Arms - who seem to think they were good during the build up to the game, but we infact battered them pretty much from start to finish. We just couldn't put the ball in th net!

Lewis was in goal! Superb perfomance.

I never used the word 'Hero'...

I'd love to come, put my name down please, anything to be lined up against those fine fellows...

Training at 'The Prison' next Thursday (30th), so those people that aren't playing Sunday, but are intending coming training on Thursday, please let me know so I can make sure Screw has you on his list.

I guess this is mainly aimed at the 4 goal 'hero'..... Zzzzz, Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

It's a shame that he's dead, probably up there with Roy Castle now, watching records being broken to the sound of a softly played Trumpet...

Tut... Nice one Hilly.

He is apparently dead, I heard someone talking about him on the radio the other day, they said he died in 2004 - but that doesn't mean he wasn't watching....

Damn you Hilly!

The record was six days, but you had to go and ruin it. We've been colluding for weeks to arrange this record attempt. Norris Mcwhirter was watching and everything.



Is he dead?

5 days since the last blog, is this a new record?

Like one of your shots Mr Sills, without meaning it you've hit the nail on the head.

We've got Meadway this week and we know not to expect an easy win but it should be an easy win. But after that we've only got LMP at some point in the future and every other team we play should be as good as Paggies or better.

What we've seen is, without knowing it, the easy part of the season. We can't complain with what we've done with that easy part as we've not dropped a point and that's pretty much all you could have asked for without getting a bit anal about it all. But now we're heading into the uphill section of the season, tough game after tough game right through to the end. Gonna be interesting!

Good job lads, keep it going...

Updated league table. Some excellent results going our way this week.

1 Berkshire Arms v Paggies Bar 1

14 Blue Ball v Coopers Arms 1

2 LMP v Shefford 8

3 Q Associates v Meadway 0

2 Waggon & Horses v Bucklebury 5

Berkshire Arms only managing a draw with Paggies which is brilliant. Waggon & Horses losing to Bucklebury which is also good and Q Associates only putting 3 past Meadway (although that might suggest that Meadway have improved from the dross that they put out against us)

I also noticed that on the league table they have online they're showing Blue Ball as having lost one extra game than I had them down as. Turns out something occured when they were due to play Waggon & Horses last Sunday (5th Nov) and the match was awarded to Waggon & Horses.

That's good news because, as we've witnessed, Blue Ball can be very good going forwards (putting 14 past Coopers) but now they're on the same number of games as us but 11 points behind. If we can take some points from our league games with them then it should put us in a really strong position.

All means that our next game against Berks Arms is all-important in keeping our momentum going. We're now clearly the team that everybody is going to want to beat.

Give those tomatoes time to really fester...

Your never catch us at your age.

Post your gig list on here Paul, and we'll see if we can make any others.

Just sent a text round - sorry but I have to cancel training tonight cos I can't get there and I've got all the equipment. May as well just have a 'week off' and head into the LMP game feeling a little fresher, especially after the mammoth effort last week against Newbury PO.

Back on next Thursday though.

Hairy, but firm.

They're more likely to look you up because of your hairy buttocks.

I'm just saying.

Nope, just saying that you thought I would mention the goals I scored on Blogger, whereas I didn't at all. Mostly through fear of a con leaving jail, searching for 'Shefford' on the internet and finding me out...

Did you score then?

Are you trying to say your too good for our league then? !

Last time I played in that division, we were top of the league as well...

I hope you've appreciated the fact that I haven't mentioned my goal glut from Thursday night.

It's probably for the best Sillsy, now we're top of the league we don't want to ruin it by playing you.... as a ringer.

I can't make Saturday night I'm afraid, already got something on - typical. I am actually slightly gutted, not only because I would have had 'side-stage' passes and would have met 'the band', but also because I've now wasted twelve quid on tomatoes.

We will definitely come to a gig one day soon Paul, you'll have to post us your fixture list.

Arrange a lunch time gig on Sunday 17th December and we'll start our Xmas piss up with a bit of moshin'.

Sorry Matty, I'm not actually signed on so therefore if the 'real' me did get out of the bed, I'd also be the 'ringer' me, and I'm usuless in goal. Still, a game's a game!

Anything new in the Shefford empire?

Hello mate - we were going to come along, but a few people have had to pull out, including the Atster himself, so at the moment we're a little unsure whether there's enough of us to make it worth it.

If we don't make this one, we'll definitely be along to one sooner or later.

Yeah I'll speak to Wayne tonight. Smurfy have you got any spare signing on forms? We might need to fill it in 'by proxy' rather than try and piss about getting the form off you, to him, back to you, etc. Be a shame if we don't have that Meadway game on the 19th as that would have been a good chance to give the new keeper 45 minutes (or a whole game) so everyone could get used to each other before the Berks Arms game.

Maybe Meadway away is the draw that Blue Ball had in the Vic French and they've already allowed us back in? (That was a joke by the way, I reckon Blue Ball will sort their finances out and even if not someone else will just get a by in the next round rather than us being allowed back into it... and even if not we'll just lose in the final again, that seems to be my destiny)

But yeah if you speak to the fixtures guy about the Meadway game and I'll try and get a number so you can talk to the keeper and fill out a form for him.

It's a plan.

At worst, Lewis in goal with Wayne and Miller up front. It's not a bad worse case scenario is it and Lewis even brought it up himself on Sunday!

If he's not signed on in time, maybe 'John Ringer Sills' could make his first appearance this year, in goal...

Assuming the 'real' John Sills doesn't decided to get out of bed...

19th November Berkshire Arms are in The Vic French Cup and we are down to play Meadway away,strange as we have already played them away,enquiries will be made.
Shane we will need to move fast if we are going to get this keeper signed on in time to play against LPM.

p.s. Smurfy I thought you said we had Meadway on the 19th. Best double check before we all get excited about trying to move the Berks Arms fixture.

And so that we can set people's minds right early on, even if we end up playing Berks Arms on the 26th, with a stand in goalie, we should still be looking to turn them over. Not having hangovers and nervous goalkeepers as an excuse, whoever goes in goal might gift them 4 goals and we should still be looking at taking the points, that's the level we need to set ourselves at.

Yeah I tried the whole charity event thing before when we missed the first game of the season due to being in Blackpool and they couldn't give a toss. Something about charity not being a valid excuse unless it helps bring little orphan boys into the region.

Might be stronger to suggest that it's better to get games out of the way in case the weather turns bad and we have to postpone fixtures cos of frozen pitches and stuff.

Plus it might be a Berks & Bucks Cup week and if Berks Arms are still in it we're fucked anyway.

Turns out this Norwegian has reacted a little nervously to actually having to play a a game in goal so I've asked Wayne to contact his matey to see if he can do it if we do play on the 26th.

Smurfy, if he can come along it might be worth starting him against LMP but being ready to whip him off if things start going against us. Gives him a chance to play behind the back four and get used to people...

Smurf another good one to use is say that one of the team is getting married so we will all be at the wedding!! so will struggle to field a team...

If you give them the whole bullshit - we might struggle to field a team on the 26th due a number of players taking part in a charity event etc, they might be more lenient!

I will be contacting fixtures secretary tonight to see if i can sort anything out

Interesting. Smurfy is it worth speaking to the fixtures secretary and seeing if we can bring that game forward?

I didn't even notice that it said 1st Division! Those were the days....

I've found a new web site with up to date fixtures, although the league table isn't up-dated yet. We don't have a game on the 19th Nov, and neither do Berkshire Arms.

It would be handy to move the game against them back a week, we'd have Smurf and fewer hangovers!

http://www.football.mitoo.co.uk/FixtResMonth.cfm?TblName=Matches&DivisionID=3659&LeagueCode=NDSFL2006&MonthNo=11

Latest league table showing the teams chasing us hard. Strange results again - maybe Bucklebury have got some of their decent players back, which can only work in our favour seeing as we've played them twice already and taken 6 points. Then like you say with Q Ass beating Hampstead Norreys (not the best team in Div One but quite difficult to score against) it shows that we've still got plenty of hard games in store.

We're only 3 points ahead and games in hand mean nothing unless you win them.

How old is that soccer weekend thing Matt? It's got us in Div 1!

Nice cold evening training at Henwick this week, we'll have to keep moving...

Meadway 0 - 6 P.O. Rev's
Coopers Arms 2 - 8 Berkshire Arms
Shalbourne 2 - 1 Bucklebury
Lmp 3 - 3 Paggies Bar

Berks & Bucks

Q Ass 2 - 1 Hampstead Norreys

...and Norreys aren't an easy team to beat.

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http://www.soccerweekend.com/team/profile.asp?TeamID=890

It was good wasn't it. Though the amount of swearing and stamping I was doing on the touchline suggests that we can play even better than that - but I think a lot of the silly stuff was because people were so fired up, which is not necessarily a bad thing and something we can work on.

I've sent in a write-up but we'll see if they print it all cos I said about their dodgy substitutions, thought Tony might like reading that :-) I couldn't work anything in about cheating scum linesmen too old to be acting like that get a fucking life and grow up it's only a game you wanker. Figured they wouldn't print it.

Superb yesterday chaps,great display of battling well deserved we just need to take that attitude in to every game we play.
I fuc*ing love beating them cu*ts with there bat big mouthed twat of a manager.
LOVE IT !!!!

Well we need to think forward to the 23rd Nov cos I'll be sunning myself in the maldives and we either cancel training that night or someone else takes it.

Would rather someone else stepped up to take it. Seems a shame to take the foot off the gas at the moment. Plenty of people capable of it at the moment, the squad's in really good shape in terms of attitude and mixture of maturity/experience...

Yeah it was spot on last night, the circuit training was a good change. I'm looking forward to the 30th.

Quality training last night and great attitudes from everyone. YOU'RE MOTHER'S A SLAG. The circuit training is really good for everyone and improves your fitness at whatever stage of fitness you're already at. BREAK YOUR FUCKING NECK. Good to see that we were the better 5-a-side teams too. GONNA FUCK YOUR MUM.

And good practice for facing some of the mouthier teams in the league as well.

Haha "Macca one of the cons has asked me for a photo of you for his cell."

So how come as soon as we beat a team the league table changes to show that they were shit anyway???

First glance of the table looks superb, very happy with it, 6 out of 6, lots of goals scored, few goals conceded, everyone else dropping points.

Second glance not so good - the only teams we've played in the league are in the bottom half of the table. Gutted.

We're not allowed to take anything. We're even getting tops supplied for us (although i think there's a chance that there'll be no tops so we'll end up running around in "skins" while the cons take dibs on which one of us gets to stay the night...)

Please Please Please Some one take a fucking camera!!!

Fantastic - so they'll love a nippy quick cheeky Essex lad won't they?! Imagine what will happen if Crabbeman put's in one of his 'loosener' tackles...

It's okay Matty I've got gloves and I think that the match part of it all will be some 5-a-side matches against the cons and against each other so we can probably rotate keepers.

I'm a bit gutted that I'm going on holiday cos I'm feeling the fittest I've felt for some years at the moment but am avoiding playing in case of holiday-threatening injury. That said, if it weren't for the upcoming holiday I probably wouldn't be working so hard to get fit (better air consumption = longer/deeper dives).

The good thing is, that because we dive we don't tend to spend every night getting off our faces (diving + hangover = unpleasant and possible death) so over the two matches that I miss while I'm away, my fitness levels shouldn't drop too much. So when I get back I may well start pushing for a more regular spot on the bench or better.

But until then it's bring on the convicts. Sillsy (and this is no joke) - Dave The Screw explained that the cons he chooses to train with us and play against us are more likely to be the lifers as they're more settled into prison life. Great eh?

Both - starting off with circuit training in the gym, so you need some trainers, then we are playing 5v5 games out on the astro, so you need either the same trainers, or some astro boots for that.

Should be good for the fitness... Or a good start for yours Sillsy.

So what's the deal tomorrow? Is it a normal training session, or a match, or both?

Frew will be sad to hear we didn't invited him for a one of special. He'd have walked out squeeking like Johnny Lamb....

I have some keeper gloves Shane, do you want me to bring them tomorrow?

That's closer to having a Frew joke attached to it...

Let us not forget that Oscar Wilde was imprisoned in Reading Jail for two years for being Homosexual...


Put me down if you can Shaner, but I won't drive; I'll go to Crabbemans and walk with him from there.

I'm afraid Frew's petty scouser crimes would only make him a laughing stock up against the lifers we'll be coming up against tomorrow night.

Burglary, car theft and touching up young 'uns are nothing where we're heading. These guys get to the last mission of GTA just by looking at their PS2. And once they've completed it, in the end cut scene the main character bends over for them.

I am, however, thinking of texting around some "advice" for the new, younger players on how to act, what to say and what not to say when mixing with the cons. Reckon that could be fun.

I reckon we all agree to refer to Andy Miller only as "Mr Big" all night.

Now with all this talk of prison and training surely there has to be some kind of 'Frew' Joke??

Eye's on you shane??

Sillsy when will you know by? I'm trying to find out from Dave if there's a cut off when he has to have everybody's details in by.

This isn't your banking-style "well we might give you a mortgage or we might not, dance for us a little while longer and fill out these forms in triplicate while we decide..." you know.

This is prison.

You might see some of your Essex 'massive' there Sillsy.

DOB is 09/06/82 (yes, that is 82), and Car Reg is RK55 VMD. Not 100% sure yet, but I'll try to come along. Just need to remove this large thumb from my head...

We're training at the actual prison. On Forbury Road, or The Forbury, or whatever it's called. Need to be there for 6.30pm. Need to give me your d.o.b. and car reg too, and come along with photo ID. Should be finished by 9pm apparently. Can't guarantee no rapage.

I've updated the league table, though I think there might be a few miscrepancies but only in terms of goals for and against, the points should be right unless I'm missing a couple of LMP results as they don't seem to have played many games yet.

But here it is anyway...

Whats the plan for Thursday then? Where are you training?

I'm actually on hols from work this week, so time isn't a problem. Could well come down for it, if I'm not going to get stabbed, murdered or raped. Well, maybe just the first two.

Sorry! I thought that when I read the actual results and realised Lmp didn't play Meadway!

Berkshire Arms 3 - 4 Wagon & Horses
Blue Ball 5 - 4 Shalbourne
Bucklebury 4 - 1 Meadway
Post Office Res 3 - 1 Q Associates
Lmp 0 - 5 Coopers Arms
Meat Heads 3 - 5 Shefford

Another Result

PO Reserves beat Q Associates I think it was 3 - 1 not not 100% sure....

Hello Everyone

I've not been on her for ages.... just want to correct matty tho!!

LMP lost 5 - 0 to Coopers Arms not Medway......

Smurf do you have a fixture list for this month??

Cool - as soon as you know the scores let me know and I'll update the league table. Dunno whether it's a good thing or not that W&H beat Berkshire Arms, I think I'd rather everyone was shit and there only a couple of decent teams. That lot all seem to be beating each other. Just up to us to try and not get dragged into it.

Yeah I've text Ben, Gareth and Genghis to see if they want to come and get their details.

Got a text last night from The Screw saying "please remind the players not to bring their missus!" which I thought about not telling Ben about but that's probably cruel on many many levels.

I meant if he just turns up without letting anyone know he's coming, he won't be on Screws list and therefore 'won't be allowed in'.

I haven't got any scores yet, apart from Meadway 5-0 LMP and Wagon & Horses beat Berkshire Arms, but I don't know the score.

I'll try find some out.

Why won't he be allowed in? Is he not over 18?

I have asked him if he intends to come along but have had no response yet.

And.... Matt...? Scores...?

Tut.

Are you coming training at the prison on Thursday Mr Sills? It's not very often we come to your neck of the woods!

Also - have we asked Ben if he wants to come? Otherwise he might just turn up with the rest of them, and obviously won't be allowed in!

We won 5-3. Went 1-0 up in about the first minute when Matt got brought down (about 5 minutes after taking his shot) for a penalty which Dave L scored.

Then about 3 minutes later Browny brought their player down in the box. Smurf saved the penalty but too many people were caught ball watching and they had three players queuing up for the rebound to equalise. Very annoying.

Then about 2 minutes after that they did a neat little one too which left their best player clear through to put them ahead. Even more annoying.

Then probably 20 minutes later Dave L got bundled over in the box, tried to get up and got bundled over again for another penalty which he put in to equalise. Their player got booked for that one as well.

Before half time Dave L and one of their defenders were doing a bit of pushing and shoving waiting for a corner to come across and the ref spotted it and had a word with them both. As Dave walked away another player just completely shoved him, for no reason, but he was the guy who'd been booked previously. He got a straight red anyway so they were down to 10 men.

To be honest, he wasn't the best player in the world anyway and I think the result would probably have gone our way as we were improving by the minute throughout the first half after a pretty shocking first 5 minutes. But either way, the second half was all us and it was just a matter of which chance would eventually go in.

Seemed like it might be a frustrating game but eventually the ball dropped to Matt on the edge of the 6 yard box and he took a touch and then placed the ball in. Within minutes Dave L took a run along the edge of the box and fired into the bottom corner, then within minutes again a good move let Matt put a peach of a cross in for Dave L to notch with his head from around the penalty spot to make it 5-2.

Late on a bit of confusion at the back (and probably some relaxation and complacency) meant that JT allowed their player to get the ball when it should have gone either to Smurf or out for a throw and he made it 5-3 and a slightly more nervous finish than it should have been.

But overall it was a good performance, well disciplined and showed some character to turn it around after a stuttery start. Quite impressed cos they were quite a mouthy bunch but we kept our heads and played some good footy at times. Dave L scored 4.

You should so some kind to Thatcham to Newbury run, get people to run to training rather than drive...

How did today go?

You know, on Thursday night I got to Henwick early. Two reasons, one so I could set up all the cones and stuff so we could go through some stuff without too much waiting around, the other so that I could do some fitness work myself first. I'm fitter than I've been for some time but still behind where I'd need to be if I want to be effective if I come on as a sub.

So I thought I'd go for the big one, one complete lap of Henwick. Set off at the corner of the car park near the entrance gate and went right around, down to the road, along to near the garden centre, up the side, up the hill and around the rugby pitch at the top, around the back where we train then back to the car park.

It took 6 minutes. I was gutted. I didn't even go particularly fast, it's just not as far as it looks. I was just getting into my rhythm when I came to the end. The thought of going round again was just too depressing.

Running is dull.

Yeah. I think last season should be taken out as something of an anomaly but not forgotten in case it happens again.

The difficulty facing us right now is a large squad, lots of availability and a good looking start to the season but with the occasional inconsistent performance thrown in.

It's one of those "if you'd told me at the start of the season we'd be 5 out of 5 in the league but out of two cups" we'd have taken it - but we can see the quality of the players we've got and then the turgid drivel that we produced last week and we know it doesn't add up.

The Japanese strive for perfection and yet never expect to achieve it, that keeps them striving all the time. Quite a good way to look at things. Of course, they lost the war, but that was a long time ago.

The main thing is enjoyment, and I don't know anyone who enjoyed last season after October...

If anyone did, they must be into S&M. Whatever that is.

It's that fine line between being fair and wanting to win.

My view was always that it's only sunday league footy and I didn't really want to be responsible for anyone feeling that they weren't as good as someone else.

Plus I was lucky and rarely ever had to drop anyone for playing badly, but so far this season even though it's been a bloody good start, we've had some frighteningly bad performances here and there.

As Ad said last night, it's a psychological thing. Everybody is fit enough, I think that when we had our 3 really good seasons (getting promoted then finishing 4th in Div 1 twice in a row) it was cos we rode the crest of a wave finding out how good we could actually be. Now we think we are good it's harder to motivate.

The real secret to this, I believe, is discipline. And maybe some less merciful squad selection until performances improve.

I'll see what Smurf thinks. He's already mooted his squad for Sunday by me and I agree with his thinking...

The rules at Shefford are good, but they can lead to problems and arguably not putting out our strongest team. It can mean someone not being picked just because none of the team that started 4 weeks ago have missed the last four matches, even if we've lost and played badly.

Being fair should just mean that everyone knows what the rules are, even if it means you don't get picked and someone who missed the last match does. I think most players should expect to be dropped if we've lost 7-0 the week before for example!

This Sunday will be really interesting. We have no idea what Paggies Bar are going to be like and it'll start to give us an indication on the rest of the teams in our league and whether we've just been lucky with our start to play 3 teams who are going to end up in the bottom 4.

We also have no idea how we're going to play, but I'm wondering how much the 'fairness' system can be stretched and whether 'playing for places' needs to be brought a bit further forward in the priority system. Might help some of the lesser-focussed players focussing a bit.

I certainly learnt a lot from last week's game and don't intend to make the same mistakes twice.

Also, sounds like training next Thursday might open a few eyes as to how easy we're taking things at the moment. I can't wait.

Chris Miller was on fire last night at training (in the match afterwards) wasn't he? Hopefully we can get some of that rubbing off on everyone else.

Your post was so scary, it's scared everyone off blogger for three days!

Maybe everyone has taken that time to reflect on what your saying...

As we near Halloween, here's something fucking scary for you...

It's a post from Matt from this very day last year:-

Monday, October 24, 2005
SHEFFORD GET TO GRIPS ON DIVISION ONE....

...and we've only just started.

1 Hampstead Norreys Played 6 Points 16
2 Newbury Post Office 5 12
3 Hermitage Reserves 5 10
4 Shefford 6 9
5 Monument 6 9
6 Henwick 4 7
7 Newthatch 5 7
8 Westwood Academy 5 6
9 Travellers Friend 6 6
10 Bayer 4 0
11 Paggies Bar 4 0


# posted by Matt : 3:17 PM



So this time last year we had 9 points and... finished the season on 12. Scary biscuits.

Beeny's back ALRIGHT!

Morning guys, Great to see your going really well in the league and playing some really good football, Good luck to you for the rest of the season, I shall try and get to some games to watch how your getting on!

Smurf, Sorry i havent been in touch about the money i owe you but I havent forgotten about it and I will pass your money on to simon a week from today, Very sorry its taken so long and very sorry for leaving you out of pocket, hope it hasn't caused you to many problems mate.

See you all soon!

Haha - that was quite good.

'Love is all around' - Wet wet wet

- Solo by P. Curtis

Backstreet's back ALRIGHT!

I hope your going to play some classic then...

'Blame it on the boogie' is surely your style.

Do you do requests?

We lost 4-2 after extra time. Got ourselves 2-1 up but allowed a fluke of an equaliser a couple of minutes from full time.

Nobody seemed bothered about extra time.

How did it end up today gents?

I was doing a search for Spread Eagle and then just for a laugh tried Shefford FC to see what came up. Some gay guy on MySpace...

No real point offering a defence, I love it!

And it's Dancingbear, not Dancing Bear.

That would be ridiculous.

Ha Ha dancing bear is class how did you find that Bellers?

Can't you just sign in there? I seem to remember signing in as "Ian Botham" to get in there once? Felt a bit crap though cos I was going in after "God".

Punch in the face to the first person who posts to insinuate that God is in fact them.

Dancing Bear was further down the list.

Don't you have to be a member of the Catholic Club to go there?

Hopefully The Spread Egale will be shit, but they might be a team like Bucklebury - sat at bottom end of the table, but aren't actually that bad.

Hopefully everyone is still hungry to perform after last weeks result.

So Spread Eagle FC have played 6, drawn 2 and lost 4. They've only scored 5 goals in those 6 games and have let in 18. That sounds bad, but it's only an average of 3 goals per game conceded.

Whereas we've played 5 and conceded 4, an average of just under 1 goal per game.

So if you're interested in mathematical probability, that suggests a 3-1 or a 3-0 victory. Not exactly the drubbing that you might expect due to their situation at the bottom of their division.

That's also assuming that their division is the same level of quality as ours, which we just don't know. Could be better, could be worse.

So the moral of this post is: Ignore it and play to our best.

Don't you agree, Dancing Bear?

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehahahahaaaaaaaaaahahahahahehehehehehehe.

Sniff.



http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=66634027

Hehehe.

And I think it's PO Reserves in the next round of the Bowness. They're in our division but look like one of the stronger teams.

It's terrible really, scouts at under 8's matches. You'd think it'd be cheaper for them to not employ the scouts and just poach the players they think are good by the time they get to 14 or so. Dunno why Chelsea have a youth squad at all at the moment, as if any of them are going to break into the first team at any point until Abramovich gets bored and takes his wallet away.

We could see if people want to come to the Catholic Club on the 11th. Could be fun. I assume we'd get access-all-areas passes and tickets to the after-party?

ALRIGHT PAUL!!! Calm down mate, touched a raw nerve have I old man?!! Grow old gracefully! LOL!! And by the way you're mistaken I'm only 25.
Anyone know who we've got in the next round of the Bowness?

Post some gig dates Paul - we could have a night out and 'support' your band. Providing the British Legion allow non-members of course. If not, I'm sure we can arrange some fake ID's!

Your feet gave up well before your hamstrings Paul! And by the sounds of your music, your ears will be next.

Not while he's still banging in the goals he doesn't. I've got a whole one so far this season. And it was a team goal that I just had to tap in.

Names for Shane to be called before we get to Grandad...

1. Sensei
2. Van Helsing
3. Mr Miyagi
4. Lieutenant Dan
5. El Tel
6. Boon
7. Jossie

And I heard your band has a cult gay following ;-)

I can think of no one better to watch trashing a guitar at the end of a gig than you Paul - I think you'd do it with feeling.

We're at home mate so a 10.30am kick off at Fortress Northcroft. It's a cup game against a team of murderers from Reading.

Sounds like a good start all round lads, well done!! Can someone let me know where the game is this Sunday as I might get down to watch.

It's great to look at, gives you (me) a great sense of achievement (even after only 5 games), which should be the motivation to keep it going.

There are going to be tough games, when you think Paggies Bar and Blue Ball have both been the whipping boys in the time, but both have points on the board and must be giving teams a game.

Unfortunately we sometimes ease off for the teams that are lower down the league, and we have already been caught out by Blue Ball - also Coopers have scored two goals in the league this year, both against us!

As said before, we need to approach every game the same, and go at them from the start.

Could be a wet one tonight...

I guess I better train first though.

Obviously the league table below didn't really come out right, so here it is again...

Played Won Drawn Lost For Against Points
Shefford 5 5 0 0 30 4 15
Berkshire Arms 4 3 0 1 17 6 9
Newbury PO Res 5 3 0 2 15 13 9
Shalbourne 4 2 1 1 18 12 7
Meadway 5 2 0 3 12 22 6
Paggies Bar 4 1 2 1 9 14 5
Waggon & Horses 5 1 2 2 9 9 5
Q Associates 4 1 2 1 10 10 5
Blue Ball 3 1 1 1 8 8 4
Bucklebury 4 1 0 3 8 12 3
LMP 2 0 0 2 2 10 0
Coopers Arms 3 0 0 3 2 20 0

So there's the current leage as far as we know, including last weekend's results. Good to see a solitary "0" in the Lost column for us. Also good to see we've got the least number of goals conceded (after the most games as well) and the highest goal difference - our goal difference is higher than all the other positive goal differences added together. Now I know you can argue that we've played Coopers Arms twice and Meadway once, but look where Meadway are in the league. Look where Bucklebury are in the league and they'll beat Meadway when they play them, and we put 5 past them and could have had more.

The only sad thing is that the Played column shows us at 5 and it needs to say 22 before it really means anything. We all know how teams can totally change throughout a season, going from no hopers to title chance pisser abouters. We just need to get on with our game. Another nicely disciplined performance on Sunday will hopefully give us a good cup trip away.

See you all tonight.

It's Thursday now!

Ok cool.

I hate having to wait til Thursday to see the league table. This Thursday I might take it and put it into an excel spreadsheet so I can update it as soon as we know the other results. Might highlight Shefford in bold as well. And use an unusual font.

We already know most of the results I have:

Blue Ball - 3-0 Post Office
Lmp 2-3 Meadway
Paggies Bar 1-8 Shalbourne
Q-Associates 3-0 Berkshire Arms

Great result lads, warms the cockles of my heart to see you topping the table again. I'll sign on with about two games left to join the party and claim some sympathy award.

I'm off to check out Paul's MySpace, PaulSpace, erm, the space.

Paul, please read the 'Terms and Conditions of this Blogsite. If I may draw your attention to paragraph 15, section 4, sub section 9, it reads as follows: "Under no circumstances will any persons entering this site be legally allowed to advertise or tout for business without prior permission by the management, this especially applies to ageing rockers".
Some food for thought there I think.

Scores please Matt - I know you know that Q Associates beat Berkshire Arms 3-0, which is good for us for now as we have opened up a little gap at the top, but it might just mean that Q Associates are also a team to be reckoned with.

Too early to say, we just need to work on our own game and after yesterday things are coming along quite nicely.

Can't quite see that. Maybe you just miss Neil and see him in everything. Like clouds and stuff. Fag.

Sillsy you'll be pleased to know that I've just had the pleasure of watching Shefford heading back to their best. a 5-1 mauling of Bucklebury (after going a goal down) and 14 men tuned in and focussed to perfection. Smurf only had one save to make in the second half and he dived to collect it when a simple side-step would have done.

We were good quality throughout and, against a half decent side, produced some lovely attacking football, along the ground and could have had a few more if we'd been a bit luckier in front of goal (Adam having a shot which skimmed off the top of my head as I was lying prone along the 6 yard box having taken the keeper out for him - but my head pushed the shot wide. It was their best save.)

But absolutely superb. Performance, attitude, fitness, the lot. Gives me an erection.

And do you not think Ben looks a bit like Neil?

Well done boys - league table looking nice and healthy, and a nice picture of Ben in the photo as well. Although it does look like he's up against Grundy, which was weird cos it was the Grundy lookalike that I noticed first, then saw Ben, then had a rest cos my head hurt, then figured it out.

That's why you're only Number 2...

Thats an absurbed comment Shaner.

I wear a black suit.

Ok mate thanks for letting me know.

Talking of players not coming training.... I might not be able to make it tonight, although I will try. If I can I will most probably be late.

Plus you now work in a bank and don't do any training any more so rather than a fast guy in jeans they'd be looking at a balding, middle-aged guy in a grey suit and trainers, slightly out of shape and slightly out of breath. Holding an HSBC umbrella, a zinger burger and a diet coke.

No, cause everyone would realise 'the guy in jeans and holding food and an umbrella' was fast at running, but would surely assume he's really shite at football, otherwise he'd be on the pitch....

They wont be that hard, if they were they wouldnt be bottom of the league. To be bottom, they must be crap and think they're hard but aren't, maybe like Coopers Arms?

Boysbrigade.com doesnt exist...must be a .org.

Anyone else find it strange that as soon as I mention boysbrigade.com that Sillsy is online more than before?

Do you think we should get Dave The Screw along for that match with some of his team out on day release to protect us?

Wouldn't it be embarrassing that the guy in jeans and holding food and an umbrella was running faster than you if I did Matty?!

Are you going to come and watch then Sillsy?

Is that 'Bring 'em on, 22nd October' as in that's when the game is, or 'Bring 'em on 22nd October' as in bring them along to whatever match we're playing that day?

Basically, is the match in Reading on the 22nd? In Reading? On the 22nd? See where I'm going with this Shaner...?!

Bring em on 22nd October

They sound like a nice bunch of lads at least. Pub right outside one of ex-most notorious grounds in the country, play home games at a park where girls get abused, stabbed and shot for being junky-snitches, and probably racist.

That's the pub that was right outside Elm Park (RIP), about 5 minutes walk from Prospect Park....

They sound shit, but Blue Ball looked a lot worse on paper!

Any ideas when the game is?

I have had the draw through for the second round of the Berks and Bucks,we are at home to a team that plays at Prospect Park in Reading called Spread Eagle.
Their league record this year is as follows;
Played 6
Won 0
Drawn 2
Lost 4
For 5
Against 18

They play in Division 3 West of the Reading sunday league and are currently bottom.

Why, is he a brigade leader? Or is he a Boys Brigade Historian, keen to assess the current interest and levels of new members in the Brigade? Or is he a photographer, looking at the quality of pictures making their way onto the internet these days? Or is he a Scout leader, checking out the competition?

I'm not sure I see what you getting at Shane, could you clarify...?

I think Matt may be right, unless it's a temporary glitch. Fat load of use it was too, but I could just see Jim Woild trying to type in all the results one-fingered, in between looking up www.boysbrigade.com for new members' photos.

Allegedly.

I think our league has been removed from Yellow Jersey. If not, I'm having problem finding it!

And the rest of the night was good yes, had a mini pub-crawl through the town, grabbed a curry at the Nawab and then played some pool.

A few players probably brought some of the alcohol with them to the game, cos we got off to a very slow start. But we showed some patience and they never really gave us much trouble, then Miller fired home just before half time which was great because they were starting to believe in themselves a little bit and were sooooooooo fucking thick it was starting to get on my tits (as I was a little hungover too).

Then their retarded keeper (not sure whether that's a joke or not, he might actually be...) let Miller's free kick through his hands and Crabbeman's shot bounced up over him so we were 3 up pretty quickly after half time. They got a goal back but they were all mouth and no trousers - lots of shouting to each other about how good they were and how bad we were, but it wasn't actually true. Then Lewis got to grips with their defence, got bored with them, threw them away and fired a quality shot which was stolen off him by Matt "you'd do the same to me" Atkins for 4-1. Then Matt had an easy tap in for 5-1 and they got a bit of a soft goal for 5-2 but by then we were well on top and unlucky not to get another one or two.

I know that motivation and belief is good, but shouting "this is our game" at 4-1 down is really stretching things a bit. But, we'll need to be a lot better than we were against some of the stronger teams so there's plenty of work to be done yet.

Good to see you on Saturday Sillsy, sorry the game wasn't up to it but blame McClaren not Rooney - cheeky fucker knew that taking Rooney off would dilute some of the criticism.

Norfolk An Idea

Produces great titters when they read the name out.

Lads,

Need to think up a 'humourous' quiz team name. Have though of the usuals... cunning linguists, quizteam aguilera etc etc

Any more ideas?

Also, anything topical would be good - got to be something to do with Kim Jong-il ???

Good night? Good match?

Well I'm not, but only cos Julie's away, otherwise I would have been. Genghis is being brought by Dale but I don't know whether she's stopping.

It's not the same kind of thing as we had before, much more relaxed this year, so Cat is more than welcome to come sit in the pub and watch the game with us, we're just doing the quick presentations (only two trophies) at half time.

Im not. Not sure if anyone else is.

Are people bringing partners tomorrow?

I'll go 3-0 England. I think Jt will get one, Crouch and Rooney.

What time we gonna meet at the pub tomorrow? I heard 4pm mentioned? How many people are going?

So, predictions for the match tomorrow? I'm going to 2-0 to England, Lampard to finally get one, with Rooney knocking one home too.

Was it raining? I didn't notice, my head was too buried in books... ;-)

Look at Hilly posting blogs at: 19.56 and 19.58 while rest of us are running our bollocks off.... 10 push ups I think.

No 1's are wet huh... Shouldn't take you long to get there then Mr Sills. I'm guessing you didn't train this week cause of the rain!

I prefer no2's as there's always a satisfying sense of relief but maybe that's just me?

No1 and no2's? it sounds like a scene from a Bond movie.

There's something to be said for being No 2; more weight behind you, you turn up less often, people recognise you for who you are. No 1's are a bit more wet, in my experience, a precursor to the main event.

Don't let them tell you you're number two John. I never used to.

I'm a manager at Reading branch, biggest branch in the South (80 staff) so we have four managers there, and I'm No.2 if you like, basically I run the ground floor bit. When I started I was on a graduate scheme so they pay for me to do a BSc in Financial services, but they don't monitor it really so I get to pick what modules I want to do. I've done Lending ones etc but also things like Marketing and CRM and IT systems, so if I want to further/change my career I've got a bit of knowledge in other areas. If I was starting it now, I'd have to do a company specific one, which makes it harder to move away if you want to...

And as I think the following diagram shows, we are actually fairly reasonable with our charges...

So what do you actually do these days anyway? Are you a branch manager, regional thingy? What do your exams mean for your career? Why are they teaching you marketing when there are Digital Marketing Specialists around that they could hire on a consultancy basis and pay them lots of money because of all the people they charge £30 for just for going £0.01 overdrawn?

Eh?

Scumbag banks? Why I oughta....

Multi-tasking Mr Sills. No point setting up your own business if you can't afford to buy anything for it. Don't want to sell out to those scumbag banks so need an income of my own other than that supplied by the business. Plus, I get to meet hot chicks.

And how come you're a 'Digital Marketing Specialist'? I thought you were setting up a Diving school...?!

Yeah, I probably should know that multiple P thing, I've seen that somewhere. Doing a case study at the moment, looking at the effect of Globalisation. How about you revise for me and I'll come to the pub, then you take my exam? Then I'll steal your car, sell your house, and head off to Peru for a year, whilst you can try to learn the guitar?

Well I'm now a Digital Marketing Specialist so I could probably breeze your exam. The secret to learn is that Marketing is really a piece of piss and if you have an opinion and can stick to it then people will eventually believe you. How else do Smart Car's get sold eh?

So are you learning all about the Marketing Mix with the however many P's there are? People, Price, Product, Placement, Puppies, Pneumonia.

Something like that I'm sure. If you want, come out on the piss and I can teach you marketing in 15 minutes during half time. Much like they do in Road Trip where he teaches his mate philosophy on the bus on the way back to his exam. Then we just need to get Cat to phone in a bomb scare to buy you some time, and Hilly can get bitten by a snake.

So, I'll see you about 4pm then.

Sorry Hilly, I'm caught in this weird Student/Worker hybrid mode, not sure whether I should be doing one or the other. This exam is on Marketing, so maybe Shaner wants to take it for me...?!

Sillsy what sort of student are you? revising?!! learning?!! not on the piss?!! have you read the student charter? very disappointing...........

Sorry lads, I'd love to come along but I'm holed up this weekend, got exams early next week so I'm revising/learning the thing. Told Cat I can't take her shopping becasue of it, so can't very well go on the pi*s. Saying that, if she goes away for the weekend...


You'll just have to post me my awards.

That yellow jersey site is a waste of space if they don't update it. It's quicker to wait for the Newbury Weekly News to come out. Grrr.

Had a good response from the new boys saying that if we made the presentation thing on Friday night rather than Saturday then they'd all be able to come along. Told them to fuck off cos it was the England game that we wanted to watch, but I thought it was good that they were keen to come along. We'll just have to do another night sometime for everyone.

Sorry, I'm not at work this week, so I'm not logging on much. Hope your all working hard!

I only know one result other than ours, yellow Jersey hasn't been updated and I didn't read the Reading Evening Post yesterday.

Wagon & Horses 2-2 Q Associates

Matty it's usually this time of the week when you come on here and tell us all the other results...

You're right Sillsy, Shefford are indeed in a goo position. Yucky.

Sillsy we're all going to watch the England game in Newbury on Saturday and do last season's trophy presentations if you're interested/free...

Good performance lads, sounds like good football was played! All is good in the world, and Shefford are in a goo position. You're all good people, and I'm in a good mood, which oddly is spelt the same except for one letter, but strangely doesn't rhyme.

Good.

Sillsy, Shane didn't do my goal justice so I'll talk you through it properly. I raised both my arms to indicate to Matty exactly where to cross the ball (as we had practised for the past 2 years and never went to plan!) which he did with pinpoint accuracy. I backstepped twice before rising above a crowded 6 yard box to meet the ball with my forehead and nearly broke the back of the net with a bullet header. I don't score many goals but I can sure dramatise them.

Matt dissed my club so I told him he was dropped.

Then I realised that's not my decision to make these days so I said shit.

Then I thought I'd appeal to the gaffer to drop him on my request so I said Smurf.

So, to the game.

We started well and within a couple of minutes Gareth had broken free (again) down the left hand side, cut back and put in a difficult cross which their centre back totally skewed his clearance and saw the ball loop over his keeper and into the net.

It became apparent from this point on that Meadway are in fact, utter shite. Friendly team, hardly anything for the ref to do during the game, nice blokes, shite.

But it started raining hard and for some reason we had a bit of a quiet spell. Were certainly never really under pressure but Smurf had to produce one save from Genghis and then another (good one) to stop the ball going straight in from a corner in the swirling wind and rain. That was about it though and pretty soon Gareth again broke free and was working well with Andy Miller and Matt to work the ball down the left hand side. The ball went into the box, pinged out a bit and Gareth fired it home from just inside the area for 2-0.

Then we must have had about 5 or 6 chances to score but for some reason it kept coming down to the players' wrong feet, or they were trying too hard, or something would get in the way, or they were snatching at it and not making use of the time and space they had. Played some lovely football with Matty and Adam spraying the ball out to the wings and then powering forward to support the attacks.

Wayne eventually got a bit of space and fired the ball home to make it 3 for half time.

Second half started and we were all over them again. Their back four couldn't stop anything going straight through them and at some point after about 10 minutes Wayne got his second (can't actually remember the goal I'm afraid...)

Then Crabbeman, Macca and I came on for Ads, Ben and Miller respectively and from then on it was game over. We got the ball on the edge of our own box and it didn't leave the ground from there even as it crossed the line for our 5th. Total football up the right hand side of the pitch, 6 or 7 passes until Macca passed it across the 6 yard box for me to slot home. Lovely team goal.

Then we went down the right again and I crossed the ball for Gareth to have a strike, when it pinged back out Matty took one touch to kill it and then fired it low and hard to make it 6. Then we had a few corners and Matty took a quality curling far poster for Hilly to arrive and nod it home (I could have got a touch on it but was worried about deflecting it over so I left it) for 7.

We really could have had a hatful more, missed more than we scored but played some good stuff and should look forward to playing them again sometime. Easy.

What was that Dropped-Shit-Smurf thing all about?

So, a match report, please...

It was MC Harvey (pronounced the same as MC Donalds I think) and no he left ages ago after hardly getting a game. I think he still plays somewhere but at a lower level.

Yes, it does go lower.

Doe's DJ Harvey - or what ever his name is, still play for AFC Dons?

Dropped.

Shit.

Smurf!

I don't think the internet shows leagues that far down....

Anyone know how the AFC Dons have been getting on?

AFC Dons update as I'm sure you all want to know.

We won 2-1 last night against Ashford Town. Puts us 6th in the league and still unbeaten. Too many draws so far for my liking and that was the problem last year. Even last night it took an 84th and 90th minute goal to take the points.

But we're only 4 points off top spot and it's early days so everything to play for yet.

There's a guy who videos the matches and puts highlights up on the web after the game. The quality of football is surprisingly low considering it's Ryman Premier Div.

Thanks for your time.

Grundy - okay mate I'll put it in my training bag ready for you.

Well, I didn't see the match, don't know who played, and haven't seen you train, so I really have no opinion on the match.

And everyone knows Roman dogs were gay. They all were. Rampant.

Congrats Browny hope your all doing well.
Lads what happened. Just returned from a few days in the sun to see this result. At least you can concentrate on the league title now. Thats more important anyway.

Shane, i'll pop down on thursday for training and pick it up. Thanks anyway

Yes very disappointing yesterday, sorry about the penalty it was a stupid, very clumsy pen to give away and seemed to be the catalyst in giving them the confidence to have a real go at us. Having said that, I know we are capable of playing a lot better than that as a team. We have enough quality in our team to pass the ball and keep possession especially in a situation like yesterday with a 3 goal cushion, although I think that worked against us as we seemed to switch off and assume the game was already won.
Let's hope that's the last time this season we are posting blogs like this, as another season of 'lets put it behind us and look forward to next week' would be very demoralising.

COME ON SHEFFORD!!!

Materazzi said that when Zidane offered to give him his France jersey after the final whistle, in response persistent shirt-tugging by the Italian, he had replied: "I would prefer your sister."

So that's what it was all about. Ah well, on we go.

Grundy - Wayne shot off yesterday before I could give him your form. If you pop your address up on here then I'll make a note of it and then I'll delete your post (so the internet perves don't start knocking...) and I'll pop it in the post.



Blue Ball played some good footy but we still limited them to chances through til the penalty - after that we collapsed and they broke through on goal a lot more. I have to hold my hands up too because from the sidelines I got caught up in it and should have been thinking about changing things, other than personnel, to soak up the pressure a bit better. But there we go, we'll work on it. Not as though any one person was to blame, it was a good old fashioned team fuck up.

I was definitely one of those players, don't know why or what was wrong, but just couldn't get myself into the game. Therefore I apologise.

It's a kick up the arse for all of us, and we'll put it right next week. We could almost learn something from the football they played.

As you saw Beeny, Blue Ball were not the Blue Ball we know and love. However, from 3 up there's no way we should have played as badly as we did. Too many players having individually bad games all at the same time. Reckon we were effectively down to 8 players. Not good. But ah well, it's early days yet.

"out Roman dog"?

Congratulations chris and Kirsty!! Well done to the both of you, and welcome to the world to callum!!!

Seriously BLUE BALL!!!!!!!

WHAT HAPPENED???

Baculum - That's what out Roman dog would have chased...


Big Grt?

Crabbeman doesn't have a car and he's coming...

Kanine - latin version of the word, you opted for the chavvy modern-day version that they probably use in Thatcham.

Either that or I was heading towards "K9" meaning that I was trying to prove that Browny's son is not related to the Dr Who's shit robot dog.

"Big Grt"?

What?!

I was going to come tomorrow, today, whatever. But don't have a car. Still hope you boys do/did well...

Kanine? Canine?

(Seriously Browny, congratulations mate, you haven't slotted one in as well as that since the cup final)

That's enough to start a conspiracy theory. However I'm more into my "debunking" these days so allow me to get in a pre-emptive strike...

Browny's son Callum is not the son of a dog. Here is the evidence. He has just the standard two legs of the homo sapien species rather than the kanine four. He goes "ga" not "woof" and has an extraordinary sense of smell due to his genetic father's nose. Um...

Congrats sir!

However, is there something you;re not telling us? Look closely at the picture below, at the magazine the baby is looking at. Then read what it says on the picture...


Dad?

Congratulations to you both! I have some spare Swindon Town baby grows if they are any good to you??

Incase anybody didn't know i am now a very proud father of a little baby boy. Callum Stanley Joseph Brown was born on Wednsday at 18:39 and weiged 8lbs 4oz.

Kirsty is ok and I am just getting used to the whole fatherhood business and extreme lack of sleep.

I did - but it turns out he's a legend over in Canada. They have an animated show called "Browny The Mounty" where he goes round righting wrongs with his trusty wolfhound pal. His catchphrase is "Zoiks!"

And they all wanted to know who the father is.

You should have told them a few stories about Browny, that would have put a quick end to the meal and you could still have made training!

There was cheering at an England match?

And no Adam. There is not. What had come up was a need to take three Canadians out to dinner in Windsor. The stories those guys come out with. They don't appear to have an ending. Or a point.

Cardiff is a good night out, but I'd recommend not watching an England match while you're there. It took me a while to realise why everyone else wasn't cheering...

So there is a fit blonde 19 year old in your new office....

Grundy I'm afraid something's come up at work and I'm not going to be at training tonight to hand your form over to Wayne.

I can either hand it to him on Sunday, or if you need it before then let me know and I'll either whack it in the post to you or drop it off on my way back through Newbury.

Are we training at Henwick today?

Yes mate he gave it to me on Sunday - I'll pass it to Wayne tomorrow night no worries.

Shane,

can you give wayne my transfer form and signing on fee thursday please. Smurf said he gave it to you.

Ive never been there, but isn't cardiff meant to be quite a good night out? A bit more expensive but Amsterdam was pretty cheap when i went on a stag do couple of months back. Think it was £105 for 3 nights. We had a room that slept 16!! it was only a tenner each a night!

Ah them was the days. Somehow Newquay never really matched up to Blackpool in my opinion, but we couldn't keep going back to the same place(s) again each year. I do miss Cody, but being realistic the way she was becoming more and more jaded each year it's probably best that we don't go back there. Find some haggered old dear with hairy legs and fake tits that have given up pretending. Better to leave on a high (two years before our last trip would have done it).

Must have a good think about the next trip. I'm sure a while back I came up with an idea that I thought was genius, but for the life of me I can't remember what it was. Useful.

I know we briefly considered Newcastle, but it's a hell of a long way to get there and the flights just don't work out as cheap as they try to look.

Suggestions on a blog post...

Type "water-gun" into the search bar and read the post dated 2nd Aug 2004. Brilliant!

Plus if Ad is now in control of the site and I'm in control of the blog, that gives us control of Shefford Media and we can pretty much do what we bloody well like.

Ad, take 3 of Lewis' goals and allocate them to me. He might argue but when they look back at the historic rise of Shefford from Sunday League to Champions League, the history books will show that I was, in fact, very good.

Evil laughter.

Mine still says Left Wing - (3 apps - 0 goals!) - But in theory that just means I whipped in the balls for all 16 goals.

No one need ever know.

No I cant. The League do that themselves by the look of it. But if Smurf sends me the fixtures he has, I can list them in the news section.

Unfortunately I couldn't find the word I was looking for to describe Ghengis. The lists just not substantial enough...

I understand you grievance with your statistics but your goal ratio still has something to be desired by the centre midfielders you have brought into question. 16 goals scored in 3 games and not a centre midfielder on the score sheet. Its a pitty the transfer windows closed...

Looks good - can you not get the fixtures up on there? Be good to be able to see what games we've got coming up...

Got some surnames for you:-

Ben Kirkham
Gareth Withers
Macca = Simon Macintyre

Also, you've got Genghis down as a right-back. Please correct.

Finally, now I'm not a sensitive bugger, not a prima donna, but having had 15 minutes on Sunday, 3 of which up front and then 12 as a "midfielder" making up for the deficiencies of the existing centre midfielders on the pitch, my stats look somewhat dubious at 1 appearance and 0 goals. Just saying.

Right, Ive updated Yellow Jersey for Smurf. Let me know if ive missed something or fucked something up.



http://www.yellowjersey.net/TeamNews.aspx?LeagueId=85

Newbury Post Office 5 - 1 WKD
Berkshire Arms 2 - 2 (aet) Q Associates
Blue Ball 1 - 7 Nst Direct
Fc Hogs Head 5 - 0 Falkland
Meadway 0 - 1 Hermitage Reserves
Newbury Post Office Reserves 2 - 3 Westwood Academy
Newthatch 9 - 0 Coopers Arms
Paggies Bar 1 - 7 The Swan
Shalbourne 1 - 3 Cross Keys
Shefford 3 - 2 Kennet
Turnpike Sports 3 - 2 Bayer
Vodafone 6 - 0 Burghclere
Wagon & Horses 3 - 4 Red House

Some funny old results in there, and how the hell was the game next to us 9-0 when I swear I didn't see a goal go in throughout the whole of the first half??? Poor old Coopers Arms, 11-0 one week, 9-0 the next.

Not a bad result for the PO Reserves though, narrow defeat to the team top of Div 1. Same for Meadway as Herm Reserves aren't a bad side. Same again for Wagon & Horses narrowly losing to a Prem team.

But hey, we won, and although you could consider the result narrow and things could have been different if they'd sneaked a 3rd fluke, we were comforable for a lot of that game. In fact Dave Lewis and I fully expected us to run away with it after Wayne had put us two up, they just got lucky.

I was walking down the road the other day and there was this little old lady carrying two heavy-looking bags of shopping. She was making a funny face.

I asked her if she was okay.

She said she had an itch and would I be a dear and scratch her nose.

So I went like this.


So it's a visual joke, doesn't really work on a blog. Besides, you've had all the Blue Ball stuff below which is pure comedy gold.

Johnny Sills

Great start to the season lads, you boys are flying!

Someone tell me a joke.

Great result yesterday chaps, thought it was sound performance. Bit gutted that we conceded 2 goals, but hey a win is a win and on to the next round. Been a while since I have actually bothered to type on here.

Still no baby yet, just hoping the mrs decides to squeeze it out this week as all this waiting is getting boring.

P.s - Hope you enjoyed the match yesterday Smurf, I know I did, one to savour 3 points at Old Trafford.

lol - I was shouting for you to come on Hilly! But Smurf said to bring Genghis on instead. He's shit. If we'd brought you on instead then it could have all been different. Might have been you totally air-swiping at the ball instead of me...

Never mind, hopefully you'll get on the pitch against Blue Ball, give you a chance to get their striker in your "corner pocket"... Try not to give away a "foul" or Smurf might decide to give you a "rest" and opt for the "Browny" instead.

Matt, your "cue"...

Fucking bench warmer now am I?!! 'Old has-been' said the critics, well I'll show ya you just wait!!! You'll all be eating your words!!! I'll be back scoring my guaranteed 1 o.g. a season before you know it! Grrrrrrrr!

Yeah, er, that wasn't me.

Who the hell played for us last season? Doing the voting form and I'm sure I'm missing people...

Smurf
Woody
Genghis
JT
Hilly
Tony
Browny
Beeny
Rob
Crabbeman
Rob
Matt
Adam
Sillsy
Dave Lewis
Andy Miller
Shane

If I've missed anyone obvious then I'm sorry, it's Monday. If you can think of anyone I missed then post it on here...

"Bring on Blue Ball. We should get 5 points if we "pot" them. "

Come on Shane, your better than that!

Superb performance yesterday - some great footy at times and some real teamwork at other times to keep them out.

I think the fact that we were defending quite desperately at the end flattered them a bit and we fully deserved the win. I know Smurf pulled off two brilliant saves but we had more chances than them over the 90 minutes and scored 3 great goals against their 2 flukes. We win.

Bring on Blue Ball. We should get 5 points if we "pot" them. Ahaha. Aha. Ahem.

Hilly
Did you
know that
if you
randomly
press the enter
button
it sounds as
though you have
asthma.

Too many big words and long sentences.......

Agreed.

We've got no Dave Lewis on Sunday which we shouldn't notice as we've got a Wayne and a Miller who have both got the taste for goals.

We're without Macca as well but have Ben and Gareth both available, who have both got the taste for goals.

When we played Kennet last time they were quite good coming forward but susceptible at the back. They're strikers are 'physical' - not in an aggressive way but they like to bump, nudge and pull you off your balance to try and get a yard. They were also quite dangerous in the air so we'll need to get the back four jumping well for corners and set pieces. We should take no credit for having beaten them once already as look how much we've changed this then!

Well said........Matty mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm beer

Roll on Kennet....

lads i think enough has been said on this whole subject now. So can we all just leave it where it belongs. Good luck for the season and thanks for welcoming me into the team last season.

cheers,

Hmm... Cold beer.

Sorry Beeny, I must have written my previous post while you were writing yours. The way it reads looks like I was iggnoring you!

Hi Beeny,

Everything you said is right and fair.

It seems that maybe people's understanding of what their input would be didn't necessarily match with other people's and that caused some friction, which is a shame.

Sadly, whatever anyone says they heard/said or didn't hear/say, there was some sniping going on. Dunno whether you noticed but I had to walk away from you and Grundy during the Buckleberry game because of what I was hearing and seeing. Thought it was out of order.

But as I said earlier, these things are better off out in the open and I hate holding grudges - life's too short. Hopefully we can all look each other in the eye now and move on from it. And on that note I think I owe Grundy an explanation about the Bucklebury game as we haven't really spoken since...

Start: Smurf was going to ask you to do the subs in the second half but by pure coincidence Macca handed you the flag to go and run the line. I fully expected you to get someone else to do the line but fair play to you you took it without complaining. Sadly for you, that left Smurf without his right hand man so, knowing that I've done it in the past, he asked me if I would do it.

When the time came to make the subs I'd been having a good look at the game and felt that we were starting to take control, creating more and more chances and they were starting to tire. So I felt that pace would be our best option. I had Miller, Macca and yourself to choose from, so I plumped for Macca and Miller to put a bit of firepower into the team. Absolutely no detriment to you whatsoever. There was no negative thoughts towards you at all in that decision. If we'd been getting over run in midfield or been struggling to get the ball forward with any quality, I'd have stuck you on there and left Miller out. Simple as that.

I hope you believe me in that there was no malice in the decision. Everything above is exactly how it happened and how I thought about it. :End

Now, can we please all grow up a bit, we're men not boys and this sort of thing does morale and team spirit no good at all. Hopefully it hasn't affected the youngsters too much already. Like I said above, I don't bear grudges and it's better to judge a person by their actions in the present rather than what might have happened in the past. I would hope that there'll be no problems with Smurf giving Grundy his signing on fee back and doing whatever transfer documents are necessary for the league - absolutelt no reason for us to be awkward or make things difficult.

Big deep breath, nice cold beer, and there we are.

It was a great goal, just came out of nowhere. Plus you don't get many Lewis headers to the pound!

Training at the prison sounds good. It might need to be a little later than 7pm if possible, but for a one off I'm sure everyone could make it at whatever time is available - even a wet and windy night in November!

Even John Sills might come. He's wet, and scores in the wind - best I could do.

Last year I think a lot of people lost 'the Shefford bug' slightly, results were showing that and obviously making things worse. Everything is very much improved already (including the talk of Saturday football! Grr!) this year, and results/performances are keep people keen. Plus, a night out one day will help!

Hmm... Beer.

I don't mean to cover old ground or take any sides as i wasn't at the game you guys have been talking about but, I would like to just add a little bit to it as i feel that there are a few things that have gone unsaid,

I can understand that from shefford's point of view that anybody causing any kind of unrest any where within the team isn't good for anybody least of all the manager

I can also say that from conversations we had before preseason training started we all had decided that it was unfair to smurf to let him run the club and to take it forward totally on his own as, from his own omission it wasn't fair and it was a very difficult task for him last season,

after having talking to grundy way before the accutual start of the season, I thought things were going to change this season, with shane and paul both having an input into training and also being behind the scenes in some part, being in contact with smurf on availability of players, fitness of players, attitude of players, as for i can see it, unfortunatly for smurf he has no idea of what goes on in training.

I just thought I would add my comments and in no way is this detremental to anybody, Shefford is a great club with alot of history, and most of it has been fantastic, I just just hope that it continues to go from strength to strength.

Well the new player Dave (prison officer) last night said that Lewis' header was one of the best goals you'll ever see in Sunday footy, so it must have been a bit special.

He also said that if we fancy it one evening for training that he can get us into the prison where he works, floodlit pitch and all that. Sounds good, he's gonna try and set it up for some time in November.

Still needs a lot of effort, but feels like we're starting to get back to the type of Shefford I know and love. Especially if while we're in the prison I can lock Crabbeman and Lewis in a cage and then have someone set the Riot Alarm off...

Beer, at one of the only training sessions I missed... There's some sort of hidden agenda here!

If I'd known that I'd have told the girlfriends mum to stick her birthday.

Actually, there probably were two goal of the season contenders - based on our goals so far! A superb glancing header from Lewis after a quality ball from Wayne. It was probably one of those goals you needed to see to appreciate how good it was!

Also, a superb team goal scored by Ben, 10+ passes that's started off at the back, though the midfield, out wide, and a cracking finish from a tight angle.

....and... Yes, Lewis scored two from outside the area, a bullet from about 35 yards after about 30 seconds of the game, and the header I think was just outside. It was a long 'glancing' header!

I know your busy Mr. Sills, but when are we going to see you again?

* No I don't miss you, or your skills, pace, wind assisted goals or even your gay Arsenal tops. I just wondered.

Yes.

I know I know, I was working until 7 though!

11-0 it might have been , but were there two goal of the season contenders (1 winner, jointly with another of mine)? Did anyone score two from outside the area after the manager had been heard to say to his friend before the game 'this lad cant shoot'? Was there a race to the corner flag after the first goal with the person last there buying beer for everyone?

If you'd got off your seemingly Scottish arse and come to training last night Mr Sills, there would have been a Bellamy-bought beer waiting for you. I bought some nicely chilled cans of lager for after training to celebrate the squad getting a club record victory on Sunday with the 11-0 humiliation of Coopers Arms. Beats our wind-assisted 11-1 over Shalbourne and even beats our 16-0 farce against the side who's name I can't remember because they folded immediately after that game so the result was taken away from us (shouldn't really count it anyway as they only had 7 players on the pitch and their goalkeeper spent 70% of the game lent up against the post having an asthma attack...

I scored 6.

Did someone mention beer? I'll have a beer if Shaner's buying.

Or anyone, really.

Maybe we could all share the beer....

Just a thought.

Ok. Sounds like at least things are a bit more open. Thanks Ads and Matt for being honest, better for everyone to say what they mean. I really hope you're not bitter Grundy, as you're a decent bloke and it'd be a shame to have a wedge driven between "you and us", does nobody any good.

I think the reason the senior players might be reacting more is that they've seen a similar(ish) situation before with a bloke who was manager and then had an argument with our then keeper and turned into this horrible, poisonous bloke that tried to tear us apart. It was horrible, for everyone, and we lost 2 players as a result, one of them just quit footy altogether! And that was mainly from talking to players behind people's backs and on the sidelines saying that "that's not the way I wanted to run things..." and picking on the guys who had been picked as sub because they're and easy target - stuff like that. It was awful and the club nearly folded. None of us will let that happen again.

So if you find us being a bit sensitive that'll be the underlying reason - none of us want to see anyone, at all, undermining the manager and playing people off against each other - there's no fun in it. We vote a manager in and they have a season before the next vote, if they fuck it up we all share the responsibility (as we did last season) because we had a say in it at the beginning and have another say at the end.

But if we can get past it that'd be the best thing. And if you really want to be a part of the set up then come back in. Because of the positions you play you might find your playing chances limited this season (don't take that as a pop, my playing chances are even less and I'm fucking excellent) but at the end of the season, like every season, everybody gets a vote for who they want to be next season's manager. If you're happy finding another club where you'll get more footy, completely understand, mebbe we'll see you in a cup final.

Made myself laugh there, we're crap at cup finals.

Anyway, if you're not signed for anyone this Sunday and you're coming down to watch the game, I'll buy you a beer after the game. That's meant for Grundy, not anyone reading this post...

You need some paragraphs in that last post Grundy, lost my place every time I blinked!

I understand what your saying mate, and everyone appreciates your input and commitment to pre-season, and last year (inc. Newquay T-Shirts etc), you took some good training sessions and ran the friendlys well. There was obviously some confusion over what part you were expecting/expected to play after pre-season - but that's obviously between you and Smurf.

I will say that I heard a lot of moaning coming from the side of the pitch while I was warming up, ok you came down to support the team, but talking to players, especially the new ones about unrest within the camp before a game isn't very helpful to game preparation! Also puts the club in bad light to the new players, as if this happens a lot, when in fact this is the first time we've had problem since I signed for Shefford. One thing I've always loved about Shefford is the team spirit amongst the squad, which unfortunately has been slightly lacking over the last year or so, but we're slowly getting it back....

I think it came as a shock to everyone when you left, no one expected it, nor wanted it. But it was a decision you made, and I'm not sure why you were expecting people to call you to change your mind. If you weren't positive you wanted to leave, there were many other ways you could have tackled the problem.

No one feels threatened by you coming to watch games! Or if they do, your welcome to every game. You saw the 11-0 performance - take any credit from that game you want!

We're all mates, nothings changed - I for one don't mind if you want to watch games, although if your signing for The Red House I'd imagine your be occupied most Sundays, running the line etc....

It's blown over as far as I'm concerned and I'm looking forward to a good season ahead.


(This is where we shake hands....Acccccch - spit - Shake!)

P.s. The running the line comment was a joke! Maybe...

No, it was really....!

Bye.