Friday, January 30, 2004

Good luck on Sunday, can someone text me the result please - with who scored and MOM. Thanks. Oh and can someone text me where we are next week as I am back late on Saturday. Cheers
Arrh... Your all at work and I'm not!

Reminder for people going to Jougulars: Please can you all bring the extra 8 bucks with you on Sunday (except Mikey who's paid). Any queries or quibbles see Browny, if anyone still isn't happy and feels the urge to smack him.... Just stand in line.

Browny - You may want to being the £144.00 you owe me, not that I don't trust you or anything.

Thursday, January 29, 2004

And don't ever ask him the best way to get down the avenue. you'll be there for hours.
I only said you were more of a cockney than John Sills, doesn't mean you have to come from anywhere near London - even though Sillsy secretly wishes he was born within the sound of the Bow Bells and regularly eats jellied eels in an attempt to fit in. And he doesn't have sex with Cat, he has "ow's ya farver". And he trains Whippets. And wears a beefeater. And if you ever ask him what fruit he thinks you should eat he slaps his thigh and tells you to have a banana. You should see him if he spots a barrel indoors. And if he's ever out with his old man and a van drives past...
Snow. Gosh.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Beeny and hilly aren't going mate, Ive spoken to most people and they know, that 16 pounds does inlcude food aswell.
Just had a read through the really small print and it does say that they are limited seats and 1st come 1st serve.

Hilly's turned into more of a cockerney than Sillsy init?
p.s. Browny does it mention the 2for1 offer on the flyer and does it say that the offer has limited spaces?
Hopefully not - what does everyone else think? I'm happy to pay £16 for it, it's a bit of a different night out, but everyone will have to be religious about giving Matt the money cos he's stuck it all (unknowingly) on his credit card. If anyone has to drop out cos of the cost then you'll have to let me know before tomorrow night. Should be a good night, worth the money, and it's only £16 and it's so close to payday... C'mon.

Browny is there anyone who won't read the Blogger that you need to let know. Has anyone approached Beeny and Hilly about all this?
They have got our details and will take the money, on Friday morning. I complained and said about the offer, but they were having none of it.

I've still got the flyer I will bring it on Thursday, if we want to cancel it we can?

You can't hide.
browny do you still have the flyer thing from Jongleurs? Not having any of this "it's no longer 2 for 1" crap. Have you given them any money yet?

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Evening all,

Got some good an news and some bad news, Good news is that Jongleurs is booked the bad news is that it's £16 rather than the original £8 that was first quoted.

Reason for this is, they put a certain amount of seats by for the BOGOFF offer, and it's 1st come 1st served. Unfortunately we missed out.
I tried to blag it and say that we booked before hand, but didn't have payment, but they were having none of it.

So if we still want to go you all need to give me another £8 each. If not then let me know and we can cancel it at anytime so let me know your thoughts??

Matt don't please don't panic. Nothing is coming off until the Fri morning and I you will have all the cash way before then.

HTML, Net, Barkshire, romanians, blah blah blah...

Im off to Bristol.

Oh Matt, my address is 48 wykeham road, reading, rg6 1pw, browny said you wanted it, is it those pics you took...?

Now Im off to Bristol.
If you are going to write it in anything mate, you want either .NET which is a bit more technical but quality. Or HTML which is very basic. I think .NET is abit more expensive though.

Ghengis i aint got a shagging clue what your going on about with all this computer jargon i have only just learnt how to turn mine on. But keep up the good work and make sure you give me a good write up.
Genghis take any of the images you need from the intheteam site...
Well while we're all at it - Mikey if you need any advertising doing then I have a whole creative studio at my disposal, some of the finest creative brains in the country and access to a media-booking team who can get us tv, radio and national press space. We also, currently, have an infra-red camera and a romanian helicopter. Just in case you have anything like that planned in your web design and were wondering just how to go about it.

Browny I'd like 4 please. Could you send them to me via registered post? I want them for decoration.
If you want any help with the web site Mike let me know. You can visit the one I have done for my company at www.barkshiregroup.co.uk although it's not quite finished yet.

Monday, January 26, 2004

http://veepers02.budlight.com/service/RetrieveCard?id=48BB68D6-5033-11D8-A901-B3EE4054966E
And Browny, STOP WITH YOUR IT RECRUITMENT!
Dont know why noone else has mentioned it mate, but your link was fu*king brilliant!

We dont have any foreigners, but Im from Essex and Lamby is from the North, both of which I know seem a long way away to inbred yolkles like some of you (well, the swindon supoporters amongst you. Well, Hilly)

Im gonna run a long way away now...
Hey guys, Well what can we say about yesterday, very frustrating sat on the side lines knowing you can't do anything about it.
We didn't play that badly and we were much better than they were, just didn't take our chances.

Mike if you need a Web Developer and designer I can find plenty with good experience on my database.

.COM is the way forward mate, it's easier to access and the URL's are easier to find, plus you don't have to type as much.

I pressed "Post" before Hilly's comments had appeared on the Blog!!! After reading Hilly's insightful musings, I'm tempted to agree that .com is the way forward. It may also help us next season when we try to conquer the American market. While we're at it, we're changing our name to "Shffrd FC" to appeal to a younger audience, and getting a new skimpier kit to appeal to Sepp Blatter and Stevie Tab.
.com is a bit ambitious though! Shows we're a multinational organisation, we haven't even got any foreign players, although after a few beers then Smurf seems to speak a different language.

Did anyone get that link to work then or is it just me sat here smurking to myself?

.com has gotta be the best!
It's a good idea Mike - the intheteam one isn't as much as that though I don't think - you could take over that one if you like... Depends whether you're looking forward to designing the site yourself, completely up to you. .co.uk is the best out of those options below though in my opinion.
Morning Everyone. Firstly Can i say sorry For my outburst yesterday i felt that as shane said as a team we've had better games, to many times yesterday we found ourselves moaning about lost passes and missed opertunities, and everybody game's was on the same par. On reflection i don't think we played badly and we were definatly better than them, and that was on a poor performance.
Why i was so angry was that after the first goal we wern't a team we were individuals and for so much of the season we've been a team, also I was angry with myself i gave away the penalty. Lets put the result behind but learn from our mistakes just cos were nine on the trot without losing doesn't mean teams are gonna lie down and let us walk all over them if anything there more determind to bet us.
http://veepers02.budlight.com/service/RetrieveCard?id=DAA70FC8-4FEF-11D8-A901-B3EE4054966E
I know everyone's feeling kind of deflated by yesterday's performance, but look on the bright side, we're still 2nd in the league, and for 45 minutes we were better than MDM, who until we played them we figured must be a shit hot team. They are, and we were better than them. We created more scoring chances, even in the second half we created the better scoring chances while we weren't playing very well.

Even when we stopped functioning as a team, it still took a penalty for them to score past us. We don't need to fear them any more, this season or next. It's looking less likely that we'll finish 2nd in the league now, but it's still perfectly possible and even if we don't it's still been an incredible season. Plenty of chances left, so lets pick ourselves up and get stuck in again.

One thing to think about is the psychology of a game and how it went yesterday. We've certainly reacted better to conceding goals before and I guess we all remember our 9 match winning run as being easier than it actually was (2-1 against Vodafone, 1-0 against TVS, 1-0 against Hampstead Norreys, 1-0 against NTS...) What you say and how you say it out on the pitch can have a real effect, especially after we've conceded or after we've scored, they're very sensitive times. It took us too long to recover from the goal and it cost us, cos if we'd equalised we'd have run on and won it I'm positive. Saying "Well played" (or something similar) has an amazing effect - boosting our team and also beating down the opposition - unfortunately having a go at ourselves also has an amazing effect in the opposite direction. I was just as guilty as anyone yesterday, but we need key players to take responsibility at that point and start lifting people vocally, Crabbeman was the only one I heard yesterday trying to encourage people, everyone else was either quiet or moaning (including me). Another day and we could have conceded those two goals and still got 3 points out of that game, so there's nothing to be ashamed of at all, only to look forward to the next game against them knowing that we're more than capable of matching them.

Friday, January 23, 2004

Why? Not available?
Are you still at work Mr & Mrs Punctuation? What's the squad for Sunday?
No; worries)
I won't. Don't put question marks at the end of statements?
ALL CHANGE! WE'RE NOW PLAYING MDM AT HOME - SO MEET AT 9:45AM AT NORTHCROFT.
10am Henwick on Sunday for those who weren't there last night - bring your money for Browny too if you want to come to Jongleurs on 6th Feb. £8 per person, birds welcome. Tracy is our leader...

Thursday, January 22, 2004

2 Carling Cup Semi-final tickets going cheap by the way...
WELL DONE THE TAYLOR FAMILY!!!!!!! CONGRATS TO YOU ALL.
John Now the've downgraded pot to a class C doesn't mean you can smoke it, eat it, do whatever you fucking did to have a dream like that!! Very strange!!!!
Congats smurfy and family, another 22 inch smurf!! So many jokes!
Fuck it! (im not writing the result like matt, it hurts too much!).
I must admit I have strange dreams like that sometimes, but I'm never sh*t in mine? Anyhow, your still a weirdo.

Well done Smurf (and Smurf Jnr) (Oh, and ya missus I suppose).... Glad to hear it was born during the week! Two ft does sound rather big? You'll have to teach it to run before it can walk, will get in the team quicker.

Bolton 5 - 2 Villa... Fuck it.
felt compelled to do a quick bit of pre-work, early morning blogging (that meant something very different when i was 14...!)

Basically, I had this really long dream about training last night...We were at Park House School (or whatever it is called) training, but there were a load of TV's around and we were all watching Villa vs Bolton instead of training. Shane got pissed off because we were all watching telly, so said that people could fifnsh watching the match, then come outside and train, or people could come outside and train now. Half went outside to train, and shane then said that those who had come out straight away would be alowed to go and watch the final, which for some reason was due to start straight after th other match.

Eventuaally everyone came out, and we were doind what Paul kept telling me was brazillian training, basically hoofing the ball to shane and Ghengis, who then hoofed the ball back again (surely ghengis thought that training up...) Someone then asked why we were doing it, so Shane explained that, while indoor taining was great for our touch, passing etc., we didnt get to practise on our crossing. Then Johnny Lamb turned up, dont know where he had been, and we were chatting about CD's and stuff, then he led a mini revolt to took haklf off us off to do shooting practise in this 5-a-side goal which was in the middle of the field. After that, everyone got together again and played a 5-a-side game, then we all went up into the bar and started watching the football!!

And That was it. You were still shit, Matt.

Dont forget my game tonight Browny, from tomorrow ill be charging rent of £1 per day...

Congrats again Smurf, but, well Im no expert on kids, but isnt 2 foot BIG for a kid? I mean, that must have hurt to fu*k...
Oops almost forgot im still available for sunday
Hi boys the boy was born at 15.06 weighing 8lb 8oz he is 22 inches tall (just under 2 foot tall) already! he is perfect him and mrs sound we were all aloud home same night and i am CHUFFED TO FUCK

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

What a result for Colchester! 2-0 down, bring on the man, the myth, the legend who is Scotty McGlish, one hat trick later and we are officially one of the best two teams in the south. In the 2nd and 3rd divisions. Hopefully we can beat southend, then I can go to Wembley/Cardiff for the third time with the U's.

Whilst we are talking about the LDV, Beeny...what the fu*k is going on with your boys?? 4-0 to Southend? Thats sh*t!

In The Team are Bastards. Lets have a word with that guy from Cold Ash (Blackwood or something?) Im sure he can get them sorted out...

Text me on thursday to remind me about the money Browny.

Im off to highbury on sat to see the real Arsenal play Middlesbrough, so I get to watch a striker who does 6 stepovers and actually gets somewhere.
Gents.

A new addition to the Shefford FC squad.

Paul Robert Taylor was born at 3:10pm today, weighing in at 8lb 3oz and being his father's son, when the midwife slapped him he slapped her back.

Don't think that'll ever change mate, the only thing you could hope for is that no f*cker's really interested in this one so there'll be less people there!
I'm not sure to be honest? I know we're going pretty early this time, cause we had problems parking at the Chelsea game and ended up paying a fiver and not being able to get out the car park for about an hour after the game.
If he can score an FA Cup winning goal given the sh*te he was as a player, Northern Ireland will win the next world cup (they qualify for) given what he'll b able to achieve as a sh*te manager.

What time are you leaving to get up to Villa Interesting Park next Tuesday?
Yeah I've just been reading that, and some how knew that when I logged on here you'd have posted something!! And I was right!

Mickey Mouse manager to take charge of a Mickey Mouse team.
Lawrie Sanchez football genius! Reading's loss is Northern Ireland's new boss...
You can't ask for your money back either apparently. Some of the boro fans were dressed as scientists - anyone know what that was all about? Do they even know what a scientist is in Middlesborough? They'll be dressing as people with jobs next.
Well Shane as They say you can't pay to watch quality!!!!!!
I think he thought he was. He kept trying this fake backheel thing, like Waddle used to do, but he just looked like he was the front of a pantomime horse. My whinnies didn't go down well with the other members of the Highbury Library. Loudest tutting I've ever heard.
No doubt the ARSEnal boys will have some come back about how they were robbed and if it was utd they would have had 5 pens etc etc etc.... Didn't see the game.

Rumors are that Alan Pardew is sniffing around Parky as his No. 2 after sacking his current one. Probably just media hype? Would be the end of Colchester. I personally hope he doesn't go there...

I would have e-mailed her that very quote Paul. But she backed up exactly what you said by going home ill yesterday.... Apparently (her words) She was all bunged up.... And didn't bother coming in today either.

Your c-tax is going towards peoples sick pay, who take days off with a running nose... Write in and complain. All of ya.

Some of the money goes to people that waste time on message boards, but thats ok. At least I'm here.
Went all the way up to Highbury last night. Sat there, did not get to sing, shout, clap, jump or throw anything. Watched some bloke called Quincy do ten stepovers and then realise he'd actually gone nowhere and the defender was still stood in front of him, so he panicked and gave the ball away. 6 times.

I see Colchester won their LDV Semi-final on a silver goal. Way to make the competition sound cheap...

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Shane My good man You've got a pacey left back! Colin, Even brownie is pretty quick over two yards!!!
I know! Just as we'd all got used to it too. Fuckers. Still, hopefully I can keep going with the league tables and sutff and just put them up on here. I've emailed them some abuse, but they won't care. If I was good enough to programme stuff I'd do something like it myself. Could make a bit of money out of it doh!

I am in the Clock End tonight yes. Bring on dodgy keepers, I reckon if he's playing tonight then Lehman's gonna get red carded. I'll be hanging around after the game as well to tap up Ashley Cole, cos I need a pacey left back...
Wankers - Just read the web site notice.
yeah it was £8 Matt, if anyone get some money to me for Thursday that would be even better.

Im sure Arsenal will still do the business tonight, even with an understrength team, I will keep an eye out for you mate. I take it you are in the Clock End - Arsenal crowd rather than Borough.
I think it was £8 each - usually £16 but half price during Feb.

I think it'll be a tight game, they've obviously had their nightmares this season, losing to Post Office, but so have we, losing to Partick, and at this stage in the season everyone is starting to be where they should be in the table, so we're both jockeying for position. I'm looking forward to it, we know it'll be tough, but we knew that about TVS and Vodafone. Shefford don't run away.

Watch out for me on telly tonight boys, if Boro score or if it's a nervy finish I'm just gonna start slapping myself on the forehead until the cameras pick it up and I get on screen.
Good to see the team morale is getting fired up for Sunday already.... Just wanna point out that I wasn't trying to "Big up" (Browny style, init) the Mdm rapid forwards!! Was just merely passing on what I've been told!!

One of the birds I work with is an Mdm 'fan', and goes every week, she seems to think there gunna stuff us? Slag... She's been going on and on... So I'm desperate to send her home sulking... And... I will be pretty much sober this week, got a family meal on Saturday night so won't be drinking the usual amount!! I'll have to behave to a certain extent.

TVS lost 4-0 to Cold Ash at the weekend, we've shown we can score against them. And have scored almost half the goals they've conceded this year, so TVS should be worried about playing us...

Was Jongulars £8 each? Or £16? I'll try and remember on Thursday to get it done.
Early morning blogging Mr Brown. Get some sleep.

Trophy actually goes back on the 1st Feb, so Jongleurs becomes a "We've Handed The Trophy Back Party". Can't see any problem with that. Lets try not to break any tables this time.

Remind everybody on Thursday night about bringing the money on Sunday Browny, I'll bring mine and Julie's on Thursday to get it out the way, but make sure you make a note of who's paid cos otherwise it'll get messy and I don't want you out of pocket. You might start phoning me up trying to sell me an IT person.

Got any 18 year olds?
Ahmen to that MR sills, We have been excellent all season, I think that everyone in our league when we came up was expecting us to struggle, but we have shown how far we have come over the past two years. A credit to everyone and expecially our GAFFA Mr Bellamy who has been a awesome. (Thats not just coz I want to get in the team, it takes hard work to get a place, and anyone who is playing well deserves it.)
I really do think that training at Park house indoors has helped us so much, espceically with fitness and quickness on the ball with 2 touch.

We have still got a lot to do, but I think we can go the rest of the season unbeaten. we have already exceeded all of our expectations and we have done ourseleves proud and put Shefford on the map.

So lets finish this year on a high, get pissed on the 6th at Jongleurs and thats all we can ask.

As for Jongleurs, I need to get money from people on Sunday. Anyone who doesn't give it to me, can't go because it needs to be done on Monday, as we won't get the booking because there are som many of us.

Monday, January 19, 2004

Was just about to come on here to defend the Arsenal, but I dont need to as Browny said it all!!

As for the next three matches, we know that when we play our best we can beat anyone, and we can match any team in any area of the pitch, regardless if they have rapid strikers or not!
Tell you what lads if shane's motivational speach about last season doesn't start a fire in your belly and inspire you to try 25% more than we already do, then might as well give up now, I know how good we are! You know how good we are, Every game as it comes!!!!! Lets give it our all and more for the rest of the season and lets not make last season a one hit wonder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME ON THE SHEFFORD!!!! Oh shane Three quick defenders and ME!! Cheeky Barstard
Yep, you and Tony both struck lucky on that one.

But it's all just a little piece of history repeating itself as we head into 3 games that will shape the season, MDM, MDM, TVS are our next 3 matches, assuming they're on. 3 wins will virtually guarantee us 2nd place. 3 losses will virtually guarantee 2nd place being unachievable.

We faced this very same situation last season and we all know how we did, we pulled it out of the bag again and again, no matter what anyone threw at us. And they threw plenty, we just threw it back faster, harder and better.

So, we'll just have more of the same and we'll all be sitting pretty.

Browny what's the story with Jongleurs - no one gave you any money did they?
I dunno - blowjob.
I have to say, it was a bit contraversal. but hey the same thing happened to us against Leeds a few years ago and no -one battered an eye lid.

Fair play to the referee who after the game had an interview on Sky Sports to say that he asked Henry if he wanted a qucik free kick or wait, Henry said quick and thats it.

He said the same thing to the Villa players but they opted for 10 yards. Case solved.

All that matters is the best team are top of the tree, unbeaten all season so far, and still in all 3 cup competitions, can't get much better than that.

AFC Wimbledon lost 2-1 in the 4th round of the FA Vase on Saturday, and there was trouble after the game involving players, managers and fans!
Julie was not happy during the game yesterday. I suggest any Arsenal fans have something in mind to do next Sunday morning other than play footy, cos we all know who really picks the team...
Next Sunday, there will be a minutes silence for the death of the gentleman's game of football at 2:28 yesterday.
A cold blooded murder, witnessed by thousands at Villa Park and around the country through the medium of television, a spokesman for the Chief of Police said "Never in the history of football, has such a calous crime taken place. We are working very hard to identify the suspect, although it appears he is going under the pseudo nym of wa**er in the black".
An independant witness was quoted "He should be ashamed of himself. Nowhere in the referees charter does it say to offer advice during free kicks and that was never a penalty. All cheating cockneys should apologise profusely to their Villa counterparts and hang their heads in shame"
Nope no news. Smurf was getting txt messages on Sunday morning giving him grief for being at the footy while Ann was at home suffering - "all because Shane hasn't got a team..." Seemed a bit harsh. So we agreed that if the game was called off then he'd go home and say that we talked it over and both agreed that it was best if he didn't play and just went home. Earn us both some brownie points.

We've got a super duper striker, and to be fair Rob is also doing a superb job up front as well, and Neil's not exactly the easiest guy to defend against, so f*ck MDM and their bar table-busting squad, we've got some pretty rapid defenders too, and Beeny. MDM are obviously a strong team, but Post Office did them 4-1, so they're far from invincible. We're 2nd by rights, not by luck or weird maths, so let's draw the curtain and let Rob and Dave do their thang.

Oh, the midfield are quite good too, didn't really get a mention there did they.

I was sat on a table behind the WKD manager on Saturday night, said hello to him (and his wife) and then 10 minutes later he asked if I used to play footy for him. Cheek of it. No mate, but I can teach you how to be a manager if you like...
Yeah it did seem pretty weird not having a game. But I suppose we've done well to get this far into the season without having games called off. What makes it even more annoying is Dave was speaking to there manager at Henwick (went to watch a game there instead) and he said the pitch wasn't that bad, half was fine cause the sun was on it, and the rest would have been ok once people had ran on it for a bit? Nevermind.

Two of there players will be banned for the replay... One got a six month ban !! Got sent off one week for fighting, and sent off the following week for throwing the ball at the ref!!

The other 38 days for fighting.

VF v's MDM was called off on Friday apparently, Jacko's doing, even though there were other games there ??

I was chatting the MDM's manager, he reckons they've signed some super duper striker.... "He's pretty rapid" as he kept saying.

He ain't met the iron curtain...!

Any news on Smurf Junior?
Great game yesterday lads, another good performance and we deserved the points.

Sorry, force of habit.

Found myself taking a stroll up to pitch at Shefford yesterday and wandering around in a dream-like state shouting "Well done Dave!" "Leave it Hilly!" and "No, Browny NO!!!"

As a completely neutral viewer, I thought the referee in the Villa v Arsenal game yesterday put in one of the worst refereeing displays I've seen in a long time, he may as well have just shouted "I've got a £10 bet on Arsenal to win" at the start of the game.

"Free kick here Thierry, sir, er, he's not looking mate, quick..." Terrible. Was still happier to see the Arse win to knock the reds off the top of the table, but at least do it with goals you've earned. And no, you didn't earn the penalty.

Sunday, January 18, 2004

What the hell...quarter past 11 on a sunday morning, and Im at home! Disgraceful...

Friday, January 16, 2004

Steal your pussy? What are you on about?
Ow my f*cking wrist...
Right pay up you fookers...

Adam £5.00
Beeny £26.00
Chris B £6.50
Colin £10.00
Dave C £20.00
Dave L £10.00
Genghis £14.00
Hilly £22.50
Dave F £2.00
John L £8.00
John S £13.00
Matt £12.00
Neil £20.00
Paul £12.00
Rob £13.00
Shane £5.00
Smurf £15.00
Tony £10.00
You bastard, and you tried to steal my cat.

Ignore those money amounts below, I've just found some more matches in my book... Ah ha hahahahahahaaaaa....
Not a good move fouling the manager when I'm trying to get in the team but I've got to reduce the squad numbers somehow! (Worked with Dave Frew last week!)
Here's the list of what people owe for match fees, gotta say it's really good, nobody owes more than a tenner, which makes it easier on everyone cos I don't feel like such a git asking for it. And I know that people only really owe cos there were games where I never asked for it - if I don't have anywhere decent to make a note of who's paid me, I'd rather leave it so I don't get confused. But this aint too bad, so it shows that I'm a little more organised this season and most of you turn up with the dosh on you. For next season, unless pitch fees or ref fees change, we'll just keep it exactly the same. We don't need to make any money for the club, not exactly after a new stand at the Fortress, though if a miracle does happen and we do finish 2nd this season, there's been talk of a statue being put up in Shefford. Won't be the first time a bird's crapped all over me, but will be the first time I didn't have to pay for it.

Adam £0
Beeny £10
Chris B £4.50
Colin £10
Dave C £5
Dave L £0
Genghis £0 (Club owes £18)
Hilly £7.50
Dave F £0
John L £0
John S £0
Matt £0
Neil £5
Paul £7
Rob £3
Shane £0
Smurf £5
Tony £0

From my reckoning, we'v only got Partick, MDM, NTS and TVS at home to go, so that's a maximum of £20 for the rest of the season. Bet we'll still be playing evening games in June...
Morning all,

I have an extremely sore wrist because of John Lamb. I feel like Megan.

For those who didn't hear or weren't there - 9.30am meet at Vicky Park on Sunday. I'll try and let you know as early as possible if the game is called off, but I think it's not supposed to be too wet between now and kick off, so I'm 99% sure it'll be on. A little down on squad this week, but that's never stopped us beating anyone...

Thursday, January 15, 2004

http://home.comcast.net/~lifey/224helicopter_kills.mpeg

Takes a while to download, but blimey - it's a video of some US soldiers using a nightscope and a big big big machine gun blowing some alleged Al Qaeda guys to pieces. Nice. Enjoy it Gary.
He's a great player though.
Reaction? You'll be provoking the police!!

Havent had a chance to long at it yet... I did wonder why you put 'morning Gary' first thing, but after my M Jackson palava there was no way I was going to comment!

I bet (Dave) Garys annoyed then, all those thousands of people that read the sport in the NWN... And they think Gary Lewis is scoring all our goals!
Just trying to provoke a reaction. Anyone see the NWN today? They wrote about "goal machine Gary Lewis..." That's certainly not what I wrote. They also missed out "Smurf" and just put "goalkeeper Taylor" but they did get my "gale-force winds and a stormy Shefford attack" which was worthy of a Pulitzer Prize.

Newbury College should be paying for the kit soon so the manufacturer will get the jackets printed and then we'll have them sent through. Cool. Hopefully not too much longer.
You're a sick man!!
What's the best thing about having sex with twenty-nine year olds?

There's twenty of them!
Vodafone play MDM on Sunday, be nice to see a draw in that result eh?
Morning Gary.
Agreed that you scored two corkers at the weekend Jonny, certainly can't and won't even try to take that away from you.... But that doesnt turn back time.... That miss was still piss poor!! And we still have heckling rights!!

I'm available for the 6th Feb, sounds good, I've been wanting to go there for ages. Does the comedy club turn into Bar Riza, while your in there? Or do you have to pay again to go into the bar/club after?

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

I wont be at training tomorrow (tonight...) Shane, im in swansea all day so wont be back in reading until late. The one week I could turn up and not be heckled about my shooting....
Browny, im not doubting you, but have you seen the flyers i gave crabbeman? It def says £16 per ticket, 2-4-1 until 29th February...
You coming on Thursday? We can sort out times and costs and stuff then.
It doesn't say anything about that mate, i've got a feeling that's for Bar Risa not jongleurs. There are four comedians on that night and its cheaper than normal, it's usually £20 quid. So spread the word. Its a wicked night, I went for Christmas party last year and it really good.

Should be a good night all round and you can all crash at our house, which is just stumbling distance from Jongleurs, or you can all get a taxi or train home.

If your interested let me know and bring £15 pounds with you on sunday.

TA
We have WKD away. Will you be there for that? Didn't know they did cocktails at Northcroft. Very la-de-da.
Hello everyone!!!
Good result on Sunday.
Hope you are all ok, I am currently pissed out of my head sat by the pool drinking lots of cocktails.
Who do we have on Sunday?
Nice one Browny. What about the 2-for-1 offer though? Is that included or does that not apply...?
Im trying to sort out trip to Jongleurs, it costs £15 pounds each and need an idea on how many numbers we have got for the 6th Februaury in Reading.

If peeps can get some cash to me this weekend then I will try and book it on Monday.

Anyone else notice the eerie coincidence from Sunday's result?

The date was 11/01...

Bring on this Sunday's game!
Well without realising it I was there for Seaman's last professional game. Didn't even see him injure himself, just saw him rubbing his shoulder and then walking off. I wonder if he'll come down to the Fortress for my last game? And pay £29 for the privilege. Will he fuck... Calls himself a legend, he hasn't met Crabbeman yet.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Think you've got a dead cert for a tenner there john!!
Im closing in on Matt for the highest scoring midfielder crown, I havent had a bet with him this season though, betting is a mugs game. I have got a tenner on the swindon vs colchester match on saturday with Hilly though. Colchester are currently 1-0 up against Accrington Stanley, a goal from Joey Keith on 11 mins. The County Groud Massif should be shaking in their collective farmer wellington boots...
Cant make 6th feb should be ok for sunday gaffer
Right then you hold the crown, I hold my head in shame!
Mr Green I think you'll find that Mr Curtis has scored from the right back position so far this season. Hold on I'll just check your goals per game stat... That'll be 0.00 for and 0.10 against then.
Ok Whatever stato!!!! But Lets get this its about 0000.00000021 per game for the iron curtain with only one us scoring from defence!! so try and beat that.
Phew, cos we were looking a bit stretched. Now we can look a bit stretched with Lamby running the line...

Dave Lewis is on 29 goals this season, a staggering 1.84 goals per game. Rob is next highest scorer on 8, with Matt as highest scoring midfielder on 5.

Hilly has 1. There.

Dave Frew tops the MOTM list in terms of Points Per Game (won't tell you who's top of the overall scores cos then you'll all fix your scores) with 12.3, though it's only over 3 and a bit games, so we'll have to see how he does on Sunday when he steps into Tony's boots and joins the Iron Curtain.
I'm available Sunday! I'm away on the 1st of Feb though.
Fuck off hilly you didn't even see it dam your so slow you were still stood there waiting for the Corner to cfome across at hal time!!! John don't count your coats before they hatch or something like that plenty more goals from you i hope!!!!
that being, my 3-goal-of-the-season-contenders coat
ill get my coat...
You are from now on.
not to worry Paul, i know exactly how you're feeling, ive been there many a time, sitting in a corner, shaking, crying out 'why god why?', waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, stopping strangers in the street trying to find the answer to finishing from 3 yards, going back to the pitch in the middle of the night to relive the incident until i score...Im on my own, aren't I...
apparantly it hit the ball from Chris Waddles 1990 penalty, which is still in orbit, and that was what sent it back towards shelbyville...
Good shout, that one really caught the wind, I didn't think it was coming back.
I wouldnt dare mention the cross to rob. However, I may mention the pre-january 11th me-like shot from 3 yards which went rocketing over the bar and far into the field behind the goal...
Careful Mr C - Mr Sills may decide to scrutinise your cross to Rob and make us all wonder whether that was intentional or not...

Personally I know it was.
highbury is a great stadium, great to watch the football there becasue you are so close to the players. Atmosphere/chanting sometimes leaves a lot to be desired though. It will be interesting to see what the team is.

Hopefully it will be a mix of the youngsters and people like edu etc. After my strieks on sunday, ive has arsene on the phone asking me to go for a trial, but i have turned him down. Henry is no dave lewis.
You lucky bastard mate, how come you going to that??
Just have to say thanks beenie, but im sure I would have put 75% of them either wide over the bar or straight in to the keepers arms, all credit to Monsieur Lewis, as he does the business every week.

fank you very much. must admit am quite looking forward to being back at Highbury, last time I was there Arsenal got whipped 6-1 (or 6-2?) by Utd, which was not a pleasure to see, but if the same scoreline happens next week it'll be interesting...

Also got to be almost the last person in the stand as all the loyal gooners walked out in disgust. But my old man, a Utd fan, was quite keen on staying around. Dons won that night beating Spurs 2-1 at White Hart Lane. Back in the day...
To gedt to fortress Highbury, get the train to paddington, the circle line to Kings Cross, and the Piccadilly Line from there to...ARSENAL! You'll come outon the corner of the North Bank and the East Stand, sobasically in the opposite corner from where you want to be, but to get the best feel for the stadium/atmosphere (carling cup...) etc., walk left out the station along the North Bank, past all the people in there gardens selling fake shirts, past the programme seller on the left (old man, grey hair, little red stool with wheels on to sell rogrammes, been there 30 years, first one you come to) then go right at the fish and chip shop (£1.30 - cheeseburger and chips)and walk along the hallowed west stand, past the entrance to the marble halls and the entrance to the clock end is at the end of the west stand, top of the road.
Let me know if you know any different, but I think the squad for Sunday is:-

Smurf
Beeny
Hilly
Dave F
Genghis
Matt
Dave C
John S
Browny
Dave L
Rob
Shane

Is that right? Paul, John L, Neil, Tony all out? Smurfy is it worth us having Nigel on standby in case you don't appear? Would rather keep me as a sub than have no subs at all...
Sillsy/Browny, what's the best way to get to Highbury then? I was figuring I'd get the train from Reading, into Paddington, the get the tube, but where to? I'm gonna be in the Clock End, close enough to lob pies at the Boro fans apparently. But any advice on quickest, easiest route is much appreciated...

Personally I preferred the 2nd one as well, as I could see you meant it. Not that you didn't mean the 1st one of course, I just think you meant to score but didn't necessarily know that you were going to put it on the perfect trajectory, but for the 2nd you meant to twat it into the top corner and that's what you did. Must have been a very satisfying goal to score, and to share MOTM with someone who just scored 5 goals is no mean achievement.

For Sunday's game, WKD only went down 2-1 against Vodafone on Sunday, so they may not be as easy as we might remember...

Monday, January 12, 2004

Ah John Sills Waiting till the last blog of the day to post your boast, and worth while me thinks, you should boast more best player on the pitch by far sunday??(oh yea apart from dave having five easy tap ins that the keeper handed to him on a plate, even brownie could've scored them!!! Anyhow Great result from all and the perfect performance, thought thats the best we've played so far!
Thought I shouldnt boast too much, makes it seem like it was an amazing fluke, rather than me showing my true skill and flair, and shooting ability, which shall now be under the microscope for the remaining 7 (SEVEN, thats all the games we have left. Thats just depressing.) games.

However, I should say I thought the second one was better, as I flicked it up and volloyed it home into the top corner, rather then just hitting it at the perfect trajectory (anyone else hear Paul going on about that at half time?!) and setting us on the way to a record victory.

And Genghis, it did look like i was making tackles etc., but actually I was slipping over on the boggy pitch and landing on my ass, handily into the path of the ball.

Im not going to the league cup semi, but I am going to the F.A. Cup semi. Why you ask?

Jongleurs is indeed 2-4-1 until the end of february, so if we are going we have to go before that. Bloody people on bloody holidays. You should bloody cancel them to see the trophy off.

Got tomorrow off work, so Im off to get Pis*ed, in an Atkins-style
Nope, his little hands were only big enough for one of them...
I notice you use the term ball instead of balls, is this why you walk funny?
Never mind mate, is er, is Megan still going to come along? I can guarantee I'll take good care of her...

Turns out John Sills has literally just been in Jongleurs and it's buy one get one free on tickets thru Feb.

Let's have a chat about it on Thursday night and see whether people would rather go ahead and do this thing or wait for a night when Paul and John are there.

I remember missing a goal now, you're right I was snatching a little boy from a back garden after he'd grabbed my ball.
Shane (Or should I call you Mr Jackson) you didn't see Rob's 2nd I think you were picking up a little kid out of someone else's garden. It was Dave down the right and then Rob was free back post for a tap in.

Can't make 6th either, I'm in France snowboarding. Don't know if that beats the Indian Ocean - There won't be any ladies in bikinis where I will be!
Any of the Arsenal boys going to the League Cup semi-final next week?
I'll be in the Indian Ocean the following week. Beat that.
I remember Dave Lewis's opener, he latched onto SMurf's kick. Hooray.
Oh yeah, and if we think we're good with 9 on the bounce, spare a thought for AFC Wimbledon who drew on Saturday, bringing and end to a winning spree of 32 matches in league and cup. 32! How p*ssed off can you be with a 2-2 draw?
Damn, you were my only hope, you normally remember those things. Ah well, I'll just have to write it up anyway.
I can't think of any others.... I think there might have been a goal or two before mine. And I'm pretty sure Hillys was towards the end of the half? So there would have been a few before his somewhere?
Help me out with the goals in my post below lads - I can't remember the order or how they went in. I know I'm missing Rob's second goal and Dave's first two.

Mobile Streams are bottom of Div 2. Quite glad about that, never really did like them as a bunch of lads. Ha.
Help me out here -

Goal 1 = Johns Sills from 20 yards

Goal 2 = Rob from a header

Goal 3 = Matt Atkins round the keeper

Goal 4 = Hilly from a corner

Goal 5 = John Sills from 20 yards again

Goal 6 = ?

Goal 7 = ?

Goal 8 = ?

Goal 9 = Dave Lewis through the keeper's legs

Goal 10 = Dave Lewis from the right hand side into the corner

Goal 11 = Dave Lewis after the keeper's blunder
To earn money....

Your only saying that cause your want free chips every day!
If by 11 wins, you mean 10, then you'd be right - yesterday was only (only!) our 9th straight win. But what a win it was, apart from Cold Ash we now have the best goal difference in the league, and if by weird karma their next game is postponed and we pull out another win against WKD, we go top! I know we won't finish top and will have to really earn it to finish 2nd, but it'd be nice to see the league table with Shefford ahead of the group.

Let's not forget we still have to face TVS again, who could have easily beaten us if 2 of their good chances had gone in and not been spectacularly saved like they were, and face MDM again twice who have drawn with Cold Ash, and face Partick again who got their biggest result of the season against us way back when. So there's at least 4 tough games to go which could shape where we end up in this messed up division.

Also, an 11-1 victory is a Shefford record in the Newbury District Football League. We had a 16-0 win once but it was against a team of 7 men and was wiped off the record when they folded the week later, so our best victory amazingly comes in Div 1 and not Div 2.

Johnny Lamb tables seem to come out all over the place during the week, but the official ones are Thursday in the NWN. Tony usually txts me with other results on a Monday so I can update the tables on our website (which are accurate) later today. Cold Ash v MDM was cancelled yesterday cos of the weather, so MDM stay on the same points but have an extra game in hand. It's all tight so we just need to keep moving on.

Finally, we were brilliant yesterday, to pull off some of the footy we played in those conditions defies any argument you can raise about the weather being responsible for the result. To score 8 in one half could have people saying that it was down to the weather, but then to only concede 1 when that same weather (and even stronger winds) was blowing against us shows what quality we produced throughout the game. Lovely to get double figures, I can't wait to get stuck into this write-up...
I think next week we're playing for 10 straight wins? Think we're only on nine at the moment.

John Sills scores two blinders and he doesn't go on Blogger straight after the game to boast about it? The boy must be ill. When does the table get up dated, do we have to wait for the NWN to come out?

Friday, January 09, 2004

Right Lads Have a goodweekend and lets go out on sunday and play football for ninety minutes instead of being a second half football team!!!! See you all sunday.(this means you matt)!!!
I do. I shall pay up Sunday. Thank you for reminding me in the middle of January, the most skint month in the entire year. Have things really got that bad?
Shane don't you still owe me my Norris McWeter pint?
Cold Ash play MDM on Sunday, so that makes it even more important that we get a result away to Shelbyville. Arrive switched on and don't switch off til Monday morning when you get back to work...
I only missed this one weeks payment, im paid up for everything else actually Matthew. Well training that is. As for match fees I think i owe a few bob.

I'm glad you asked me that. I have just put in the final, amended order, as our numbers have changed slightly since the last order went in, so they should be with us within weeks. Means Dave, Hilly and Colin can finally breathe in properly in their tops.
Hmm... Dunno? I'll get Adam to invoice him, was him that won the money I think...

I think Daves past invoicing Brownie for training fees, next step hit-man.

Any news on the new items of kit and training tops?
Okay fair enough if you didn't see the email, but yes, you are a plank, and that's very unlike you.

Did Sillsy ever pay up his £1 for the "Who's Wayne?" game? Bloody student.
Ok... In my defence I just wanna say that I hadn't seen that last e-mail from you yesterday.... But even so.... I still feel a right plank for not getting it!

Thursday, January 08, 2004

Right. So M Jackson, interested in finding out about sweaty young boys? M Jackson. Little boys. Little boys. M Jackson. M Jackson inquiring about little boys. Don't think I'll be replying to the message...

KNow what? I'm really looking forward to training tonight. Bring on sweaty floors and trying to get out of the way of Dave's shots.

Yeah...

You only had to give him Ghengo's no. and tell him that he looks after the kids.

Was just wondering if it was a genuine one or a fake.... I mean, if Jim Wild can post a message, anyone can.
So you want me to reply to a person called M Jackson who was asking about where and when our youth squad trains right?
If I ask who M Jackson is thats signed our Guestbook will it cost me another quid?

If not, have you replied to him?
Yeah - just normal training. Unless Mikes taking it? In which case we'll just stand around not having a clue what were doing....
Does he mean everyone charging around without a clue what they're doing?
Yeah John....!

I saw Dave last night and he said it was training as normal....
MDM have a game in hand on us and are 1 point behind, but we have to play them twice yet so that's still in our hands. TVS have a game in hand on us but are 4 points behind and we have to play them once more so that's still more than in our hands. Vodafone have 2 games in hand but are 6 points behind (but do have a better goal difference) but one of those games is against Cold Ash and also they might lose 3 points and have to play us again depending on the appeal decision, so I think we're in a stronger position than Mr January Lamb feels.

As Beeny says, all we can do is go into every game left knowing that we're capable of beating anyone as long as we give 100% throughout, then let everyone else worry about us. Plus, if you'd told us we'd finish 6th at the start of the season we'd have celebrated, so being worried about losing out on 2nd place isn't a bad place to be right now. I'm just happy to look at the table lots and sing!

That said, Shalbourne put 4 past Falkland in the cup on Sunday - they still lost, but they're obviously capable of scoring a few.

Dave Lewis any news on training tonight? Is it on? Don't fancy going outside in this weather!
Well Done John, All We've Got to think about is the games ahead of us, We,ve got to keep winning. That's all that matters, can't worry about teams with games in hand and the teams below, just stick to our games.
Don't ruin the moment John....
You been on the Babysham again Mr Sills?

Just been looking at the table and we're no better placed than Banks were last season with most people having games in hand over us. Don't mean to be pessimistic but I thought we were comfortably second the way everyone was talking.

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Eh, I ere Madchester is Buzzin at the moment, know what i mean like, mad, sorted, nice one.
What the...?

I'm going to watch the game Mike, nothing more, nothing less.
Kiss my bad self. Anyone seen where Shalbourne is? It's fucking miles away! Reading boys had better get a hotel for the night before.

Today I shall be chasing up the Berks & Bucks regarding our appeal from the Vodafone game at the start of the season. Last I heard was over a month ago now so I'm going to chase them up.

Off to watch Pompey v Man City on Saturday, in the away end with the Manc lads, just brushing up on my Oasis lyrics so I can talk the talk, know what I mean?
You sure it wasnt Jackson that told you himself, that day you were both caught lurking around the school gates?

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Eh-up, lets stop discussing my finishing...mainly bacause I cant make excuses for it. Well, I mean the ball does seem to always bobble as I hit it...Ok, I've had enough of missing, Im not going to have any more crap misses this season now...(only really top quality misses from now on!)

And be warned, to prove you all wrong Im going to score a 35-yard screamer on Sunday, even if it means shooting EVERY time I get the ball. Shelbourne better have good ball-boys.
To be fair, probably only Hilly and Genghis will remember this, not sure whether Crabbeman etc had joined by then, but way back up on the pitch at Shefford I latched on to a through ball and neatly took the ball around the keeper. Their defenders were screaming that I'd been offside but the ref didn't give it. I was no more than 2 yards away from the goal and happily guided the ball wide. So that goes to show, even players with international potential can have their moments...
John L there's a space available in centre mid for someone who can finish...

Monday, January 05, 2004

Great story about Mark Jobson's goal. I'll be telling that one at the pub tonight. Especially seeing as the scorelines were different. And it was essentially a different team.

You'll all be delighted to hear that I can make training on Thursday as my training in London (with Arsenal, they've been scouting me) has been cancelled. I'll be working on my shooting, then...
Great result at the weekend, I'm told it was a comfortable win even though we got the last two goals near the end. Can't wait to get back to playing again, usual time Thursday for training?

I remember Mark Jobson's goal he aimed it for the penalty spot and the wind carried it in!
NTS were supposed to be playing Vodafone, that was the only other game. I think their pitch must be susceptible to water cos they seem way down on the league games they've played. I'll have to check out the NWN on Thursday for the completely up to date league table, but so far we're rightly in second place gents. Though every single game from now on becomes amazingly important, you saw how tough it was on Sunday against the bottom team, it doesn't come any easier. Good fun eh?

I'll check Vodafone's website to see if they've put a result up on there, but I guess they just didn't play.
H Norreys 2 - 2 WKD

Shal 2 - 6 Partick

TVS 2 - 3 Cold Ash

I dunno if there were any other games or not?
Incidentally, for those of you too new to us to realise what happened yesterday, here's a little story...

2 seasons ago (maybe 3, but I think it was 2) we were becoming quite a decent Div 2 side, vying to finish 6th in the league, and came up against Post Office Reserves who were floundering at the bottom of the division, being thrashed most weeks. We played them at Henwick, on the pitch that we played on yesterday and we had a very frustrating game of not scoring goals, before we finally won 1-0 after a goal direct from a corner from Mark Jobson, scored from the very same corner that Matt scored from yesterday. Spooky.

I know we went on to win 3-0 yesterday but that just shows how we've improved, to beating their first team reasonably comfortably.

Just thought I'd share that with you. Shut up.
Nice patient and consistent performance - everybody knew that only 3 points were good enough against Post Office, but everyone stuck to their game, even after we scored.

One of the best points of note was that early in the first half there was lots of space up the right hand side, and the whole team realised it and did something about it, which shows that our awareness as a team is coming along nicely, last season I'd have had to have screamed for it to happen to make it happen and the season before I'd have had to have screamed and it still wouldn't have happened - yesterday everybody just did it themselves and did it successfully, opened up a whole new avenue of attack for us, great to watch.

Next Sunday we are away to Shalbourne, which is interesting cos they've been our biggest test out of all the teams we've beaten. They even dared to score against us, take the lead against us twice and make us have to rely on Paul Curtis to get us back in the game. Again.

Then the week after that we're at home to Partick, who we owe big time.

8 straight wins? 2nd in the league, what the bloody hell's going on here?

Friday, January 02, 2004

Does anyone live anywhere near Sandleford? Reason I ask is that the ref (Winston Romanowski) needs a lift to the game on Sunday!!!

If anyone can do this, give us a shout and I'll give you his number so you can contact him direct.

Sunday footy...

Thursday, January 01, 2004

The story for Sunday's game is we are playing at Henwick against Post Office. It is our home game though, they've changed our venue for this week only as they don't have the staff on duty to open the changing rooms at the Fortress. Probably some government thing to try and knock us off our winning run. Post Office are second from bottom in the league but pulled off a massive 4-1 win over a full strength MDM in their last game, so we can't go in anything but fully switched on, especially considering we had a close result against them ourselves not so long ago.

Julie says Happy New Year, I guess I do too. Ended up in a sleeping bag in front of the fire at The Halfway last night at about 4am. Bit like camping.