Was that the one where he fell over in the box and bundled the ball over the line?

Matt, are you lot staying in reading for a saturday night out...?

Yeah, they're visiting a group of enthusiasts who dress up in medieval gear every weekend and go to a field in Somerset to re-enact Paul's first ever goal...

Depends, what stone age feature are they looking at this week?? - Paul?

So nobody's coming round to watch Time Team at mine then?

Na a few of os are going the Reading way to watch the big match of the day at the Mad Stad thou...

Any of you lot coming down reading way to watch the Arsenal United Semi on saturday...?

Yeah definitely. Sadly the only confirmed friendly we have at the moment is against bloody Partick, who put more league goals past us than Cold Ash. The fookers. However, Hilly's saying that Brimpton want to play us and he knows a team in Reading who also want to play us, and I guess I should really contact the Monument boys too.

It's a COOOOOOoooooorrrrrrnnnnneeeeerrrrrrr...

That pretty much says it all, a few friendlies to get rid of the memory would be a good thing.....

6-3 loss, psycho ref, dead leg, Uwe Rossler-style shot, not a good day all round...

My back is still fooked, resting it in the hope it'll be ok for Sunday.

Providing you come under Thatcham (varies quite a lot).

Band C - £1023.65
Band D - £1151.60

If thats what you meant. Don't feel bad about paying it thou mate, I'll personally ensure that I have a good time on it, and that includes plenty of lap dances in Blackpool.

So should Gale mate, 3 nippers is enough surely... Think we should start calling her the new virgin Mary.

Now that I think about it, that was my first training session in almost a month last night. That explains why I'm walking like I sh*t meself this morning...

Right, as it is, Partick cannot catch us. However Vodafone can. However again, they play TVS and MDM yet and then TVS and MDM play each other and then I think one of them play Cold Ash, so basically I can't work out whether that's in our favour or not. If Vodafone drop points against TVS or MDM then that means they probably won't catch us so even if we lose against Partick we'll still come 4th. If MDM really stuff up then we may get 3rd, but that might mean that they stuff up against Vodafone so they might catch us. Aspirin anyone?

Basically, lets have a good game against Partick and the rest can suck the big one.

I'll be staying around. So there we go.

That's exactly what I'm saying, but yes I've taken into account the fact that Cold Ash may have had players out, been taking it easy, been knackered, had one bad game this season, that sort of thing. But even if all that had been true and we'd played them and lost just 3-2 it would have given us a big boost of confidence so we'll need to beat that out of them like we did with MDM. I reckon WKD have us to thank for their win on Sunday cos we outplayed MDM for long periods in their last game so they'll have been feeling a bit vulnerable and allowed that to become a reality.

Footy psychology. Henry to score first and 1-1 final result - 20-1!!! Get my tenner on it.

Is everyone gonna be staying around (wherever we end up) to watch Man U v Arse on Sunday? Title decider?

unless youre saying its bad as they nearly beat coldash...who would have been on a come down from the cup semi anyway...

Why is it bad news that partick lost...? surely thats good for us as now they cant mathematically catch us...?

MDM lost to WKD. That's the good news.

Bad news is Partick lost, but only 3-2, to Cold Ash. Bring it on.

And Matty will probably end up going home with a bird with one eye...

I heard Stevie Tab's bringing another member of the Futurama cast...

Cool, Futurama sounds good, where is it? Is Fry coming?

Who's Furama? Is she a Japanese beauty with a host of giggling Japanese schoolgirls ready to entertain us for the evening?

Went to the madejski for the first time this weekend, and shamefully I went there to watch rugby. Makes you realise how good the internationals are when you see how shit the others are, one guy took a penalty and it didnt even reach the posts. Another went to catch the ball, missed it, turned round and fell over his feet and onto his arse...

Ok, how about April 17th for our End of Season Extravaganza? Ill call Furama tonight to ask about having the upstairs to ourselves, not sure they'll be able to on a saturday night though. How many of us do you reckon they'll be? At "12.95 for an all you can eat buffet, you cant go wrong...

AFC Wimbledon's league cup semi final last week was abandoned during extra time because of crowd trouble. But the good news is that at the ground (Bromley FC) you could buy cans of lager from the bar and take them out with you to watch the game...

Probably haven't heard of them cos they're top of their league. You've heard of Arsenal...?

AFC Who?

What's the story with this champ man thing and AFC Dons? You can pick them as your favourite team but that's it. You can't play as the team. Don't fucking patronise me...

Who needs champ man when you can play four against three in a sports hall. Best entertainment I've had in ages, honest!

Just installing my free copy of Champ Man 4 that I got given at my meeting with Eidos on Wednesday... Will probably play for an hour or so and then nip out to the pub for lunch...

Ya fooker. That's impedement.

Been there done that got the T-shirt......................................................and the itches.

He's an energetic bloke to go round twice to get fooked!

I heard you were nipping around to see Brownies bird Smurf.... To get fooked....

I heard you were nipping around to see Brownies bird Smurf.... To get fooked....

Cant make training..................... cant be fooked.

Can't make training either... My back is fooked.

Sorry, it's the only joke I could remember! Not as if he made it up anyway.

Gutted, the first time in weeks they get the table right and we've dropped to bloody 2nd place!!!

Ah well. If you look down it shows that Partick shouldn't really be an issue for us but Vodafone are hovering around looking hungry for 4th place. We could still come 3rd but it's unlikely. We need to grab 3 points off Partick to virtually guarantee 4th place but also to make us feel much better about ourselves.

Might not make training tonight, I have to go to a lecture on Ocean Cruising. Oh yes. No you can't all come with me. But I'll see you next Thursday as there's no game this weekend.

You can't rob a joke off Chris Moyles in the morning and then use them on us! You have to wait a few days at least!

How do you sink an Irish submarine?

Knock on the hatch.

>>Mick was in court for a double murder and the judge said, "You are
>>>charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner."
>>>
>>>A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You b*stard!"
>>>
>>>The judge continued, "You are also charged with beating your
>>>daughter to death with a spanner."
>>>
>>>Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You
>>>f***ing b*stard!!!"
>>>
>>>The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the courtroom,
>>>and said, "Paddy, I can understand your anger and frustration at
>>>this crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from
>>>you or I shall charge you with contempt! Now what is the problem?"
>>>
>>>Paddy, at the back of the court stood up and responded, "For
>>>fifteen years I lived next door to that b*stard. And every time I
>>>asked to borrow a f***ing spanner, he said he didn't have one!"

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border
>>>checkpoint.
>>>
>>>Paddy the officer stops them and tells them: "It is illegal to put
>>>5 people in a Quattro, Quattro means four".
>>>
>>>"Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the Englishmen
>>>retorts disbelievingly. "Look at the papers: this car is designed
>>>to carry five persons."
>>>
>>>"You can not pull that one on me," replies Paddy "Quattro means
>>>four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore
>>>breaking the law."
>>>
>>>The Englishmen replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor
>>>over I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!"
>>>
>>>"Sorry," responds Paddy, "Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat
>>>Uno."

As it's St. Patrick's Day:

Paddy the Irishman died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly so
>>>the morgue needed someone to identify the body. His two best
>>>friends, Seamus and Sean (also Irishmen), were sent for.
>>>
>>>Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus
>>>said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over".
>>>
>>>So the mortician rolled him over. Seamus looked and said "Nope, it
>>>ain't Paddy".
>>>
>>>The mortician thought that was rather strange and then he brought
>>>Sean in to identify the body. Sean took a look at him and said,
>>>"Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over".
>>>
>>>The mortician rolled him over and Sean looked down and said,"No,
>>>it ain't Paddy".
>>>
>>>The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"
>>>
>>>Sean said, "Well, Paddy had two a*seholes."
>>>
>>>"What, he had two a*seholes???" said the mortician.
>>>
>>>"Yup, everyone knew he had two arseholes. Every time we went into
>>>town, folks would say, "Here comes Paddy with them two
>>>a*seholes...."

I heard that goalkeepers are great managerial quality

You?

I heard last night that John is willing to stay providing he is offered the assistant managers post? Obviously i don't want to start rumors thou.

Ha ha your old...I mean Happy Birthday.

John now you've tried your hand at a proper job, I'm surprised you wanna go back to farmer land and become a shit shoveler? And you can't go... Cause that'll reduce the shower club down to 5... And your the only one that brings shower gel.

No, if you notice I didn't even make a 'funny' about Megan in my last post persuading John to stay. The truth is that Megan plays no part in my thought process on account of her being a girl and this being footy. John Lamb has invested a lot of sweat, tears, muscles and time in this football club and to change seems like the actions of a lunatic madman who's having a bad day, has eaten some strange fungus and drunk white spirits to wash the taste away - not wishing to bias the decision at all. Still, you have to appreciate that he's got a new life to settle into and may want to make friends with people who have no class, culture or ethics and play for a team with them instead.

It's my birthday today.

Anyone think Shaner has ulterior motives for wanting Johnny Lamb....*CoughMeganCough*...

It's a bit premature talking about me leaving now as I have to find a job and house first. However, with the massive break before next season I'm hoping to be settled across there before september. I'll wait until the start of next season before I make any decisions about which team I play for. (Does that sound like I'm trying to negotiate better wages or what!)

Man City 4 - 1 Man Yoo
Saints 2 - 0 Liverpool

Dunno, but the fixture list shows that MDM have to play Cold Ash AND TVS before the end of the season. 2 points dropped yesterday, but it was still a hell of a game and to keep them to one freak goal and no other clear chances in that first half against the wind shows how 'well' we played. They are strong defensively so to get a goal against the wind was also a big achievement.

The fact that we should really have won it says it all, we don't need to fear any team in this division next season and can give it everything we have.

Don't go Lamby, stay and play with us, Bristol teams are just bunches of thugs who nick your car and talk funny and drink cider with pickled onions in. All that effort, all that history, you're just going to throw all that away? And I don't mean to sound selfish here, but what about me? What am I supposed to do next season without my right midfielder? I know I have the squad to cope but it just won't be the same. What about if I let you play for free? Just don't tell anyone.

Does anyone know any of the other results yet?

Two games left. Nothing to win. Nothing to lose. Let's relax, enjoy the game and rub their faces in the stoney dirt of Henwick Worthy.

Sorry to my team, I sucked last night at training, never felt so unfit, couldn't control, pass or shoot. I wonder if it's cos I ran the line last week?

Say we are top of the league, say we are top of the league! Say we are.... you get the idea

Trouble in the Board Room at Old Trafford, questions are being asked as to how come Man U are limited to one domestic competition when Leicester are still in Europe...

I know the NWN doesn't show it, but we are officially top of the league! Again. We're on 36 points, Cold Ash are on 35, TVS on 34 and MDM are on 32 I think or something like that. They all have games in hand on us but what the fuck we're top of the league...

Shooting practise....thats old news Smurfy, remember the two against Shelbourne? That one on sunday didnt have any trouble going in either...

Training tops look good, really makes your hair look different Shaner

Yea go down vicky park and have some shooting practice on your own sillsy

A canoe you say? Interesting....maybe ill go flash someone in Vicky Park instead.

Go busking in northbrook street

Hire a Canoe.

Oh, and what can I do in newbury for three hours? In a couple of weeks time im gonna be visiting the Newbury HSBC on a thursday afternoon, seems pointless coming back to reading again...!

Not Christian Ziege or Jan Molby Plebecites....its Paul Stewart...Obviously...

Wasn't the answer last time Christian Ziegre (or however you spell his name)

arsenal v man u

Haven't we had this question before? Can't remember who the answer was, didn't think it was Molby, but can't remember who.

Was pleased with yesterday's game in the end. Sorry to have a moan at half-time, but it would have been a crying shame to have let all the hard work of the season go to waste by dropping points against a team like that. I knew that once we got ahead they wouldn't really cause us much concern - and you could see that when we equalised so quickly that their stuffing was knocked out of them. I made the subs at half time because I didn't want to get into a situation where we were running out of time to score and getting frustrated, have to say I think it worked, but the bad thing is you never know whether we'd have fared the same in the second half if I'd left things as they were. As it is, we're top of the league! 2 games to play! Bloody hell!

I know we won't stay top, but at least we're not 7th saying that if a couple of results had gone our way we could have been 6th...

Going to get the training tops on Thursday morning, so anyone who can get to training (which Mikey and I are thinking about for when there's lots of people there so it doesn't get silly) will be able to collect theirs then. Cool.

Jan Molby.

Who is the only player to have played in north east, london, amnchester, and merseyside derbies, and to have scored in an fa cup final in the last 15 years...?

Answers, well, on the blogger...

Thought todays game turned out really well. We were shit first half, long balls, spending to long on the ball, all over the place defensively (the whole team, not just defence)...But....

Second half I thought we were fantastic, didnt look like conceding, but looked like scoring everytime we had the ball. We were pasing it around well, doing nice touches and turns and triangle passing things, crossing the ball in well, defending and attacking as a team, and basically, i thought, scaring the shit out of them, they looked like they thought we were gonna score every time we got the ball as well.

So, player 18, lost 6, won 12...bring on Partick, we owe them big time....

Cheers mate, will do

10am against WKD... It's in Frilsham or somewhere?? You'll need to contact Shane to find out exactly mate, cos i haven't a clue!

Can someone please tell me where and when on Sunday?

The NWN still isn't showing the NTS game, which means it has us 3 points and 5 goals down. This means we are in fact still 2nd and have important goal difference advantage over Partick, who are our main threat to finishing 4th, which is looking likely to be our final position assuming we don't throw it away now.

We still need to play MDM, but whether we win or lose they still have enough games in hand on us to catch and pass us. TVS also have enough games in hand to do the same and we don't play them again, so that would put us in 4th position. Partick and Vodafone could potentially then catch us, but if I'm right then Partick should only really be able to put themselves on the same points as us if they beat us and we have quite a significant goal difference advantage over them. You never know, cos they may get a big score against someone, like, let's say 11-1 (woohoo) but we should be able to hold our own and stick to 4th. It would require quite a shock result or two for us to stay in 2nd place or even finish 3rd, but we've had 2nd place for a damn fine chunk of the season so there's no shame in losing out to two teams who we pretty much matched kick for kick during the games, beat one of them and had disappointing losses in the other two games, especially when TVS would have been pretty much hoping to clinch promotion easily this season. We're shit hot. Basically.

Chris can you drive tonight and I'll drive Sunday? How's the car?

Im sticking with the original game, football manager 2005 here i come...

Seems that most people in the industry agree with you - but Eidos are still ploughing on with it so they must feel they have something decent to offer. I don't play any of the management sim games anyway, I've got you lot to piss about with. This week I'm having fun trying to negotiate a deal with Ferguson for Dave Frew as a utility player. "No Al," as I call him, "he can play anywhere, I'm telling you. Stick him on the left to replace Giggs or at centreback to cover for that toilet cubicle white line tooting no mobile phone answering syringe heating pill popping piss hiding clearance skewing fuckwit Ferdinand. Dave Frew can cover pretty much most of that, and his clearances are even better."

Think it'll be better to stick with the game, i assume the 'other side' have to create a whole new game, that'll be difficult to create a new game to compete against the rest of the market.

Looked at the link John, which way are you gonna swing? You gonna stick with the code and go for Football Manager or stick with the name and go for Champ Man? Tough decisions.

Did you notice in the top left hand corner of that site there's and AFC Wimbledon player who looks remarkably like Browny?

Did he put the washing machine on? See that shit spin!!!!!!

IT WAS FOOKIN IMPEDEMENT!!!

Well, seeing as noone commented on it, ill do it again...

The new champ man...

http://www.sportsinteractive.co.uk/softography.php?type=view&id=16

Apparently it was done onto the rubber seal that sits almost up against the glass when the door is shut. You can see the workings of the virtually-comatose mind though, in a kitchen thinking it was a bathroom, what's the thing that most resembles a toilet? Aha! This thing has a circular loo-seat thing that opens up to reveal a dark hole... And if the room was spinning enough anyway who's he to argue about whether the whole is facing upwards or not?

Great result between VF and Partick, really helps us out that one. Amazing to see NTS holding TVS to 2-1 as well, shame we lost to them in the style we did, that should have been another point to us at least, maybe even 3. And with MDM narrowly beating Shalbourne, just shows that we've still got everything to play for.

Cold Ash 5 -1 Post Office
Partick 2-2 VF
NTS 1-2 TVS
MDM 3-1 Shalbourne

The Mighty Shefford 5-2 Hampstead N

Certainly so, they had some great spells of intense pressure at times, right inside our box. Frewy showed that contrary to squad rumour he can punch his way out of a paper bag after all. Some monster kicks as well in the second half, dunno why he doesn't take the ground kicks too with a hoof like that on him. Suffice to say Dave, at some point I'd really like to give you a starting place at centre back, that being where you kind of wanted to play when you joined us. You're quickly taking on the Paul Curtis mantle of playing every position, as I believe the only player to have achieved that so far is me, and I'm the manager so I'll play where I bloody well like thank you very much. But, if I get this right, you've done up front, maybe done midfield? Done centre back and done goalie, not bad for one season. You got man of the match the game you played centre back didn't you? That's ironic.

Mate of mine at work, his mate got pissed up on Saturday night and pissed on his kitchen floor and crapped in his washing machine. No point to this story, just for info really.

Id like te echo the same sentiment, its great to see that Neil is back and playing again. He came on the pitch yesterday and to see he hasn't touched a ball this year, he looked like he had never been away. All credit to him.
Its good to have you back mate.

Good performance yesterday lads, as they a professional one. we did what was necessary to get the three points, just bring on sunday.

Just a shame that we can't play Cold Ash, cos i think we would give them a real good go, and they way we are playing at the moment, could even win.

Also big up to Dave Frew, who I thought yesterday was excellent in Goal, one day he may get to play at the back. Put he pulled some great saves (PUNCHES) and kept us in the game at some points.

MC Harvey has left AFC Wimbledon and signed for Lewes instead cos he wasn't getting any games. Apparently there were no hard feelings. You might be big in your very solid gang mate but you're nuffink down here...

3-1? That's rubbish. No way should they be able to be promoted and not us. Ah well.

New kit and rain jackets delivered by the end of the week, so they say...

MDM Beat Shalbourne 3-1. Shame would have been handy if they lost this week, but at least we kept up the pressure with our win.

p.s. 100% agree with the comments about Neil, and that's in no detriment to Rob who has slipped into the role of striker as though he was born to it and knows exactly who his daddy is. I suppose it's fortunate that Rob is off to Oz after this season finishes, releasing me from any further striker-choice dilemmas. Rather he was staying though, cos he's been a quality player and I know I can outdrink him. What more do you want in a squad member?

That's IMPEDEMENT!!!

Cheeky.

Was thinking about yesterday's game and the more I thought about it the more impressed I was. For the first 15 minutes they really came out hard and are a strong side going forward. Last time we only just scraped past them 1-0 but after the first 10 minutes of the second half yesterday we were cruising. It was a nice, patient display, we rode out the storm and then you could literally see us starting to make headway up the pitch before Matty scored. Then when we conceded again we kept our heads up well and just got on with it, no shouting, no moaning, just back to the game, trying to get it together. Slowly but surely it came together and if you think about the number of quality balls that Matty put in throughout both halves, just a little more luck on the run of the ball and we could have had another double figures game. Dave Lewis as well, particularly in the second half seemed to refuse to believe their left back existed, just kept running round him, through him and over him, to set Matty up 3 times! Course he only netted 2 of them.

But one of the best things was in midfield and from defence to midfield, if a player had got into a tight situation, or had a ball which was coming in quite difficult to control, I saw a lot of little touches, little knock off's to people with more space/time and then sometimes some movement knowing that they'd soon need to release the ball too - just to relieve the pressure, work the ball away and clear the danger. It was straight from the 2 touch training we've been doing and it was great to see.

Norreys are not a bad team by any stretch of the imagination and we put in what felt like an average display, but I think that's cos they didn't push enough to put in anything more. Altogether it shows why we'er in the position we are in the league, even if we don't finish there, we've held 2nd place for long enough for it not to be a fluke. I wouldn't hold your breath for promotion this season cos you just never know what's going to happen over the Summer, but anything above second bottom was a successful season, so we have, if anything, bettered what we achieved last season. They just don't do trophies for that.