Ah, that's interesting, considering the 16th is a Saturday! Maybe we'll need a re-think, or we could just meet up at the usual time, do the usual thing, and pretend we won in the morning....

We've got to do something, it's Christmas!

Matthew one small problem i have just come across:

Sunday 16th December 2006 Division 2

Berkshire Arms v Bucklebury
Coopers v Shalbourne
LMP V Q Associates
Paggies Bar v Meadway


Anyone missing from that list???

Sunday 17th Dec - Bring you boots Sillsy, you might get a game...

Hee hee... I really am a funny man.

Hardly classic games on the 17th though -

Sunday, 17 December 2006

Everton v Chelsea, 13:30
West Ham v Man Utd, 16:00

Well Hilly, that depends very much on what your interpretation of 'Xmas Bash' is.

When is it, by the way? If I am going to come, it has to be on the His and Hers calendar well in advance...

Thanks for pointing that out Smiler. Are you coming to the Xmas bash Sillsy?.....hope so.

A typo... Just to get things clear - You used the words Hilly and gayer in the same sentence.

No other games were played in our league at the weekend, so that puts us 9 points clear over the Post Office, and we've played a game more.

Was that a typo Matty? Or are you suggesting the NHS are going to make Hilly a gayer?

'Get you on the bend ASAP?'

Great performance on sunday boys. A well scrapped out 3 points.

Right. We need to get all this outstanding money into Smurf asap as he's owed a bucket load at the moment and its coming upto the wrong time of year to be this much out of pocket. So please bring any outstanding money you owe to training on thursday night and i'll give it to smurf on sunday along with the money i already have. Hopefully then his kids will get their action man and barbie dolls they want!

Nick (Wayne's Goalkeeping friend) £3
JT £4.50
Tony £4.50
Hilly £3
Chris Miller £9
Gareth £12
Matt £4.50
Dave Screw £4.50
Crabbman £11
Ben £4.50
Macca £14.50
Lewis £4.50
Wayne £6
Miller £9
Crookie £22.50
Sillsy £10
Beenie £33
Neil Curtis £31.50

If You can let anyone know who doesn't read this how much they owe and to bring it on thursday then that would be much appreciated. Anyone that will see Crookie, Beenie or Neil if they can chase them up then im sure smurf would be very grateful as they owe the club nearly £90. Cheers lads.

That's not very good news... Must be all that muscle your legs have to carry. Very frustrating for you as you say, at your age you obviously want to get all the games in you can.

Is the doctor sending you for physio? Hopefully that'll get you on the bend asap.

Well done at the weekend lads. I'm going to be unavailable for a few weeks as the doc says I need some physio on my knee. I played in a BT game last week and was in a lot of pain at the end, it seems to get worse each game so need to get it sorted although it is very frustrating not playing. Before any smart remarks are made, no it has nothing to do with my age!

You boys are really flying, keep it going through Christmas and you're in with a real chance. One game at a time though.

Playing two at once is really hard, I've tried it. Luckily, I was on the bench for both.

Got good numbers for Thursday?

Consider it done John. Need to be there for 6.30pm again.

We won 4-2 yesterday, beat Berkshire Arms - who seem to think they were good during the build up to the game, but we infact battered them pretty much from start to finish. We just couldn't put the ball in th net!

Lewis was in goal! Superb perfomance.

I never used the word 'Hero'...

I'd love to come, put my name down please, anything to be lined up against those fine fellows...

Training at 'The Prison' next Thursday (30th), so those people that aren't playing Sunday, but are intending coming training on Thursday, please let me know so I can make sure Screw has you on his list.

I guess this is mainly aimed at the 4 goal 'hero'..... Zzzzz, Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

It's a shame that he's dead, probably up there with Roy Castle now, watching records being broken to the sound of a softly played Trumpet...

Tut... Nice one Hilly.

He is apparently dead, I heard someone talking about him on the radio the other day, they said he died in 2004 - but that doesn't mean he wasn't watching....

Damn you Hilly!

The record was six days, but you had to go and ruin it. We've been colluding for weeks to arrange this record attempt. Norris Mcwhirter was watching and everything.



Is he dead?

5 days since the last blog, is this a new record?

Like one of your shots Mr Sills, without meaning it you've hit the nail on the head.

We've got Meadway this week and we know not to expect an easy win but it should be an easy win. But after that we've only got LMP at some point in the future and every other team we play should be as good as Paggies or better.

What we've seen is, without knowing it, the easy part of the season. We can't complain with what we've done with that easy part as we've not dropped a point and that's pretty much all you could have asked for without getting a bit anal about it all. But now we're heading into the uphill section of the season, tough game after tough game right through to the end. Gonna be interesting!

Good job lads, keep it going...

Updated league table. Some excellent results going our way this week.

1 Berkshire Arms v Paggies Bar 1

14 Blue Ball v Coopers Arms 1

2 LMP v Shefford 8

3 Q Associates v Meadway 0

2 Waggon & Horses v Bucklebury 5

Berkshire Arms only managing a draw with Paggies which is brilliant. Waggon & Horses losing to Bucklebury which is also good and Q Associates only putting 3 past Meadway (although that might suggest that Meadway have improved from the dross that they put out against us)

I also noticed that on the league table they have online they're showing Blue Ball as having lost one extra game than I had them down as. Turns out something occured when they were due to play Waggon & Horses last Sunday (5th Nov) and the match was awarded to Waggon & Horses.

That's good news because, as we've witnessed, Blue Ball can be very good going forwards (putting 14 past Coopers) but now they're on the same number of games as us but 11 points behind. If we can take some points from our league games with them then it should put us in a really strong position.

All means that our next game against Berks Arms is all-important in keeping our momentum going. We're now clearly the team that everybody is going to want to beat.

Give those tomatoes time to really fester...

Your never catch us at your age.

Post your gig list on here Paul, and we'll see if we can make any others.

Just sent a text round - sorry but I have to cancel training tonight cos I can't get there and I've got all the equipment. May as well just have a 'week off' and head into the LMP game feeling a little fresher, especially after the mammoth effort last week against Newbury PO.

Back on next Thursday though.

Hairy, but firm.

They're more likely to look you up because of your hairy buttocks.

I'm just saying.

Nope, just saying that you thought I would mention the goals I scored on Blogger, whereas I didn't at all. Mostly through fear of a con leaving jail, searching for 'Shefford' on the internet and finding me out...

Did you score then?

Are you trying to say your too good for our league then? !

Last time I played in that division, we were top of the league as well...

I hope you've appreciated the fact that I haven't mentioned my goal glut from Thursday night.

It's probably for the best Sillsy, now we're top of the league we don't want to ruin it by playing you.... as a ringer.

I can't make Saturday night I'm afraid, already got something on - typical. I am actually slightly gutted, not only because I would have had 'side-stage' passes and would have met 'the band', but also because I've now wasted twelve quid on tomatoes.

We will definitely come to a gig one day soon Paul, you'll have to post us your fixture list.

Arrange a lunch time gig on Sunday 17th December and we'll start our Xmas piss up with a bit of moshin'.

Sorry Matty, I'm not actually signed on so therefore if the 'real' me did get out of the bed, I'd also be the 'ringer' me, and I'm usuless in goal. Still, a game's a game!

Anything new in the Shefford empire?

Hello mate - we were going to come along, but a few people have had to pull out, including the Atster himself, so at the moment we're a little unsure whether there's enough of us to make it worth it.

If we don't make this one, we'll definitely be along to one sooner or later.

Yeah I'll speak to Wayne tonight. Smurfy have you got any spare signing on forms? We might need to fill it in 'by proxy' rather than try and piss about getting the form off you, to him, back to you, etc. Be a shame if we don't have that Meadway game on the 19th as that would have been a good chance to give the new keeper 45 minutes (or a whole game) so everyone could get used to each other before the Berks Arms game.

Maybe Meadway away is the draw that Blue Ball had in the Vic French and they've already allowed us back in? (That was a joke by the way, I reckon Blue Ball will sort their finances out and even if not someone else will just get a by in the next round rather than us being allowed back into it... and even if not we'll just lose in the final again, that seems to be my destiny)

But yeah if you speak to the fixtures guy about the Meadway game and I'll try and get a number so you can talk to the keeper and fill out a form for him.

It's a plan.

At worst, Lewis in goal with Wayne and Miller up front. It's not a bad worse case scenario is it and Lewis even brought it up himself on Sunday!

If he's not signed on in time, maybe 'John Ringer Sills' could make his first appearance this year, in goal...

Assuming the 'real' John Sills doesn't decided to get out of bed...

19th November Berkshire Arms are in The Vic French Cup and we are down to play Meadway away,strange as we have already played them away,enquiries will be made.
Shane we will need to move fast if we are going to get this keeper signed on in time to play against LPM.

p.s. Smurfy I thought you said we had Meadway on the 19th. Best double check before we all get excited about trying to move the Berks Arms fixture.

And so that we can set people's minds right early on, even if we end up playing Berks Arms on the 26th, with a stand in goalie, we should still be looking to turn them over. Not having hangovers and nervous goalkeepers as an excuse, whoever goes in goal might gift them 4 goals and we should still be looking at taking the points, that's the level we need to set ourselves at.

Yeah I tried the whole charity event thing before when we missed the first game of the season due to being in Blackpool and they couldn't give a toss. Something about charity not being a valid excuse unless it helps bring little orphan boys into the region.

Might be stronger to suggest that it's better to get games out of the way in case the weather turns bad and we have to postpone fixtures cos of frozen pitches and stuff.

Plus it might be a Berks & Bucks Cup week and if Berks Arms are still in it we're fucked anyway.

Turns out this Norwegian has reacted a little nervously to actually having to play a a game in goal so I've asked Wayne to contact his matey to see if he can do it if we do play on the 26th.

Smurfy, if he can come along it might be worth starting him against LMP but being ready to whip him off if things start going against us. Gives him a chance to play behind the back four and get used to people...

Smurf another good one to use is say that one of the team is getting married so we will all be at the wedding!! so will struggle to field a team...

If you give them the whole bullshit - we might struggle to field a team on the 26th due a number of players taking part in a charity event etc, they might be more lenient!

I will be contacting fixtures secretary tonight to see if i can sort anything out

Interesting. Smurfy is it worth speaking to the fixtures secretary and seeing if we can bring that game forward?

I didn't even notice that it said 1st Division! Those were the days....

I've found a new web site with up to date fixtures, although the league table isn't up-dated yet. We don't have a game on the 19th Nov, and neither do Berkshire Arms.

It would be handy to move the game against them back a week, we'd have Smurf and fewer hangovers!

http://www.football.mitoo.co.uk/FixtResMonth.cfm?TblName=Matches&DivisionID=3659&LeagueCode=NDSFL2006&MonthNo=11

Latest league table showing the teams chasing us hard. Strange results again - maybe Bucklebury have got some of their decent players back, which can only work in our favour seeing as we've played them twice already and taken 6 points. Then like you say with Q Ass beating Hampstead Norreys (not the best team in Div One but quite difficult to score against) it shows that we've still got plenty of hard games in store.

We're only 3 points ahead and games in hand mean nothing unless you win them.

How old is that soccer weekend thing Matt? It's got us in Div 1!

Nice cold evening training at Henwick this week, we'll have to keep moving...

Meadway 0 - 6 P.O. Rev's
Coopers Arms 2 - 8 Berkshire Arms
Shalbourne 2 - 1 Bucklebury
Lmp 3 - 3 Paggies Bar

Berks & Bucks

Q Ass 2 - 1 Hampstead Norreys

...and Norreys aren't an easy team to beat.

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It was good wasn't it. Though the amount of swearing and stamping I was doing on the touchline suggests that we can play even better than that - but I think a lot of the silly stuff was because people were so fired up, which is not necessarily a bad thing and something we can work on.

I've sent in a write-up but we'll see if they print it all cos I said about their dodgy substitutions, thought Tony might like reading that :-) I couldn't work anything in about cheating scum linesmen too old to be acting like that get a fucking life and grow up it's only a game you wanker. Figured they wouldn't print it.

Superb yesterday chaps,great display of battling well deserved we just need to take that attitude in to every game we play.
I fuc*ing love beating them cu*ts with there bat big mouthed twat of a manager.
LOVE IT !!!!

Well we need to think forward to the 23rd Nov cos I'll be sunning myself in the maldives and we either cancel training that night or someone else takes it.

Would rather someone else stepped up to take it. Seems a shame to take the foot off the gas at the moment. Plenty of people capable of it at the moment, the squad's in really good shape in terms of attitude and mixture of maturity/experience...

Yeah it was spot on last night, the circuit training was a good change. I'm looking forward to the 30th.

Quality training last night and great attitudes from everyone. YOU'RE MOTHER'S A SLAG. The circuit training is really good for everyone and improves your fitness at whatever stage of fitness you're already at. BREAK YOUR FUCKING NECK. Good to see that we were the better 5-a-side teams too. GONNA FUCK YOUR MUM.

And good practice for facing some of the mouthier teams in the league as well.

Haha "Macca one of the cons has asked me for a photo of you for his cell."

So how come as soon as we beat a team the league table changes to show that they were shit anyway???

First glance of the table looks superb, very happy with it, 6 out of 6, lots of goals scored, few goals conceded, everyone else dropping points.

Second glance not so good - the only teams we've played in the league are in the bottom half of the table. Gutted.

We're not allowed to take anything. We're even getting tops supplied for us (although i think there's a chance that there'll be no tops so we'll end up running around in "skins" while the cons take dibs on which one of us gets to stay the night...)

Please Please Please Some one take a fucking camera!!!

Fantastic - so they'll love a nippy quick cheeky Essex lad won't they?! Imagine what will happen if Crabbeman put's in one of his 'loosener' tackles...

It's okay Matty I've got gloves and I think that the match part of it all will be some 5-a-side matches against the cons and against each other so we can probably rotate keepers.

I'm a bit gutted that I'm going on holiday cos I'm feeling the fittest I've felt for some years at the moment but am avoiding playing in case of holiday-threatening injury. That said, if it weren't for the upcoming holiday I probably wouldn't be working so hard to get fit (better air consumption = longer/deeper dives).

The good thing is, that because we dive we don't tend to spend every night getting off our faces (diving + hangover = unpleasant and possible death) so over the two matches that I miss while I'm away, my fitness levels shouldn't drop too much. So when I get back I may well start pushing for a more regular spot on the bench or better.

But until then it's bring on the convicts. Sillsy (and this is no joke) - Dave The Screw explained that the cons he chooses to train with us and play against us are more likely to be the lifers as they're more settled into prison life. Great eh?

Both - starting off with circuit training in the gym, so you need some trainers, then we are playing 5v5 games out on the astro, so you need either the same trainers, or some astro boots for that.

Should be good for the fitness... Or a good start for yours Sillsy.

So what's the deal tomorrow? Is it a normal training session, or a match, or both?

Frew will be sad to hear we didn't invited him for a one of special. He'd have walked out squeeking like Johnny Lamb....

I have some keeper gloves Shane, do you want me to bring them tomorrow?

That's closer to having a Frew joke attached to it...

Let us not forget that Oscar Wilde was imprisoned in Reading Jail for two years for being Homosexual...


Put me down if you can Shaner, but I won't drive; I'll go to Crabbemans and walk with him from there.

I'm afraid Frew's petty scouser crimes would only make him a laughing stock up against the lifers we'll be coming up against tomorrow night.

Burglary, car theft and touching up young 'uns are nothing where we're heading. These guys get to the last mission of GTA just by looking at their PS2. And once they've completed it, in the end cut scene the main character bends over for them.

I am, however, thinking of texting around some "advice" for the new, younger players on how to act, what to say and what not to say when mixing with the cons. Reckon that could be fun.

I reckon we all agree to refer to Andy Miller only as "Mr Big" all night.