Sadly my goals:game ratio is now 1 goal in 1.2 games - still better than a certain striker playing Champions League football this season.

I'm not around on Sunday I'm up in Birmingham. The xmas period becomes a hectic time for me what with all the friends that I have. It's typical too cos I thought I might have a go at training properly and regularly to be a bit more of a useful sub option than some old guy who wheezes a lot and gets the odd tap in.

How come you've moved to Bracknell Mr Frew? Have you never been there before? I used to go there as a teenager when I lived in Woking, I remember some guy giving me and my mates a jar of amyl nitrate in the car park of the cinema one night after we'd been bowling - said "Here you are lad, enjoy yourselves." That was an interesting drive home. You look after yourself.