What is the world coming to? Peter Crouch to start up front in a fully competitive and downright crucial World Cup qualifying match?

Add that to the fact that the Communist Party appears to be guaranteeing the survival, growth and arguably the prosperity, of the automobile industry of Shanghai, but only for as long as the party rulers deem fit - after which the companies will be at the mercy of the global market and potentially unfit to compete with any credible bite, and you've got some major questions to ask yourself.

One of which is, as one of Crouch's harshest critics (and considering he's playing alongside the ineffective Owen), who else would I choose instead of both of them? It's not an easy question to answer at the moment, with other English striking 'talent' all bit-part players in the Premiership. Defoe and Bent? Too embarassing to pick more midfielders and stick some of them up front? Cole and Wright-Phillips? I don't envy him the decision at all.