You're certainly not unfit. And I think toward the middle of the season you were the fittest I've seen you. But you can be fitter. You need to rest that back though, but not next Saturday cos we'er a few players down and I need you.

You have the unfortunate afflication of an unfit face. That's not the insult that it appears to be. The condition is where your legs and lungs still have plenty left to give, but you just look completely fucked. John Lamb suffers from it from the 1st minute of any game, yet he can run for the entire match. I however, look like I have bags of energy, whereas they're all safely stored away in the loft somewhere.

However I intend to be fit for next season, as it's easier for me to lead by example in training - I don't mean to be the fittest, but if I'm pushing you lot to breaking point and I've already conked out 10 minutes ago it doesn't really seem fair.

Fitness and agility, so we'll all be flexible and able to keep it up all night. You'll thank me for it. Your girlfriends will thank me for it.