Sorry about the Alan thing - I was absolutely steaming down in Swanage (shouldn't have been, had to get up early the next day and help teach a Rescue Diver course with my own wife participating in it) but the Villa v Spurs game was quite entertaining and the Stella was going down far too well. Started to feel a bit funny.

Did you know that Robbie Keane and Roy Keane aren't even related? I had a revelation on Saturday night when my whole understanding of the game was called into question as I was convinced they were brothers. Used "Any Questions Answered" (text any question to 63336 and they'll give you the answer within a minute - costs a pound though I think - but often money well spent) to find out otherwise as I wouldn't believe anyone (everyone) who was telling me otherwise.

Then I got your text about some bloke who played for Partick and was gonna suggest that you text 63336 to find out, but then you'd have just thrown away a pound. They'd have come back with some sort of statistical evidence that he was most likely to be called "Dave" cos that's the highest percentage of male names in the South of England of people aged 18-35 or something like that.

They did, however, finally convince me that I was wrong and not the entire world that Roy and Robbie simply share a surname by coincidence and nothing more. Bizarre. So that just made me want to drink more. When the alarm went off on Sunday morning and I realised how much I'd drunk and what I had ahead of me, I felt like, well, like throwing up.

So apologies for the Alan thing - was kind of spinning by then...