Aw'right boiys? Jim ere, Jim Woild. Oi'm glad yoom aaaall enjoyed yooms Christmaaas night owt, but sum baaaastard put a pair o ripped up paaaants through moi letterbox at 4am and oi'm not haaaappy abowt it no. Big bugger's paaants too they were n oi likes little boys. Still, a good sniff or two and oi was feelin a bit better abowt things yes. Oi got the woif to sew em baaack together and now oi'm wearing em. Christmas come urrly so it 'as.

Merry Christmas Swan FC of Sheffurd, wherever yoom be.