Nice debut Neil, made me laugh. Well done for making the right decision though with your ankle, lets hope it clears up nicely.

As for Mr Curtis senior, once a muscle has gone to cramp it will be susceptible for a few days to cramping up again - especially after such a hot and humid day. It's lack of salt and fluid that does it, so you need to get as much water in you as possible - stupid amounts of water, til you can piss higher than your own head and be ready to go again in 5 minutes time. Also salty food, chips, peanuts, crisps, to restore your body salt. Lucosade Sport drinks and tonic water (apparently the quinnine helps) are good things to take. Keep stretching it out regularly and keep massaging it too. Warm baths and deep heat. I'd advise you to take the strapping off if you can bear it as this will be keeping the muscle condensed and you really need to stretch it out.

It's not unusual for a badly cramped up muscle to re-cramp or just generally ache or twinge for a couple of days afterwards, skip training (or just come and do gentle training) on Thursday and we'll maybe sit you out on Sunday as it's a cup game. But we can see nearer the time.

I'm sure there's nothing major wrong with it, maybe your body has worked so hard all your life to not get cramp that now it's decided to call in the debt. The worst thing, and pray this doesn't happen, is when it decides to cramp up while you're asleep and you wake up thinking you're being attacked by aliens. I'm not joking. Way back when I broke my leg up at Shefford, while it was healing it would keep cramping up and I'd be woken up by a loud CRACK noise as the bone pushed together cos the muscle around it was spasming, accompanied by the acute pain that comes with it.

Lucosade sport, salted peanuts, massage, stretching, warm baths and deep heat. There's your cure. And no chasing Lisa around the house when the kids have gone to bed...