Frew was at training this thursday Mr Sills, more that can be said of you.

Tony has a young abminera? I quite like them, in fact I like most of Nissan's cars.

If you're referring to the 7 year old girl that took something of a shine to him, then game on, do we know if he got out of the B&B without any tears?

Browny currently holds the trophy for the most drunk/hungover Blackpoolite, following on from Wayne's original benchmark and Nigel's attempt last year. Falling asleep against the sink, vomming at the Pleasure Beach (whilst getting soaked) and spending the rest of the day in bed is now the new level people have to aim for.

For your benefit Mr Sills, here's a brief synopsis of the weekend...

Friday about 2pm everyone bar me arrived to find The Gynway shut and no one home. Off to Dukes then for some good old fashioned shite tasting beer and pool and darts and farts. At this point I was just north of Birmingham. About 5pm the guys started making their way back to the Gynway looking for signs of life. At this point I was, still, just north of Birmingham. Queued all the way up to Manchester, on my own, interesting, hello.

I got there about 6.45pm ish, got some beer down me, got some chips down me, sorted out the B&B costs and then was introduced to Gob. Gob is a cute, financially aware and physically intimidating 7 year old girl. She does not like Nigel, who she proclaims is a gay, lesbian, ugly mosher. She's not over keen on Browny who she wonders openly how he can have a girlfriend when his nose sticks out like that. She does, however, like Tony. Tony is the reason she was born, she bought him sweets, waited at the bottom of the stairs to see him come down for Breakfast and stood in front of him, gazing upwards eagerly, whilst waiting for him to answer her question of "Will you go out with me?"

Cold shower later, we're all off into town, Linekers Bar, one decent bird and 75 blokes. Browny at this point decides to leave the script and wanders off to the shots bar with Crabbeman and Lewis, to return with 20 shot glasses, 2 for each player, which we proceeded to down, wince and grab our beers to take the minging taste away. Things start to go a little hazy from here.

Out from Linekers into Jelly (beneath the now closed Palace) where there were a few more women, but music by Peter Andre, etc. Dunno how long we stayed in there, but long enough for Browny to snap a photo of Crabbeman and Lewis looking particularly gay in pink cowboy hats, which Crabbeman then refused to give back to the lovely young lady he'd borrowed it from. By this point, we'd split into two groups, as some of us went off to look for a bar with better music/decor/clientele, etc... I don't know exactly who went and who stayed. We tried Sinless 2 quickly and it was a very poor sister (in my opinion) so we spent no more than 10 minutes in there, before moving on to various other bars, all with the same level of disappointment as they turned out to be rubbish - in one of them I felt too young to be in there.

(now what we hadn't realised at this point was that as we were swapping bars a lot, there was a lot of downing drinks so we could move on - Browny was helping everyone out downing their drinks if they were struggling, make a mental note of this)

Grub (25 minute wait for two cheeseburgers) - Nigel is first to blow. Browny follows on shortly afterwards. Taxi back to the Gynway, met up with the guys who had stayed in Jelly. Browny sits on the steps outside and carries on detoxifying... Who knows what time what happens after that, but Matt poured water over Browny, Janet locked him out thinking we were all in. Browny then phones people up to get them to let him in. He's not happy. He's not well either.

Bed, zonked out sleep. Wake up to learn how Browny had been sick all night, sat up against the sink in the room til gone 7am. Nice fry up (sans Browny) - then Pleasure Beach (avec Browny).

Big One, no problem, Browny even smiling after it, thinking he's got away with it. The Iron Bru double loop thingy sees Smurf come sprinting down the stairs afterwards. Became clear why when Browny followed him already retching. He finds a quiet nook in the PLeasure Beach and proceeds to detoxify further. The laws of the universe kick in and some kiddie's water-gun target game decides to show everyone how it works by giving a 15 second blast of water, duly drenching a very confused Browny while he's doing his thing. One of the funniest things I've ever seen - the look on his face as he popped up, dripping with water and chopped carrots and wondering where on earth all that water came from.

Browny continues to degenerate into a jaded sack of dehydration, until he finally takes everyone's advice and leaves the park. Genghis and Nigel go off to watch Newcastle v Rangers, the rest of us stay. Usual park malarky, then off to buy a tuppny-swerver (plastic footy) and a 5-a-side match on the beach. 5-4 really cos Browny was safely tucked up in bed in the pleasant 100 degree temperature of the top room at The Gynway.

I was awesome. Nigel showed the deftist touch with the swerver as he put in goal after goal. We then took a wander to the shoreline (about half a mile out), saw the colour and consistency of the sea, and wandered back again.

Shower, fish and chips, beers, coupla dodgy bars, though one next door to Sinless with some probably bi-sexual girls dancing and grabbing their own and each other's breasts. Quite entertaining. Sinless (to quote Cody "How come you're the only one I recognise?") (to quote me "bleh") coupla new girls, the cute-as-a-button Kirby and the suicide-blonde-but-unfortunate-stagename Beverley, who seemed to take a shine to Adam, the bastard.

Then some went to Heaven and Hell, some stayed a little longer at Sinless. Then I was not allowed to leave my seat for some reason as Adam and Genghis virtually jumped on me. I glanced round to see a seat on the stage next to the pole ominously pointing in our direction. Next thing I'm wearing a wig, make up and having ice cube's poured down my shirt and into the top of my jeans. Genghis's little surprise for me. God that ice was cold.

Eventually taxi back to the Gynway. It was their last night there so they wanted to drink the bar dry, but they were faced with a load of alcohol saturated and totally knackered Shefford players, so we did our best but I've seen better. I think Smurf held our flag by staying up til nearly 5am drinking with John the owner. But then Smurf was in Genghis's car on the way back so he was probably drinking each shot as if it was his last...

Genghis didn't make breakfast on the Sunday. Then everyone left. Some Geordie lads were staying in the B&B on Saturday night and one slept in the hall as his mate had brought some bird back. Nigel heard everything - and considering I was on the bottom bunk underneath him, I didn't feel the bed shaking at all while he listened...

Janet and John from The Gynway, moving out today if everything goes right for them, have said that next year if we like we can all take sleeping bags and kip in their lounge if we like, which is very decent of them. Gob said that Tony would naturally have his own room...