You think she'd have consulted with me first. But as it is, congratulations mate. I was near Taunton at the weekend by the way, um, there you go.

Just cos you're not getting married for a while, doesn't mean you can't have a stag night. And just cos she's got a ring on her finger, doesn't mean she has any more power over you when it comes to availability for Blackpool...

If, in the future, we go paintballing on your stag weekend, can you make sure if they say we're going round to a tent for some Stella, that we actually get beer? I can't take the look of sheer disappointment on Crabbeman's face when they brought a stripper out instead.