Some media tips...

If you want to get in the Sun, phone them up, be consistantly hypocritical, and say you dont want to join the Euro becasue you 'like how gold and shiny the Pound coin is'

If you want to get in the Express, ring up and talk about anything you want. As long as you mention the words 'Tax' and 'Increase', you're assured a place on the front page.

If you want to be in the Mail, call them and be as bigoted and xenophobic as you can be. They'll dedicate a middle page spread to you.