I like the Molly Malone one. How about...

In Shefford's fair city, where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on that totty, Nemone
She got down and dirty
With a keeper called Smurfy
Singing...........Shefford!

And then launch into either We are the champions my friend or something in a similar ilk.

Thoughts?

Matty, I reckon we can use this, so you can stop thinking of other things, you've done enough mate. As for the where for Smurfy's stag night, I have no idea. Last I heard his best man was getting in touch with Jongleurs in Southampton, but they're not keen on single sex groups of more than 15 people, so he was finding out how many people were likely to come.