Liverpool manager Gerard Houllier sends scouts out round the World
looking for a new striker to replace Emile Heskey and hopefully win
Liverpool the title.

One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks
will turn out to be a true superstar. So Gerard flies to Iraq to watch
him, is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down at home to Man Utd with only 20
minutes left. Houllier gives the young Iraqi striker the nod to go on
and he takes off Emile Heskey. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20
minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the
players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.

When he comes off the pitch he phones his Mum to tell her about his
first day in English football.
"Hi Mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were
4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the
players and the media, they all love me".

"Great," says his Mum, "let me tell you about my day. Your father got
shot in the street, your sister and I were beaten and your brother has
joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time".
The young lad is very upset. "What can I say Mum, but I'm so sorry".
"Sorry!" says his Mum, "It's your fault we moved to Liverpool in the
first place!"