Wishing all Shefford players, girlfriends, wives, sons, daughters and not-girlfriends-but-still-available-for-a-bunk-up-in-the-bogs a very Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and I shall see those of you who survive it on the 8th January for a trip to Chaversham.

Merry Christmas, wherever you are.

I'm still here collecting your taxes...

Merry Christmas.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS! and prosperous NEW YEAR! HO! HO! HO!

It's a home fixture for us Reading boys, getting up at half nine, staggering into the Changing Rooms at 10.20am, then seeing the opposition ut in the pub and getting beaten up. Quality.

Merry Christmas one and all. Have a pretty good New Year.

Nice! I love a nice Berks & Bucks Cup away trip. Some of the best and worst times happen on those and none of the players know where I live.

Berks & Bucks Cup. 8th January away to Caversham Town

Good cos I'm still working like a youth team player who's just shat in one of Roy Keane's boots by mistake.

Merry Christmas gents - Smurfy when's the next fixtured match?

Im still here mate

You buggers all already broken up for Christmas?

Is there some competition going on for the most number of reasons to be kicked out of Liquid?

Fight - check
Pulling hair - check
Bunk up in the bogs - check

It's a good effort from Crabbeman though - if you're wooing a young lady there's no more romantic place around than the Liquid ladies toilets. Forget a nice meal, some soft music and fine wine, just hoik em aside love and hook your foot up on the flush for a couple of minutes...

All got chucked out of Seymours then apparently Crabbeman got chucked out of liquids for trying to shag his 'Mrs' in the ladies loo.
I never made it as far as liquids

So what was the gossip from the rest of Sunday then? Last night I was at a party with Tim Lovejoy and Steve Macmanamanamanaman amongst other celebs (Rachel Stevens and Emma Bunton included).

Managed to stay respectable though despite wanting to start the "Easy" chant after a few champagnes...

I'm ILL

How polite you dont usually ask!!!!!!

Who is this Sillsy bloke anyway?

Sillsy i think and i might be wrong here but don't you need a left foot!!!! Oh and to be able to defend.

Smurf please don't put Sillsy there. lol.

Does that mean I can go for Left Back? I played right back when I was 13...

Beeny! You can't just disappear on us mate we've seen you through good times and bad you owe us more than that. You go, we go. I'd kill you rather than see you leave us. You complete us. You're our life, our heart, our everything. Maybe we can still be friends, you know, go out now and then. Is it us? We can change. We've let ourselves go a bit recently but we can really try. We'll do anything you want. If you can walk out that door without looking back then you can go.

Oh.

Keep in touch mate.

No Smurf... but she might!

Crabbeman if she is not your girlfriend you wont mind me shagging her sunday then.

Me and lewis collided at training yesterday i now no why nobody ever gets up when he nuts them!!!! my head has been killing all day thank god my nose didnt go into his head or i would be looking as bas as browny!!!!! looking forward to sunday if you wanna bring cat along john katie will be coming along but she isnt my GIRLFRIEND. I am trying to take over the beeney roll but the women i sleep with are actually good looking!!!!!

Smurf Just to let you know I won't be available for the rest of the season, What with commitments on Saturday's and playing Mondays and Wednesdays it's all a little to much for my frail body so I have to give one of them up.

Good luck for the rest of the season guys and have good night on Sunday, hope you all have a great Christmas!!

Frew, youve stolen that straight from F365...

What happened to him? Surely he didn't actually take a punch for once? Man if Lewis starts getting beaten up then my hold understanding of life is turned upside down. First One True Voice split up and now this...

Yeah, he couldn't decide if it was broken or out of shape, got home and his missus said 'what have you done to your nose?'. So there was his answer!

He said he just has a lump at the top, not badly out of shape. No black eyes etc.

I told him he's going to have a nose the size of mine... Just to help keep his confidence up.

Other halves have always been welcome in the past - Beenie usually brings some feisty female along who instantly becomes our leader and then dumps him. Julie'll be there.

I'm not bringing my other half and i to will not be participating in liquid i will be leaving at pub closing time.

Eh? Kirsten wants us walking around, arms tucked in, picking up corn from the floor with our mouths? How bizarre. Still, if the beer is flowing...

So Sunday, I probably wont be out for the Liquid part, I'll skip on the last train back. Are girlfriends coming? Crabbeman said yes, but I wanted to see what everyone else was doing...

What more news do you want? Lets catch up on Sunday - blogger aint really the place for gossip and stuff.

Halfway is still fine for Sunday though - I spoke to Kirsten and she's still keen to have us in there acting like cocks.

Are we still ok for the Halfway on Sunday then? Anymore news of Crossey?

lol not sure what point you're trying to make their smurfy but I'm sure Paul took it the right way.

Looking forward to Sunday avo - I might be taking it gently though as I'm out tomorrow with the BBC, then out Saturday for my company's christmas party, then out Monday with a client for their christmas party, then out Tuesday with a client for another christmas party. Rachel Stevens might be at the party on Monday night so I want to be in good form for her, so forgive me if I'm not out all night and drinking hard on Sunday. I am not gay.

Will still win a few quid off you all in the "Randomly made up Christmas competition" - last year's "flicking the quid into the cubby hole" was a true favourite, so will shall see...

One of our blokes at work had his done as well Monday night,and he is as thick as fuck!

Fucking hell you were lucky, depending on which way you look at it. So they broke in while you were in the house? That's fucking scary biscuits. I guess you'll be stashing your car keys a little more securely in the house from now on then? Do you get to know the names and addresses of the thicko's they nicked? So many questions. See you at the pub on Sunday.

Paul are you serious about having your cars nicked???

Drinks after the game this sunday. I have my parents coming over so may have to join you a little later in the afternoon - hopefully before the footy kicks off - is it a 4pm match the arsenal one?

Bayer 7 - 0 Monument
Reading 5 -1 Brighton
Henwick 5 - 0 Newthatch

Bayer 7 0 Monument
Henwick 5 0 Newthatch

Bayer 7 0 Monument
Henwick 5 0 Newthatch

Weekend results

Bayer 7 Monument 0
Henwick 5 Newthatch 0

Lewis covered more ground this week than last too, got quite close to the goal at one point.

With me in goal as well it was a stunning performance - never dropped a single shot...

Mr Hills, don't apologise! It was a cracking joke!

My apologies fo that shit joke but couldn't resist

That would have been very aMOOOOsing! Boom! Boom!

Not a problem Frew, just assumed you were trying to bring me down a peg or two for being so smug at the couple of cheeky goals I scored!

Enjoyed last night as well. Lewis needs his system flushed out, cause those smells were no joke. The only time he bothered coming back to defend was when he needed to fart.... I was weezing all the way home.

....oh, and then Ad nearly crashed into a cow on Burys Bank Road!!

Just done the match report for sundays game on www.yellowjersey.net

Coming from a player that calls a good tackle ' anything above the knee'... and uses quotes to the ref, such as: "come on ref, theres no blood" !

Quite looking forward to training tonight - need the fitness.

What the Blimey o' Reilly has happened? You boys drew 2-2 with Bayer? Drew? With Bayer? Could someone please explain!

Cant believe that other piece of shocking news, you wouldnt have expected it. Still, I guess I have to start a game sometimes...

Frew, I've missed you baby. I got the thing you asked for from the 'Dam. When customs asked, I said the 'Classic Plastic Fist' was a toy for a pet dog.

No sorry Frew I have to disagree with you there they would never take any notice.

It would have to be Simple Simon Says........

Best stick to gritting Smurf.

After all the effort of climbing a 'HILL' Reward your self with a pint of man juice.

Shudder.

Yeah I think Kirsten is handling it as well as can be expected but a load of thugs all bounding in going "where's Crossy?" and "where're our fooking chips?" when she has no husband and no chef would have been the last thing she needed.

Frewy your accent would have instantly guaranteed you for the "Deprived Area Discount" - if you'd pushed it a bit further they have a stock of unclaimed giro's behind the bar that they give out to Scousers and Scotsmen. It's considered traditional for the recipient to say "I'll sort you out on payday" - as then it's understood by both parties that considering payday does not exist in those areas, no payback is actually due.

To be really polite, as you say "sort you out" you should have that slightly dead look in your eye (brought on by heroine addiction) which should make everyone wonder what you really mean by it...

Coughing as you walk away is overdoing it, we know you have houses with roofs up there these days.

By the way Shane I've got some preliminary samples of 'Man Juice' for you when you want it.

That was probably their 'bit for charidy' Smurf so don't read anything into it! As for u smiler, your name and bounding don't even come in the same sentence. In fact you can't use your name with anything remotely athletic and that's coming from Simon 'snails pace' Hill!

Wondered why i always got mine for free!!!

I think Smurf had only heard rumors, and didn't know anything for certain. Just had heard that Crossey was currently not at the pub. But I don't think he knew much more than that. Or at least didn't say any more.

We didn't go back there on Sunday, which was probably a good thing as I doubt Kirsten would have wanted us bounding though the door asking where Crossey was - obviously not realising the seriousness of it all.

Mind you - after a 2-2 draw with Bayer no one was exactly bounding anywhere.

Well I'm not sure what Smurf's told you but I may as well let you all know - wanted to explain it face to face but this'll have to do...

Crossy and Kirsten have currently split up. Kirsten is manning the pub and Crossy, I believe, has gone up North to stay at his dad's house. If you're ever in The Halfway then please be diplomatic about it all as it's not been a particularly amicable split and Kirsten is quite upset about it - coupled with that that the chef and the barmaid have also gone (they knew that was happening as they had an opportunity to go and run their own pub, something they've been looking at for some time) but it's put Kirsten under some pressure to suddenly be landed with all that on her own - so go gentle.

As for Crossy, well you can make your own minds up on that one - I'm personally not particularly impressed but that's all I'm gonna say.

Just had a look at arsenal fixtures and we are playing chelsea on the 18th the same day as are xmas do!!!! mind you i may not want to watch it at the moment or we may not be able to watch it if ghenghis gets on the roof again!!!!! whats the news on crossey??? or was it another smurf wind up

Parfume ads don't really use jingles Hilly, although we are targeting the less-affluent market with "Man Juice". I'm wondering whether a more Lynx style approach would be the best route in the "Spray more Get more" type mould...

Man Juice from Hilly. Come on. Her face.

With associated imagery to avoid any confusion in the message of course.

Very good Shane we're on the same wavelength but you'll need a catchy jingle as well and naked ladies at the promotion then I might think about cutting you in on the deal.

"Man Juice" by Hilly - available at all reputable Everything For A Pound shops.

They've already started to benefit from my silky skills as I've played the last 10mins up front in a few games this season, but if the're bright and alert then they will soon be reaping the rewards of playing alongside a naturally gifted player like myself. If only I could bottle all this knowledge and wisdom and get Shane to market it, I would make a killing!

Yep Frewy was right it was all his fault Genghis, he was in a sort of dreamworld. I think he was in awe at playing alongside the legendary Mr Hill which I can understand, but he learnt a lot in the process and listened well so he'll come back much stronger and better equipped for the next game.

I was starting him sunday as well......................

yeah funny how Johnny always come back from his Amsterdam trips a little richer and walking gingerly...

Will do boss.

I'll talk to John....!

When I used to go to Bracknell for a night out I was living in Woking, gateway to London. The counrty bumpkin thing is something I have earned as a privilege - I didn't grow up in the countryside, I grew up in the towns watching all the working class people work. It was great fun.

"You there, what day is it?"

"Why it's Christmas Day m'lord"

"Here's a shiny penny, now piss off"

ah childhood memories...

Matty make sure you bring some warm clothes with you sunday,you might get cold on the sideline

I'm learning a lot about myself today!

I can see Frew in a white suit, white hat and gloves in a HP factory. It's just a shame the white suit he usually wears ties up at the back.

Do you make Brown sauce at HP?

"I don't know what amyl nitrate is..." haha you make me laugh. You and your family - The Frew Brothers - came down here peddling the stuff and now you've made it big with your fancy job at HP you're denying all knowledge! You used to be beautiful.

It's "poppers" - stuff that Atkins takes when he goes to Liquid cos it apparently, amongst other physiological effects it has, relaxes the sphincter muscles.

So what do you do at HP now then? I thought you were in retail banking management...

Sadly my goals:game ratio is now 1 goal in 1.2 games - still better than a certain striker playing Champions League football this season.

I'm not around on Sunday I'm up in Birmingham. The xmas period becomes a hectic time for me what with all the friends that I have. It's typical too cos I thought I might have a go at training properly and regularly to be a bit more of a useful sub option than some old guy who wheezes a lot and gets the odd tap in.

How come you've moved to Bracknell Mr Frew? Have you never been there before? I used to go there as a teenager when I lived in Woking, I remember some guy giving me and my mates a jar of amyl nitrate in the car park of the cinema one night after we'd been bowling - said "Here you are lad, enjoy yourselves." That was an interesting drive home. You look after yourself.

Frew - You've only moved to Bracknell to try and pinch the "Clubman" award off Browny at the presentation night, by showing your commitment to the cause....

A pat on the back though. If I moved away from Newbury I'd still have all good intentions of coming each Sunday, but I'd never make it because there wouldn't be anyone to come and bang on my door to get me up in time.

Smurf - if you pick me this week, I promise not to call you a fecking idiot again...

...and I'll make you look good in the tag team match...

City Playground on Sunday, should be on. All the herion needles dropped by all the freaks up there should help drain the pitch....

What if we lose 6-5 though? Possible with our inconsistency lately! Are you about Shane?

That's the spirit. If it carries on with this sort of weather do you reckon Sunday's game might be off? Where to Bayer play? Are you going to set a punishment for if the team don't score 5 goals or more on Sunday?

Im here Bellers just couldnt be bothered to write anything cos no one else was

All quiet on the blogger since Beeny came on... Has everyone done what we did last time and gone on to another Blogger until he goes away again?

All I can say Frewy is that was very poor...sweet jesus is there anyway we can block this idiot from blogger!!!

The Joke ends with "the fat cow" Just f.y.i Bung drew nighting!

What do you think he meant?

Matty called me a fucking idiot,Shane

It was 3-0 at half time, Shaner.

Lost 4-1 in the end.

Oh right - I didn't even think we'd played in that cup yet. Ah well. So what was the final score?

We had conceded against Newthatch 3-1

Yeah, to think we hadn't even conceded a goal in that competition until then...

Hello mate sorry I wasn't around Friday I was up at an award ceremony in London. Didn't win.

And no I wasn't available for Sunday either cos I was up in London again Saturday night staying over.

What was the final score yesterday? I knew you were 3-1 down at halftime and guessed that with no txt message you didn't manage to turn it around? Also guessed that it was probably going to be a match to scratch down to the Gold Cup...

http://www.leaguemanagers.com/awards/tissot-league.html

Shane you available sunday as i still dont have your number

Crabbeman comes on here once in a blue moon and destroys us all. Wednesday training messes up my week cos I always think it's Friday the next day. And it's not. Ah well.

just had a chat to lewis we cant move training because burghclere train there on a thursday night so you will just have to keep those karate moves for the next bruce lee film genghis!!!!

Genghis!!!

Long time no correcting your spelling. It'd be good to see you back at training with your new-found karate skills. Can just see you getting the ball and going on a Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon run along the wall and down into the goal.

If you wish to change training to thursday nights it is not a problem with me.
As long as my players are happy,i'm happy

Blimey, almost forgot to announce that I too will be unable to train tomorrow due to previous committments. Its going to be a ghost-hall...

Relax you bunch of homophobic ladies! It's just the title to the Arctic Monkeys song of the moment, which I failed to get played on Saturday night, but did succedd in getting in stuck in Grundy's head for about 9 hours.

Wouldnt it be amusing if we changed training back to Thursday, just as Genghis declared that, 'after months of trying, Ive persuaded all of my Karate friends to change to a Thursday night so I can play football'.

I'd wet myself like Frew did when he watched Scary Movie.

Silsy i appreciate the comment but seriously don't you think i'm a little short to be looked up too!!!! As for the dancing part....What can i say, it runs in the blood. All of us Oompa Lumpa's dance and sing!!!!! Training doesn't bother me which night but i'm also not here this week.

Slightly concerned about that last sentence Mr Sills. Especially after spending most of Saturday night asking "where's Grundy? is he dancing?" over and over. I mean, it's important to have a role model, but there's a fine line between hero-worship and homo-erotic-crush...

I can't make training tomorrow either. We changed to Weds as Smurf couldn't make Thurs... But it seems he can't make Weds either.

I'm happy for it to change to Thursdays.

I would like to officially say that I'm not bothered if we train on a Wednesday or a Thursday, and thats official.

Frodo - I bet that you look good on the dance floor...

Doesn't look like I'm going to be able to make it to training this Wednesday - sorry. You'll all have to play your lesser standard of 2-touch football like in previous weeks when I was either not available or unable to breathe.

How are the conversations going to move training back to Thursdays over the winter while it's mainly 2-touch indoor stuff? Smurfy what are your thoughts and is that going to mean a load of people who currently can make it can't?

Oompa Loompa, it's not the offside trap that makes me shake with fear it's the people that are trying to play it and I include myself in that statement. You have to have complete trust in the rest of the team and when Frewy plays that's quite difficult given his thieving, dishonest upbringing in the depths of darkest scouseland.

Firstly Shaner, i don't think i could cope with too many heavy nights out before a game again like that!!!! Still feeling the effects today!!!. But i've gone from Green to a pale shade of white now. Post office next week should be a good one, Sillsy they play 3-5-2 though so you'll have loads of space when you get beyond him....sorry thats as long as you dont pass the ball to them, thanks for that by the way. 3 of them against little me and Ash. Kept expecing the horses of apocolapys to sound as well. We all did well, dropped a little to the end plus don't forget you had me playing centre back, Tony is back next week much to Hilly's relief. I've never seen a centre back shake with fear when someone says we'll play the offside trap!!!!

Truth in the words. I don't think I've ever seen a squad seem so positive about an 8-4 loss but I think we could all feel it. We don't pass the pall about like they do but when we push forward we create chances. Shame we didn't react very well to their first goal but we showed a lot of strength of mind at half time and throughout the second half. Most of all I actually really enjoyed the game.

I think if we'd got that equaliser then the day might have been legendary and we might have felt compelled to have nights out like that before every important game, so probably a good thing in the end that the ref decided to start giving them penalties at last.

I loved the songs of Que Sera Sera from Ash as we got it back to 4-2, showed the sort of positivity that was flowing through us at the time.

Give my kidneys some time to recover, then bring on the christmas do!

Ok, so my prediction of the night out wasn't entirely accurate, but I'm pretty happy with the match report! 'We were unlucky with a couple of decisions'!! Just call me Meg.

Anyhow lads, I think we should all be celebrating. So we didn't win the match and we all feel like George Best's Liver (I hope he doesn't die before you lot read this), but I think this weekend we saw the welcome return of Shefford F.C.. We've had a tough year, a managerial merry-go-round, and some shocking performances, but I think we're back to where we were; playing some good football, enjoying it, and drinking. No-one had a go at anyone on the pitch, despite some shocking personal mistakes (sorry about a couple of those...), and in the end we've put four past a Premiership team despite all being ready to throw up.

Bring on Post Office next week, I'm going to eat that little man they have at left back for breakfast. Don't worry though Browny, I'll leave his head so he'll still live.

Great night out on Saturday lads, liquid never changes! I dont think I'll ever forget the moment where Smurfy tipped his head back to finish off the yard of ale and promptly fell on the floor. And what did that guy say to Lewis to make him head butt him? Funny that they were friends by the end of the night though. And did any see if Crabbeman got anywhere with that girl he was trying it on with all night?!

As for the match, well we knew before that they were a good team and the night out didnt help! Still, I thought we played some good football at times, and were unlucky with a few decisions. At least we are still in two other cups.

*NB, This was Written on Saturday morning, lets se how right I was...*

Superb. Now we can give him a long overdue chorus of: Johnny Lamb, Johnny Lamb... Then he can leave.

OK Mr Bellamy point taken.Make sure you have your boots with you

Smurf seeing as you are texting my old telephone number (now owned by someone else) I cannot reply to your txts.

Tomorrow I will furnish you with my new mobile number (which you already have cos you've called me on it many times...) but lets say no more about it other than [insert spacker noise here].

Yes to the night out - yes to the footy, although as I'm not expecting to play then I'm not expecting to turn up in any fit state to play. I have the luscious Mr Lamb staying at my place (that's why Mr Sills and Crabbeman had no chance) on Saturday night (he's coming to the night out).

That was a yes and a yes by the way.

Shane seeing as you are not replying to my texts please read the following message:

Game sunday away to Partick 10am at Bradfield Southend.And team piss up saturday night starting at The Halfway Inn 7pm then head to town.

Please confirm availability for both asap. (Put that bit in for you Sillsy)

I dunno he's pretty fast for a Halfling. The other night when he finally put the ball in the net to knock "Team Shane" off the pitch for the first time in 45 minutes I was catching him but just ran out of time. If only that hall had been 3 or 4 miles longer...

"Yes officer, I took the young man to the address he stated and he ran off without paying. I gave chase but lost him and returned to my car to find it sat up on bricks and missing a stereo..." -

That's a classic!! - Half the office think I just burst out laughing for no reason at all.

I was going to add to your suggestion of using there names, thought we could get the lift and then leg it for a laugh.

But I'm worried the 19st 10oz taxi driver might still catch Grundy.

I could talk you through my goals but it would take far too long due to the colossal number of them. I got a bit of early stick for "goal hanging" but soon silenced my critics by telling them to fuck off and by engaging in a series of sweeping moves and individual flair. Peter Crouch was on the phone yesterday asking me if I could help him out with his own boo-boys. Was kinda hard to hear him though on account of me shouting "SHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT" down the phone at him. Very awkward conversation.

Why didn't I guess that the name of Frew would already be blacklisted? "Yes officer, I took the young man to the address he stated and he ran off without paying. I gave chase but lost him and returned to my car to find it sat up on bricks and missing a stereo..."

Well I can bask in the glory of one good performance and could even consider quitting football altogether to go out on a high, but sadly running full-on into Crabbeman has erased most of my memory of the evening.

Looking forward to tomorrow night - i reckon we phone up and book taxis from the pub but use either Frew or Stronach as the name to give in case we end up messing them about or getting in them covered in stale piss or something.

I have to agree with Matty's point, I thought you were superb last night Shaner, I even ran out of comically sarcastic remarks to make about the goals you were scoring.

I wonder how Browny's balls are today?

Frew, stop trying to be funny and get on with your revision.

Dunno where that came from last night most of the stuff i tried just seemed to go right. I think that being able to breathe this week helped a bit. Frewy with all this talk of tag teaming and taking the three count i'm getting slightly relieved that you're not there on sunday. And when i say slightly relieved...

Err. No. Sorry Frew but I don't know any wrestling moves. But I may reconsider if you buy me a Hulk Hogan outfit and a pair of decent running shoes.

Good idea about the taxi's Shane, otherwise it'll be closing time before we know it.

Did you play a lot of beach footy in Auzzie land? You were in fine form last night!

I think you know the answer to your question Frodo....I've heard about your DVD collection pal!

Wrestling is fake anyway, bare knuckle street fighting is the way forward, my friends.

I've just heard on the radio that teachers at Ormskirk college have gone on strike for a pay rise. Isn't that where you're from Frew? Apparently they're asking for a 100% rise to £3.30 an hour and a car alarm.

Don't poofs wrestle????

Hilly i really hope Frew picks Matt

Frewy it's all very well making plans to put sleeper holds on me etc whilst hiding behind the sanctity of your PC, but come Sunday morning you'll be making pleasantries again praying that I've forgotten all the idle threats that you've thrown my way in the past few days.

Smurf i do believe we can now put all our practise sessions into action and throw down the 'Tag Team gauntlet' to Frewy and the poor unfortunate that he chooses to partner himself.

Jeepers, this Yard of Ale malarky seems to be gathering pace, but at least there will be a few of use tucked away in the corner weatching as Hilly lays the Smackdown on Ad.

Also, does anyone else think that Smurf will have 'please confirm availability ASAP' on his gravestone? Its like an identikit text message, saved on his phone with on the team and time needing to be changed each week. Lazy.

Grundy - I too live in Reading, so with Mr Crabbe there will be two of us from the common side.

Frew - visit www.imafuckingtwat.com, it's you'll find friends there.

Reckon we should book cabs for 9pm Saturday otherwise we'll never get away into town. That said, I aint organising it I shall be sat in the corner shouting "SILLSY'S NEXT" until he does his yard.

I'm nominating Browny to do my yard for me. This is not the same as Smurf making Browny take his inches to try and get into the team...

Frew, seeing as i am Hilly's tagteam partner, i took offense to your earlier comments and feel a few special moves coming out.
Just worked out that i am on standby this week for gritting and we will be out most nights this week.
I have just managed to lose saturday night

Someone better make sure they bring some extra big gloves for smurf so that he doesn't drop anything....... for a change!!!!

Grundy dont worry i have a lifeguard certificate so you will be safe if you fall in the yard of ale.
Reply to the texts i have just sent you tossers

Ohh hard words from Matt!!!! As for you hiding in the corner, nothing new there, it'll be just like playing a match for you then. Getting picked on by the smaller players.
Anyway i'll let you know i'm in shape........round is a shape. And coming from the second fattest player we have.
Sorry I shouldn't say that, i knwo its a hard time of the year for you, with the rest of the plump turkeys being killed off. You Must be nervous!!! lol.

Sillsy's so tight it probably won't be his pint he's drinking either!

Said that, it won't be mine because I'll be sat next to him hiding from being tormented for not being able to down a yard of ale!

Grundy - You don't get half a yard because your short, you get 2 yards because your fa....new.

Sillsy your a big girl. If i have to do the Yard then so do you, its only fair.
I know Chewie is going on saturday so at least thats one of the reading contingent. Crook isn't going though. Has anyone else dropped out, so thats at least 3 players who'll be fit to play sunday morning. Smurf in goal then? lol.

Looking forward to it, no Frew or Rob though, so the Reading contingent may be thin on the ground. Still, it will make you lot feel better. 18th sounds good for the Xmas do, I'm salivating at the thought at watching other people get hammered on the yard of ale, as I quietly sip my pint in the corner...

Am I right in thinking that the only person to date to successfully neck the yard is Browny? So there's your training plan right there if you want to down the yard; run up and down in a straight line for at least 45 minutes, raise your right arm and shout "fuck you, you were miles off".

Excellent, sounds good to me!!!! Any excuse to drink!!!
Yard of Ale?!? Do i get a half yard as i'm shorter than everyone else?

Halfway for 7pm to start with, drink loads there have a crack with Crossy then make our way to town and see where we end up.
Xmas bash is pretty much the same Mr Grundy with silly drinking games thrown in,silly shots and the yard of ale.(Yard of smirnoff ice in ghengis's case)

I'm back this week for training, and feel sharp again. You'll all be glad to know i have been working hard on my fitness. I can succesfully run for 10 whole minutes now!!!! 10 more than Lewis and Matt!!! What's the plan for saturday anyway? And what do you do for xmas normally.
Frodo (Paul G)

I wasn't feeling too good last week at training either, plus I was playing shite which didn't help! No game for 3 weeks so I'm probably back to square one with my fitness.

Christmas just wouldn't be the same without the huge session after the last game of the year, so surely the 18th is a must! Providing everyone else agrees!

I'm out Saturday night too - looking forward to it. Looking forward to training tomorrow night too to see if I can go for more than 15 minutes before my body starts rebelling against me.

Speaking of Christmas - looks like our last game might be on the 18th this year, so are we gonna do our usual drinks after that?

Our internet was down yesterday so I wasn't able to update you all on the scores! Smurf did a good job though!

Theres only one team in the league that has conceded less goals than us and there are top of the league...

The Iron Curtain is back in force.

I will be there saturday night got the green pass from the missus,thats one more pass than anyone has got from Lewis

Hmmmm. Don't have much to say, so I'll just say that Hilly, I think Frew is a twat, and to everyone, whats the line up looking like for Saturday?

Haha that's got romance of the cup written all over it - at least it's a cup game and not a league game against someone that we really should beat but probably won't cos Lewis won't be able to see and Matt will still be tied up on a train to Glasgow...

Mind you he'll have to change at Paddington, might have to put a bit more thought into this lads.

Away to Partick in the cup.
The night after our piss up 7 pm at the Halfway

They'll be dancing in the corridors of Bayer this morning.

I remember my first victory as Shefford boss after we were languishing at the bottom of Div 2 (might even have been called Div 3 back then) and I'd missed the easiest header in the world from a John Lamb cross instead of equalising against Quantel the Sunday before. We played Vodafone the next week and absolutely went for them like a pack of wolves, beat them 3-1 (really needed that 3rd as well cos we were stuttering) but it was the jolt we needed to go onto greater things.

Hopefully Bayer will settle for their 3 points and go back to being shite again.

Who we got this week boss?

I will beat Matt to it:

Berks and Bucks Trophy
Hermitage Reserves 9 Paggies Bar 0
Ashampstead 0 Westwood 6
Caversham 4 Henwick 3
Hampstead Norreys 3 Rutherford 1
Monument 3 Mortimer 6
Chav Friend 4 Highmoor 3

And in the league:
Bayer 3 Newthatch 1 ( Bayers first points )

Still waiting for Matt's "This weekend's results" post...

I hope everybody used their Sunday off wisely. I went diving, which wasn't wise and then saw Crabbeman in the Berkshire Arms which was lovely.

Honestly dont know Frodo

Okay, so who's bright idea was it to put a bloody oompa Lumpa for my picture!!!!
Very funny though, still laughing at Chewie's picture!!!!

Peace Loving pacifist hilly?? I think you only like that word cos its got the word fist in it!!!!!

Great work on the yellowjersey Ad, Gotta love Crabbe "Chewie" Man Pic!

Adam thankyou for replacing my picture on yellowjersey and I have to apologise if you took my previous post as a threat (as Frewy did), I was merely looking forward to Sundays' edition of Smackdown and trying to help with improving the Shefford site. I think people misunderstand me and associate me with violence which I feel is unfair as I'm a peaceloving pacifist.
If anyone would care to challenge this statement then I'm all ears.......especially Mong Pong Frewy, WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!!!

You're all wrong - I was not even signalling a number at all - you can actually tell by the smile on my face that I was signalling, after 16 hours of trying, that I had finally removed my finger from my sphincter.

Great, great way to spend a day.

While hilly is a funny bloke and his posts over the last couple of weeks have really made me laugh, there was no hint of humour in his 'Just a suggestion' post.

So just in case he really didn't want the picture up there i took it down and adopted the pic myself. Also to avoid a suplex or any other wrestling move he seems keen on...

Think shane was signaling the number of pints lewis had before he nutted someone.

No matter how riddiculous everyone has a picture now!

Smurfy, give me or shane his email and we can invite him. Are you ever gonna come to training?!

I dont know that bloke from Clacton, although he looks likes a good bloke.

I hear you get your poo pushed like him as well....

You need to be an administrator to invite people, I think Shane and Sillsy have the invite rights.

Im Elton John's twin brother check the pic

How do you invite people on here i have Grundy's e-mail but do not know how to invite

Anyone watch Lost last night? The cop from Terminator 2 was on there ("Have you seen this boy?") and looking really really old. Made me think about Paul Curtis.

Anyway, man I enjoyed training last night. I like those little goals - other than the odd goalmouth scramble I think they encourage tidy finishing and there was some neat little passages of play going on there at times.

My fitness started off great I realised that maybe I hadn't got as unfit as I thought while I was away. Then I felt a bit sick for a while. Then I got better. I think it's what marathon runners call "the wall" - they hit it after about 19 miles apparently, I got there in about 17 minutes.

The Ghenginator

Hilly was that photo of you taken in the Halfway i cant remember,you look good in it.
Sillsy my finger must of slipped when i put your position on the site as right winger and substitute are right next to each other.
Nice work Ads

Have a listen to these 2 for a chuckle!

http://www.radioireland.ie/audio/giftjose.wma

www.radioireland.ie/audio/giftjose2.wma

Just a suggestion but you might want to have a rethink about my image on the site

Sorry Ad I was just thinking ahead to Sunday

You've been updated Hoff...

Sorry, seem to have gone a bit photo-happy there...

Those profiles are fantastic. Good work.

You only get 1 team photo and ive already put the shefford badge up there.

If anyone wants me to put in a squad number for them let us know.

Smurfs ambulance...

This could get brutal, try www.sheffordfc.com for profiles and photos....

At least the yellow jersey site has cleared one thing up...I'm now officially a right winger!

Newly updated Profiles.....Grundy and Frew.

Also typed in some names into google and uploaded what i found - Lewis, woody and Hilly. Honestly what showed up when i typed there name! Quite funny i think you'll agree....

Sorry Hilly!

We need to invite Ooompa on to blogger, but I haven't got his e-mail address. I think he'd be the type to post a lot. i.e. - Has a boring job.

I hope most the team are going to have photo's of themselves if I've got too!!

No Grundy is the oompa loompa

Someone has just informed me that apparently crabbeman now has a photo as well

Brownys profile? Don't know what your talking about

As funny as it is. Brownys profile had absolutly nothing to do with me!!! Matty's however..........

Glad you approve Long John Atkins

Ha ha !! Superb!

www.yellowjersey.net Select football,England,Berks&Bucks then Lakeside Sunday league.
Find Shefford then check player stats click on the players name and the profile should appear.Not a lot added yet just Matt,Ad,Smurf.

And now recently added Brownys profile some one as made a re-appearance

Cheers Matt. See you there then, I might be bringing a mate from work - no idea if he's any good but he's a decent bloke. Don't think he's fussed about signing up and playing at the moment, just wants to do a bit of exercise and kick a ball around, so all you midfielders there's no need to slide tackle him above the knee...

I'm not loving the pirate... At all!

Training is 8.30pm Shane

Ad's Love the pirate

Here is the latest table.

Hampstead Norreys P 8 W 7 D 1 L 0 GD 21 PTS 22
Henwick P 7 W 5 D 1 L 1 GD 18 PTS 16
Hermitage P 6 W 4 D 1 L 1 GD 10 PTS 13
Post Office P 7 W 4 D 0 L 3 GD 4 PTS 12
Monument P 7 W 4 D 0 L 3 GD 2 PTS 12
SHEFFORD P 6 W 3 D 0 L 3 GD 7 PTS 9
Westwood P 7 W 3 D 0 L 4 GD-7 PTS 9
Travellers Friend P 8 W 3 D 0 L 5 GD-9 PTS 9
Newthatch P 7 W 2 D 2 L 3 GD 2 PTS 8
Bayer P 6 W 0 D 1 L 5 GD-18 PTS 1
Paggies Bar P 7 W 0 D 0 L 7 GD-30 PTS 0

Gents - is training 8.30pm still or did I hear someone say it's 8pm now?

I volunteered myself to give smurfy a hand with the yellow jersey website. He's got me passworded up to update it all so if you have a specific picture or profile for yourself or someone else let me know. If not me or smurf will find a suitable one.

There's a pirate on the site don't ya know!

Gents, this a video, safe for work...



http://www.fazed.org/video/view/?id=120

G'day Shane - Hope you had a good holiday mate.

I'm gutted there's no game this week, especially as yesterdays game was off.

Training has bee pretty good, everyones been working hard and producing some very good passing football. There aren't any goals now, so we use a bench as a goal, which means shots have to be of a better quality.

Unfortunately there's no netball team, they must be on the Thursday nights.

But if you want to 'buff up' to impress, there are some weirdo's that do indoor athletics before us, they throw pretend javelins, ride there bikes on time trial machines and leave massive sweat patches all over the floor that we keep slipping up on...!

Mortimer West End - that's the team that we were all over in the B&B a coupla seasons ago but they came back in the second half to win it. I was in goal but I don't think that had any impact on the game...

Saturday 19th sounds cool to me. Should be a good night. I'm trying to save some cash after my holiday so that'll be my one night out this month.

Shame no game this Sunday either then. What's training like on Wednesdays? Is there still a netball team training there before us? Just wondering whether to buff up my tan beforehand...

Monument are in action this weekend in the Berks and Bucks against Mortimer West End

Saturday the 19th November for a night out.I have just left the Halfway so i propose we meet up there at 6:30 - 7:00 and then progress to town after.
Crossy has said he will join us.

Results all over the place then.

Shame yesterday's game was off - was looking forward to standing there all wrapped up nice and warm and watching you guys wallowing around in the Vicky Park mud.

I know Smurf was gonna look into whether Monument are still in the B&B Cup and if not to try and arrange the match for next Sunday, so hopefully there won't be too much of a gap between games.

The pitch didn't look too bad yesterday and the weather wasn't that bad by then either - however Vicky Park does cut up worse than most pitches around. Either way, the ref didn't seem too keen and it's his decision I guess.

Looking forwards to training on Wednesday, think it's gonna be a shock to my system after a holiday and a few weeks before where I couldn't make it. We shall see.

Happy Birthday Frewy I hear that they refused to serve you from about 12.30am and that you were that far gone by then that you didn't even appear to mind/understand? Not a bad effort by all accounts.

Did we set 18th November as a date for a Shefford night out in the end? Can't remember where we got to with that...

Blimey - the extremely poor weather took it's toll on the Sunday league fixtures...


Hampstead Norreys 4 - 0 Paggies Bar

Monument - (p) Shefford

Newthatch 2 - 2 Bayer

Travellers Friend 3 - 0 Newbury Post Office

Westwood Academy 1 - 7 Henwick

Total bollocks that the game was called off yesterday, basically because it was raining. The ground was no more than 'soft' and when he bounced the ball to see how wet it was, the ball bounced about 2 foot back in the air!

We should have been arguing to get the game played as they obviously weren't up for it.

* All games at Henwick were played, so the excuse the ref game gave "the council don't like the pitches getting churned up was total' rubbish.

Rant over.

Two week "international" break now. Rubbish.

Frew, will you be pre planning the teams on Saturday? Is Browny coming...

I'll settle for dead legs. A punch on my nose could get a little messy.

I've always hate Thomas The Tank Engine ya know. £10.00 - Smurf your cheap.

Tank has 12 'mates' coming down for his birthday this weekend. Something tells me the Reading Evening Post is going to have a few stories regarding a spate of robberies, a few fights and another dog rape...

Tanks face and a poodle will suit the front of the Reading Evening Posts quite nicely.

Sorry Kung Frew im not into violence my church group would kick me out if they heard of behaviour of that sort.

Probably stole it from Matt in the first place...

3 Things for your information:

1 It is a league game Sunday
2 Matt your dropped
3 Frew you owe me a tenner

http://www.footballfanscensus.co.uk/fan_league.html?survey_id=104

Is the game on sunday a cup match or a friendly then?!

Browny in centre mid... He'd end up standing up front all game anyway.

A few cracked ribs sounds pain full. I can remember him doing that - but he thought he was just winded.

Is Ashley playing this week then?

Browny was going to start? How many players do we have for Sunday then?!

Just made Brownys day,he text me to inform me he is not available and i let him know that he was starting on sunday.

Why is my job so hard yet so pleasing?

Woody has a few cracked ribs by the way that he got in the Westwood game

You've gotta love those Private Eye parodies...

No one cares about Chelsea anyway. I think most people have realised there going to walk the league so are concentrating on the other teams *smaller teams* scraping away in 2nd - 10th place. Good stuff like you say.

The this years premier hasn't a patch on this cheers Championship. Now that is exciting...

Blue Army...

I have missed it a lot, its been nearly a month since I played, Im dying to get back playing.

The Arse are doing ok, just take Chelsea out and you have the most exciting Premiership for years, everyone beating each other, shocks and upsets, player and manager arguments, its great.

Yeah - but I bet you missed your Sunday football while led on the beach in the glorious sunsun while drinking cheap beer... No?

Back to reality now thou mate! Weather hasn't actually been too bad, had some nice days for the time of year. But now it's November it's turned shite.

Do you want me to talk you though your "8th" place in the Premiership?

I'm liking the weather link there Matty, although I wouldnt know what weather you are referring to, as I havent seen anything less than 30 degrees over the last two weeks...

Hello Mr S, You have a nice holiday mate?

Nothing overly interesting, a few good training session and another pretty good performance against Westwood. I think they thought they were going to win easily, so it was good to beat them.

This Sunday could be interesting if this weather keeps up! Apparently Victoria Park is badly churned up so it going to be hard work.

Oh, talking of fair weather. Neil and Paul Curtis came training last night. Haven't seen either for ages. But good to see them.

Paul's looking very very old now.

Did you notice Mikey clapping?

Didn't notice you was away Sillsy

Afternoon Gents!

How is everyone's life then? I'm back from my international training camp with the intention of reclaiming my place in the Shefford Midfield, just as soon as someone lets me know whereabouts in the midfield I play! Matty, I'll quite happily have your position on the Right, Left, or Centre.

So, at the risk of a few incredulous comments, have I missed anything interesting...?!

Oh dear Matthew with comments like that you could well be sat on the bench with him.


Especially with two dead legs!!

Yeh - but he could be Captain bench-warmer...? It's bad timing for you, good timing for him. But he's going to have to fight for him place for the first ever I think!

Smurf now knows what it's like to be Steve Coppell at the moment...

....fat and bald.

Frew don't worry about your picture i have dowloaded yours from the police files.

THIS SUNDAY AWAY TO MONUMENT AT VICTORIA PARK 09:45 PLEASE CONFIRM AVAILABILITY IF YOU HAVE NOT DONE SO ALREADY

Morning Tank,

Yeh it was good again. I was knackered when I got home though! Those sort of sessions should improve everyones fitness a lot.

Is Crabbman still banging that bird instead of playing footy? If so, Browny better prepare himself for the centre midfield role....

He could be keeping you out of the team next week Thomas.

I don't really want my photo on there! Photos never do me justice ya know.... As they always seem to catch my face in them - Before Frew puts it!!

Can't we put pictures of random/funny people on there? For Browny - we could put a picture of, Browny?

Be aware gentleman i am bringing the camera on sunday to get photos of you all to go on players profiles on yellow jersey.Will try to get action photos as well

We are now on www.yellowjersey.net

That probably applies to both you and me too...

Apparently Henwick lost 3-0 to Chav Friend, so I dunno if the other result are correct or not?!

These results just about sum up the league!

Bayer 0 - 5 Hampstead Norreys

Henwick 2 - 1 Travellers Friend

Newbury Post Office 3 - 4 Monument

Newthatch 2 - 3 Westwood Academy

Paggies Bar 2 - 4 Hermitage Reserves

Ok mate, just wondered.

i keep applying for one and they still have not sent me it,i will keep trying Matthew

Boss,

When are you going to get us a pass word for that site?

G'day Shane. Good to hear from you on the other side of the world. None of us are jealous you know...

This is Westwoods write up from the game on Sunday - on that Yellow Jersey site.

Shefford out-muscle poor Westwood

Attendance: 15

Man of the match: Simon Wolfenden

Team Formation: 4-4-2

Westwood slumpped to defeat at the hands of a work-man-like Shefford outfit. From the opening whistle Shefford battled hard, and closed down the Westwood players at every oppertunity, and this clearly didn't suit, with Westwood loosing posession on numberous occasions throughout the game.

The hosts scored early in each half, the first the defence allowed their striker to turn and run un-challenged through to net, the second, a free header after a corner was half-cleared. Westwood only tested Shefford's keeper once during the whole game, with a good shot by Dan Collins, which the keeper did very well to palm round the post.

Benham Office Supplies Man of the Match - Simon Wolfenden

Congrats boys it's a great rise up the table and good to hear the news reported on Aussie Sports Channels over here. Shame no game this week to keep the momentum going but that just means more effort in training this week and next I guess. I'm doing my bit over here by drinking beer and eating prawns. If you can't see exactly how that's helping that's ok, in time you will.

Good to see from the table that nobody is unbeatable too. Sky's the limit.

Off for another stubbie. These short girls are easy pickings.

Well played again sunday boys,great team effort battled all over the pitch worked well for each other and played some nice stuff at times.The passing and movement was good making it easy for each other.The back for was an organised solid unit and Woody chipped in with a couple of good saves and it is good to see his confidence rising with every game.
Plus i feel that ref was the best one we have had all season.

SHEFFORD GET TO GRIPS ON DIVISION ONE....

...and we've only just started.

1 Hampstead Norreys Played 6 Points 16
2 Newbury Post Office 5 12
3 Hermitage Reserves 5 10
4 Shefford 6 9
5 Monument 6 9
6 Henwick 4 7
7 Newthatch 5 7
8 Westwood Academy 5 6
9 Travellers Friend 6 6
10 Bayer 4 0
11 Paggies Bar 4 0

Frewy if you do manage to score with a screamer on Sunday I'll give you a useful tip, try gagging her first then she won't make too much noise.

Utterly amazing Matty? I guess someone needs to be if I'm not there to take the piss out of all those slow bastards.

Tough game on Sunday boys. Home (again) V's Westwood - They have a few new players - couple from Cold Ash. But we've got things going now and there's certainly no reason why we shouldn't turn them over.

It starts so late these days it's an easy mistake...

They also inspired me to be totally and utterly amazing again thou.

No Frewy you can't claim MOM for the 2nd round as our defence stood solid and kept a clean sheet so it will go to 1 of the back 4 and even if you backed up Matts claim of a hat-trick the story would be so far-fetched that nobody would believe you.....now if you said he missed 3 sitters that would be different.

No.

A few more results like that in the Berks and Bucks and theres no reason why we can't go all the way...

Indeed Mr Hill you are correct and we do have a bye in the 2nd round of the Berks and Bucks so we are on a roll.
Sorry if my congratulations were not up to your standard Mr Hill but Sillsy told me what to write so you better sort it out with him next time you see him.

Gents
Having had a Bye in round 1 of the Berks and Bucks Cup, it looks like we have a Bye in round 2 as well. Wooooo! Hoooo! we're on a cup run! Long live SheffordFC!

Gents,

Good result on Sunday, good to see you are missing the 2002/2003 Div Two Champions Central Midfielders...!

I've decided not to continue the Sven debate for now, we can hold off for a while I think.

Nige, you are a legend, there is a shrine set up for you in the middle of Reading, pointing to London as you will be returning there. Oh hang on, that's Queen Victoria. Sorry, I was thinking of you in your cross dressing days.

All should visit http://www.wimp.com/invading/
it's a small video, safe for work. Unless you work for Americans.

Well done for sunday boys another good win. I heard a rumour that ghenghis hit the bar with a screamer!!! was it another miss hit effort from 10 yards or one of mikes many attempted own goals!!!! i am missing footie so much i am even starting to dream about it very scary cant wait to get back and join in with the banter or browny bashing as some may call it [sorry mate!!!!] attempted to kick a ball last wek and had a slight reaction so i am not planning on training again till next week and go from there. I feel like sol cambell at the moment. Cant believe the CAT was here i still remember the half way lob those were the days!!!! good to hear from you mate looking forward to when you get back so we can have a BIG piss up

Cheers Smurf don't go overboard with the compliments will you. I think it was Ghengis' pre-match talk that swung it for us!!!!

Well done yesterday boys

Hello all my english soccer buddies, how are we all doing. I was sitting here in jolly Orlando when i remebered about this old bloggy thingy, thought i would drop by and say hello. I hope you are all well and the team are doing good. I miss football too much and american football does not cut the mustard.
The half way line hero,
Nige.

The problem, Mr Sills, is not what has happened, but what should have happened. We were better than Portugal, we had the best team in that tournament and should have won that game - even with the refereeing decision and the injury, we should have won, fact.

Another fact, we had the most attack-minded midfield in that competition and in that game and Sven told the whole squad to play defensively - meaning Portugal had the freedom to come forwards and put pressure on a midfield that don't know how to defend - meaning they scored goals. If we'd attacked them and played our game, we'd have scored or at least stopped them coming forward and we'd have won the match.

You can hide behind your stats all you like. Cos you've got no silverware to put in the way instead.

Sillsy in the space of 2 days you've managed to diss SWINDON (even if it may be deserved) and now you announce that you're 'pro Sven'. I know of a very good hospital...I mean hotel that would readily take you in, they pad the walls for your comfort and they invite students from around the county to come and peer at you through a glass window and take notes of your babbling drivel. Can't wait to see you again 'ol buddy!

Sven, England's most successful manager, statistically.

We've topped the group, qualified for every tournament he has managed us in, lost in one to Brazil, the eventual champions, and the other on penalties after a terrible referring decision AND losing our best player through injury. We've only lost one other competitive game under him, (I think). We managed to win against Austria with our captain sent off, our centre back off injured, and Rooney out, against a team who came to put 11 behind the ball. Not passionate enough? Lets bring back Keegan, he had passion, that worked... Substitutions a bit dodgy? Who else could make a good substitution with Jenas, Crouch et al on the bench?

Still, look at the way all the other teams are flying through. France sneaking in in the last game, Spain, Turkey, Czech Republic and Norway in the Playoffs, Denmark and Euro Champions Greece out, Everyone remember the hanging Bobby Robson got in the build up to World Cup 1990? Did ok there I recall.

Ahem. That's my thoughts on the matter. I'm off to Belgium, have a wonderful weekend, good luck on Sunday...

Interesting comments there Frew... Sometimes I wonder what the hell goe's on in your noggin' !!

Browny is the one Matt has sucked off and Crouch is the one we would all rather suck off than see again in an England shirt.

Although I agree, it's hard not to play Lamps and Stevie G, to have one sat on the bench would look crazy!

Sven hasn't a hope in hell when it comes to criticism.

If he plays them both in the world cup and we lose a game the media will go for him, if he drops one the media will slate him. I be happy for him to quit, but I'm not going to winge about him for the next 6 months.

Big Ledley has definitely put himself in the frame after last nights performance, and with his performances this season, which is great for options.

Sometime I mistake Peter Crouch for Brownie.

Alright Frewy 'caarm down! caarm down son!'

SMACK HIM SMURF !!!!!!

Is that how you go about building team spirit Mr Smurf Boss man?

SMACK HIM HILLY !!!!!!!

Mind like an Elephant? oh god, there are so many jokes I could make....but I better not, so I'll just say that Hilly, you are the best footballer at Shefford, have a great few weeks, mate.



Phew.

when you get back not me I'm staying here......its very late!

Sillsy!!! I have a mind like an elephant and won't be forgetting your little dig at my beloved club so enjoy your holiday while it lasts and I very much look forward to seeing you when I get back.

It certainly was a nice looking injury. Reminded me of my last trip to Bangkok, a nice bruise surrounding a small neat gash... You can't count it as a goal unless you scored a goal. Football has a set of complicated rules about that. Perhaps you should phone up Blatter on Thursday and seek his advice on whether a decent enough injury counts as a goal. You never know you might find them trialling it in League 2 next season...

A couple of links for you to end/start the day with...

http://www.geocities.com/james3jr/ollie.html

and

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Swindon-Town-Football-Club-For-Sale-Going-Cheap_W0QQitemZ8702572986QQcategoryZ2885QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Lucky Im going away, Hilly might have forgotten the second one by the time I come home...

I am also back for the 6th November game, but will be in a bizarre world of jet lag and remembering the last time I turned up at a game having just got back from holiday when Genghis asked me to get changed cos we had players dropping like flies and then left me on the bloody bench in the freezing rain and didn't use me. I decided then that I would shag his alsation.

Thankfully I warmed up with a beer in the pub afterwards and you lot won the game anyway so I thought no more of it.

I think setting unbeaten targets is silly (sillsy?) - I think you should just go into every game knowing that no one is good enough to automatically beat you, but that you do need to perform to stop it happening. We know we can beat teams in the div above us, but also lose to teams in the div below us - it's all about how you perform there and then, not how good you actually are.

Good luck for the next few weeks guys I'll be thinking about you. It's not true.

Im not sure Im going to be able to go now, as my sides have just split so much from laughing at your previous comment.

I'll be returning to the bench on the 6th of November, by which time someone in the squad could have decided whether I am a left or right winger, or a centre midfielder. Hell, I'll play anywhere. Except in goal, or defence. And probably best not to put me up front.

We should win the next few games anyway.... When you back from holiday John?

I know we say this every season, but it does seem like everyone is beating everyone (except for Post Office...how?!), so I'm going to stick my neck on the line, and say that if we go unbeaten between now and the end of the season, we will win the league.


Phew.

For some reason our results not showing? !!

Hampstead Norreys 5 - 2 Travellers Friend

Henwick 4 - 6 Newbury Post Office

Newthatch 4 - 3 Monument

Paggies Bar v Shefford

Westwood Academy 3 - 1 Hermitage Reserves

I've got his CD - Blatter's Greatest Speeches & Opinions 92-2004 if anyone wants a copy. It's got a bonus track of out-takes. Quite funny, makes me laugh just thinking about it...

"The stronger European nations have to qualify the same way as any other county does"

Hahaha.

Thanks Dave but I think I'll err, give that a miss this week...

Lads,

If you havent already done so, I would like to point you in the direction of Football 365 today, a couple of cracking articles on England, one from John Nicholson, and then a Mediawatch special on the Sunday Telegraph. Read at your pleasure...

Well played yesterday boys played some nice football at times looked for the easy ball,talked to each other and worked well for each other.(Even Lewis)We got it on the deck and let the ball do the work
They might not have been the best side we will play but you still have to beat teams like that.
We switched off for about 10 minutes and let them have a sniff of the game but we then woke back up and dominated.
We looked up for it a lot more and the passion and desire seemed to come back

Finally, we have remembered how to play football! As soon as we got the early goal, we knocked it around really well, none of the usual Shefford Panic. Bit of a dodgy period in the first half, but recovered well with the help of their keeper!

Yep - spot on yesterday lads.

Results I have heard.

Post Office 6 - 4 Henwick

Westwood 3 -1 Hermitage Res

Both probably quite unexpected. Although I know Westwood have a few new players.

Congratulations on yesterday's result gents - sorry I turned up just too late to see any of the match but I enjoyed my pint of orange juice and lemonade after the game.

Nice to get a good strong result against a weak team, that's all anyone can ask of you. Points on the board so I look forward to seeing the other results while I'm away in Oz...

Paggies bar - they've played 2 lost 2 so far so in effect are in a slightly stronger position than us.

That said, looking at the table, if Post Office are top with 3 wins from 3 then we already know we have nothing to be afraid of. In seasons gone by (except the one where we won it) we'd have always been happy to lose by one goal to the team at the top of the table. So now we've done that to the teams 1st and 2nd. And we know that in both those games if we'd been at our best we'd have won them. So we need to look at our place towards the bottom and a) believe that it's not where we should be but b) accept that that's down to us, not bad luck, not bad refereeing, but the way we've played so far, otherwise we'll leave it longer before turning it around.

Paggies bar have had two bad results, but Trav Friend had a shocking result against a team we beat and then they beat us, so anyone going in expecting to just play 90 minutes and let Dave and Miller put a few goals in had better think again. JT set up our first goal last week from well inside our own half so it shows that everyone has to be at their best for the full 90.

Hello everyone Big game this sunday we really need to get are season back on track after a poor start from what i have heard it is a lack of confidence that is are undoing maybe instead of playing are natraul passing game we start to panick and hit the long balls and lets face it we have too many good players to do that.I think we need some luck to go are way but we are not going to get that unless we keep working hard. I am having a frustrating time with groin injuries at the moment. I would love to be out there turning things around i am hoping to train next week and go from there. I will be there sunday though who have we got???

Another 3 games and we need to turn this table up side down.

http://www.yellowjersey.net/LeagueTablesResults.aspx?LeagueId=85

You have to train those throw-ins in. It's not something you can just do naturally. You have to have at least 3 people (1 being the thrower) who know what's going on... It's the old "out and in".

The thrower has at least two options to throw the ball to, but sometimes no more so that the area doesn't get crowded. Both options should be marked (if not just throw it to them) but then one will literally run out of the space they're occupying. If the marker follows, another player simply runs into the space left, giving themselves either a yard or two on their marker or having no marker at all, leaving time to get get the ball under control and do something with it. If the marker doesn't follow the person running "out" then he's automatically free to throw the ball to.

It's not that difficult, just takes a bit of practice and understanding. The understanding is that if you're one of the first people to offer yourself to the thrower, it's likely that you're not going to be the one getting the ball. But it's likely to be you who's going to start the whole thing off and run out of the space you're in. If you're 2nd on the scene you're likely to be the one getting the ball or needing to run out of the space as well. If you're 3rd of 4th on the scene then you need to be aware not to get too close too soon cos you'll be running in to fill up the space left when 1 and 2 run out. If you're 5th on the scene then you're probably just getting in the way.

Totally agree with what your saying Dave. It's not always the killer ball (and I know that I'm more guilty than anyone for that) that stops us playing decent footy, at times it's just a big hoof aimed at no-one which by-passes half the team and gives them possession back. Sometimes that's the only option under pressure, but sometimes we should be trying to move it about.

And to be honest, it's harsh, but at the moment Lewis isn't interested in chasing any balls/moving for any. So the only way is to feet to bring him into the game.

As for throws on's, your right again (as always David), we're all guilty of it. But we're all also guilty of not moving/trying to find space to help each other.

I spend most of the 90 minutes in the same position as him, can't ask for much more than that, surely.

Loads of people are just walking past that bloke, not even talking a second look!

I bet that's not the only home made video you got either!

Good session last night boys. Worked hard - especially the white team that played about 6 games in a row!

Everyone was totally knackered which i think shows our fitness levels could be better. Hopefully the indoor 2 touch, pass and move - will also improve the quality of football on Sundays as it did over the last few years.

Big game Sunday, we cannot afford to lose, but we're going to have to work hard for each other if we want to win. The fact they have been thrashed over the past couple of weeks means nothing, Chav Friend picked up there first points against us on Sunday after conceding 6/7 goals a game previous weeks.

We all know we're capable of playing better, so let's get out there and do it Sunday.

Dunno if anyone is on blooger today, but just in case.

Training 8.30pm at Park House School, don't be late! - £3 each.

My my, hasn't it been a busy couple of days on Blogger?

I think Crouch is shit, but it might give us a different option, and we all know, deep down in our hearts, that the best crosser of a ball in the world plays, usually, on Englands Right Wing.

As for Sunday, it becoming a worrying pattern, although when Shane says 'then came running at Smurfy', Im assuming Smurfy was in goal...

Anyone want a ticket to Man Utd vs Lille on the 18th Oct?

What that says to me gents is that this division is wide open and if we wake up quickly enough (i.e. now) that it's there for the taking. We just need to realise how good we can be if we stop thinking that we're good enough to get away with minimal application.

Weekend results

Monument 2 Westwood 1
Post Office 3 Bayer 1
Newthatch 1 Hampstead Norreys 1
Paggies Bar 1 Henwick 6

A Crouch fan that is...

I'm not a Peter Crouch. I may be goofy and shit, but I'm not tall!

I'm not a Crouch either, although I think he will improve for Liverpool - sometime. He certainly shouldn't be in the England squad, let alone team.

I'd be happy to play Bent up front for Saturdays game. Young, lively, in form with a point to prove. Defoe is also playing fairly well and would give his all if played, but I wouldn't play them both. Owens prob not even match fit yet, and isn't in form, but I don't know who I'd play with the instead really.

I'm not a Danny Murphy fan at all, but the blokes playing really well, and I think he deserved a spot in the squad, and I'm annoyed Smith has got in infront of him as theres no way he's proved to be a natural midfield player yet.

I'm getting bored of Sven, not a fan of managers with no passion. Although I'll let Coppell off as we're flying at the moment! I'd much prefer to have a manager that will scream at the players wondering around the pitch thinking about there bank accounts.

What is the world coming to? Peter Crouch to start up front in a fully competitive and downright crucial World Cup qualifying match?

Add that to the fact that the Communist Party appears to be guaranteeing the survival, growth and arguably the prosperity, of the automobile industry of Shanghai, but only for as long as the party rulers deem fit - after which the companies will be at the mercy of the global market and potentially unfit to compete with any credible bite, and you've got some major questions to ask yourself.

One of which is, as one of Crouch's harshest critics (and considering he's playing alongside the ineffective Owen), who else would I choose instead of both of them? It's not an easy question to answer at the moment, with other English striking 'talent' all bit-part players in the Premiership. Defoe and Bent? Too embarassing to pick more midfielders and stick some of them up front? Cole and Wright-Phillips? I don't envy him the decision at all.

A good assessment of the game there.

I also should have had a penalty. Although the ref and so it seems half our team thought I dived! The bastard actually tripped me up on that one on one! Whether I would have got there or not will never be known.

Sillsy it was weird and I got to see it all from the sidelines rather than actually being involved on the pitch, which must have been weirder.

I turned up a few minutes after kick off and it was a bit end to end but with neither side really troubling either stand-in keeper. Their attacks kept running straight through to Smurf without danger and we were a little limited to longer shots. That said, there was a feeling that we were more dangerous and we were playing more footy in their half than they were in ours.

Then we had a few more dangerous attacks while they didn't and eventually JT fed the ball through to Dave Lewis who's first touch was poor but he changed his plan and fed a nice ball out to Rob instead. Rob travelled a bit and delivered a nice cross which bounced to the far post and Andy Miller hit it at full pelt first time with his left foot up around hip-height. It wasn't an easy finish at all but he caught it perfectly and it flew across the goal into the net. Keeper didn't even move.

Stayed that way to half time and we were looking well worth the lead at that point. Another goal after half time and they'd have fallen apart for sure. Trouble is, they got it. Not long in and their centre midfielder got the ball with time and space but still a long way out. If he'd taken that shot 10 times more he wouldn't have got it on target, but this time it flew very nicely into the top corner. Can't really argue with it, could suggest that we hadn't shut him down quickly enough but that would be being a bit harsh, he just hit it right.

Then shortly after that they had a long ball which we failed to deal with properly and it left their striker with an easy slot past Smurf - bit of a soft goal to be honest - but we responded well to it and nobody let their heads drop.

So we started creating a few chances again, Rob came close, Matt came close and eventually they handled in the box and Dave Lewis smacked the penalty home to draw us level. Felt sure after that that we'd go on and grab a 3rd but they got a corner and their tallest player was unmarked for a free header which he fluked in just under the bar. After that we didn't really have any chances to get an equaliser but the worst part was that although we hadn't played badly at all that they seemed more keen in the latter part of the match - almost as though we'd accepted the loss and were just playing out time. Strange. Could easily have won it, same as the other matches, just haven't...

By fuck i was stiff yesterday i had a job to move

It's on a 'need to know' basis Sillsy, so we'll be keeping our 3-2 defeat a secret.

Does someone want to let me in on what happened then? I gather we lost 3-2...

I'm sure we will.

I don't say this lightly and I don't really include myself in it, but I think that right now we've got the strongest squad the club has ever had.

I love you guys.

I can confirm that it was Frewy ages ago. I was hid in your shed tossing off to the ladyboy porn when I heard someone approaching. Had to tuck things in and stand there looking Thai so that Frew thought I was a life-size ladyboy-doll. The things he did to me that night. In fact that's where most of the cake went. Next time can you get spongecake rather than fruitcake, big chunks of pineapple don't half chaff on the way in.

Lacklustre yesterday, yet another game lost by just one goal, yet another team playing like they were a goal down against us when in fact they were a goal up. Performance wasn't actually that bad at all, some good football played at times and rarely looked 'under the cosh'. Whether they wanted to win more than we did I'm not sure, but they certainly seemed a little more enthusiastic in the second half, whether they'd just scored or just conceded.

I don't think it's a question of letting our heads drop as I think we stuck together well each time they scored. Maybe it's more that we've lost the belief that we can beat these teams - and we can - I didn't see the Norreys game but we can easily beat Post Office and Trav Friend, just need to keep trying.

Time for people to stand up and be counted out there, too many good players hiding yesterday. Easy for me to say when I was on the sidelines cos I've got a holiday coming up :-) but you know what I mean. That squad, playing the exact same footy you played, was good enough to win that game.

David - Did you really want that bit of cake? A lot?

Enough to break into my shed on Friday night and steal 'all' my footy gear? Just to make sure I wouldn't score?

Either you get me a big slice of cake, or I'm handing your name into the police!!

- I hope the groom had a better result than us yesterday!

Wanted 1 Goalkeeper no experience neccessary but would be helpful.
I have ummed and aagghhed i few times about playing myself but have decided against it.

The only person I could think of was JT's brother, but I text him and he plays for Hermitage now!

Lewis might rather play in goal than sit on the bench.

Kung Frew - I have printed off your statement, and this is now a contact.

...ooooh I love wedding cake.

If you need me I will play. I'd rather not if I don't have to, but I will if needed.

The above offer comes with the reminder that in the past having been in goal for such memorable victories as 1-0 over Hermitage Reserves (the game that won the league) and 1-0 over Thames Valley Sports (the game that beat Thames Valley Sports) I subsequently went in goal twice last season and conceded 13 goals. You figure it out, but I'm okay to play in goal if there's no realistic alternative.

Hero.

Well lads we have a bit of a situation on our hands with 2 goalkeepers signed on and neither of them available.

Suggestions on a postcard

Poor old 'David' - he always manages to do this, gets his chance in the squad, puts in a stormer and then has to miss the next game or two so starts all over again. The secret is to be available two games in a row, or more.

Chav Friend on Sunday then - dunno what to expect from it. They were quite a strong side last year but at the end we put one over on them without too much effort, it wasn't our best performance but we still rolled em over. This year they got tonked by Newthatch who we beat apparently fairly comfortably but you never know what squads were available etc.

I'm hoping to come down and watch at least the first half, not playing for a while though as I'm within weeks of a much-needed holiday...

It's quite weird, when I read your posts, I read them in your dodgy scouse accent.

You've given Crabbman his place back cheaply Frew!

You can't miss out on all those nice cars at a wedding thou...

Sorry lads, I didnt want to let Frew on, I really didnt, but it was the only way to get him to agree to give me my hub caps back.

Ah, the old ones are the best.

Last night was, shamefully, the first time I can remember leaving a pub during a match. I went at half time, deciding that I didnt want to waste any more of my life watching that pathetic excuse for football. So I went home, and ate a sandwich, containing Ham, lettuce, and Pickle. It was nice, actually.

He is. He really is. Sadly, gay.

And did I miss something earlier on, was I making a smutty joke about Smurf wanting to 'come in Matt's dinghy' and Matt responded by saying he wanted to negotiate "a pint per goal"???

I have mental images in my head that will take a psychologist years to get rid of. Years.

Looks like 'David' was quite passionate about the game last night then. Wonder what Dave Frew thought of it all.

Fraid I didn't see any of it, but from what I heard on the radio this morning it was a heap of pants but Liverpool should have had a penalty. Group stage Champions League is dull, simple as that - even if last night had been a 5-4 thriller it would still only have been 3 points to someone and no points to someone else.

Sooner they get into the knockout stages where a disallowed penalty really matters there and then, the better.

I'm up for a night out, can it be on a Saturday night? I can come and watch you lot play the next morning. November sounds good, can't make first weekend though.

Ha ha!!

Well,

I'd have to discuss contract first. I'd need more than a pint a goal!

That's not what he meant when he said he wanted to come in your dinghy...

Why? Are you not invited to Shanes 50th either?

You can do the rowing.

Big crowd tonight. 25,926.

Reading to win 2-0 Witnessed by a whopping 23,174. Doyle to score first.
19th November sounds good a week after my birthday

Matt can i come in your dinghy

Probably not quite how you planned it.

Huge game tonight. We're off to Saints V's Rfc

Predictions:

Saints 1 - 3 Blue Army

Harry to quit next Monday.

My 30'th was fucking great led in bed in pain with a broken leg taking loads of painkillers so i couldnt even drink.Great

Sailing round the isle of Wight in my dingy.

Going out with my mates. What are you doing that night instead?

I started worrying about turning 30 when I was 15, turned me to drink you know...

I've only got 6 years left to prepare myself.

What are doing for your 50th Shane?

Turning 30 was a bitch - the worst part was the run up to it, once it's your actual birthday it doesn't seem to matter anymore.

So it's a question of the 18th without Adam or the 19th without Hilly. Which one of you will buy us the most beers?

I can't plan that far ahead. You tell me the date and I'll plan around it.

My favorite player: Got to be the great Dane - Jan Molby.

It's an art to run with a big belly. Ay Smurf.

Sat 19th better for me as im away on the friday.

Favorite player has to be Tomas Repka.....Awesome!

It was a very good feeling winning on Sunday I'd almost forgotten what it felt like! Let's hope it's the start of a decent run in the league aswell. Fri 18th would be better for me as it looks ike I'll be drowning my sorrows on the Sat as I turn 30 the following weekend! I'm sure Smurf and Shane can sympathise with that... if Shane can remember that far back.

Looks like we're heading for Friday 18th or Saturday 19th November then. I don't know who other than Tony works on a Saturday, or whether people have a set preference for the night being a Friday or a Saturday. Why not let us all know here on the Shefford FC blog? While you're at it, let us know who your favourite player is and we'll post the results on BBC's Newsround.

Shaner, are you following me around? I too am away for much of October, returning on November 5th, and Im at a wedding on the 12th, so the week after would be good for me.

I've already been on Soccer AM.

Thats a lie, I havent really.

Good idea... Did you send a picture of Browny to show we really would be entertainment?

Can anyone kick it that far? !!

So if the Lakeside Superbowl Division One was canceled today, I'd get the top goal scorer trophy? Cool.

Who needs Lewis anyway. He might score 35 goals a season, but I ran more than him.

I am back in the country early in the morning on the 5th November. So, if you were a bunch of evil muthas we could go for that night. However the following Saturday or the Friday or Saturday after that - so 12th, 18th or 19th are better options for me.

Browny I've been in the Allsports audience it's a good laugh. I won't tell you too much about it cos I don't wanna ruin the evening, but I was surprised at how small the studio is in real life.

If we go for the 18th or 19th then it gives us a month before the xmas do which isn't too bad...

Matt you are top scorer as Grundy,Lewis and Shane scored in the first game.
I have just e-mailed Soccer Am offering them our services to be shamed embarrased or just sheer entertainment.Also suggested a grassroots football crossbar challenge with us being the first to try.
You never know they might take us up but i doubt it as im shit with words

Miller might have got off with Mark, but certainly didn't...

Sorry, that's poor.

Who scored in the first game of the season?

I might be top goal scorer !!

I noticed the All Sports show was on when I got in from work the other week, about 6pm ish. Was it not getting the ratings or something?

Novemeber sounds like a good shout, as you said gives everyone plenty of notice. Im like you matt got a lot goin on in October, like going to see the lovely Helen Chamberlin in the Audience of Soccer AM Allsports Show, Birthday present from work. Nice.

Good result on Sunday chaps good to see we are getting things back on track and can still score goals withput relying on Mr lewis. Good to see Matt and Miller get off the mark.

We could wait till November mate, what date are you back? I have a fair bit on in October anyway. Plus that gives everyone plenty of notice.

Sounds good to me - been a while since I had a few beers with you lot. Am within 3 weeks of my holiday now so won't be available to play for a few Sundays - though should be able to come and watch and shout and stuff. Ever since I broke my leg a month before going to the Maldives Julie's not let me play too close to going away anywhere.

Obviously I wear the trousers and could decide to play if I wanted to. What I say goes. Put my foot down and all that. Decision is final end of conversation. But I ask you, who will wash my pants if she doesn't? It's not the best opening line when meeting women - "If I piss my wife off will you wash my pants?" - believe me.

Sounds like you guys have got it back on track anyway.

When for the night out then? I'm away for a massive chunk of October and the first bit of November, but don't worry if I can't make it. I'll be happy enough in the sunshine.

We were saying yesterday that we need to have night out fairly soon. One in between now and the Xmas one. And Mr Lamb should definitely come. Would be good to see you mate. Seems ages ago now since you headed to the hills.

2 from Matt and the third from Miller

Who scored the goals?

My bloody legs ache! I'm still carrying a bit of holiday weight I think.

Everyone deserves a lot of credit for yesterdays performance. We set out a plan before the game to close them down quickly and give them no time on the ball, and everyone worked to try and do it.

Our style wasn't exactly pretty and was a little route one, but it was obvious that was causing them a lot a problems, and they struggled with my pace (!!), so it was working for us.

Superb performance from the big scouser in the middle of the park, won every 50/50 and 60/40 against. Almost got in one fight, but then he always does!

I can see how they scored goals to win the league last year, there two strikers were
very quick and potentially pretty skillful, although the defense didn't allow them time to try anything.

Maybe a cup run on the cards... I bloody hope so!

Hehe know what you mean about picking the team - it doesn't get any easier after crap performances either cos then whoever you drop you look like you're blaming them for it. Still, my motto is... "not my problem." :-)

Bit of both Mr Bellamy,we actually looked like we wanted to win we were at them from the very start and not our usual slow starters we battled all over the park and deserved to win.All in all a great team performance we had still had a few flashes were we seem to panick with the ball but the hassle and bite that we had was pleasing and mixed in with some good finishes as well.
I'm so looking forward to picking the team next week ( Not )

Had to take Atkins off there was no way he was getting a pork pie to go with his 2 pints and a pack of peanuts.

Glad i didnt have the same deal with Grundy he did more nuts than KP.

Well done boys

Sounds like something occurred yesterday then lads? 3-1 win over the team everybody secretly thought were gonna be one of the stronger teams in the league? And their goal was a bit soft apparently whereas we had 3 good finishes? No Dave Lewis and no Dave Crabbe?

So what was the difference then, ability or attitude?

Corr that's lucky. Sillsy almost had to play then.

13 and 2 of those are goalkeepers,but i wouldnt want to play anyone who is injured and end up making them worse.

Sounds like we might be a little low on numbers for Sunday? That means each player will need to go above and beyond the call.

I have to go now cos I need a wee.

Good luck on sunday lads, looking on results new thatch should be a tough challenge but we are more than capable of turning in a good performace to get a win!

I'm not playing smurf as my foot is still sore from saturdays game i'll be there to watch though, Come on the shefford massive!!

So Crabbman, does that mean you've been missing training so you can play on Sunday? Or your not playing Sunday, but will still be there to watch?

I think you should play.

Crabbeman, if I had been reading it out loud, I would have nearly dies reading your last post! Punctuate man! Here are some full stops for you to use .........

Smurfy, if you weren't the manager, I would point out at your team got mauled by us lot last night, with you only starting getting goals back when it went pitch black and our goal was under the floodlights. I would say that at times it was embarrassing with our swift passing movement and show boating, and that you called it a day by pleading for a draw.

Shane, bastard.

Matty, I didn't want you to feel left out, so, erm, I'll tell you I got Brian Lara Cricket 2005 in a half price sale at HMV today.

But you're the manager, so I won't say any of that.

Hey lads sorry i havent been at training recently i have been resting my groin as it has been giving me stick since the start of the season its not fair on you lot or myself if i cannot give 200% on a sunday so i am gonna have to sit it out this week will be there sunday though looks like it will be a tough game but we usually raise are performance against the better teams so im sure if everybody gives there all we can turn around a bad start

Ignore Atkins we decided on no training next week as it is pointless and then start fresh on the 5th indoors.

By the way my team won last night

Arh - your new jobs shit then!!

You didn't miss much, poor turn out again and there were loads of people training/playing up there.

We have the hall at Park House 8.30pm - 9.30pm Wednesdays. Starting on the 5th October. I think it was decided we would train next week and start a fresh on the 5th, obviously this needs to be confirmed with Smurf.

A few of us can't train next week anyhow as we're off to sunny Southampton to watch Rfc.

Hi lads,

Apologies for skipping training last night. Was stuck in London talking to Rachel Stevens, so you can take my apology and stick it right up...

I bet Genghis turns up reasonably quiet on Sunday morning. These international stars don't like the wet windy evenings up North do they?

...and then paid for the bar, put his rubbish in the bin provided, and gave a large sum of money to a local charity as he is such a generous man.

Oh Dear Oh Dear Oh Dear Those comments could sort out the problem with too many midfielders

He probably ate it before he had paid for it.

Plus he waited to see how many people were in the stadium before guessing. Cheat.

I bet you ate it before you got to the doors in the shop anyway !!!

Attendance was 6941 Tony was closest with 7324 but was over so i keep the Mars bars.Training tonight at Henwick 7pm Sharp

Can't training indoors tonight, so are we putting plan B into action?

I need to do some running!