I just can't believe that out of all the games this season, Smurf got sent off when I was already wearing a goalkeeper's kit and ready to go on at half time anyway. Hopefully that'll be our kind of luck for the rest of the season.

Their striker congratulated me on 'that save' but I think he was just trying to flatter himself about his shot. If you don't put it straight at my beautiful face I might not put my hands in the way...