Haha well there's not much I can do then. I can talk you through your fluke of a goal against Norreys and then through my belter if you like...?

I can see our home pitch from my desk, and as I may be working on Sunday instead of playing footy then I might get myself a megaphone so I can give you hell if you score early on and wander around acting like Charlie Big Potato again.

ebay here I come...