Macchew: Northcroft are doing an outdoor 5-a-side league if you're interested... I'll bring the paperwork on Thursday night.

I reckon as Browny rudely and amazingly interrupted and therefore ruined John's lapdance, he should therefore replace the product/service himself and perform for John for the length of any song of my choosing and in a venue of my choosing.

I reckon "Gaybar" in the Tap & Spile.