Too many of these Bellamy.... :o)
Monday, March 17, 2008
For the benefit of JS.
A record breaking 13-1 victory for Shefford. They said bad weather can be a great leveller, well tell that to striker Shane Bellamy who scored all 13 goals for Shefford, each one better than the other and using a different part of his body. He'll be walking gingerly after number seven. Nobody else even got an assist, as Bellamy worked hard to get the ball for himself each time, often deep within his own six-yard box, before one-twoing the ball with himself up the pitch, dinking it over midfielders, nutmegging defenders and screaming at his own team mates to GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY before drilling, placing, heading, punting, spinning, volleying and even drop-kicking the ball home.
Even the one goal conceded was a Bellamy own goal struck with enough aplomb to warrant a round of applause by the referee, both linesmen and the four teams playing on the pitches either side of pitch 7 at Henwick, now to be known as Pitch Bellers.
The opposition substitutes refused to go on and Shefford manager Smurf had to be sedated after his 8th orgasm midway through the first half.
Shane Bellamy was unavailable for comment, though the Newbury Weekly News is rumoured to be giving the story front page coverage with the headline simply, "Shane" and no other words on the page. Record sales are expected.
A record breaking 13-1 victory for Shefford. They said bad weather can be a great leveller, well tell that to striker Shane Bellamy who scored all 13 goals for Shefford, each one better than the other and using a different part of his body. He'll be walking gingerly after number seven. Nobody else even got an assist, as Bellamy worked hard to get the ball for himself each time, often deep within his own six-yard box, before one-twoing the ball with himself up the pitch, dinking it over midfielders, nutmegging defenders and screaming at his own team mates to GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY before drilling, placing, heading, punting, spinning, volleying and even drop-kicking the ball home.
Even the one goal conceded was a Bellamy own goal struck with enough aplomb to warrant a round of applause by the referee, both linesmen and the four teams playing on the pitches either side of pitch 7 at Henwick, now to be known as Pitch Bellers.
The opposition substitutes refused to go on and Shefford manager Smurf had to be sedated after his 8th orgasm midway through the first half.
Shane Bellamy was unavailable for comment, though the Newbury Weekly News is rumoured to be giving the story front page coverage with the headline simply, "Shane" and no other words on the page. Record sales are expected.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Perfect hat trick.
League table is all over the place, as are the results.
http://www.football.mitoo.co.uk/LeagueTab.cfm?TblName=Matches&DivisionID=2479&LeagueCode=NDSFL2007
Good to hear that the team wanted it this week. We'll need to want it again on Sunday against Clocktower, whose results range from the sublime to the ridiculous - as do ours really. We're a long way from being out of contention, with 2 games in hand on top spot and still to play them again yet. Really can't stress how much easier it is to motivate yourself when you're already top, so we're at a disadvantage being where we are in the table, which means we're underdogs, which means the pressure's all on them, which means we're favourites. I've been drinking.
League table is all over the place, as are the results.
http://www.football.mitoo.co.uk/LeagueTab.cfm?TblName=Matches&DivisionID=2479&LeagueCode=NDSFL2007
Good to hear that the team wanted it this week. We'll need to want it again on Sunday against Clocktower, whose results range from the sublime to the ridiculous - as do ours really. We're a long way from being out of contention, with 2 games in hand on top spot and still to play them again yet. Really can't stress how much easier it is to motivate yourself when you're already top, so we're at a disadvantage being where we are in the table, which means we're underdogs, which means the pressure's all on them, which means we're favourites. I've been drinking.
FAO: John Sills in the absence of SB.
Hogs Head 1-3 Shefford
I'm not very good at reports so I'll just type what I can remember!
Tough game as Hogs Head are a decent side with a lot of older but very experienced players, many of which have played at a decent level.
We conceded after about 30 seconds with a combination of mix up at the back followed by poor marking allowed them to take the lead with a free header at the far post.
Fortunately we seemed to want the win this week and didn't lay down and die, but got straight back on the game and pushed forward creating a few half chances. However, we had to be on our toes as they moved the ball forward very well so a lot of hard work in the middle of the park and good defending limited them to a few chances in the first half.
We were finally rewarded with a goal about 10 mins before half time. I can't remember the build up, but the ball some how looped high into the box towards Andy Miller, the keeper started to come and then changed his mind and fortunately Miller had enough time for his brain to engage and nut it over the keepers head into an empty net.
1-1 at half time. Lewis off for The Brown Man was the only sub we had/made.
Second half was pretty similar to the first, we had to battle hard all over the pitch and continue to defend well and soak up a lot of pressure. We rode our luck a few times, with them creating a few chances albeit mainly long shots, but poor shooting and an alert Smurf kept them out.
The second came from a long ball over the top which was flicked into Miller path via one of their defenders and a one on one race between the keeper and Miller saw a outstretched (right foot) toe poke beat the keeper by inches.
They pushed forward going three up front and hit the post with a great effort that Smurf will tell you he had covered!
We also continued to attack and played some of the best football of the game creating some good chances, Brown man had the chance to reward his good performance and hard work with a pretty much open goal when the ball was squared to him at the far post, he struck it well but unfortunately for him the keeper made a superb save flying back across his goal.
Three upfront didn't work for them and we were breaking away on the counter attack and finally one paid off with the ball being squared to Miller at the far post and he slotted it away with his left peg for a perfect (or natural if you're Tony) hat-trick. Well deserved and much needed 3 points.
Hogs Head 1-3 Shefford
I'm not very good at reports so I'll just type what I can remember!
Tough game as Hogs Head are a decent side with a lot of older but very experienced players, many of which have played at a decent level.
We conceded after about 30 seconds with a combination of mix up at the back followed by poor marking allowed them to take the lead with a free header at the far post.
Fortunately we seemed to want the win this week and didn't lay down and die, but got straight back on the game and pushed forward creating a few half chances. However, we had to be on our toes as they moved the ball forward very well so a lot of hard work in the middle of the park and good defending limited them to a few chances in the first half.
We were finally rewarded with a goal about 10 mins before half time. I can't remember the build up, but the ball some how looped high into the box towards Andy Miller, the keeper started to come and then changed his mind and fortunately Miller had enough time for his brain to engage and nut it over the keepers head into an empty net.
1-1 at half time. Lewis off for The Brown Man was the only sub we had/made.
Second half was pretty similar to the first, we had to battle hard all over the pitch and continue to defend well and soak up a lot of pressure. We rode our luck a few times, with them creating a few chances albeit mainly long shots, but poor shooting and an alert Smurf kept them out.
The second came from a long ball over the top which was flicked into Miller path via one of their defenders and a one on one race between the keeper and Miller saw a outstretched (right foot) toe poke beat the keeper by inches.
They pushed forward going three up front and hit the post with a great effort that Smurf will tell you he had covered!
We also continued to attack and played some of the best football of the game creating some good chances, Brown man had the chance to reward his good performance and hard work with a pretty much open goal when the ball was squared to him at the far post, he struck it well but unfortunately for him the keeper made a superb save flying back across his goal.
Three upfront didn't work for them and we were breaking away on the counter attack and finally one paid off with the ball being squared to Miller at the far post and he slotted it away with his left peg for a perfect (or natural if you're Tony) hat-trick. Well deserved and much needed 3 points.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Certainly was. I have always wondered what the true effect of having someone like Crabbeman on the pitch really is. He was loud and positive on Sunday, each time we went behind all you could hear was him screaming encouragement - and it's always encouragement. You certainly can't say that nobody else would have been up for it if he wasn't there doing it, but he was anyway, and rarely (if ever) gives any less.
For me, psychology is a major factor in Sunday league football and Crabbeman is a big asset for us in that department. It was a pleasure to watch their player get sent off on Sunday. Not that I would encourage anyone to deliberately wind another player up to the point where you get elbowed, but that player was not a bad player at all and yet he couldn't handle it. Crabbeman never deliberately hurt him but he was 110% competitive and could handle being deliberately elbowed without reacting, whereas there player, who'd scored 2 goals already that game, couldn't handle being tackled (particularly a tackle on him as he scored - what a prick) so he went looking for Crabbeman and ended up off the pitch. You can be as good a player as you like but if you're stood giving people abuse from the sidelines and telling your mates how hard you are then you're no use to anyone. Crabbeman wins.
Not sure I've ever seen him lose in those little personal battles on the pitch. He can stop skillful players just as well as he can stop total cocks. If everyone else was half as loud we'd never go more than a goal behind.
Next week; "Kirkham. What's that about?"
For me, psychology is a major factor in Sunday league football and Crabbeman is a big asset for us in that department. It was a pleasure to watch their player get sent off on Sunday. Not that I would encourage anyone to deliberately wind another player up to the point where you get elbowed, but that player was not a bad player at all and yet he couldn't handle it. Crabbeman never deliberately hurt him but he was 110% competitive and could handle being deliberately elbowed without reacting, whereas there player, who'd scored 2 goals already that game, couldn't handle being tackled (particularly a tackle on him as he scored - what a prick) so he went looking for Crabbeman and ended up off the pitch. You can be as good a player as you like but if you're stood giving people abuse from the sidelines and telling your mates how hard you are then you're no use to anyone. Crabbeman wins.
Not sure I've ever seen him lose in those little personal battles on the pitch. He can stop skillful players just as well as he can stop total cocks. If everyone else was half as loud we'd never go more than a goal behind.
Next week; "Kirkham. What's that about?"
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
The frost may have melted but the Henwick pitches were hard underfoot as players went through the ritual studs v moulded debate before kick off. Q Associates started strongly and kept Shefford pinned in their own half for the opening 10 minutes, before the visitors began moving slightly further up the field.
A worrying sign for Shefford with Q getting a free header from a corner was turned into worse news shortly afterwards. Another corner swinging in, another free header well saved by Smurf but it fell to a Q player to finish from close range. This actually sparked Shefford into a response and the rest of the game was played pretty much in the Q half. Chance after chance went over or wide until Gareth Withers picked the ball up on the left wing, jinked inside and fired a looping shot into the top right hand corner to equalise with the last kick of the half.
Posession shared at the start of the 2nd half until Q's main player muscled the ball through nearly the entire Shefford defence. Tackles went in but none strong enough to get the ball off him and he eventually fired a low shot into the bottom corner. Shefford responded well and Withers again made an excellent run down the left to feed a neat cutback to debutant Glen Canning who only needed one touch to side foot it past the keeper.
Shefford now looked the stronger team and began limiting Q to chances, before an effort from outside the box squirmed out of Smurf's hands and dribbled over the line. The shot was accompanied moments later by a typically timed Crabbeman tackle so the scorer then spent the next 5 minutes seeking him out for retribution, which came in the form of an elbow and a second yellow card, putting Q down to ten men. Suicide against a pressing Shefford side and duly punished when a cross from (insert who crossed it here I can't remember) was headed home by Canning for his second on his debut to make it 3-3.
It was all Shefford for the last 10 minutes but the closest they came was a Crabbeman effort close in but at a tight angle and the ball wouldn't come out from under his feet.
Points shared - probably fair enough cos I haven't mentioned Q's disallowed (rightly) goal or their shot that hit the inside of the post and rebounded across the goal and out. But Shefford made more chances and scored better goals. Familiar story.
A worrying sign for Shefford with Q getting a free header from a corner was turned into worse news shortly afterwards. Another corner swinging in, another free header well saved by Smurf but it fell to a Q player to finish from close range. This actually sparked Shefford into a response and the rest of the game was played pretty much in the Q half. Chance after chance went over or wide until Gareth Withers picked the ball up on the left wing, jinked inside and fired a looping shot into the top right hand corner to equalise with the last kick of the half.
Posession shared at the start of the 2nd half until Q's main player muscled the ball through nearly the entire Shefford defence. Tackles went in but none strong enough to get the ball off him and he eventually fired a low shot into the bottom corner. Shefford responded well and Withers again made an excellent run down the left to feed a neat cutback to debutant Glen Canning who only needed one touch to side foot it past the keeper.
Shefford now looked the stronger team and began limiting Q to chances, before an effort from outside the box squirmed out of Smurf's hands and dribbled over the line. The shot was accompanied moments later by a typically timed Crabbeman tackle so the scorer then spent the next 5 minutes seeking him out for retribution, which came in the form of an elbow and a second yellow card, putting Q down to ten men. Suicide against a pressing Shefford side and duly punished when a cross from (insert who crossed it here I can't remember) was headed home by Canning for his second on his debut to make it 3-3.
It was all Shefford for the last 10 minutes but the closest they came was a Crabbeman effort close in but at a tight angle and the ball wouldn't come out from under his feet.
Points shared - probably fair enough cos I haven't mentioned Q's disallowed (rightly) goal or their shot that hit the inside of the post and rebounded across the goal and out. But Shefford made more chances and scored better goals. Familiar story.
http://www.football.mitoo.co.uk/LeagueTab.cfm?TblName=Matches&DivisionID=2479&LeagueCode=NDSFL2007
Kennet lost as well so although we actually dropped a bit in the league we're still in a healthy position. But we can see now that it's not just between us, Kennet and Q anymore you can add Hermitage Reserves and Bucklebury to the equation. It's all nice and open still. Thought we showed good character throughout yesterday and created far more chances than they did. Unlucky not to grab all 3 points, just shows we'll not be able to just turn up against anyone - we need to put some real effort in.
The John Sills match report follows.
Kennet lost as well so although we actually dropped a bit in the league we're still in a healthy position. But we can see now that it's not just between us, Kennet and Q anymore you can add Hermitage Reserves and Bucklebury to the equation. It's all nice and open still. Thought we showed good character throughout yesterday and created far more chances than they did. Unlucky not to grab all 3 points, just shows we'll not be able to just turn up against anyone - we need to put some real effort in.
The John Sills match report follows.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Remember the last game of the season before last? (the relegation one) when we lost 3-2 to Hampstead Norreys who got promoted (think they even won that league). Well we were very poor that season and still only lost 3-2. No surprise then to seem them rock bottom of the Prem Div, having played 10, won just 1 (against Partick) and lost the other 9. Their keeper was a retard.
Yeah there's still tons of twists and turns to go yet. Think about last year when we ended up winning by 10 clear points and it never really felt certain until 2 games to go.
I have no doubt that Kennet will drop points, as will everyone, but other teams are having some good runs of form. Like you say, anyone from the top 7 are still well within grasp of the top. We've still got some good teams and some bad teams to play.
We'll have to see what Q are like on Sunday. They've had some bad results recently but we missed a trick last week as if we'd beaten Kennet then Q might have come into the game secretly expecting not to get anything out of it. As it is, they'll now be going into it in the same mood as us, off the back of a disappointment and knowing that the other team aren't invincible.
We've got a strong squad out on Sunday, only Lewis missing, so it'd be nice to play some decent footy - we know we can pressure them and we know they don't react well to conceding. Might be nice to let them hear that we only had 9 men last week against Kennet...
I have no doubt that Kennet will drop points, as will everyone, but other teams are having some good runs of form. Like you say, anyone from the top 7 are still well within grasp of the top. We've still got some good teams and some bad teams to play.
We'll have to see what Q are like on Sunday. They've had some bad results recently but we missed a trick last week as if we'd beaten Kennet then Q might have come into the game secretly expecting not to get anything out of it. As it is, they'll now be going into it in the same mood as us, off the back of a disappointment and knowing that the other team aren't invincible.
We've got a strong squad out on Sunday, only Lewis missing, so it'd be nice to play some decent footy - we know we can pressure them and we know they don't react well to conceding. Might be nice to let them hear that we only had 9 men last week against Kennet...
Just had a good look at the league table and who's played who etc and we're still in the mix, I think the top seven teams will be thinking they'll have a chance to get up there if they can get a winning streak going. We still have the advantage (looking at it positively) of games in hand over some and Kennet who are 8 points ahead of us now are going to drop points before the end of the season.
They have Hogs Head to play twice who look in good form, Bucklebury - who we know only too well can be a tough team to beat on their day and Hermitage Res who they've already lost too once. Plus they need to beat the other teams at the bottom, as just turning up doesn't guarantee a win....
Obviously we still have to beat these teams as well, but just trying to put a positive spin on things on this gloomy Friday morning!!
First things first though, massive game on Sunday - where we really can't afford to drop points.
They have Hogs Head to play twice who look in good form, Bucklebury - who we know only too well can be a tough team to beat on their day and Hermitage Res who they've already lost too once. Plus they need to beat the other teams at the bottom, as just turning up doesn't guarantee a win....
Obviously we still have to beat these teams as well, but just trying to put a positive spin on things on this gloomy Friday morning!!
First things first though, massive game on Sunday - where we really can't afford to drop points.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Monday, February 04, 2008
It's getting tasty at the top eh? Hermitage Reserves are right on our arse too and haven't lost since September - though that was one of those games where we were all over them for 90 minutes and came out with a draw wasn't it?
It'd be funny if it came down to us v them again but I think there will be more teams in it this season.
The John Sills write up follows - adapted from a Matt Atkins report as I was in Torquay this weekend...
The sun rose over the Henwick mist like a lava lamp in Genghis' living room, hallway or bathroom. Shefford took to the pitch against a team they'd already destroyed 5 - 0 in arguably one of their best performances ever, but finding themselves a place behind them in the league. 3rd placed The Swan would have approached this game confident in their own ability but with bad memories of a footballing lesson from Shefford earlier in the season.
What better way to start then, than with Matt Atkins growling around the box from a corner and shouting "this is for you Shane!" before stabbing the ball in from close range.
Shefford enjoyed the confidence this early lead gave them and after half an hour of almost non-stop one-touch passing, Dave Lewis threaded and incisive ball through to Andy Miller who yelled "this is for you Shane!" before beating the advancing keeper.
This seemed to spur The Swan into some resistance and they clawed their way back into the game just before half time with a powerful strike into the top corner. He didn't shout anything.
Half time regroup with the game in the balance. The Swan started strongly but Shefford restored their two-goal cushion when Gareth Withers worked his way down the left wing and crossed for Simon MacIntyre to shout "this is for you Shane!" before finishing with a tap in at the far post.
But The Swan didn't want to give up and forced their way back into the game with a decent passing move to create an opening that was finished well to make it 3-2.
Shefford kept their heads up well and one dangerous ball forward required The Swan keeper to charge out of his area and head the ball clear. But it fell to Atkins and in the mode he's in at the moment it couldn't have fallen to anyone better as he shouted "this is for you Shane!" and coolly lobbed the ball from 40 yards out, over the retreating keeper and into the net to once again restore the two-goal advantage.
The Swan now had two goals to catch up and had seen how much effort it takes to put two past Shefford, so they faced a big mental battle to stay in the game. Basically, they lost that battle, when Withers produced some good skill again to feed Adam Davies on an venture forward. Davies received the ball, shouted "this is for you Shane!" and finished from close range.
The Swan players looked at each other and knew this was the end. All their training, all their hard work, for this. What a crock of shit, they probably thought to themselves. So imagine how they felt when the diminutive Ben Kirkham was somehow allowed to take a free kick from the edge of the area (this will be discussed in training) and launched and unstoppable goal of the season contender into the roof of the net, after shouting "this is for you Shane!" during his run up.
"Fucking cock off" probably said the goalkeeper, under his breath.
All that was left was for Chris Brown to finish off the scoring, shouting "this is for you James!" before lifting a deft lob over the keeper from 10 yards out to make the final score 7-2 to Shefford and send out a chilling message to the rest of the league.
It'd be funny if it came down to us v them again but I think there will be more teams in it this season.
The John Sills write up follows - adapted from a Matt Atkins report as I was in Torquay this weekend...
The sun rose over the Henwick mist like a lava lamp in Genghis' living room, hallway or bathroom. Shefford took to the pitch against a team they'd already destroyed 5 - 0 in arguably one of their best performances ever, but finding themselves a place behind them in the league. 3rd placed The Swan would have approached this game confident in their own ability but with bad memories of a footballing lesson from Shefford earlier in the season.
What better way to start then, than with Matt Atkins growling around the box from a corner and shouting "this is for you Shane!" before stabbing the ball in from close range.
Shefford enjoyed the confidence this early lead gave them and after half an hour of almost non-stop one-touch passing, Dave Lewis threaded and incisive ball through to Andy Miller who yelled "this is for you Shane!" before beating the advancing keeper.
This seemed to spur The Swan into some resistance and they clawed their way back into the game just before half time with a powerful strike into the top corner. He didn't shout anything.
Half time regroup with the game in the balance. The Swan started strongly but Shefford restored their two-goal cushion when Gareth Withers worked his way down the left wing and crossed for Simon MacIntyre to shout "this is for you Shane!" before finishing with a tap in at the far post.
But The Swan didn't want to give up and forced their way back into the game with a decent passing move to create an opening that was finished well to make it 3-2.
Shefford kept their heads up well and one dangerous ball forward required The Swan keeper to charge out of his area and head the ball clear. But it fell to Atkins and in the mode he's in at the moment it couldn't have fallen to anyone better as he shouted "this is for you Shane!" and coolly lobbed the ball from 40 yards out, over the retreating keeper and into the net to once again restore the two-goal advantage.
The Swan now had two goals to catch up and had seen how much effort it takes to put two past Shefford, so they faced a big mental battle to stay in the game. Basically, they lost that battle, when Withers produced some good skill again to feed Adam Davies on an venture forward. Davies received the ball, shouted "this is for you Shane!" and finished from close range.
The Swan players looked at each other and knew this was the end. All their training, all their hard work, for this. What a crock of shit, they probably thought to themselves. So imagine how they felt when the diminutive Ben Kirkham was somehow allowed to take a free kick from the edge of the area (this will be discussed in training) and launched and unstoppable goal of the season contender into the roof of the net, after shouting "this is for you Shane!" during his run up.
"Fucking cock off" probably said the goalkeeper, under his breath.
All that was left was for Chris Brown to finish off the scoring, shouting "this is for you James!" before lifting a deft lob over the keeper from 10 yards out to make the final score 7-2 to Shefford and send out a chilling message to the rest of the league.
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