There's something to be said for being No 2; more weight behind you, you turn up less often, people recognise you for who you are. No 1's are a bit more wet, in my experience, a precursor to the main event.

Don't let them tell you you're number two John. I never used to.

I'm a manager at Reading branch, biggest branch in the South (80 staff) so we have four managers there, and I'm No.2 if you like, basically I run the ground floor bit. When I started I was on a graduate scheme so they pay for me to do a BSc in Financial services, but they don't monitor it really so I get to pick what modules I want to do. I've done Lending ones etc but also things like Marketing and CRM and IT systems, so if I want to further/change my career I've got a bit of knowledge in other areas. If I was starting it now, I'd have to do a company specific one, which makes it harder to move away if you want to...

And as I think the following diagram shows, we are actually fairly reasonable with our charges...

So what do you actually do these days anyway? Are you a branch manager, regional thingy? What do your exams mean for your career? Why are they teaching you marketing when there are Digital Marketing Specialists around that they could hire on a consultancy basis and pay them lots of money because of all the people they charge £30 for just for going £0.01 overdrawn?

Eh?

Scumbag banks? Why I oughta....

Multi-tasking Mr Sills. No point setting up your own business if you can't afford to buy anything for it. Don't want to sell out to those scumbag banks so need an income of my own other than that supplied by the business. Plus, I get to meet hot chicks.

And how come you're a 'Digital Marketing Specialist'? I thought you were setting up a Diving school...?!

Yeah, I probably should know that multiple P thing, I've seen that somewhere. Doing a case study at the moment, looking at the effect of Globalisation. How about you revise for me and I'll come to the pub, then you take my exam? Then I'll steal your car, sell your house, and head off to Peru for a year, whilst you can try to learn the guitar?

Well I'm now a Digital Marketing Specialist so I could probably breeze your exam. The secret to learn is that Marketing is really a piece of piss and if you have an opinion and can stick to it then people will eventually believe you. How else do Smart Car's get sold eh?

So are you learning all about the Marketing Mix with the however many P's there are? People, Price, Product, Placement, Puppies, Pneumonia.

Something like that I'm sure. If you want, come out on the piss and I can teach you marketing in 15 minutes during half time. Much like they do in Road Trip where he teaches his mate philosophy on the bus on the way back to his exam. Then we just need to get Cat to phone in a bomb scare to buy you some time, and Hilly can get bitten by a snake.

So, I'll see you about 4pm then.

Sorry Hilly, I'm caught in this weird Student/Worker hybrid mode, not sure whether I should be doing one or the other. This exam is on Marketing, so maybe Shaner wants to take it for me...?!

Sillsy what sort of student are you? revising?!! learning?!! not on the piss?!! have you read the student charter? very disappointing...........

Sorry lads, I'd love to come along but I'm holed up this weekend, got exams early next week so I'm revising/learning the thing. Told Cat I can't take her shopping becasue of it, so can't very well go on the pi*s. Saying that, if she goes away for the weekend...


You'll just have to post me my awards.

That yellow jersey site is a waste of space if they don't update it. It's quicker to wait for the Newbury Weekly News to come out. Grrr.

Had a good response from the new boys saying that if we made the presentation thing on Friday night rather than Saturday then they'd all be able to come along. Told them to fuck off cos it was the England game that we wanted to watch, but I thought it was good that they were keen to come along. We'll just have to do another night sometime for everyone.

Sorry, I'm not at work this week, so I'm not logging on much. Hope your all working hard!

I only know one result other than ours, yellow Jersey hasn't been updated and I didn't read the Reading Evening Post yesterday.

Wagon & Horses 2-2 Q Associates

Matty it's usually this time of the week when you come on here and tell us all the other results...

You're right Sillsy, Shefford are indeed in a goo position. Yucky.

Sillsy we're all going to watch the England game in Newbury on Saturday and do last season's trophy presentations if you're interested/free...

Good performance lads, sounds like good football was played! All is good in the world, and Shefford are in a goo position. You're all good people, and I'm in a good mood, which oddly is spelt the same except for one letter, but strangely doesn't rhyme.

Good.

Sillsy, Shane didn't do my goal justice so I'll talk you through it properly. I raised both my arms to indicate to Matty exactly where to cross the ball (as we had practised for the past 2 years and never went to plan!) which he did with pinpoint accuracy. I backstepped twice before rising above a crowded 6 yard box to meet the ball with my forehead and nearly broke the back of the net with a bullet header. I don't score many goals but I can sure dramatise them.

Matt dissed my club so I told him he was dropped.

Then I realised that's not my decision to make these days so I said shit.

Then I thought I'd appeal to the gaffer to drop him on my request so I said Smurf.

So, to the game.

We started well and within a couple of minutes Gareth had broken free (again) down the left hand side, cut back and put in a difficult cross which their centre back totally skewed his clearance and saw the ball loop over his keeper and into the net.

It became apparent from this point on that Meadway are in fact, utter shite. Friendly team, hardly anything for the ref to do during the game, nice blokes, shite.

But it started raining hard and for some reason we had a bit of a quiet spell. Were certainly never really under pressure but Smurf had to produce one save from Genghis and then another (good one) to stop the ball going straight in from a corner in the swirling wind and rain. That was about it though and pretty soon Gareth again broke free and was working well with Andy Miller and Matt to work the ball down the left hand side. The ball went into the box, pinged out a bit and Gareth fired it home from just inside the area for 2-0.

Then we must have had about 5 or 6 chances to score but for some reason it kept coming down to the players' wrong feet, or they were trying too hard, or something would get in the way, or they were snatching at it and not making use of the time and space they had. Played some lovely football with Matty and Adam spraying the ball out to the wings and then powering forward to support the attacks.

Wayne eventually got a bit of space and fired the ball home to make it 3 for half time.

Second half started and we were all over them again. Their back four couldn't stop anything going straight through them and at some point after about 10 minutes Wayne got his second (can't actually remember the goal I'm afraid...)

Then Crabbeman, Macca and I came on for Ads, Ben and Miller respectively and from then on it was game over. We got the ball on the edge of our own box and it didn't leave the ground from there even as it crossed the line for our 5th. Total football up the right hand side of the pitch, 6 or 7 passes until Macca passed it across the 6 yard box for me to slot home. Lovely team goal.

Then we went down the right again and I crossed the ball for Gareth to have a strike, when it pinged back out Matty took one touch to kill it and then fired it low and hard to make it 6. Then we had a few corners and Matty took a quality curling far poster for Hilly to arrive and nod it home (I could have got a touch on it but was worried about deflecting it over so I left it) for 7.

We really could have had a hatful more, missed more than we scored but played some good stuff and should look forward to playing them again sometime. Easy.

What was that Dropped-Shit-Smurf thing all about?

So, a match report, please...