And a Taylor. I suggest you all find yourselves alternative masturbation techniques asap cos if he tries to give you a dead arm, it's gonna stay dead.

Cant really blame you Shane as you done us a favour by going in goal.I spoke to to my cousin and he said he will sign,for those of you that don't know he is about 6ft 5 and a goalkeeper.

Sorry about Sunday boys - that 3rd goal really cost us dear. Other than that 10 minutes and a few spats of dodgy defending I thought we showed a good bit of character keeping our heads up and taking the game to them at 6-1 down. We knew that was a dodgy scoreline and they knew it too. To snap out of it like you did was quite an effort so don't be too gutted about it. We're still good enough to go up this season if things go our way, and we're way too good to go down, so we can use the rest of the season to continue to gel together like we have in the last two matches. Vodafone are a good team, but they're really not that much better than we are at the moment and no better than we can be.

Tough game Sunday boys Vodafone are a strong team but we beat em last season and we've beaten em before that too so it's gonna be a hard, concentration-filled, 90 minutes. In the meantime, office christmas party tonight so bring on the beer...

Your such a girl I bet your medicine is that banana flavored stuff taken on a tidy little plastic spoon!

Adam posted this on my account. Dead arm I reckon.

Your probably still be pissed from Sat night anyway so you won't even notice!

Your such a girl I bet your medicine is that banana flavored stuff taken on a tidy little plastic spoon!

Adam posted this on my account. Dead arm I reckon.

Your probably still be pissed from Sat night anyway so you won't even notice!

Yes mate it is. Ill give you a ring about quarter past, twenty past 9 when im just coming into baisingstoke. You should be ok smurfy, not planning on a heavy one on saturday night. Speak to ya sunday morning.

Adam is that a definite yes for sunday if so i will guide you in by phone when you are in Basingstoke.
Matty i want you to be scoring and assisting sunday.
Just thought i hope i dont have a reaction to my medication with all the alcohol fumes in the car with you.

That's fair enough Smurf, Lets hope Lewis gets a few goals to boast my tally.

I'm struggling with my hamstring after last nights killer step-up fiasco - which the Reading boys missed I might add! Everyones fitness should be up thou after a 8.30pm - 10pm training session!

Well Gentlemen, I am offski to Barcelona. My seat in the Nou Camp for Barce vs Malaga is being warmed up as we speak...

Good luck sunday, another result will do nicely. Although if we can win, with the midfield playing really shit, that would be better from my point of view.

Oi!

I can only give in to one of those demands Mr Atkins.
Crabbeman ask Browny if you can borrow his flag for sunday

Bastard. That means I have to get up early as well. Otherwise I'll have to drive half cut. You better make sure your quiet so I can get some kip.

This lift is on strict terms and conditions

1) A starting place
2) Man of the match
3) I get credited with Lewis's goals.
and
4) You transfer 5 of the dead arms you usually give me, on to Ghengis.

Thankyou gentlemen you will be able to get me at about 9.30 as it only takes 20-25 minutes to get to Henwick from Basingstoke.Your assistance is very much appreciated.

I just spoke to Lewis and he will drop you off afterwards smurf.

Yeah I can be your chauffeur for the day smurf. I'll let ya know what time. Guessing ill pick you up bout 9 ish, but ill confirm via a telegram. I have a meal to go to straight after that ive already put back a couple of hours, so ill make sure lewis or atkins can give you a lift back after.

What is the chances of me scrounging a lift from somebody for the game this sunday? I know Adam offered ages ago via text if i ever needed a lift so if any one could help me out please let me know.

Is it possible to have semi-wood? Bolsa wood maybe? Beeny doesn't come to training anymore anyway after he became a Londoner like you John. Oh... Knees ap mavver braaaaan.... Oi!

(All cockney songs end in "Oi!" with the obligatory thumb-up towards your shoulder whilst kicking your leg out) Maybe it's becawwws I'm a landanaa... Oi!

Beanie might...

In fact be worried if anybody has wood tomorrow night.

You'd better be worried if I turn up tomorrow night with a long, smooth piece of wood Mr Sills.