Your retirement my arse. You've never enjoyed your footy as much as playing with this bunch of retrobates. Alright so Genghis and I can't promise you and Audi TT at the end of the season if you win the viewers' vote, but you've still got a few years in you yet and what's the point of retiring just after you've brought a new MiniSmurf into the world who's gonna wanna come watch his Dad play? You'll retire when your body tells you to. And it aint saying nuffink right now. I reckon mid 50s you'll still be getting sent off.

He go, he come back. First time some Bristol chav scum tries to stamp on his head even though he's on the same team and Lamb will be welcomed back to the fold (see what I did there?) Bristol's all very nice for decent places to eat, but it starts to drag when you have to ask the waiter for the bill and the police each time cos your car's been nicked again. Bristol to Newbury aint that far when you can make a good day of it. Wherever you play it takes up half your Sunday, no matter whether you have a 45 minute drive or a 15 minute drive. Plus it'll be nice for Megan to get out now and then.

Plus we'll have to find someone with the initials JL for his training top...

What about the news of my retirement?

That would only be a possible 'loan' move thou, and thats worse case scenario, never would the club let him leave on a permanent basis. Personally I don't think the move would suit a player with his qualities, I think it would leave him unsettled and home sick... (Reading is your home now...)

I like the little song about the news... "News goes here, news goes here, a-news goes here, a-news goes here..." Quite catchy. We should get Fatboy Slim to do a mix of it. "Or you could go with this, or you could go with that..."

It's you.

Web site looks pretty nice mate. Credit where credits due. Obviously needs more on it! But like you said we need to come up with ideas etc.

A nice draw with Vodafone would leave us 3rd in the league. Assuming Cold Ash beat MDM.

Was that yesterday?

So that puts MDM 3 points behind with 2 to play, I think that's one against Cold Ash and one against Vodafone... You never know...

TVS 0-0 MDM

A point i didn't think MDM would get.

TVS and Vodafone drew 0-0 last week which was the 2nd best result we could hoped for there. A TVS win would have been better. Vodafone are now 5 points behind with 2 games left to play, but one of those is against MDM. MDM are 4 points behind with 3 games to play. So the likelihood is that MDM will go past us but if they win or draw against Vodafone then it means Vodafone can't so we'll finish 4th. At the moment we're still 3rd. Not bad.

AFC Wimbledon have a goal difference higher than any other team's goals's scored. Wimbledon somehow managed to beat Wigan to stay up for a few more days but they play Sunderland tomorrow night so they'll be down then. I think they've applied to change their name next season, which will leave the name "Wimbledon" up for grabs, so I might have to consider the name Shefford rather seriously...

Anyone see Fash FC last night, the opposition played in Arsenal kit but one player had the badge taped up cos he was a Utd fan. They still suck. If we were in their league we could win it even with the type of hangovers we all had last Sunday...

So the rumours about your "Peanut" ball are true, I thought it was just a vicious rumour started by Brownie's Mum after you turned her down again.

Ok... Maybe it was 'slightly' short. But one short ball in a whole season isn't bad... At least i left it to the last game, one that we were losing in at that.

Well first there was Megan and then, what's your wife's name.......

It was all different in my day. People used to have respect for each other. Didn't use to bicker like children. Had to go and fight the war. No time for arguing. Not now, oh no. All you fancy dans and your swiss watches. Use to have to hold a potato up to the sun to tell the time. Quarter past four. Oh yes. They don't make em like that anymore.

Shane, I know you don't want to have the end of season night out just yet but do you think we should get our votes in for awards. The thing is at Paul's age he may start forgetting things like how often I had to carry Mike through games!

Nothing wrong with my passing Mr Curtis, you were obviously too slow to get there... Must have been counting your bus tokens or something, trying to figure out if you could get there any quicker!

I would have been training but I've spent the last few games carrying Paul which has consequently put my back out....

Are you driving tonight Chris?

You were good at falling over, now where have I seen you do that before. You weren't trying to ski at Northcroft were you?

Chris mate, you missed a superb weekend away, last minute end of Shefford do in sunny Bournemouth, it was quality.

Every time I picture you skiing I get a picture of a clown on stilts trying to ski.

So you didn't break anything...? Tut.

Hey all, so what was the result from the Weekend. Just got back from Skiing ache like hell all over, Im great at falling over!!
Have we got training tonight or not?

So what we all been up too and where did we finish in the League?

With due respect, Paul has indeed scored a goal in the past worthy of the 'John Sills coveted' Goal Of The Season Award. We just didn't have an award for that in those days. Anyone who can score a last-kick-of-the-game (literally) winner, from outside the box, whilst facing away from goal, is a Shefford legend. You just don't get a trophy for that.