Brimpton are shit and full of the gay.

Hermitage whipped our pale white arses last time we played them. Let's make sure that we're all pissed before kick off this time so it doesn't matter.

We have a friendly with Hermitage on thurs 10th (K.O. tba), also Brimpton would like a mid-week game as well but this needs arranging.

August tomorrow, Seasons getting close now!

Where do we stand with friendlys and do we know the date of our first league game Gaffer?

I do appear to have very long arms, although I was hoping to keep that pic of me surfing the Shark a secret. Not many people realise I was Neptune in a former life, taming the Sea and all it's creatures.

Johnny "Faster Than An Eagle" Sills goes fishing...
That's the last one, I got work to do...

Johnny "Dangerously" Sills goes surfing...

Not my fault that the board is facing the wrong way...

You need sound for this, but is it wrong I actually quite like it...?!

http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-3382491587979249836

Do you think that might have something to do with your particular 'technique'?

Sorry gents, was going to try to make it along tonight, but I picked up a dead and bruised leg playing 6-a-side last night, so can hardly walk!

Had a BUPA medical today as wel, 40 tests in 2 hours. I'm in good shape, you'll all be pleased to know, but have a torn tendon in my upper right arm, probably caused by Surfing!

I'm so hard.

Normal time, normal place tonight gents. Will there be a Sillsy appearance this week or are we still not to be blessed?

I think we'll tailor what we do based on the conditions at the time. There's meant to be rain here around lunchtime but the weather forecasters really, really don't know what they're talking about so I still expect it to be hard to breathe tonight. It'll be a bit like altitude training which means we'll be ready and waiting for any games up at Chievely this season...

See you all later.

That was great to watch though. I still have the pics...

What about that night in Blackpool when you put on that Stevie Tab face mask and we had a wrestle? Oh fuck.

Hey, I'll sing your tune, Dance your Dance, Maybe even walk your walk, But there is no way in god's earth am i ever or have i ever thought about playing your fiddle!!!

A Bellamy work out eh? Sounds dodgy, but what the hell, two laps of Northcroft and then play my fiddle...

To be honest smurf none of us wish to see you play with anything, Least of all your fiddle, Just been looking over the last few blogs and I surf like a god!!!!!

Grundy was wondering if you have moved in to your new pad yet and if you did congratulations hope things are going well.

Looking forward to training Thursday, I think its gonna be a painful one haven't had a Bellamy work out for ages.

If it comes down to it i will play but i was hoping to play second fiddle

Don't worry we'll step up the fitness effort this week and that'll sort out the ones who are here for real from those here for a kickabout.

There was one of the new guys who said he could play in goal but doesn't tend to and obviously hadn't come along to be a goalkeeper.

I'm afraid I don't know any goalies and the only way I'd really find one is through you lot and your extended circle of friends. Other than one thought - Smurf what about Chunk?

We've probably had more transfer activity than most Football League Clubs! No confirmed signings, but more new people than I've ever experienced at Shefford.

Are all these new people training with us signing? Or are they just coming along for a kick about/to get fit?

Can any of them play in goal?

Nope - are we heading towards an ad in the paper?

Talking of transfer market,has anyone found us a new goalkeeper yet?

Nice and hot all this week gents ready for training on Thursday.

Transfer market is all a bit dull at the moment eh?

Why?

Sorry, I mean, Why?

Thats what i thought.

Ha ha. Fag.

It's my turn to be famous now...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/presents/razorlight/26.shtml#jump

Right, as far as I can tell, this is the full list of players who played more than one game for us last season...

Smurf
Woody
Hilly
Tony
Genghis
Dave F
Beeny
JT
Grundy
Sillsy
Adam
Matt
Dan
Crabbeman
Rob
Browny
Neil
Shane
Miller
Dave

We need your votes for Players' Player. Looks like this season's voting will be limited to Players' Player, Manager's Player and anything else that Smurf wants to do.

If you can text me your votes for first, second and third please.

Personally it's not an easy decision for me, partly because of the number of games I missed and partly because of the quality produced. (Those games I was actually out on the pitch my body had shut down vision as a way of conserving blood supply for more vital body functions like breathing.)

That said, there still has to be a Players' Player and in matches and seasons where it's just not going our way and everyone's feeling like they'd rather just not be there, there's a lot to be said for being the best player out there rather than switching off.

So treat the vote seriously and once they're all in we'll get together for a curry or something.

You can text or email me your votes. If you know anyone who should vote but doesn't have my contact details, give them them. If I've missed anyone off the list of players then I apologise!

I think you'll find that's a critical eye I'm casting on you there Hilly. Your centre of gravity is towards the left hand side of the board due to your head leaning out over the edge, hence the poor stance and unsteady arm position.

The "I'm impressed" smile on my face is due to passing wind.

Enjoy training tonight gents, apologies for not being there myself, I shall be back next week.

This is me........with Shane and JT looking on in complete awe.

And here's the shot in question. You can clearly, clearly, see it's Beeny.

It's Beeny.

There.

All Beeny - there was me wondering whether the photo might not be him cos the guy was stood up and Beeny was worried about his knee... Every single shot he's in he's up.

Can someone send me a picture of this bloke "beeny"!!

Even though your telling me its him and i have no other answer for it, it just doesn't look like him to me.

Maybe a trip to the opticians is on the cards...

Just checked through, definitely Beeny - same wetsuit and he's stood up plenty of times in other shots.

Is that why you never passed to him or made yourself available to him last season Ad? Everytime he got the ball you stopped playing thinking someone had wandered onto the pitch...

Well it looks like Beeny to me - the only thing that makes me think it might not be is Beeny's knee and whether he ever actually stood up on the board.

I think he did, but we need to know from the horse's mouth. Beeny?

No grundy it doesn't make me feel any better, I would hate to see you in any sort of self inflicted pain! I prefer the sort of pain that comes from someone else.......

Hilly as we both did the same amount of work then its the fitness thing. But if it makes you feel better i couldn't move for three days the week before. Besdies i'm running 3 times a week on top of training as i have to work hard to get any fitness back.

Who is on the mysterious photo 187...?!

Yep enjoyed that last night and I AM! aching today which I think proves that I worked harder than Grundy..... or he's a lot fitter than I am....answers on a postcard.

As far as i can tell thats not beeny and definatly not jt in the background.....

Any ideas? I don't get it...

187 is a photo of Beeny stood up on his board with JT in the background looking the other way.

?

Cheers for the cd shaner. Some really cool pics. My favourite is number 187......any ideas?

I definitely think that confidence on the ball was a major factor last season which is where Grundy's style of training will come into its own. Last year we struggled to get the ball under control, so people were on top of us before we had a chance to look up, or if we did get it under then people were nervous about asking for the ball so our options were limited.

The good thing is that we all know that we can do it, we just didn't, so with the right training it will come back and with our experience, be better.

Fitness was enough last time, so this year with fitness plus some technical practise we should benefit even more. You never know who you're gonna come up against, so you're only option is to be as good as you can be.

I think we're off to a good start. Sorry about your knee Matt, I'll try and stick away from the thigh shakers in future - make sure you rest it up properly, no point in pushing things at this point, you know you can get fit pretty quickly.

As soon as we're getting fitter I'm gonna mix up fitness with agility stuff because that's something I was never quite happy with even when we won the division. If you look at the best players, they're all agile to fuck, changing direction and going from standing still to good speed with the ball within a split second. Helps you turn 50:50 balls into 75:25 because as the ball spins out you've got the best chance of getting to it. Lots to be said for agility...

Last year just seemed to consist of lump ball. No one looked comfortable on the ball and ended up panicing and just twating it anywhere. Then moaning at Lewis for not producing any goals.

It's good that in the games we play at training, we're already trying to pass the ball around, some of the passing isn't quite clinical, but that will come with fitness and getting everyones touch back on form.

The futures bright....er.

The best thing for me was that everybody pitched in, nobody shirked a single bit and even the new boys just got on with stuff, took the press up 'punishments' well and gave it their all in the shuttle runs and sprints. It's okay having a 'tactical approach' to those final sprints like Matt, Dave and Tony tried, but if you think that by resting one you'll win the next one you've got another thing coming :-)

But yeah, it was a good first session proper and I think that with the combination of fitness and team building stuff from my good self and Grundy doing his more technical stuff everybody will really see the benefit going into the season.

I noticed that in some of the worst games last season we looked really bad technically so I look forward to doing Grundy's bits - sorry I can't be there next Thursday, I have a boat trip on the Thames...

Yeah Excellent training session last night Shaner!!! And suprisingly i don't ache today.

I enjoyed training last night. Suffered a little after the running, but also desperately need it, couldn't really get into the game, due to lack of touch and fitness, but that's to be expected I guess!

Pre warning that I won't be doing the thigh (punishment) exercise again. Buggered up my knee somehow, and it fcuking hurts!

I'll get a copy of the CD off someone Shane.

Training was good - bit of gentle fitness to start with, nice back to back thigh shakers, couple of quick shuttle-runs, some good old head/catch shennanigans and some sprints to finish off with, then a 7 (yes seven) a-side match because the turn out was that good.

And the sun was out so one side got to play skins and show off their not quite yet finely tuned physiques.

Ad- Lewis has a CD with the photos on for you (seeing as I won't be there next week) - I only remembered I had it when I got back to my car and by then you'd headed off to the other car park. Matt - I had one for you as well but gave it to Tony, so you can either get a copy from him or wait and I'll do you one.

Enjoy the sunny weekend boys, think of me brushing up on my surf skills on Saturday...

How was training gents?

No mate I'll burn them onto some spare ones I have and bring em along tonight.

Linesman Matt?????

First Half: Keeper - Lewis
Striker - Shane

Second Half: Keeper - Shane
Striker - Lewis


Yeah? No? (!)

Do i need to bring you a cd tonight shane for those photo's?

I have the balls and the cones. Normal place, normal time at training tonight. Still looking for a new keeper though as Smurf is currently expecting to be a reserve rather than first choice keeper.

With the news that Woody isn't expecting to be fit and ready for a while, we need to think about this now and see who we know who is good and reliable...

Hilly it won't be too bad - first proper training of the season and stuff there's no point running people into the ground. You'll go home feeling that it's been a very worthwhile session and in four weeks time Paula will be feeling the benefit, if you know what I mean.

You'll be thanking me by October and you won't feel over 30. For a while.

Can we have a seperate, slightly less athletic training session for the over 30's as we need to preserve our energy for matchdays......just a thought.

Forget hillys use of long words I'm just gonna come along and get very tired!!

I call it unnecessary knackericism......

You can pay to see if you're genetically linked to Genghis...

http://www.oxfordancestors.com/genghis_khan.html

For the bargain price of £195 you can find out if you have the particular chromosome seeing as Genghis impregnated so frequently during his reign.

Now that's value for money.

Training this Thursday won't be hard work, but if it is, it'll be fucking worth it and you'll feel so much better for afterwards.

I call it a Win:Win situation. No men, no dogs. Might even learn a little bit about yourself...

The Dog man? Let me know where you're meeting him, I'll come along.


'GENGHIS REMEMBERED:
Mongolians are celebrating the life of one of history's most ruthless people, Genghis . The Naadam festival, the biggest cultural event of the year in Mongolia, is celebrating the leader, as it is 800 years since he united the nation, albeit before establishing a reign of terror across two continents. A statue has been unveiled at Sukbaatar Square in the capital, Ulan Bator, and the local airport is being renamed after the despot'

I've just remembered I have to see a man about a dog on Thursday evening.............

Just been contacted by Partick friendly on 20th August at Bradfield Southend

Sounds like a plan - whatever we do we need to mix it up a bit cos the buggers'll suss that if they turn up 10 minutes late then they miss 10 minutes of the fitness stuff :-)

Either way I'm sure we'll work it out. See you Thursday.

Okay Thats cool. We'll have a chat after thursday about how to move forward but completely agree with the whole 'just a kickabout' thing. Its not good for anyone to do that all the time and it might stop people being so bloody greedy!!!!

We could always split the session up in 2, half for cardio and half for technical otherwise you know what'll happen some people will turn up for 1 week when its easier and not the next week when its all cardio. Just an idea.

I'll be running down again, so i'll ne pretty fucked before we start again. 'no pain no gain' - who ever said that was a ****

Smurf's gonna drop off all the training gear to me this week so we will be starting training 'proper' on Thursday.

Grundy if you're happy for me to take it this week then maybe afterwards we can work out what we're going to do going forwards (i.e. split each week or alternate weeks, etc). I've been doing some cardio stuff so that I'm fit enough to keep up with you all while I tell you slow down...

For those of you with mates coming along, obviously everybody is welcome but let them know that it won't just be splitting into teams and having a match this week as we all know that that's not good for you in the long run.

Speaking of long runs...

Yeah but quality header though!!!!

There can't be a reasonable excuse for it. If Matarazzi had said something that made everyone go "Yep, fair enough, that's enough to make a man go for you" then you'd at least go for him, not headbutt him in the chest so there's no marks left and then stand back going "what? nossing has happened 'ere. Je suis innocent. Ou est la fromage?"

The two don't add up - Zidane lost it. No excuses. The only other way out would have been to have completely decked Matarazzi, punched and kicked him, got properly sent off and not regretted it - explaining what Matarazzi had said to him and standing up for what you did because you're not going to accept that from anyone. Zidane was a coward.

That was such a bizarre incident! I want to know what he said to make him flip like that.

Lewis can now say him and Zidane have summit in common...

Damn - now we don't even have the stupidest talented players anymore. That beat Beckham's petulant little kick and Rooney's 'accidental' stamp put together. Way to bow out of footy...

It's to do with winning European competitions!

Oh, you already got it.

Fuckers.

I fucking googled it.

Unfortunatly i had one of the most boring work meetings i'd ever had! But hopefully it was just a one off.

I like the way browny said it took me ages to "figure out". im pretty sure you didn't sit there with a pad and pencil browny writing down your ideas of what it might be!

Ive heard that one before a few weeks ago, hence the quick response. With those sort of questions i dont think many people try and work it out. They either remember someone telling them or they google it.

How the fucking hell did you get to your god damn answer shaner?

Dont think thats too agressive....

Yeah - and that doesn't explain why they wouldn't want to do it this season. Like "our" answer does.

Didn't see you at training last night Ads, what's up with that? Sorry, that sounds aggressive and accusatory, I mean "what's that all about?"

Sorry, perhaps I should rephrase. What the hell is going on?

And when I see Tony...

And i said united are entered into champ league and have won it. making browny a PECKER....

i just sent an email to browny saying that! He told me i was wrong!

he said "it took me ages to figure it out, but the Answer is European competitions that they have never won, that they are entered in this season. hearts"

Aberdeen. Win all three European Cups (not in the same season, dufus).

Man U don't want to do it this season as it means that they'd have been dumped out of the Champs League nice and early...

In London Spurs and Arsenal could do it, as could Chelsea and West Ham.Both Manchester City and United could also do it. Everton and Rangers coulddo it, but not Liverpool or Celtic. The only British clubs that could do itthis season are Man United (who would probably prefer not to) andArsenal (who have gone closest so far and are desperate to do it). It would takeEverton and City the longest to do it.There is only one other British club that could do it. Who are they and what is it?

Any ideas??

www.bacardi.co.uk/festival

For those of you who are into the festival scene, or Bacardi...

Haha genius! We don't need no stinking Smurfs, we've already got all the Smurf we need ta very much...

Sex toys. Porn. Free stuff.

I hope it's still there when you lot look at this, but following on from Shaners well spotted 'Newquay ad's' comment, currently on our Blog page there are ad's for The Smurfs!

I know its my loss pal, I love playing (and watching!) Shefford, but I just got a feeling it's going to become really difficult. Even the Thursdays I'm not working, I wont be home before half six, let alone getting up to Newbury. Still, that just first impressions, but the first few weeks of a job are always busier, so it might calm down and give me more time than I think I'll have.

Your loss.

Do what you can mate, take it from me it's not good not feeling as much of a part of it as you used to, so get to as many trainings as possible just for the run out and then as and when you are available/needed it makes everything a bit easier.

Plus by Christmas Arsenal's season will be limited to Champions League qualification and a minor trophy, so maybe we'll see you more from January.

Ive really not had a clue who I want to win. The Germans have played in the right spirit, and my friends that went over said it was such a great atmosphere and everyone was so friendly, that they wanted them to win. The Ports drive me mad, but the Italians are the inventors of the dive, and the French are, well, French.

However, brilliant match last night, and I was pleased it didnt go to Pens. Hopefully a France Italy final will be a really good match, Zidanes last, Henry in the final up against the frankly immens Cannavaro...



Cant make it Thursday gents. To be honest, I'm not sure how big a part I'll be able to play this season. I'll be working some Thursday evenings, and with the Arsenal season ticket either the Sunday will be my only 'free day', or I'll be at the Emirates. Quite rightly, I'll be on the bench a lot, due to missing games, but it gets a bit catch 22, because that then makes it less likely I'll come along on the days I could.

I know we're supposed to hate them, but I did feel sorry for the Germans last night. Going a goal down that late on would have been enough to crush most teams but bless em they still thought they might as well give it a go and really tried for that equaliser, only to be punished even further, not that the second goal really mattered in the end.

Quality goals from the Italians, when you could have fully accepted that the player would have just had a shot from where he was so close to the end of the game, he held it, held it and held it then pinged it through to his team-mate to set up the goal (still a great finish from there though). Shows real football pedigree that.

I think it's important that we should look past our history of wars, previous sporting defeats, etc and embrace the fact that the Germans and Italians played some good stuff and both approached the game in the right way. I think it helps generate the respect that the game needs.

Now we just need France to break some Portuguese legs.

Yep - defo. I need to sweat off some pounds (I've heard all the jokes), hopefully it will have cooled down a little bit, as it's fecking hot and very little air.

Everybody up for training on Thursday then? Same time (7pm) same place (Northcroft). If it's thundering we'll go for some training theory in, say, The Lion...

http://www.petercrouchcandoanything.co.uk/

I've only seen photos of the stamp, not a video replay. Have to admit I didn't think it was a sending off at the time but if he's stamped on someone, or even attempted to, then it's a straight red.

And I don't blame Ronaldo so much cos if one of their players had stamped on one of ours then our players would have been having a go at the ref as well. I saw a quick replay though of Ronaldo "headnudging" Rooney to wind him up earlier in the game so they obviously had a game plan to get Rooney sent off, and the silly bugger fell for it.

And when everyone went for Beckham after the Argentina sending off it was because he represented everything that was bad about Man U at the time, the arrogance of what he did. Whereas these days Man U suck and nobody gives a damn about them, so Rooney will get off much more lightly. Shame really, as Beckham sorted himself out after that and, until recently, was an even better player than he might have been if he hadn't been villified like that. So I'm burning my Rooney effigy tonight at Henwick if anyone's interested, in the hope that we then win Euro 2008...

As someone who watched the game near-sober....I'm still amazed by how Rooney was been let off with it. In '98 Beckham got torn to shreads to getting sent off in a crucial game for reacting to the foul, but Rooney, despite (perhaps accidentally) stamping on a guy, and then clearly pushing the rat in front of the Ref, is still a hero! Granted, it was never ever a sending off, and England played much better after, but pushing another player, less than a metre from the ref (and with the standard of Ref-ing we have had in this World Cup) is so stupid it hurts.

Although I'm sure it will hurt Ronaldo.

As a Villa fan...........................I hope someone burns his house down with him and David O'Leary in it!

as a united fan. i hope he gets sold....don't care who to just get rid of the portuguese t*****

He won't be going back to United, he's already said he wants to go to Real Madrid, and I'm sure Rooney will make it perfectly clear he's not welcome.

They said on talk sport this morning that Rooney had to be physically restrained from going into there dressing room after the game!

Should have let him in.

Oh well. on the bright side NO MORE ERIKKSON!!!!

Who wants a pound on the first player to Break Ronaldo's legs this season!!!!! I'll go for Rooney!!!!

Don't it make you feel good?

To Sum Up............................C***'S

Paul Robinson is confident that England can win the World Cup...