In case you hadn't realised. Training on Sunday & 2pm. Northcroft.

Ha ha bleeding typical! West Ham v Charlton??? Anyway I'm afraid I can't make it but I did go in the gym this morning and will be doing so again tonight, tomorrow morning etc so my fitness will be up even if my ballwork isn't.

Good training last night though, realised on the way home I had more touches on the ball than I've probably had all season in actual games, so I think the benefit of training is obvious. Probably a good thing that the game is off this week if it gives us chance to clear up a few injuries and get another two training sessions in before the next match. Season may just finish in time for Newquay...

Thanks for tonight Grundy, you left me breathless and with an improved control of balls...



So everyone up for Sunday? No excuses...


Te match at 4 on Sunday is...

West Ham v Charlton


Oh.

Wont Be training tonight. Got a bit of a twinge in my hamstring that im hoping will clear up before sunday.

Looking forward to tonight. Checked the weather and it might be a little windy but thankfully the pressure is 999 and the relative humidity is 81%. That's good then.

MK Dons lost again, they're running out of time to avoid the drop, probably see them all at Henwick tonight doing some last gasp training...

I've got balls.........

i work in chieveley so can drop off where ever you want Mr Frodo

I've got a ball, a pump and an adaptor. If this was a couple of years back in my Uni days, I would have had cones, a hurdle, and a wheelbarrow as well...


Anyone have a Banjo I can borrow? There is this pesky Barn door down the road, I want to teach it a lesson...

what about crooky. could you drop them off at his work in basingstoke???? or can you drop them off at my place as i'm off for the next 2 days???? Let me know, i can meet you at the swan pub along the A4 if thats easy. walking distance for me then. Any cones???? bibs????

I have balls and adaptor but cant do thursdays.... if i can drop the balls off to someone tomorrow or thursday daytime let me know

Firstly shane, the way lewis has been shooting recently i think he needs it. He hasn't been able to hit a barn door with a banjo. Then again none of us have.
Great thanks for that by the way. 1 flat football with no adaptor. hmmm. frisby it is then.

Don't give Lewis any more fucking confidence!

I've got one ball. It's not pumped up and I don't have an adaptor. Love Sunday footy.

We should still get an hours worth of light and training in.
Shane more than happy for you to do a bit of fitness with them but your right at this stage of the season theres little point in looking at fitness as it'll take most 2-3 weeks before any major improvement is noticeable.
I have a few training routines that are used to improve confidence, passing and possession which will i'm hoping have an immediate impact. Training i'm planning to do will take no more than 40 minutes tops.
By the way has anyone got any footballs??? I handed all my training gear over to Burghclere when i left.

It was lucky for Camelot.

I'm well up for Thursday, we should do fitness but with the ball, so we remember how to pass the thing, and how to run. That should do it.

I'm all for training on thursday but not overly happy with the fitness part, I firmly believe fitness is a state of mind not body and at 30 years old I think my body would seize up at the thought of 1 of Shanes 'murder runs'!.....and just to satisfy the sadistic bastards thirst for pain he would still make me do 50 press ups when I inevitably come last for being 'unfit'.

Git!

That whole thing is a scam mate. I bought two lucky dip tickets at the weekend (first time I've bought tickets in years) and I didn't win a thing. Thinking of taking them to the trading standards people, not exactly "lucky" was it?

What does everybody want to do on Thursday night? I see Mr Frodo has some ideas and I've heard good things about his coaching. There's one thing fitness-wise that I really want to try - doesn't take long, about 3 minutes actually, so that we can see where our fitness sits at the moment. I'm afraid though that if we purely work on fitness then by the time we're firing on all cylinders there'll only be one game left to play. So if I can do that one thing then I'm more than happy to hand over to Grundy if he wants the rest of it and people are happy with that combination. Happy to do more fitness stuff in tandem with Grundy if we have more time to fill.

I'm assuming Smurfy that you're not able to make it seeing as it's a Thursday?

So all we have to do is buy 17,638,443 tickets, and we're guaranteed a win...?

Good news about Bayer then, gives us some realistic chance of digging out of this. Pity we can't have a friendly where we trial a 10-0-0 tactic to see if we can just play out the remaining games at 0-0 draws and a point a time, would actually fly up the league if it worked!!!

Or we could just try waking up a bit. If this wind continues through to the weekend then the games are gonna be a lottery anyway...

How the fu*k are we 3 points behind Bayer?! Still, let's not go for one win, let's go for five!

Were still only 1 win away from safety. Bayer are 3 points ahead with a worse goal difference. Just 1 win Lads come on!!!!

Just a reminder anyone who wants training on thursday. Henwick at 7pm. I have a few ideas i'll bring along.

We just have to make sure we put it right next week, thats all!!!!

Gutted!!!!

'Chin up' and we go again next week...

The boss was in a quandary, because he had to fire somebody to meet headcount targets. He had it narrowed down to one of two people, Jack or Katie. It was an impossible decision, because he was having an affair with Katie, but Jack was a wonderful worker, who had helped his boss out of a dilemma on so many occasions. Rather than toss a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next day. Katie arrived the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went straight to the water cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said, "Katie, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off." She replied, "Could you jack off, I really feel like shit this morning?"

I've just been playing the new Eidos Champ Man, I'm pretty impressed. It seems to be back to the original fun without over the top technical bits.

A man in camouflage using crutches stole my wallet earlier;

He can hide, but he cant run...

A young man in a wheelchair rolls on to the stage and Matthew Kelly introduces him as Simon.

MK: "It's very brave of you coming out here in your wheelchair - can you tell the audience what happened?"

Simon: "About a year ago I was driving, with my uncle, when we had a really bad accident. Unfortunately my uncle was killed outright,
But I survived, trapped in the car for 6 hours and had to be cut free.
The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours, they did all they could, but they couldn't save my legs."

MK: "That's terrible Simon, but I see you have legs now. Are they artificial?"

Simon: "No, Matthew, whilst in hospital, the doctors advised me that the uncle who had been in the car with me had passed away,
But that his legs were fine. With all the advances in medical science, they could graft his legs onto my body.
I have been having physiotherapy for 6 months, and I hope to be walking again by the end of the year."

** MUCH AUDIENCE APPLAUSE **

MK: "That's fantastic. So Simon, who are you going to be?"

Simon: "Tonight Matthew I'm going to be...

"Simon and half uncle"

Ha Ha Ha im so funny

Just because you're meeting Beckham, it doesn't mean you have to start typing like your talking like him!


There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Won't be reading the blog this avo gents as I have to go up to the David Beckham Academy to do some work with David.

Bet you aint laughing now.

The irony is, I posted that very joke on here a few weeks ago, except with Sunderland as the punchline, so that's a double insult. I knew this would happen.

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.


Now THAT'S a joke.

A young boy went to court to 'divorce' his parents claiming physical abuse. The judge ordered custody should be given to his grandparents. Months later the same boy was back in court challenging the ruling because his grandfather had also begun to physcially abuse him. After a two week court case the judge finally ruled that custody should be given to Colchester United Football Club as they are unlikely to beat anyone.

Funny Guy. All I'm trying to do is add a bit of humour, and that's what I get.

Someone tell me a joke. (And I wont accept 'Birmingham City' or 'Sillsy's Shooting').

Let's just get out there and play with a bit of fu*king passion and belief.


That guy was a cheapskate, I was tempted to chant 'we can see you sneaking out' at him. Shaner, you should have hit the ball towards him though, might have counted as a shot on target...

Yeah I saw him, I hate it when people are watching while we're getting whipped. I was gonna kick the ball at him but I couldn't get the fucking thing under control...

Henwick Sunday let's not expect an easy game but let's not give them an easy game either.

As Matt and sillsy will appriciate I blame the guy who thought it would be funny to not pay his entrance fee and watch from his front garden and then try and beat the rush a walk inside!!!
Or we could all just say "I support neither side but i'm gonna don the cords and corded jacket and walk around looking like i'm gonna steal something"!!!!

Same old Hilly, always the one to actually say what everyone else is thinking...

I blame Genghis.

No point looking for easy games in that lot we need to dig out performances and goals ourselves.

Tempted to think that it's not going to be fancy football that's going to get us up the table either it's going to be more down to determination.

Next Thursday still okay for training? Where would people prefer - we can go to Henwick and make use of what light we can get out of the floodlights or we can be hardcore and do Vicky Park or Northcroft and just work in the dark... Tempted to think about Henwick down the bottom of the hill where you still get some light from the floodlights.

See you all Sunday morning.

Well boys here is an update on the weekends action:

Bayer 2 2 Paggies Bar (Helped us a bit)

H.Norreys 6 4 Henwick

Post Office 1 5 Chav Friend

Westwood 0 0 Newthatch (Helped us as well)

Here is a bit of info;

We have 6 games to play: Henwick x2,Post Office,Newthatch,Hermitage,Chav Friend

Bayer: Played all their games 3 points above us

Monument: 1 Game to play 4 points above us

Westwood: 2 Games to play 4 points above us

Newthatch: 3 Games to play 4 points above us.

All of these teams have a far worse goal difference than us also so i predict 2 wins will ensure safety (Depending on Monuments last game result).

I do not want to settle for 2 wins though i want us to go out and give our best in every game because in theory we can beat every team we have left to play.

Its in our own hands now boys do we want it enough?

There's certainly a lot of psychology in our predicament - much easier to find the motivation when you've got a chance of winning something - too easy to get the urge to just not be a part of it when all you've got to play for is "not going down". Recognising that is quite key to overcoming it.

The next thing (sorry to bang on about it) is fitness. I know some of you play Saturdays and train during the week as well but I can see such a major difference in the overall fitness of the squad and that has numerous effects on what happens on the pitch. It's not just how long you can run for and how fast you can sprint in the 89th minute, it's how well you control the ball, how aware you are of what's going on around you, how good your decision making is in terms of which pass to make, whether to shoot, etc.

It's just been a lack of training, that's all. Once training starts next week we'll hopefully see a quick improvement in fitness across the squad. And some aching thighs I'm sure.

The main thing is not to give up yet. 4 points could be enough. We could be alright where we are now, you never know, but anything we can do to help out our position is going to benefit, no effort will go to waste.

We have to be honest with ourselves - most of the clubs above us have beaten us this season, but we also have to believe (and I really do believe it) that we're capable of beating any of them. The "lost" column doesn't show how close a lot of those defeats (particularly against the higher teams) have actually been. We're really not that far off, that's how I feel, we just need a bit more oxygen reaching our brains for 90 minutes...

Chin up.

I do agree with you silsy on most of that blog they only think i dont agree on is that for first 20 minutes we were doing that it just summed up are attuitude when we went 1-0 down are heads dropped and it just got worse where as the shefford i no would rise to the challenge. I Dont want to sound like one of those over paid football pundits but we are not too good to go down and everybody needs to realise that fact and start playing every game like a cup final otherwise we will go down and everyone has worked far to hard over the years to let that happen i can handle losing but not without a fight.

We need to be putting more effort in lads, wanting the ball and closing their players down. It's like when you get up early and do lots of stuff during the day, you seem to still have loads of energy throughout the day even though you've been really busy, as opposed to if you get up late and do fu*k all, but you feel tired all the way through the day, even though you havent done anything.

If we really go at teams in the first 15 mins, chase everything, give plenty of options, our energy levels will stay higher and we will keep doing it throughout the whole game. Plus our minds will be sharper then as well, and it will be easier to control the ball, letting our natural skills take over.

It's like after you've scored a goal, you run back to the halfway line and you're raring to go again, even though you should be knackered.

We know we're a good bunch of players, certainly better than that lot yesterday, but we need to use the talent we've got.

I guess we all know how painful that was yesterday. I can hold my hands up and say that was one of my worst individual performances ever, in 90 minutes I think I had the ball under control about 4 times.

Not good fun. It's still within our hands though, just need to hold together and keep our heads up for the next game.

Thank you Mikey, and thank you Hilly for your songs of rejoice. I am indeed a jolly good fellow and there's really no need for the bumps. John Lamb appears to think that I turned 39, though I think it was just a sly move to make Megan think I am over the hill and too old for her. I am, but just not that far over the hill... It was a good move.

33 does look a lot older than 32 though, it's not a good number. I'm told that life begins at 40, so I've got 7 years to prepare for it. Can't help thinking that wasting 20 years of it in "education" was a mistake. Reckon if I'd spent that amount of time with a football instead that I'd be a hell of a lot richer and not working quite the same hours.

Ah well. If I can average a goal per appearance this season I'll stay happy. And my goals this season all have the same thing in common, pure quality...

Hilly you really need to get out more.

With your lot's fitness there's no way you'll manage 33...

And you can look forward to 'The Bumps' on Sunday Shane.

Fureeeeze a jolly good fellooow, fureeeeeze a jolly good felloooow, Fureeeeeeeze a jolly good feeeelloow and so say all of us!

Happy Birthday to yooo, Happy Birthday to yoooo, Happy Birthday dear Shaaaaaane, Happy Birthday to yooooooooooo!

I know it's late so I don't expect any songs or cakes or anything, but today is my birthday. I am now 33 years old and I guess with the lack of Mr Curtis senior, the oldest person in the squad. I remember when I was 26.

Haven't you heard Beeny? That's his boyfriend.... Gay marriage and all that.

Does the fact your watching the mens high bar make you gay?

I've just seen a guy called steve frew on the high bar in the commenwealth games, does anyone know of frewy's long lost brother going straight? or gay should i say as he was a gymnast??

alll blogs welcome.

Good news Smurfy, is that £1 each then? Could have been a lot worse; we've got the old league officials in our pockets. How much did you have to swallow to get it reduced to that, by the way?

I'm really looking forward to Sunday, we pull out our best performances when we need to. Apologies for not coming to the games recently, I think I've only missed three, and I did have genuine reasons for not being able to come, but then if I had been fit I probably would have made the effort to play. So sorry for not turning up to support you, we won the league as a sqaud and we need to pull together as one to get out of this hole, myself very much included.

Onwards, and upwards...

£15??? Bomb Crabbeman, that's what I say! I'm on the fucking breadline here and now I've got to stump up, um, 15 quid divided by a squad of about 16 players, 94p. 94p that could (should) be put towards food or health products, maybe a hat.

See you Sunday morning gents. Looking forward to it.

Boys got notification of the fine from the Hermitage game regarding the late kick off............................ £15.

Not bad.

You've got the league table upside down! What are Shefford doing down near the bottom, has Browny quit being linesman or has Dave Lewis started passing? I just don't understand it!

Gents!

Seven games to save our season.

I'm declaring myself fit for the game on Sunday; I haven't kicked a ball for 2 months, but I spent the weekend walking miles with no reaction, so that's good enough for me! Warm me that bench...

Atchally I can remember playing Monny once - I'll just shut up!

I thought we'd play Hermitage twice, but didn't think we'd played Monument yet.

I fucked up somehow we do not have Monument twice the remaining fixtures are as follows in no particular order:

Hermitage,Chav Friend,Henwick(Twice),Post Office,Newthatch and Monument.

Our destiny is in our own hands.

And yes before anyone says it i am bored at work at this moment in time.

Just thought i'd beat Matt to the round up:

Hampstead Norreys 2 Westwood 3
Post Office 4 Henwick 1
Newthatch 1 Hermitage 6
Paggies 0 Bayer 0


Leaving the table as follows:

Played Points

Hampstead Norreys 17 40
Hermitage 16 36
Chav Friend 15 33
Henwick 17 27
Post Office 15 23
Newthatch 16 20
Westwood 17 20
Bayer 19 19
Monument 18 17
SHEFFORD 13 17
Paggies 15 4

I dont think i need to say how important the Monument game is do i ?

And the Hermitage,Chav Friend,Post Office and Henwick games.

I'd punch you on the way past Matt

I've never done it before, sounds good fun though.

If i'm shit I'll just try and wipe out the good people when they lap me.... A sure way to get a punch afterwards though.

I am either pretty good or crap - never know which it's going to be til the first few corners. Had a couple of podium places in my time but other times have just not got it at all. Bit like my finishing really.

I'm just going to end up embarrassing myself at the karting as I drive like a girl, and I'll probably start screaming if they go to fast!

Mind you, at Grundy's age his eyes can't be what they used to be, so he's bound to crash, leaving me 2nd to last place.

Grundy I'll come down for the karting but then I'll probably head back after that, won't stay down in Bournemouth.

Jokes about being under the thumb welcomed...

We're going to be called Shefford Old Boys soon!

Some things never change....

Match Report for Travellers Friend - Travellers Friend 2 Monument 1

Travellers was pushed all the way by a very new look monument side which seemed to have some very good new players in its team. Travellers could not seem to get any football going in the first half and was lucky not to be behind at half time with Monument hitting the post and Doug Dansie pulling off some fine saves to keep it 0 0 at half time. 2nd half.

Steve Crame put Travellers in front with a good insit from Matty Grantham, then Travellers found themselves being booked for silly incidents and should have known better. Matty Grantham got a second for Travellers, but then Aaron Colbourne got a straight red card and 5 mins later Martin Benson got a second yellow card with 20 mins to go.

Monument was given a life line with a very bad mix up between Doug Dansie in goal and Graham Gower in defence whom both left a ball just to see it tapped in by a monument player which cost Doug Dansie his 100% clean sheet record. Travellers Friend picked up two more yellow cards, but still managed to hold on with 9 men and nearly got a 3rd goal but had to watch the ball hit the post and go back into the Keepers hands.

I know its early doors lads but i'm sorting things out for my 30th birthday at the moment, yes i am actually not the oldest player in the team!!!!! Thanks for that Hilly!!!!

I know we have the shefford do in June so its going to be a small budget for "this once in a lifetime milestone" After this year i won't be able to play the offside trap anymore!!!! Well actually before anyone else gets in i probably should have stopped playing this year.

Anyway, 27th May, its a saturday i have provisionally booked Karting at an indoor track and have a b&b in Bournemouth pencilled in as well but i need to get numbers sorted out. Karting is £20 and b&b is £22 so please can you let me know if your interested??? the more the better and i also have to pay 10% deposit down on the b&b so please only say you'll come if your going to pay!!!!

Thanks lads.

About time they named a club after me. I was pushing for an international side - Trinidad & Tobago & Shane was my first choice. If not, Ivory Shane. But Hermitage Reserves will have to suffice for now.

Hermitage reserves are renaming themselves Shane? Why? Is he their leader.

I wasnt being too serious about my knee thingy, doc says I can start training next week, which is easier said than done because we dont train, but I'll go for some runs and do some swimming and hopefully I'll be back to rule the wing/middle/final third etc.

Itsa great to have 5 games in hand, we just have to get results from them. We know we're good enough, its just remembering that when we're on the pitch and having the confidence in ourselves to play the football we know we can play.

Okay Girls!!!!! So whose venturing out this weekend for a bit of a team morale pissup???? Notice i didn't mention anything to do with Bonding around Shane!!!!! Please No Leather Clothing!!!!!

Bayer have 2 games left to play as do Monument and both of monuments are against us we have 7 left to play.Monument and Henwick twice each,Chav Friend,Newthatch and Hermitage.Unless ive fucked up.
We know we can do it boys we just have to believe in ourselves we are good enough and we will come throgh.

True - like you say we should be going into every game looking to get points. Do you think you'll be out for a couple of weeks or for the rest of the season now?

Whoops! Dunno what I was looking at when I wrote that.

The Monument games are two big games, although every game is as it stands. Got to make sure we are really up for that, as they will be scrapping for each and every point just as much as us.

Good info from Matt - although apparently inaccurate, we're 1 point behind the 2 teams above us with 5 games in hand on each. He calculates our taxes you know.

With one win we could put ourselves in a much healthier position altogether, although we do need that win and can only play Paggies so many times. Good to see Herm Res beat Hampstead Norreys - be great to see them come a credible 2nd again and not get promoted...

Feeling a lot happier after seeing that table, at least we know it's all in our own hands. Bit embarassing being below Bayer in the table, but 5 games in hand explains that as long as we get at least one win out of it.

More results and the current league table below. 3 points behind the two teams above us and five game in hand on both of them (Plus two games against Monument). It's going to be hard work, but we're good enough to pick up points/wins in all our remaining games to drag our arses above mid-table.

Henwick 0 - 0 Westwood Academy

Hermitage Reserves 2 - 1Hampstead Norreys

Shefford 5 - 1Paggies Bar

Travellers Friend 2 - 1Monument


points
1 Hampstead Norreys 16 13 1 2 50 17 33 40
2 Hermitage Reserves 15 10 3 2 60 29 31 33
3 Travellers Friend 15 11 0 4 48 27 21 33
4 Henwick 16 8 3 5 48 37 11 27
5 Newbury Post Office 14 6 2 6 35 32 3 20
6 Newthatch 15 6 2 7 38 36 2 20
7 Bayer 18 5 3 10 31 47 -16 18
8 Monument 18 6 0 12 29 51 -22 18
9 Shefford 13 5 2 6 33 29 4 17
10 Westwood Academy 16 5 2 9 24 39 -15 17
11 Paggies Bar 14 1 0 13 17 69 -52 3

(updated: 05/03/2006)

Sillsy is your injury really that bad? I think the lack of support has been down to the fact that nobody really knows what you've done, figured you'd just strained something, not torn fibres!

Oo's a poor ickle boy den? Johnny is isn't he? Oo is? Yes, Johnny is.

Hope that addresses some of the balance.

Serioulsy mate, when you've broken your leg on the pitch and your arm in training then you can come and bleat to me. Until then, get your kit on and do me a murder run...

Seriously seriously, always better to come back slowly rather than risk aggravating it so don't rush it.

I was looking at the league table last night whilst waiting for my take away curry to be cooked and drinking what tasted like a worryingly vinegary pint of Stella - Hampstead Norreys are 10 points clear and have only lost 1 game this season. Now if you think of the two games we've had against them, there's clear evidence that we are quite capable of lifting ourselves out of the mess we're in and being well clear of it by the end of the season. A little bit of mental application is required and then we're away and running...

Suits me fine - as you say us Reading boys (what's left of us) wanted to come, but there didnt seem much point coming all that way and not finding anyone else there. If we can get a good number, and start some proper training (not just a match) then we're in! (Well, I'm in. Im sure the others will be...)

The little matter of a pulled hamstring muscle, and some torn fibres in my right knee radial ligament (the physio said something like that). I've been literally inundated with text messages of support, flowers, and grapes, though.

Well I think there's definitely an argument to suggest that training should be done once it's light enough to try and get ourselves out of what we have to admit is a relegation situation (not knowing what the hell the league will do in terms of number of teams going up or down).

But it's easy for me to say as I was one of the guilty ones for not turning up to training for the last few months. I'm aware that 'the reading bunch' found it difficult coming over from Reading to just find a few other people and have a kick about, so I'm happy to try and make sure that there's proper training each week, but might have to rely on someone just in case work means I can't make it on the odd night.

What's everyone's thoughts to going outdoors again say 7.30pm on Thursday nights once it's reasonably light? I mean, we used to train in the dark outside, throughout the winter, once upon a time. But that's before the money men came in and took over the place. That was when men were men and only Genghis wore gloves.

Don't know but i'd be up for training again when i'm around in the evenings. depends on everyone else as well. So why have you been missing for the last few ganes Sillsy. was your sex change op a success. lol.

surely we will be when it gets light again though?

cheers lads. I'm BACK!!!!!
Didn't think we were doing training anymore. Not enough numbers so it got knocked on the head. Hope Arsenal go through tonight as well.....it would be nice to see them do well in one competition!!!!!

Consider it done Matthew. I'm quite stunned at the accusations of glory-hunting being levelled at me, but I'm not going to rise to the bait. I'll just comfort myself with the 100-odd Layer Road matchday programmes I have. Now, onto Real Madrid...

When does training start again for us?

Shane, can you re-invite Grundy to blogger, he seems to have lost his link/passwords.

Ta.

pg@kerridge.com

I don't know any other results mate, just looked on that Yellow Jersey site, but it hasn't been updated since our game against Henwick that was called off.

Yeah but we only lost by 1 goal on both occasions to Hampstead Norreys (are they still top?) and didn't play particularly well either time. We don't need to fear anyone, we just need to sort out our own performances. Sunday was a good starter, just need to build on it.

What were the other results Matt?

We should have climbed a spot to 3rd from bottom on goal difference after Sundays points, as Westwood drew with Henwick 0-0 (i think).

Although a point out of that game is probably quiet a good point looking at Henwicks position. We still have to play them twice.

Way to put a positive spin on humiliation John. Good for you. Was the funny night out due to the fact that you were pretending to be a Southend fan and laughing at all your mates?

Does this mean you're back to being an Arsenal fan now?

I see Man Utd fans didn't observe the minute's silence for the Wigan apprentice keeper who got killed on military duty in Iraq. That's not very dignified is it? Bunch of idiots.

The trouble with that is that we would never reach 5000, as noone would ever post 4999 because they would want to win. We would have to wait for a new Bloggerer (?) to blog unsuspectingly...

The Colchester game was ok. The result was terrible but by the time new signing Tony Thorpe had trodden on the ball in front of an open goal, and fallen on his arse, everyone was beginning to see the funny side. Ended up having the funniest night out I've ever had I think!

Bizarrely, I was aching like mad yesterday afternoon and was therefore expecting hell today, but am feeling pretty much okay.

Ad you're probably aching cos you forgot what it was like to tackle gently. I was wincing everyting anyone went near you with the ball. Ref was funny, he kept putting the whistle to his lips but then deciding not to blow. I thought their midfielder was after you at one point but I think the play moved on and he forgot about it.

Do you think we should have a prize for the 5000th post? You could only win it if you weren't post 4999 as well to stop Sillsy sitting in for 24 hours just posting blindly in order to win...

Anyone else's legs aching like fuck today? Or is it just me? Can definatly tell i haven't played for a few weeks!

How was the derby game sillsy??

134 to go.

We are only 136 posts (135 now) away from 5000 on the Shefford blogger.

Imagine it takes, on average, two minutes to write a post, thats 10000 minutes, or approx 160 hours spent writing on here.

160 HOURS!

Amateur.

Sorry - slight confusion with the subs, couldn't remember how it happened so tried to guess who would have come off for Beeny and Browny. Sorry JT.

Slight alteration to shaners report... Beeny came on for crabbman in centre mid and browny came on for grundy on the left. Think the link up play was with JT rather than grundy! All in all a good TEAM performance i feel.

I didnt expect such a comprehensive report, but thanks, now I feel like I was there. Apart from the 'cock out' thing.

Im so paranoid about the Shane/Cat thing that Im going to Italy next weekend, in an attempt to keep you far apart. Or to put it another way, we're away, and therefore I wont be out in Reading, so sorry champ, you'll have to crash on Crabbemans floor...

It was good, took a bit of time to warm up, but even in the first 15 minutes or so we were pushing forwards more - just struggled to show any composure or control so it was all a bit scrappy.

Lewis showed the first bit of composure in the box to lay the ball off to Neil and he scored to show how easy it could be if we just settled down. Miller was causing their defence all sorts of problems and forced the ball through to Lewis who made it 2-0. Miller then fired the ball off the post/cross bar and moments later turned the defender beautifully to dink the ball into the net but the ref disallowed it for a foul - it wasn't it was just proper football.

We had a few more chances, they didn't really have any, a couple of corners but nothing dangerous. It was 2-0 at half time. At the beginning of the second half we were rubbish again, but still not bad enough to really look threatened. Think we were under the impression that the game was already won and it was easier to not put much more effort in. That's probably being a bit harsh but there was definitely a slow-down from the constant improvement there'd been throughout the first half.

Smurf put me and Beeny on for JT and Miller (who had both put in a crap load of effort in the first half) and the rest is history. Within minutes Beeny had put a peachy cross in (to the sound effect of me going "no!" cos I thought he'd have been better passing it to feet, only to watch Hilly rise and guide the ball into the bottom corner - doh. Then Smurfy put Browny on for Crabbeman, who had also put a lot of effort in, and Browny was a man possessed. He linked up really well with Grundy down the left hand side and they kept passing the ball to me. I was trying to remember what this footy lark is all about and eventually Browny found me (again mid "no!" cos I thought I was offside) so I turned and lifted the ball past the keeper into the net and ran off celebrating. Fully expected the goal to be disallowed, but there you go, 4-0.

We had a shit load more chances after that, Neil came close, Genghis should have scored twice and I'm sure there were more. Then Browny attempted some overhead kick clearance and they scored instead. Then Beeny capitalised on a crap clearance and pinged the ball into the top corner with a looping effort, before clattering the bar with another volley moments later.

We were all over em really, 5-1 was fairly flattering to them but at the same time we've played a hell of a lot better and come away with nothing this season, so we'll take what we got and move on. Best thing was that the spirit was good and everyone worked really hard for each other. Ad got man of the match for pretty much ruining 90% of their football - nothing went through the middle of the park at all without his permission. Neil came second cos he caused them trouble throughout the game and on another day could have had a hat trick. JT came third, dunno why.

That was it. Smurf got his knob out in front of the ref. I was watching the "blind penalties" before kick off and saw two people in a row hit the bar, so I said I'd run the line with my cock out if the next person hit the bar. Shouldn't have said that. Cold day for The Little Fireman, I can tell you.

Think that was it - if I missed out any particular incidents from anyone then I apologise. Good game though, we needed it. And, typically, who do we play the week after a good performance? That's right, nobody. We might be having a night out on Saturday though and I'll be looking for a place to crash, so if you're okay with the whole "Cat and Shane" thing and are happy that no matter how much she tries to seduce me I'm mentally strong enough to resist, I'd be delighted. I don't mind which one of us gets the sofa...

Sorry to interrupt the Shane and Beaney Love-in.

Good result today lads, so I've heard. Can only beat what's put in front of you and all that. I've got a few blanks I need filling in though, so if someone could briefly put what happened between the 1st and 90th minute, I'd nbe grateful...



Smurfy - I should be able to start trainnig again in a weeks time.

Either way, up the arse...

Cheryl tweedy or browny, I know which road I'm going and it's straight and without soap on a rope!!!

Sorry to disappoint mate. Speaking of which, I guess all the gooners will be disappointed to read the headlines in today's papers that Ashley Cole is one of gay Premiership orgy participants - "I'm no rear gunner" he claims. Tempted to believe him, you can either sleep with Cheryl Tweedy or a bloke... Tough choice.

And there was me thinking that you where all hero's in your own right, Never mind my mistake. Anyhow Really looking forward to sunday missed all those great times.

I say great times i mean quite amicable times that would surfice any normal person!!

Are you not my hero then shane you dissapoint me!!

Beeny it's not been bad luck it's been a subconscious lack of belief. What we need is the return of a hero, somehow who can bring a bit of heart, passion and want back into the team. So when you walk back into the changing room on Sunday morning, have your head held high and let us all know if you can think of anyone.

Sissy i mean sillsy for one thats very true i do have a small cock and the other thanks for welcoming me back look forward to seeing all you guys on sunday!! hope i can help to get a win as it seems you guys have been a little unlucky as of late!!!

Beenie, on behalf of the team I'd like to say 'You've got a small cock', but that would be offensive and inappropriate, so instead I'll say 'Welcome Back!'.

But I'd like to.

Glory Hunter.....

(?)

OFFICIAL CLUB STATEMENT Beenie is returning to Shefford FC

See us all Sunday? Are you playing for Paggies Bar or are you returning to the fold?

Sillsy i can't quite remember but was your nick name "bone Cruncher harris" in your hay day?

Cheers for the invite shaner i will have to let you know unsure about funding at the moment, like the idea of a trip to the rib crunching wetsuits company again!!

See you all on sunday!!

It's sno-sno-snowing out of my window, oooo the excitement. I can't do that stuff in the video, but I wouldnt want to, I'm no fancy-dan, it's all about tough tackling with my game. Aint that the truth.


How many games do we have left this season?

Beeny I've just tried it and I can't.

You coming to Newquay? As part of the former iron curtain you should really be allowed. It's gonna be sunny this year and everything.