Hi All,

Apologies but that last post wasn't from me - dunno who wrote it but I need to sort the blog out for a little while to make sure it can't happen again... Not the sort of place for things like that to be discussed in detail.

Sorry Matt I deleted your response as well so you can repeat the rest of it if you like.

If you can hold off posting for a couple of days I'll see if I can track what happened.

Cheers,

Shane (actual Shane)

I wont be training this week, I've blagged myself a ticket to see Arsenal vs West Ham. I love the fact that the eight years of success have coincided with my eight years on the season ticket waiting list, and the year I'm going to get one is the year in which we are going to be shit.

Do you know, Colchester are 1000/1 for the F.A. Cup?! Surely thats worth a quid...

Here's an interesting little article for you...

Great result today boys, the unbeaten run starts here...

Sorry guys - I know my attendance at training has been shoddy at best. I am trying my hardest to work more sensible hours but it's just not happening at the moment. As the evenings get a bit lighter we can start to maybe consider going back outside again and doing some 'actual' training cos otherwise we're running the risk of being caught up in another league restructure and finding ourselves in the bottom div again. Don't make me go back there.

Not that accurate Mr Sills,the penguin missed useless out from in front of cu*t

These Penguins can be very rude at times. One called me a cu*t yesterday, so I guess at least they're accurate.

Away to Chav Friend at Brimpton again.

Have we got a game this week?

Charming!!

A message from our Penguin friends...

http://www.paperboy.nl/index.cfm?PID=02AD1EB8-06F3-D9B6-1523498404902A57

(Safe for Work)

TRAINING !!

Tonight - 8.30pm - Park House School.

We need more than last weeks 'five' - anymore weeks where the number of people doesn't cover the cost of hiring the hall and unfortunately it'll have to be cancelled.

...and as Shane said, we need need all the fitness we can get at the moment!

Well I did have a think through the squad, wondering whether to put "our defence" or "our midfield" and I figured that more midfielders come to training/come on the blogger/are closer to me whenever I'm on the pitch, so "our defence" it was.

I actually thought our defence played quite well on Sunday - we've never been the best in the air and they got two goals through that route which is just a shame, nobody really to blame for any of their goals and other than that we kept them down to very few chances.

The best bit was when we went 3 at the back and they really didn't get much of a look in for those last 20 minutes, now Smurf knows you don't need 4 of you back there should make selection a little easier... ;-)

Who is this sillsy person? he keeps ranting on about league 1....oh well.
Thanks for your motivational techniques Shane, by calling our entire defence 'the average by-stander' I'm sure it will give us all confidence in the up coming games and inspire us on to better things....sheer genius!

By the way, has everyone seen the League One table this weekend...

Was it windy?

Yeah it's no shame losing 3-2 to the top team. Just a shame that the top team really aren't that convincing - I reckon if our start of the season had been only slightly different that we'd be up there competing and that makes it a lot easier when you're 3-1 down to motivate yourself to get back into it.

But if we're losing by one goal to them (and being damn unlucky not to have given them a real turning over - imagine of those first few chances we'd had had all gone in, they'd have been blown apart) then we don't really need to fear anyone else in the league, we just need to find that motivation during the 90 minutes, especially if we go behind, we seem to drop our heads very easily at the moment.

And Miller doesn't need to be scared for his place, he showed a few touches of brilliance in the first half and was just bizarrely unlucky not to score twice in the first 45 minutes. I came on, got knackered running over to the ref to tell him my name, got caught offside twice, fell over for a penalty (not fair to call it a dive, even I was laughing on the way down) then tried to get in the way of a Dave Lewis shot, then hassled a defender with my last breaths and as the ball spilled out I had no energy to run with it so had a dig and my god what a dig!

Dunno how it looked to the average by-stander (our defence) :-) but I kind of caught it right and it looped up and curled in, dipping snugly under the bar. A bit further to the right it would have looked better, proper top corner job, but I was happy enough. Nice to make their keeper look stupid cos he was a gobby bastard.

Unlucky Yesterday lads. I was tucked up in bed hoping you could notch a win. Unfortunately not with anyone!!!! Should be back this week now i have recovered from Man-Flu. Shane with a sreamer or was it really just another mishit cross!!!!! Miller's gotta be worried about his place now!!!!! PLEASE SMURF!!!!! Anyway shame you could'nt quite find the ammunition, better make sure we win next weekend then really just to get us back into the winning habit.

Unlucky yesterday boys, only one goal in it (again) and I think it'd be fair to say that if the result had been the other way around no one could have complained. We were dead unlucky in that first 25 minutes not to be 3 goals up but then from where I was stood it seemed like fitness was the main culprit. We got pegged back and didn't really seem to have the motivation to fight back with much conviction - if you think about all the chances we had in the first half and then think of the lack of chances in the second half, that says it all.

That said, we played some good stuff and tore them apart in the first half so it's nothing ot be ashamed of - just no points to show for all the good work.

I'll talk you through my goal once I've stopped telling all my colleagues and clients about it.

http://www.dropitlikeitshoff.com/

Check it out before Friday...

Sunday we are away to Hampstead Norreys at Brimpton

You have to admire their staying power - usually teams that come in and get tonked every single game don't make it far into their second season.

Westwood just have that knack of not losing to us, but you're right there have been too many games where we've not picked up all 3 points when we really should have. I don't think it helps sometimes when the league fixtures are so disjointed. Now we should go into a run of consistent games it might help the team to gel a bit better. Or it might not.

I don't think I'm gonna be at training tonight but will try my best...

I've got no idea, I don't think next week was mentioned. How the hell we didn't pick up 3 points on Sunday I don't know.

We have about 3 games in hand on most teams at the moment, but we need to win them, otherwise we're being playing Blue Ball again next year...

...and don't be fooled by them, they only conceded 13 this week.

Who are we playing on Sunday and is it home or away?

Ahem. GamEs.

Indeed you would, as a "gam" I believe is Glaswegian slang for oral sex. So to be top of the league with four blowjobs waiting to happen is indeed an enviable position to find oneself in.

Think I'd settle for bottom of the league with four gams in hand.

The rumour flying around Shefford yesterday was that we are third bottom, but with 4 gams in hand on everyone else. Still, rather be top with four gams in hand on everyone else...

So I heard it was 2-2 yesterday with Lewis missing a last minute penalty. Seems that Westwood's hoodoo over Shefford continues.

They have a knack of getting bizarre wins when we're top of the table and they're bottom, or draws when we should have nicked it. I remember a game last season when at 3-3 and no time left I nicked the ball off their centre back, neatly rounded the keeper and then got the ball tied up between my legs before shooting it directly against the one person standing on the line.

Never mind, the weekend was boosted by City drubbing Utd, Sven making a complete arse of himself and MK Dons remaining bottom of League One, a full 7 points off safety and no wins in 10 games. And at least you guys got a point.

Anyone seen a league table recently to check where we are?

http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=wYzu_Gx3Et8&search=fights

A nice video of Violence in Football...

Thanks Shane

Yep... long time ago.

I wasnt even playing for Shefford then you tossers i was Premier league class

No, I was in goal for the A team that day.

You were in goal for the 'A' team weren't you?

I was at that 6 a side as well, started drinking about 9 am and was drinking during games,had cans in the goal.Cant remember who i was playing for.

Those were the days...........

We were at that '6v6' playing for AFC I think, we only knew Browny at the time, and if I remember rightly he actually scored in either the quater or the semi final... I could well be wrong.

Is that the 5 a side tournament were browny locked a 20stone beast women in his car because he was to embarssed to admit that he had shagged her the night before the memories!!!!!!

It's 6-a-side. But your point remains the same. A little harder to stretch to two teams of 6 but we should be able to do it. The last one I ever played in was just before I became manager and was held at Lambourn Sports Ground. It was great fun and Shefford B as we were called somehow found ourselves in the semi final, only went out on a golden goal as well. So I'm all for it.

That time we put players into positions and drew positions out of a hat in order that there was no real A or B team as such - just stopped anyone feeling that they were shit. The A team as they were, were actually shit, but no one told them. It's a fun day out after all.

I'm not paying £112 just to avoid a nice drive down to Newquay when the weekend is gonna cost enough in booze anyway. The traffic wasn't brilliant last year but it wasn't that bad, plus now I've got my new faster car and an iPod to go in it I'm almost looking forward to the drive, even if I do get stuck in traffic...

"Hey cutie, (beep beep), off surfing in Newquay for the weekend in my Audi TT. Where're you heading?"

"Fack off you nonce"

(sound of window winding back up)

Mebbe I'll fly.

Driving would be cheaper then, but takes longer! To be fair, the drive there isn't too bad - although I am only a passenger!

That 5v5 sounds good Shane, we could easily get a team or 2 or maybe even 3 together for that. 5v5 tournaments are always a good laugh.

I looked up the flight details last night and the minimum price is coming out at £58 return, more likely (i.e. friendlier flight times) coming out at £112. For that, I figure it's gonna be better to drive it.

Might take a look nearer the time to see if there's any last-minute discounts, or maybe if enough are interested we could look at a group booking. I'm a bit wary about chartering our own plane as that's what the rugby team did in Alive and I'm not crashing on Dartmoor and resulting to eating Smurf. Plus I have visions of Smurf starting the cannabalism before the plane develops any problems...

How have we transpired to lose that game eh?

Open goals, own goals, shots cleared off the line and agonising Gazza-in-Euro-'96-Semi-finals moments. Still, cracking cup match, and we played some pretty nice football at times.

Who have we got this weekend? And are we gonna get a plane to Newquay then?

Sounds good. Bad time to be asking for cold hard cash though Mr Smurf but I'll see what I can do.

To add to the things to look forward to list - I have received a letter from a club we played a couple of seasons ago in the Berks and Bucks - beat them 4-0 or something and they didn't have a shot on goal (I was in goal). Lewis scored a goal of the season contender (maybe winner?) in the first 5 seconds. Scouse nutter was the ref.

Anyway, they're holding a 6-a-side tournament one weekend in the summer - it's only £25 to enter a team. Figured if the dates are good we might be able to enter a team or maybe even two?

I'll bring the letter along on Sunday and show it to you Gaffer.

Right you lovely boys:
Good news we are provisionally booked in the Newquay Reef Surf Lodge on 16th June for 2 nights.
Bad News i need to send off full payments £30. The sooner the better.

Man I ache. The first 10 minutes were scary - not good for a 32 year old to be running around with a chest as tight as that unless that chest belongs to an 18yr old blonde.

Strangely felt better for the last half hour - then the last 20 seconds were possibly the funniest 20 seconds I've known for a long time.

Great fun. You just don't get that at other clubs.

I'll let you know Hilly that i had to turn Tango down last week cos i got a raise at Wonka's, a packet of smarties and a chocolate teapot!!!!! Coming from a caveman like you i take it as a compliment, oh and here's a little something to help you at the weekend,

Offside; occupying a position on the field where the ball is not allowed

Fighting talk Grundy? I know for a fact that Willy Wonka wouldn't allow any violence in his establishment, you would become an orange faced outcast and you would be hard pushed to find work elsewhere except perhaps down t' mines where you would be just a shadow of your former self mistaken for a black midget.

www.bluewingssurfschool.co.uk

£20 Per Person Half Day

They cater for stag Hen and group parties as well as individuals and they run buses to other beaches as well as using Fistral Beach

Seems most people i have heard from at the moment are for up for this date,we will go on the fiday(Times people leave depending on work committments)and return on the Sunday.We normally get back around 4ish on the Sunday.
Not sure of deposit situation at moment think Shane said first nights pay,so it will be £15 deposit.
This is the last weekend you can book up to stay nightly,after that you have to book full Weeks.It was an OK place we stayed and in a pretty good location so the sooner i get the yes's from people the sooner i can book and make sure we get the accomodation.
We can sort the surfing out once we have a roof over our heads.
Spread the word to people who dont have access to blogger then we can get it sorted.

So, is that confirmed...? Sounds good to me.

ohhh Hilly, thats fightin talk from where i'm from.
I know the one thing to put you off your balance anyway...............

OFFSIDE!!!!!

UNOFFICIAL STATEMENT/QUESTION:

Smurfy do you need all the readies up front or just a deposit? Oh yeah and Grundy forgot to ask do Oompa Loompa's get a half price discount as they're only half a person?

I shall be there, ready to wow the local ladies with my surfing skills in the daytime and disco skills in the evening. Might get a little more sleep on the Friday night this year so that I'm not falling asleep in the pub before we go surfing.

Mebbe try and book a different surf school this year too - not cos they were crap but because it'd be nice not to have the mile-long hike with a surf board to and from the beach and across a fucking golf course...

Finally, might try and leave the club/pub/wherever each night on my own as there's less chance of getting into a fight or kissing a man.

Count me in Smurf, how many nights do you normally go for? and is the plan to go on the friday?

OFFICIAL SHEFFORD FC STATEMENT:...

The date i have in mind for Newquay 2006 is Friday June 16th.This is staying at the same place as last year at £15 per head per night.
This is the last weekend available on a nightly basis before September so the weather should be pretty decent and the world cup on large screens.
Let me know asap so i can book loads in advance to make sure we get in.

Thank you Statto. Not sure if I'm looking forward to training tonight or not. Obviously enjoy training but have enjoyed all the food and beer that Christmas can bring and missed about the last 4 trainings before as well so I may suffer and vomit and stuff...

Happy New Year Lads...... and lewis.
Caversham town only just managed to beat Henwick 4-3 in a previuos round of the Berks and Bucks. Average results as well, played 7, won 3. lost 4. Concede a few goals as well, so lets hope we can pull off another good cup result on sunday!!!!!

Good Luck Boys in your post christmas/new year run in to the title!!

Hope you all had a good christmas and new year and matt got a good pair of new boots from shedta and his reindeer!

Have a good second half to the season!

Training on this week?

Happy New Year n all that