Friday, October 31, 2003
We've got 13 players for Sunday, so just the two subs at the moment. See how it's feeling mate, it's only a cup game so I wouldn't want you to play and then be out for a few league games for no reason. But it's up to you, you know how it feels and what you can do on it. If you fancy it then go along, but don't push it.
The Chelsea game is being played on Weds 3rd December 2003. Tickets are on General sale 19th November 2003. I don't know but I'd imagine it will be either 2 or 4 per caller??
It's a shame this task is only a two week one, but I suppose thats half the challenge. RFC are always doing promotions for 'Kick Racism out of football' we could have done a photo shoot with them, with us all wearing the t-shirts they provide and got it in the match day program!!! And 4-4-2 and Match and we could have all flashed our naked chests wearing them and got it in the 'Sport' for Smurf.
It's a shame this task is only a two week one, but I suppose thats half the challenge. RFC are always doing promotions for 'Kick Racism out of football' we could have done a photo shoot with them, with us all wearing the t-shirts they provide and got it in the match day program!!! And 4-4-2 and Match and we could have all flashed our naked chests wearing them and got it in the 'Sport' for Smurf.
Thursday, October 30, 2003
Good bit of jogging this morning Bellamy had me sweating just watching you, Any chance or getting us in my daily paper The sport they have loads of tits in there.Im up for sunday big time i hope i have an early 50/50 with Blackford i wont stop. Doug cook is reffing sunday so game should flow a bit we can beat them over rated fuckwits.I was going to come training tonight in my missus french maids uniform and thigh boots i got from Ann Summers im gutted you was blagging i aint coming now get wet you twats.Ghenghis im going to rip you stitches open sunday and fuck you in the showers
The winning thing will be a viral email. I'll bring my digicamera down tonight (might not be there til the end) and we'll try and shoot a very quick but funny video clip, then start emailing it round to everyone, telling them (in another email, to email it on and so on and so forth). Any ideas? I was thinking a good, hard wedgie... volunteers welcome.
Yeah, we need to get the details of everyone's local papers - The Reading ones for the Reading boys and the NWN (got) but also the Hungerford thingy and anything they do in Thatcham. I'll contact Kick FM to see if they're interested in running anything. I'll try Soccer AM but I can't imagine they'd be interested considering it's a BBC thing not a Sky thing, but worth a try. I'll also try Meridian TV to see if they want to do anything. What local news do you get in Reading?
I bet you've got ideas coming out of your ears for this one haven't you Shane? Sounds right up your street!! We have one in todays paper.
I won't be seeing or speaking to Tony before training so I'll just let him turn up! But I very much doubt he'll be wearing it while driving! He only does that on Sunday nights....
I won't be seeing or speaking to Tony before training so I'll just let him turn up! But I very much doubt he'll be wearing it while driving! He only does that on Sunday nights....
Genuine Email from Radio 1: We've got this one in the bag....
Hello and congratulations to you our remaining 5 teams! The next bit of your challenge is Going to be called 'Column Inches' ..!
Basically we want you to see how much press you can generate for yourselves, where and how is up to you. Because it's quite a tricky one we're going to give you 2 weeks to do it. Nemone will announce it on air this weekend and by next weekend we'll measure exactly how many column inches you've managed to score yourselves! You can be as creative as you like with this one, no rules as such.
The only thing we ask is can you drop us a line and let us know what you're going to do before you do it. We've just been warned by our press office that if any of you do anything that brings Radio 1 into disrepute we'll get bollocked. (Not quite sure what bringing Radio 1 into disrepute means but I'm guessing nothing illegal!)
If you need to check anything with us on Monday or Tuesday give me a call on 07967973023 as we'll be out of the office.
Good luck!
Speak to you all soon
CC x
Hello and congratulations to you our remaining 5 teams! The next bit of your challenge is Going to be called 'Column Inches' ..!
Basically we want you to see how much press you can generate for yourselves, where and how is up to you. Because it's quite a tricky one we're going to give you 2 weeks to do it. Nemone will announce it on air this weekend and by next weekend we'll measure exactly how many column inches you've managed to score yourselves! You can be as creative as you like with this one, no rules as such.
The only thing we ask is can you drop us a line and let us know what you're going to do before you do it. We've just been warned by our press office that if any of you do anything that brings Radio 1 into disrepute we'll get bollocked. (Not quite sure what bringing Radio 1 into disrepute means but I'm guessing nothing illegal!)
If you need to check anything with us on Monday or Tuesday give me a call on 07967973023 as we'll be out of the office.
Good luck!
Speak to you all soon
CC x
Insurance? Eh? I'll have a look tonight for a form, seem to remember we get some public liability insurance or something through the Farts & Fucks, and get Julie to bring it along on Sunday. Can you fill in the form? Does it need to be my signature?
No info from Radio 1 yet, a little worrying, but I'm sure it'll all become clear sooner or later... If it does turn out to be dressing up as birds then I'm gonna have a hard job convincing you now aren't I...
No info from Radio 1 yet, a little worrying, but I'm sure it'll all become clear sooner or later... If it does turn out to be dressing up as birds then I'm gonna have a hard job convincing you now aren't I...
I was looking forward to wearing my high heals tonight....what do we have to do for radio 1 then??
Shane - i need you to fill in the form before next Thursday if we to use it...and a copy of our insurance!!!!
Shew - i do not have a sister and if i did i would not let her anywhere near you!!! but my mum is on offer at a reasonble price!!!! let me know if your intrested.....
Shane - i need you to fill in the form before next Thursday if we to use it...and a copy of our insurance!!!!
Shew - i do not have a sister and if i did i would not let her anywhere near you!!! but my mum is on offer at a reasonble price!!!! let me know if your intrested.....
Okay, so you don't really have to dress up as women. Just a fantasy of mine, but never mind...
I went for a run this morning before work - Smuf can vouch for me cos he saw me and beeped his horn lots. Really struggled with it too if that helps anybody feel better about themselves, then forgot to shave so I feel like shit and look like shit. Nice.
Big hearts on Sunday boys you know what you're up against but you know exactly what you're capable of - you can score goals past them and you can keep them quiet so give it all you've got, it's only a cup game and you don't play them again in the league so you've got nothing to lose.
Got Crabbeman's booking through from the Partick game yesterday - very dull write up by the ref. Anyone seen the NWN today? "Goal machine Lewis..." And we got the headline too - SHEFFORD TAKE THEIR TIME - not exactly the currant bun but that's why they're in Newbury.
I went for a run this morning before work - Smuf can vouch for me cos he saw me and beeped his horn lots. Really struggled with it too if that helps anybody feel better about themselves, then forgot to shave so I feel like shit and look like shit. Nice.
Big hearts on Sunday boys you know what you're up against but you know exactly what you're capable of - you can score goals past them and you can keep them quiet so give it all you've got, it's only a cup game and you don't play them again in the league so you've got nothing to lose.
Got Crabbeman's booking through from the Partick game yesterday - very dull write up by the ref. Anyone seen the NWN today? "Goal machine Lewis..." And we got the headline too - SHEFFORD TAKE THEIR TIME - not exactly the currant bun but that's why they're in Newbury.
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Gay Boy Sills?! Dont you know Im from Essex Shrew-man! Just because I turned you down...
My girlfriend has a very small coat.
I dont think Ghengis should play sunday, I dont want to be running down the wing after we have switched sides and be slipping on his shit. Also, imagine if you are the person who had to clean the kit?! That would be worse than Crabbeman's sweat-covered shirt and blood stained socks.
Ive heard that Frew is flexible at the back, he can get into tight spaces, play deep etc.
My girlfriend has a very small coat.
I dont think Ghengis should play sunday, I dont want to be running down the wing after we have switched sides and be slipping on his shit. Also, imagine if you are the person who had to clean the kit?! That would be worse than Crabbeman's sweat-covered shirt and blood stained socks.
Ive heard that Frew is flexible at the back, he can get into tight spaces, play deep etc.
I should think so yes. I guess it depends a little on when our last game is and whether it's on or not, but not that much, and it's easier to do it on a Sunday so it doesn't clash with other Christmas stuff that people are doing. Cool. Everyone happy with Newbury this year or do people want to go for something more ambitious? I'm happy just doing a few bars in Newbury and then whingeing about the queue for Liquid... I think the guys at the Halfway are thinking about closing early and having a semi-joint Christmas do, so there's more people to make it merrier - they get fit footballers and we get waitresses! Stay away from Vicky though (not Smurf's sister) as she's engaged to Phil, the chef who's got a lot of sharp knives...
Okay, not too bad then. See, this is why having a big squad isn't such a bad thing after all, this week we're down to just 13 available.
Frew - if required, how comfortable are you at right back? Only reason I ask is that if Mr Curtis is feeling anything like me at the moment then there's a good chance he's going to snap something on Sunday, I know Hilly has played fullback before, just wondered what your flexibility is across the back?
Frew - if required, how comfortable are you at right back? Only reason I ask is that if Mr Curtis is feeling anything like me at the moment then there's a good chance he's going to snap something on Sunday, I know Hilly has played fullback before, just wondered what your flexibility is across the back?
Dont know how long, had an x-ray at 11.30 last night after waiting for 2 hours. This was after one huge heffa of a nurse that resembled one of matt's friday night play things had tried to bend the nail back with all her strength. Came really close to swinging for her! Got a little chip off the bone, but she said they dont usually cause much of a problem, just gotta wait for swelling and bruising to go so hopefully only a week or two.
Shit. How long do you reckon it'll be before it's good enough to play again? And how did you do it? And which toe? Who saw it happen? Why didn't they stop it from happening? Who said "Cellar Door is the most beautiful phrase in the English language?" Why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near? Who is Kaiser Sosei? Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it? When is it really time for house?
Well that sorts out the squad for Sunday anyway now down to the basic 11 and 2 subs!
Well that sorts out the squad for Sunday anyway now down to the basic 11 and 2 subs!
I don't think Lisa would thank you for that.
Email from Radio 1:
"Hi Shane,
This week we need another photo again, but this time it's the ladies football round, so we need a photo of your team dressed as women! If you can email it to me again that'd be great, the post here is no better. Look forward to seeing the pics...
Catherine xx"
I'll give Genghis my camera before tomorrow night with the software so he can email the photo across on Friday morning.
Email from Radio 1:
"Hi Shane,
This week we need another photo again, but this time it's the ladies football round, so we need a photo of your team dressed as women! If you can email it to me again that'd be great, the post here is no better. Look forward to seeing the pics...
Catherine xx"
I'll give Genghis my camera before tomorrow night with the software so he can email the photo across on Friday morning.
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
Well I managed to go for a run yesterday, in the dark too so plenty of ankle and knee jolting moments along Shefford's country lanes. I have pulled my left hamstring right up in the bit that goes up around my butt-tock and it hurts. I find I'm in the least pain if I keep moving, but I agree if you asked me to play another game now, I would say no. As for Thursday, I'm not going to be there but I'll tell Mikey to take it steady, I think 120 minutes of football is enough fitness work for 1 week, though a few gentle jogs might be good to stretch things out again.
Mikey last time you were in charge against Cold Ash it was not a nice day. I expect the scoreline to be the same, just the other way around this Sunday, I accept nothing less. With that defence and that goalie, we should be able to shut them out. And Neil and Dave can score against anyone. I shall be listening to the radio on Sunday afternoon - may even be able to get back from Jersey in time to join you all at the pub.
Mikey last time you were in charge against Cold Ash it was not a nice day. I expect the scoreline to be the same, just the other way around this Sunday, I accept nothing less. With that defence and that goalie, we should be able to shut them out. And Neil and Dave can score against anyone. I shall be listening to the radio on Sunday afternoon - may even be able to get back from Jersey in time to join you all at the pub.
Okay we've got the bare 14 on Sunday so just your three subs so nobody has to definitely miss out. Remember if you're a defender sub then there's more of a chance of not getting on - the Bellamy/Genghis management team don't like making unnecessary changes at the back, just the way it is. This week the team is being picked by me, managed by Mikey, so if you're not happy with starting as sub then don't give Genghis a hard time, he's had stuff stuck up his arse so he doesn't need it from you guys too. I'm sorry to the midfielders as I know none of you are really getting a decent run in the side at the moment, probably to the detriment of your performances, but if I ask everyone to name their best middle 4 then I'll get a load of different replies, so again that's just the way it is at the moment.
As it is nobody who I've got down as not definitely starting this week is there because of any shite performance, most people played well on Sunday, some people played out of their skin, some people could be accused of being a little pedestrian but then it was a long old game. If you want to know why you're starting sub on Sunday then ask Mikey, he'll tell you I picked the team so he doesn;t know. I'm back Monday so you can ask me then. The Coward School Of Management.
As it is nobody who I've got down as not definitely starting this week is there because of any shite performance, most people played well on Sunday, some people played out of their skin, some people could be accused of being a little pedestrian but then it was a long old game. If you want to know why you're starting sub on Sunday then ask Mikey, he'll tell you I picked the team so he doesn;t know. I'm back Monday so you can ask me then. The Coward School Of Management.
Not really mate, you came up with the Molly Malone thing. Anyway I'll be hear for the ideas for the next 2 weeks, then away for the next 2, which means you'll get the credit for getting us into the final. Then I'll come back, manage the team and lose in the final just like last season. Quality. You'll be fine, it'll be good experience for you. If you're afraid of failing, just make sure you don't. Easy eh? And you don't see yourself talking on the radio, that's the point. You're sharp enough on the footy pitch, you can handle a conversation with Nemone. And if you get stuck, just sing a Shefford song and you'll get a laugh.
I'm not really a film person so I haven't seen much of his stuff, or many movies like it, so it's all a new experience to me!!
I'm not point blankly refusing, but I'm just not sure if I'm the right man for the job! Plus I don't wanna be the one that ruins it now we've come this far!!
Can't see myself talking on the radio (if that was to happen like the other week).
If no one else wants to do it, I'll give it my best shot.... But I'd need more ideas from people than you would need!!
I'm not point blankly refusing, but I'm just not sure if I'm the right man for the job! Plus I don't wanna be the one that ruins it now we've come this far!!
Can't see myself talking on the radio (if that was to happen like the other week).
If no one else wants to do it, I'll give it my best shot.... But I'd need more ideas from people than you would need!!
I can understand why some people would like Kill Bill - it's cos they're thick. I just thought "fair enough I know it's not meant to be realistic or anything" but the black woman was supposed to be a deadly assassin and missed her with a gun from a whole 2 metres away. Whoops, what a time for that to happen. Then the rest of the film was taken up with 50% people fighting with swords and 50% them looking at their swords and going oooh. I think he was trying to recreate an old martial arts movie and he succeeded. Trouble is we've moved on 40 years now and that's not good enough anymore. It was far too slow and too self indulgent - it's like he sat down and thought "how many places can I think of where a sword fight would look cool" and then got a budget. At the end when they went out into the snow (even though there had been no snow anywhere around the town before) and started fighting I thought "fuck me! a sword fight - where'd he think that up?" and before they started fighting they both looked at their swords and went oooh. Sorry, just thought Tarantino can do a hell of a lot better than that.
Tell Cat not to get too used to having our results read out on the radio. Though we might push for our own screen on Soccer Saturday as they scroll through all the leagues. They have Scottish Div 3 so we can't be far off.
No idea about the radio this week, don't tend to find out til Wednesday or Thursday, unless it needs some planning. In terms of while I'm away, I had thought of Matt but he's obviously completely not keen to do it. So if someone has a suggestion of someone to take over, speak now - they need to be easily contactable by email and mobile and able to get in touch with the footy team quickly.
Tell Cat not to get too used to having our results read out on the radio. Though we might push for our own screen on Soccer Saturday as they scroll through all the leagues. They have Scottish Div 3 so we can't be far off.
No idea about the radio this week, don't tend to find out til Wednesday or Thursday, unless it needs some planning. In terms of while I'm away, I had thought of Matt but he's obviously completely not keen to do it. So if someone has a suggestion of someone to take over, speak now - they need to be easily contactable by email and mobile and able to get in touch with the footy team quickly.
your welcome mr Sills, I have also heard mixed reviews of Kill Bill, alot of people at work have seen it and said it was great and other said is was wasn't. I will just have to watch it and make my own decision about it.
Why is that strange that Cat knew the score John, they did say it on Radio 1, while we were in the car on the way home, Any ideas what we gota do for this week Shane? Who is taking over from you when you go away??
Why is that strange that Cat knew the score John, they did say it on Radio 1, while we were in the car on the way home, Any ideas what we gota do for this week Shane? Who is taking over from you when you go away??
Monday, October 27, 2003
1. Cheers for the compliment Browny!
2. Shane, did you really think Kill Bill sucked? I loved it, went with Cat, the Shrew, Crabbeman, Nigel, Rob and John Lamb, and they all thought it was great. Maybe you should go and see 'Down with Love', sounds like that or Finding Nemo is more your scene...
3. Got home yesterday, I said to Cat, 'Do you want to know the score?', she said, '7-4 wasnt it? I heard it on the radio'. That was odd.
4. Things wrong with Fifa...You cant save the camara height/zoom...The crowd dont cheer loud enough when you score...the 'Off the Ball control' is to complicated, takes to long to activate...and thats about it! Sign of a brilliant game is when I can only pick 3 things wrong
2. Shane, did you really think Kill Bill sucked? I loved it, went with Cat, the Shrew, Crabbeman, Nigel, Rob and John Lamb, and they all thought it was great. Maybe you should go and see 'Down with Love', sounds like that or Finding Nemo is more your scene...
3. Got home yesterday, I said to Cat, 'Do you want to know the score?', she said, '7-4 wasnt it? I heard it on the radio'. That was odd.
4. Things wrong with Fifa...You cant save the camara height/zoom...The crowd dont cheer loud enough when you score...the 'Off the Ball control' is to complicated, takes to long to activate...and thats about it! Sign of a brilliant game is when I can only pick 3 things wrong
Frew The Shrew! Did you find your phone in the end? There were rumours that you were seen going back into the car park as the last of our lot left - you weren't going back to finish off that little shit were you? If so, well done. Bit ironic for a scouser to come down here and get something nicked eh? In all seriousness, I had my cash card, some cash and a bloody nice t-shirt in those changing rooms and it was all safe and sound when I got back, so hopefully no one nicked your phone.
Anyone hear how Stevie T got on yesterday?
Quick mention to Rob for a superb game yesterday, had a hand in 5 out of the 7 goals I reckon, and Hilly even though he doesn't read this, he had a tough game against quite a strong attacker but kept him pretty much quiet. Dave obviously for his just your five goals and Paul Curtis for making the most of the space we had on the right whenever we had the chance. How good are we that we can rest players like John Lamb and Neil and still score 7?
Anyone hear how Stevie T got on yesterday?
Quick mention to Rob for a superb game yesterday, had a hand in 5 out of the 7 goals I reckon, and Hilly even though he doesn't read this, he had a tough game against quite a strong attacker but kept him pretty much quiet. Dave obviously for his just your five goals and Paul Curtis for making the most of the space we had on the right whenever we had the chance. How good are we that we can rest players like John Lamb and Neil and still score 7?
Good bit of fitness for us anyway, nice to push ourselves like that. Need to start being a bit more arrogant in defence though, think of all the clean sheets we kept last season. Need to get back to defending like that. Too many mix-ups in our box, and on Sunday way too many free kicks given away when the only pressure they had was from free kicks, we made it hard for ourselves. It's quite a common thing on a footy pitch that your brain kind of switches off, we need to lift ourselves out of that a bit and start realising that if all the attacks we're having in a game are going down the right hand side, then even if you're on the left then if there's nothing obvious going forwards then have a look at switching it. Our strengths will be different in every game, but as a team we need to realise that and work to them in each case.
Okay, latest stats are that Dave Lewis is top of the MOTM points total, but Rob is still ahead on points per game. I now have a better goal to game average than Neil, Matt and John Sills, but my MOTM points suck. Dave Lewis has already reached double figures for the season and is just under a 2 goals per game average. Good to see. Nobody called him a selfish fooker yesterday did they? I was itching for a hattrick but then Dave was itching for 2!!! Got his name on the radio, oooh.
Okay, latest stats are that Dave Lewis is top of the MOTM points total, but Rob is still ahead on points per game. I now have a better goal to game average than Neil, Matt and John Sills, but my MOTM points suck. Dave Lewis has already reached double figures for the season and is just under a 2 goals per game average. Good to see. Nobody called him a selfish fooker yesterday did they? I was itching for a hattrick but then Dave was itching for 2!!! Got his name on the radio, oooh.
I have stiff muscles where I didn't even know I had muscles. Had an email waiting for me this morning obviously sent by the radio 1 bint over the weekend, asking whether our one booking this season was a yellow card. I replied just with "You're so sweet."
Through again then, and a nice little Berks & Bucks run going too. It's nice actually, in any round you can get drawn against a top quality side and slaughtered, but it would have been unfortunate given the unfortunate sequence of our matches so far this season. Still, another cup game next week and then we can turn our attention back to league matters, hopefully showing what we're made of against the rest of the teams in our league. Quite ironic that Long Witts will have been sat there Sunday afternoon saying that they can't believe how they collapsed after going 4-3 down, after all the hard work they put in, sounds familiar doesn't it? Not really the same though, cos at no point had they been all over us, whereas we had been all over Partick. But ah well, we showd some character to win out in a frustrating game. 4 shoddy shoddy goals to give away, but we scored 2 shoddy ones ourselves. If we'd gone two goals up at any point in the 90 minutes then we'd have run away with it, even with that ref wanting it to go to penalties, perhaps he had nothing to go home to.
But there we are, good fun all round. Thought Hilly did well to not carry things on once the game got restarted, I can't ask anyone not to go mental when someone's just tried to headbutt them, but Hilly did the right thing, put the wind up the guy so much that he virtually asked to be sent off, then calmed down and got on with the game.
Goal machine Dave Lewis, he stole my cat.
Through again then, and a nice little Berks & Bucks run going too. It's nice actually, in any round you can get drawn against a top quality side and slaughtered, but it would have been unfortunate given the unfortunate sequence of our matches so far this season. Still, another cup game next week and then we can turn our attention back to league matters, hopefully showing what we're made of against the rest of the teams in our league. Quite ironic that Long Witts will have been sat there Sunday afternoon saying that they can't believe how they collapsed after going 4-3 down, after all the hard work they put in, sounds familiar doesn't it? Not really the same though, cos at no point had they been all over us, whereas we had been all over Partick. But ah well, we showd some character to win out in a frustrating game. 4 shoddy shoddy goals to give away, but we scored 2 shoddy ones ourselves. If we'd gone two goals up at any point in the 90 minutes then we'd have run away with it, even with that ref wanting it to go to penalties, perhaps he had nothing to go home to.
But there we are, good fun all round. Thought Hilly did well to not carry things on once the game got restarted, I can't ask anyone not to go mental when someone's just tried to headbutt them, but Hilly did the right thing, put the wind up the guy so much that he virtually asked to be sent off, then calmed down and got on with the game.
Goal machine Dave Lewis, he stole my cat.
hey all,
well what an interesting day it was yesterday, Hilly nearly lamping some block out due to being headbutted. Dave frew giving a crunching tackle on that little shit, who thought he was gods gift to football.
And us, well what can we say, bit dissapointing that we let the led slip three times, can't really put my finger on why.
I thought Dave and John did really well when they came on, I think they commanded the midfiled better than me and Adam did, but that comes down to experience.
All in all we didn't really make it easy for ourselves, we should have done it in the full 90, but nevermind, we got through and now hopeully we get home draw, so we don't have to go a million miles away.
well what an interesting day it was yesterday, Hilly nearly lamping some block out due to being headbutted. Dave frew giving a crunching tackle on that little shit, who thought he was gods gift to football.
And us, well what can we say, bit dissapointing that we let the led slip three times, can't really put my finger on why.
I thought Dave and John did really well when they came on, I think they commanded the midfiled better than me and Adam did, but that comes down to experience.
All in all we didn't really make it easy for ourselves, we should have done it in the full 90, but nevermind, we got through and now hopeully we get home draw, so we don't have to go a million miles away.
Friday, October 24, 2003
some more jokes...
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!" The other says, "Go home dad you’re drunk."
A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.
The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'.
'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?'
The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
What's the connection between fat women and mopeds?
They're both great rides. UNTIL YOUR MATES SEE YOU ON ONE.
Hear about the homosexual Cowboy.
He rode into town and shot-up the Sheriff.
Two boys are playing in the park when one of the boys is attacked by a rottweiler.
The second boy grabs hold of a piece of wooden fencing and thrusts it under the dogs collar, then twists the fencing round snapping the dogs neck and saving his friends life.
A passing reporter happens to see what happened, rushes over and takes out his notepad, asks the boy his name and starts to write, “Manchester City Fan saves friend from vicious animal.”
“I’m not a city fan”, said the boy. So the reporter changes it to “Manchester United Fan saves friend from vicious animal”. “I’m not a united fan either”, said the boy.
“Well who do you support” said the reporter. “Liverpool” said the boy. So the reporter starts again. “Scouse Bastard kills family pet”.
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!" The other says, "Go home dad you’re drunk."
A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.
The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'.
'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?'
The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
What's the connection between fat women and mopeds?
They're both great rides. UNTIL YOUR MATES SEE YOU ON ONE.
Hear about the homosexual Cowboy.
He rode into town and shot-up the Sheriff.
Two boys are playing in the park when one of the boys is attacked by a rottweiler.
The second boy grabs hold of a piece of wooden fencing and thrusts it under the dogs collar, then twists the fencing round snapping the dogs neck and saving his friends life.
A passing reporter happens to see what happened, rushes over and takes out his notepad, asks the boy his name and starts to write, “Manchester City Fan saves friend from vicious animal.”
“I’m not a city fan”, said the boy. So the reporter changes it to “Manchester United Fan saves friend from vicious animal”. “I’m not a united fan either”, said the boy.
“Well who do you support” said the reporter. “Liverpool” said the boy. So the reporter starts again. “Scouse Bastard kills family pet”.
Some friday funnies for you.... sorry Dave!!!!!
At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed, obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him.
After 3 or 4 beers, the gay fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear and asks "Do you want a blow job?".
At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened.
Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just what did he say to you?" I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."
A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job".
The man behind the counter replied "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, uniform provided. Because of the long hours of this job meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The salary package is £200,000 a year".
"You're bullsh*tting me!" The scouser said
"Well you f***** started it!" replied the man behind the counter.
Q. If you see a Scouser on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Merseyside?
A: Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin there
Q: What's the difference between a Scouser and a coconut?
A: One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut
At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed, obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him.
After 3 or 4 beers, the gay fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear and asks "Do you want a blow job?".
At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened.
Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just what did he say to you?" I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."
A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job".
The man behind the counter replied "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, uniform provided. Because of the long hours of this job meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The salary package is £200,000 a year".
"You're bullsh*tting me!" The scouser said
"Well you f***** started it!" replied the man behind the counter.
Q. If you see a Scouser on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Merseyside?
A: Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin there
Q: What's the difference between a Scouser and a coconut?
A: One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut
Hello!
Right Radio 1 have revised their request and asked how many bookings we've had this season, so I said 1. I could only remember Crabbeman's last Sunday, seem to remember John L picking one up but wasn't sure, and Neil got sinbinned and Dave sent off in a friendly so that doesn't count.
Looks like it's all going to be done on results this week boys, so we need to pull out a bit of a blinder. The bookings etc come into play if there's a tie.
Browny, yes I have an idea of the team thanks. That said, everyone else knows it so here it is:-
Smurf
Beany
Dave F
Hilly
Paul
Matt
Adam
Browny
Rob
Dave L
Shane
subs: John S, Dave C, Neil, Tony
Not a bad little squad eh?
Right Radio 1 have revised their request and asked how many bookings we've had this season, so I said 1. I could only remember Crabbeman's last Sunday, seem to remember John L picking one up but wasn't sure, and Neil got sinbinned and Dave sent off in a friendly so that doesn't count.
Looks like it's all going to be done on results this week boys, so we need to pull out a bit of a blinder. The bookings etc come into play if there's a tie.
Browny, yes I have an idea of the team thanks. That said, everyone else knows it so here it is:-
Smurf
Beany
Dave F
Hilly
Paul
Matt
Adam
Browny
Rob
Dave L
Shane
subs: John S, Dave C, Neil, Tony
Not a bad little squad eh?
alright all, Sorry I missed training last night had a job called in which was a biggy, so had to resource for it.
Whats all this about Dave being gay, i hope that's not true as I ive with him and as yet havent seen him bring any blokes hom yet.
Looking forward to the game, any ideas what the team is gona be Shane?
Whats all this about Dave being gay, i hope that's not true as I ive with him and as yet havent seen him bring any blokes hom yet.
Looking forward to the game, any ideas what the team is gona be Shane?
Weird, cos while we were chatting after training Steve T said he'd like to take Crabbeman one chunk at a time.
Game on for Sunday boys, got the call last night. So 9am at Vicky Park for the trip up North...
Can you believe the ditsies at Radio 1 have asked me to let them know how many fouls we've committed so far this season? Hold on, I'll just check my notes from each game. 10:41am Crabbeman late challenge (from 10:38am). 10:45am Crabbeman reckless lunge. 10:57am Crabbeman pushing. 11:45am Steve T studs up from behind...
Game on for Sunday boys, got the call last night. So 9am at Vicky Park for the trip up North...
Can you believe the ditsies at Radio 1 have asked me to let them know how many fouls we've committed so far this season? Hold on, I'll just check my notes from each game. 10:41am Crabbeman late challenge (from 10:38am). 10:45am Crabbeman reckless lunge. 10:57am Crabbeman pushing. 11:45am Steve T studs up from behind...
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Just thought I had to pop onto the blogger and share some important news with you...
In the car on the way home, The Shrew asked the question, 'If you were a chocolate bar, which Chocolate bar would you be?'
To which Crabbeman replied...
'I'd be a Yorkie, (and in a very sleazy voice...), For men only'
So there you have it. Your captain is gay...
In the car on the way home, The Shrew asked the question, 'If you were a chocolate bar, which Chocolate bar would you be?'
To which Crabbeman replied...
'I'd be a Yorkie, (and in a very sleazy voice...), For men only'
So there you have it. Your captain is gay...
Yep, did you think I was joking? With the squad we've got, and particularly with it being such a fucking distance away, I don't really want anyone turning up expecting to play and not playing. If you know you're not playing and still want to turn up then that's fine, but I don't want people going all that way, getting up early, then standing around and then going all the way home again without playing.
So the first thing to do was to offer anyone who fancied a week off a week off - like I explained before, anyone accepting this isn't subject to the same rules as if you have a holiday or something, so John is highly likely (considering the form he's been showing) to get straight back in the side for the Cold Ash game. At the moment I'm still left with 4 subs, meaning one person will not play. I'll see tonight whether people would rather all turn up and risk being the 4th sub (can depend on how the game's going) or whether someone fancies a rest/lie in/etc. After that I'll ask if people would rather know who the 4 subs are going to be, so they can then make up their minds with that knowledge. After that there'll be a quick 4 minute rifle shooting test, a 3 hour written exam and a cake-baking contest to decide who's in the starting line up. That's how far we've come.
So the first thing to do was to offer anyone who fancied a week off a week off - like I explained before, anyone accepting this isn't subject to the same rules as if you have a holiday or something, so John is highly likely (considering the form he's been showing) to get straight back in the side for the Cold Ash game. At the moment I'm still left with 4 subs, meaning one person will not play. I'll see tonight whether people would rather all turn up and risk being the 4th sub (can depend on how the game's going) or whether someone fancies a rest/lie in/etc. After that I'll ask if people would rather know who the 4 subs are going to be, so they can then make up their minds with that knowledge. After that there'll be a quick 4 minute rifle shooting test, a 3 hour written exam and a cake-baking contest to decide who's in the starting line up. That's how far we've come.
I meant I bet he says another word. Every disastrous result needs a fall guy mate, my job as manager is to make sure it isn't me. In truth, it was God who did that to us on Sunday, but the same God who allowed Paul to do that overhead kick against the very same team a few seasons ago, so you can't hate him. So we don't, we hate you. Take one for the big guy (as Smurf said to Steve T last year in Blackpool).
I bet I do!!
Our best result this season was against The British Legion in the cup, 6-1 I think it was. We played quite well.
I can't get out of the fact I came on at 1-1 and we lost 7-2!! Even worst, I don't even think I was on for as long as 35 minutes!! But I created a couple of chances, and wouldn't say I was at fault for any of the goals. Pure coincidence.
Our best result this season was against The British Legion in the cup, 6-1 I think it was. We played quite well.
I can't get out of the fact I came on at 1-1 and we lost 7-2!! Even worst, I don't even think I was on for as long as 35 minutes!! But I created a couple of chances, and wouldn't say I was at fault for any of the goals. Pure coincidence.
Minutes on the pitch (within reason - I don't actually time it, just put down either a quarter, half, three quarters or full match depending on when you've been on/off). For man of the match, Dave L is top, with Neil a close second in overall score, but Dave Frew and Rob are 1st and 2nd in the points per game list.
Anyone know they're not available for Sunday? What about you sick boys? I've given John Lamb the week off, but I still have 4 subs if everyone else is available to play, so there's space for 1 person to have a weekend off if they fancy it... Don't all jump in though cos I want to have 3 subs with us.
Yeah but I'm top goal scorer in the league!! Hopefully that won't last much longer, when Dave and Neil start moving us up the league table. In three weeks time when we actually have another league game!
Yeah I think the truth, even thou it's already been decided. Maybe make us sound slightly better than our results have shown so far! e.g. won the league last year (never get bored of saying that!), played Cold Ash twice, I came on and was at fault for 6 goals on Sunday!
Yeah I think the truth, even thou it's already been decided. Maybe make us sound slightly better than our results have shown so far! e.g. won the league last year (never get bored of saying that!), played Cold Ash twice, I came on and was at fault for 6 goals on Sunday!
Fair play, general consensus of opinion is to go with the truth, the whole truth and 100% whole wheat. Probably right, I'd hate to say we're really shit hot and them turn round and say "well you have to win 10-0 on Sunday to go through then" or for us to say we suck and they say "we don't want a bunch of shite so fuck off". I think the truth gives us a bit of leeway either way, we may not win this week like we've got used to, but hopefully there's a team worse than us and a team better than us to take either of the above scenarios.
They want to know exactly where and when we're playing though - can't imagine they'd send somebody down to each game...
Matty you are indeed top league scorer, though in all comps Mr Lewis has the best goal to game ratio of 1.4 goals per game. Then Rob has 1.2 and you are on 0.8
Quaint of John and Browny to think anyone really cares what anyone thinks about Arsenal, and whether it matters whether they played the team off the park or not when they lost anyway, again. I'd just like to say I predicted that score spot on, as I did with the Chelsea - Lazio game, though I had Rangers - Scum down as a 0-0, bloody Neville. Though I admit that if Utd hadn't been 1-0 up at the time I think the ref would have given that last minute penalty. 8-1? It's funny's cousin, not funny.
They want to know exactly where and when we're playing though - can't imagine they'd send somebody down to each game...
Matty you are indeed top league scorer, though in all comps Mr Lewis has the best goal to game ratio of 1.4 goals per game. Then Rob has 1.2 and you are on 0.8
Quaint of John and Browny to think anyone really cares what anyone thinks about Arsenal, and whether it matters whether they played the team off the park or not when they lost anyway, again. I'd just like to say I predicted that score spot on, as I did with the Chelsea - Lazio game, though I had Rangers - Scum down as a 0-0, bloody Neville. Though I admit that if Utd hadn't been 1-0 up at the time I think the ref would have given that last minute penalty. 8-1? It's funny's cousin, not funny.
You two are arguing over Arsenal... And you both support them?? Who cares how good they were. You lost.
Now... If you want to talk statistics.
I've only just realised!
But I am Sheffords top goal scorer in the league so far this year.... Having only spent about 110 minutes on the pitch. Compared to Neil and Daves 270 minutes on the pitch each. Now some would call me prolific.... But your just gunna call me a tw*t!!
Now... If you want to talk statistics.
I've only just realised!
But I am Sheffords top goal scorer in the league so far this year.... Having only spent about 110 minutes on the pitch. Compared to Neil and Daves 270 minutes on the pitch each. Now some would call me prolific.... But your just gunna call me a tw*t!!
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
What are you on abpout Browny?! Crabbeman told me you had been sprouting rubbish during the game! We werent that bad at all (59% possession, 7 shots on target to their 5, 9 shots off target to their 4, 15 corners, post and the bar hit!). We were unlucky that the first goal fell into his path, and the second goal was a freak. Apart from that we were good, except for Pires. Most of the match was without Vieira and Ljungberg as well, Parlour has only started 3 of our last 18 European matches for gawd sakes! ve a sudden feeling of confidence that we will get through. If we had rolled over like we had been shot by a blackford thunderbullet then things would be different, but we played with a lot of heart. Victories against Kiev and Locomotive and a point away in the San Siro should see us through. Have faith...
As for Radio One, we should definatly tell them the truth, they wont want a team who always wins (us last year) and they wont want a team who always loses (PO Reserves), so a mixed bunch will be good, especially if you explain it that we have been treated unfairly by the league for one, and played the best team twice as well. She'll love it. Slag.
As for Radio One, we should definatly tell them the truth, they wont want a team who always wins (us last year) and they wont want a team who always loses (PO Reserves), so a mixed bunch will be good, especially if you explain it that we have been treated unfairly by the league for one, and played the best team twice as well. She'll love it. Slag.
Thanks for all your rapid replies regarding my stag do.(Dave Lewis only one who bothered). It is a cracking deal party bus is equipped with latest sound system meet in a city centre location it takes you to 4 nightclubs entrance fees included in price,no queing straight in.Spend 1 hour to 1 1/2 hour in each club back on the bus then on to the next one.Accomodation is sorted as well all for the price of 55 quid !!!!! Yes i did say 55 quid.Let me know asap as my mate has payed 400 quid deposit on his card and i need 28 quid deposit off you all.It should be good if your not interested your either a boring twat or dont like me either way get fucked!!!!
thats a tough one mate, We haven't exaclty had that bad results, but I sure all the others will probabaly cheat though, just to make them sound good.
So are they going to talk to you straight away after the game. Should be good though.
I take it Jonny sills when back to work today either that or he is dead?? Brilliant 1 less place in Midfield. (only joking you leg-end)
Suprised no-one mentioned anything about the game, either none of you watched it or just can't be bothered to talk about, because we were that bad.
Looking forward to the game tonight, come on Rangers, ill love it if they beat them, love it.
So are they going to talk to you straight away after the game. Should be good though.
I take it Jonny sills when back to work today either that or he is dead?? Brilliant 1 less place in Midfield. (only joking you leg-end)
Suprised no-one mentioned anything about the game, either none of you watched it or just can't be bothered to talk about, because we were that bad.
Looking forward to the game tonight, come on Rangers, ill love it if they beat them, love it.
EMAIL FROM RADIO 1:
Hello!
Well done - you probably know you're all through to the next round. We don't need you to do anything complicated in the week you'll be glad to know - it's all going to be dependant on your scores this weekend.
Can you email us with who, when and where you'll be playing this weekend with the exact time of kick off.
Also can you all send us an update of your scores etc this season?
We'll give you all a ring tomorrow or Friday and speak to you about it then
Cheers
Catherine x
TOUGH ONE - DO I LIE OR TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT OUR RESULTS SO FAR? WE'VE HAD A MIXED BUNCH, SO HOPEFULLY THAT MEANS WE WOULDN'T COME LAST EITHER WAY... OR I COULD MAKE US SOUND BETTER, OR I COULD MAKE US SOUND WORSE THAN WE ACTUALLY ARE. SUGGESTIONS WELCOME...
Hello!
Well done - you probably know you're all through to the next round. We don't need you to do anything complicated in the week you'll be glad to know - it's all going to be dependant on your scores this weekend.
Can you email us with who, when and where you'll be playing this weekend with the exact time of kick off.
Also can you all send us an update of your scores etc this season?
We'll give you all a ring tomorrow or Friday and speak to you about it then
Cheers
Catherine x
TOUGH ONE - DO I LIE OR TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT OUR RESULTS SO FAR? WE'VE HAD A MIXED BUNCH, SO HOPEFULLY THAT MEANS WE WOULDN'T COME LAST EITHER WAY... OR I COULD MAKE US SOUND BETTER, OR I COULD MAKE US SOUND WORSE THAN WE ACTUALLY ARE. SUGGESTIONS WELCOME...
Oh, that's pushed me over the edge. You wanna watch it, I'm from Shefford, we've got a great history of damaging people beyond repair with bullets you know. We've got people in the village with bigger moustaches than Wild. Although i think he's actually moved away from the village now. Yeah he has, he's definitely not there anymore. God I'm lonely.
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Sorry John, but Jim Wild is Blackford's hitman. Oi'll shoot yoo yoo baaastard yooll never ear me cummin neiver cos oi hoids behoind moi moustaaaache and lobs pickled onions at yer ed. Allegedly.
Ah well, we'll see. Up to us to do what we can. We lost more games than this last season, just not in a row, but then last season PO Reserves would have been saying similar stuff about us cos they had to play us twice in the league and in two cups as well.
Anyone see the new Britney Spears waxwork at Tussauds? They have built her with a realistic 'heaving bussom' which rises and falls as she breathes.
Ah well, we'll see. Up to us to do what we can. We lost more games than this last season, just not in a row, but then last season PO Reserves would have been saying similar stuff about us cos they had to play us twice in the league and in two cups as well.
Anyone see the new Britney Spears waxwork at Tussauds? They have built her with a realistic 'heaving bussom' which rises and falls as she breathes.
One definate way of getting Nemone on side and making Jim wild look like a twat, mention it on air this week...!
Thats a proper fu**ing arse isnt it? Sod it, lets just go and start beating teams and showing evryone what we are made of. I'll give that Blackford a call, he could have Jim Wilde killed you know...
Thats a proper fu**ing arse isnt it? Sod it, lets just go and start beating teams and showing evryone what we are made of. I'll give that Blackford a call, he could have Jim Wilde killed you know...
Yooov been foined twenty poinds and yodafone (as oi calls em) get aaaallllll three points cos oi'm a cider drinking gypsy so oi am.
Oi'm, sorry, I'm appealing to the Berks and Bucks FA about it, I think we've got a good chance of getting it overturned - but Vodafone are a good side, so at the moment we've lost the points but have no negative goal difference from the game...
Fucking league really know how to make clubs enjoy playing amateur football don't they? I'm going to appeal to the Berks & Bucks about this and then write a separate letter after complaining about Jim Wild in particular, just cos I can write and he can't. Might use long words and all.
Oi'm, sorry, I'm appealing to the Berks and Bucks FA about it, I think we've got a good chance of getting it overturned - but Vodafone are a good side, so at the moment we've lost the points but have no negative goal difference from the game...
Fucking league really know how to make clubs enjoy playing amateur football don't they? I'm going to appeal to the Berks & Bucks about this and then write a separate letter after complaining about Jim Wild in particular, just cos I can write and he can't. Might use long words and all.
Well, Nottingham is about an hour's drive away from there, so we could go to Nottingham on the Friday night and then do Alton Towers on the Saturday day, then either back to Nottingham or somewhere else on the Saturday night, then back for a game on the Sunday morning cos the league are such a bunch of fucking knobheads that they don't know their arses from their elbows and they cancel games and then go all quiet and hide behind their decision cos they're all led by one big knobhead who can't even read or write but has the biggest fucking moustach of the lot of them so that gives him all-consuming power cos of their weedy little moustaches that don't even poke out beyond the edge of their lips cos they've got limp lips cos of the fact that they spend their time in meetings pursing them and going "ooh I know" when the big much moustachio one says "Oi fink we shud fine Shefford" even though he calls us fucking Swan FC when he writes to us to say that "Oi'm not gonna do yur pich no more cos you don't love meeee and oi caaan't read the invoices anyhow" the fucking gimp with the big moustache that he thinks is sooooo clever ooo look at me with my moustache I can swing from trees with it and jump up in the air and not come down for an hour cos it's a fucking big parachute moustache cos I caaaan't read.
So what's everyone's thoughts on Nottingham then?
So what's everyone's thoughts on Nottingham then?
You're right boss, we could have played exactly the same and won 5-0 on another day. If Matty hadnt been playing that is. Really want to get the cup games out of the way and start getting a run of lague games (and wins!) under our belts (we could probably fit more in if we used Lewis' belt as opposed to mine)
Yeah, that's why I went for the pole dancing judges email, so we can start to get in with them.
Dave L, go ahead and book it for next week, nice one for finding that, will be very useful.
Matty nobody really blames you. Well, nobody else.
Best have a good performance on Sunday boys because after that I'm not here for the next 3 games and only just back from holiday for the 4th. So not expecting to get a starting place.
Don;t stress about sunday boys, it was a complete anomoly, nobody played badly, in fact for 70 minutes I reckon it was some of the best footy we've played and against a not-half-bad side as well. For 10 minutes we were camped in their half, against the wind, it was brilliant. Sh*t happened, that's all. Hey ho. No news from Radio 1 or Long Wittenham yet...
Dave L, go ahead and book it for next week, nice one for finding that, will be very useful.
Matty nobody really blames you. Well, nobody else.
Best have a good performance on Sunday boys because after that I'm not here for the next 3 games and only just back from holiday for the 4th. So not expecting to get a starting place.
Don;t stress about sunday boys, it was a complete anomoly, nobody played badly, in fact for 70 minutes I reckon it was some of the best footy we've played and against a not-half-bad side as well. For 10 minutes we were camped in their half, against the wind, it was brilliant. Sh*t happened, that's all. Hey ho. No news from Radio 1 or Long Wittenham yet...
I didn't really think anyone was blaming me! Well I hope not anyway!
Alton Towers was quality Chris, no queues for anything. Hotel was good. The water park is aimed a kids, but we had loads of fun!! Worth going.
Nemone just seemed to be friendly with one of the other teams, she was saying they took out her 'drinking hat' and returned it safely?! We're soon knock them out thou.
Alton Towers was quality Chris, no queues for anything. Hotel was good. The water park is aimed a kids, but we had loads of fun!! Worth going.
Nemone just seemed to be friendly with one of the other teams, she was saying they took out her 'drinking hat' and returned it safely?! We're soon knock them out thou.
Yes: "Mr Sills, you were found cowering behind a bin after the murder shouting 'I just want my mummy', did you see anything that could possibly help us in this case?"
We're not blaming you Matt, far from it. You actually scored a goal to remind us that we were actually playing bloody well for most of the game. And you nutmegged their supposed best player twice in the space of a minute.
(and it was 1-1 when I brought you on)
Browny - Poll Dancing is a completely different style of entertainment, that's where top politicians morris dance outside by-elections in rural areas in an attempt to bias the voting populous. You can go judge that if you like, I'm watching Nemone get her kit off.
We had a chat on Sunday Matty, she was going through the photo asking who was who and stuff, I think if we can start to get her involved with the characters in the team then that's what she's looking for. I'll find out what's needed this week, heard nothing yet...
We're not blaming you Matt, far from it. You actually scored a goal to remind us that we were actually playing bloody well for most of the game. And you nutmegged their supposed best player twice in the space of a minute.
(and it was 1-1 when I brought you on)
Browny - Poll Dancing is a completely different style of entertainment, that's where top politicians morris dance outside by-elections in rural areas in an attempt to bias the voting populous. You can go judge that if you like, I'm watching Nemone get her kit off.
We had a chat on Sunday Matty, she was going through the photo asking who was who and stuff, I think if we can start to get her involved with the characters in the team then that's what she's looking for. I'll find out what's needed this week, heard nothing yet...
Shane i have found a place where we can train indoors...park house school the sports hall is available from 8.30 to 9.30 very thursday but we could probally stay later or untill the cartaker wants to lock up.... it will cost £20 but it should cost £35... so about £2 each but i think it is worth it... nice and warm and light!! what do you think???
Bloody ex-students.... Just spent my morning in court, dealing with lazy punks like you!!
I just thought I'd let you know what I thought of all the people blaming me for the 5 goals we conceded after I came on!! When I came on I promise I had all the intention of changing the game in favor!!
Radio 1 - Do they sound as if they like us Shane? They seem to be pretty friendly with one of the other teams from what she was saying on Sunday?
I just thought I'd let you know what I thought of all the people blaming me for the 5 goals we conceded after I came on!! When I came on I promise I had all the intention of changing the game in favor!!
Radio 1 - Do they sound as if they like us Shane? They seem to be pretty friendly with one of the other teams from what she was saying on Sunday?
What was all that about Atkins? Are you just destressing - letting off steam after you took so long over scoring your goal on Sunday that it used up all the time we had left to score the other 5 we needed to get a point? Selfish fooker.
Nothing from Radio 1 yet, however I have pulled off a bit of a masterstroke. Then after I cleaned up I had a really good idea - on Nemone's website she says that the girlies have booked up pole-dancing lessons as part of a 'get fit' (?) campaign and training for her athletics challenge. So I've emailed her saying that Shefford FC are willing to participate as a panel of expert judges to judge who's best after they've finished their lessons...
Haven't heard anything back yet.
And on that theme, here is a genuine news article which I think we should consider carefully before consulting Shefford FC's lawyer (Megan) and approaching that paintball company...
LONDON, Oct. 20 (UPI) -- A London company has gone to the government to
complain about the size and age of a stripper they booked for a party, the
London Sun said Monday.
The problem began when B and G Cleaning Systems decided to surprise service
manager Steve Pantony with an office "strip-o-gram" for his 40th birthday.
After searching the Internet, they settled on the Beechline agency and
requested a "slim attractive girl" to appear and strip at a phony business
meeting for $150.
Instead, a 250-pound middle-aged woman named Toni appeared dressed as a
policewoman. She ended her 20 minute show by baring her breasts and spanking
Pantony.
"It's put me off women for life. I've been getting flashbacks ever since,"
Pantony said.
The group was so incensed they contacted lawyers, who believe they have a case
of "misrepresentation" under the Supply of Goods and Services Act of 1982.
Nothing from Radio 1 yet, however I have pulled off a bit of a masterstroke. Then after I cleaned up I had a really good idea - on Nemone's website she says that the girlies have booked up pole-dancing lessons as part of a 'get fit' (?) campaign and training for her athletics challenge. So I've emailed her saying that Shefford FC are willing to participate as a panel of expert judges to judge who's best after they've finished their lessons...
Haven't heard anything back yet.
And on that theme, here is a genuine news article which I think we should consider carefully before consulting Shefford FC's lawyer (Megan) and approaching that paintball company...
LONDON, Oct. 20 (UPI) -- A London company has gone to the government to
complain about the size and age of a stripper they booked for a party, the
London Sun said Monday.
The problem began when B and G Cleaning Systems decided to surprise service
manager Steve Pantony with an office "strip-o-gram" for his 40th birthday.
After searching the Internet, they settled on the Beechline agency and
requested a "slim attractive girl" to appear and strip at a phony business
meeting for $150.
Instead, a 250-pound middle-aged woman named Toni appeared dressed as a
policewoman. She ended her 20 minute show by baring her breasts and spanking
Pantony.
"It's put me off women for life. I've been getting flashbacks ever since,"
Pantony said.
The group was so incensed they contacted lawyers, who believe they have a case
of "misrepresentation" under the Supply of Goods and Services Act of 1982.
Monday, October 20, 2003
Surely Browny should be out of the squad if football is heterosexuality's last stand. We are letting the enemy inflitrate us...
While I remember, having a big lads night out in Reading on friday night, Ice Bar, Revolution, Bar Med, Bar Risa etc. so if anyone fancies it, come on down. Also, my best mate from essex is coming down for the weekend, two essex boys in one place...never enough women...
While I remember, having a big lads night out in Reading on friday night, Ice Bar, Revolution, Bar Med, Bar Risa etc. so if anyone fancies it, come on down. Also, my best mate from essex is coming down for the weekend, two essex boys in one place...never enough women...
Great result yesterday. Not Shefford. Not Radio One. But me and the Shrew humiliating Rob and his mate 8-6 at pool. Cheered me up a bit. All afternoon Cat kept saying 'whats wrong?' and I said 'we lost 7-2!' and she kept saying 'are you sure thats all it is?!?!?!?!?!' ARE YOU SURE THATS ALL IT IS!!!! Bloody Women...
Sod you lot you only sang a song on Radio 1, i actually had one song about me!i agree lets just forget about yesterday i have blamed every goal on Atkins.Keep me informed of any updates Shane regarding the competition final 6 eh? Thats further than we will go in the cup this year and this is a national competition.
I heard it on radio 1, thought we did good lads. I think we gota a great chance. Apparantly we got 35% of the votes, so by a land slide I think.
Bit dissapointing yesterday, just have to shake that one off and look forward to Sundays game. Just a bit dissapointing that we let our heads drop, because I think at times we palyed some really good football and the score line really flattered them which really wasn't the case.
Hopefully we can make a good account of ourselves on sunday and bounce back like we know we can.
Bit dissapointing yesterday, just have to shake that one off and look forward to Sundays game. Just a bit dissapointing that we let our heads drop, because I think at times we palyed some really good football and the score line really flattered them which really wasn't the case.
Hopefully we can make a good account of ourselves on sunday and bounce back like we know we can.
Got through??? We bloody won it! And we won it last week too! I was on the radio mate, chatting with Nemone, did you not hear it? We are media superstars, naked on BBC 1, naked on Radio 1 (though I didn't tell her that until after we came off air) and now in the final 6 teams. Cheered me up no end after whatever the hell happened yesterday morning.
No info as yet as to what's required for this weekend, we'll just have to wait and see.
Now talk to the agent cos the talent aint listening...
No info as yet as to what's required for this weekend, we'll just have to wait and see.
Now talk to the agent cos the talent aint listening...
Friday, October 17, 2003
Proping up the table again atkins!!
Smurfy's had a blinder this last month, this time last month he was bottom. Im coming for you lewis!! You were 80 points clear last month!!
1 Hit and Hope David Lewis 334
2 HELLO MOTO !! Adam Davies 313
3 Lewie's Lady Boys Gareth Lewis 305
4 Smurf's Select Steve Taylor 304
5 Killer Woods Mike Wood 296
6 Bean Houllier's XI Andrew Moore 288
7 The Monkey Boys Paul Green 284
8 LEAH'S LUCKY DIP Leah Barlow 270
9 Top The Lot!!! Stuart Alderton 269
10 Hoof it like PARKY Anthony Ilsley 267
11 Scotland in Europe!Jenny Cairns 250
12 Shed End Blues Jenna 249
13 Rusty Balls Matt Atkins 241
Smurfy's had a blinder this last month, this time last month he was bottom. Im coming for you lewis!! You were 80 points clear last month!!
1 Hit and Hope David Lewis 334
2 HELLO MOTO !! Adam Davies 313
3 Lewie's Lady Boys Gareth Lewis 305
4 Smurf's Select Steve Taylor 304
5 Killer Woods Mike Wood 296
6 Bean Houllier's XI Andrew Moore 288
7 The Monkey Boys Paul Green 284
8 LEAH'S LUCKY DIP Leah Barlow 270
9 Top The Lot!!! Stuart Alderton 269
10 Hoof it like PARKY Anthony Ilsley 267
11 Scotland in Europe!Jenny Cairns 250
12 Shed End Blues Jenna 249
13 Rusty Balls Matt Atkins 241
Gay singers, make it harder, in your bollocks. You can see why it's a good idea that we started asking these questions can't you, so called 'Browny'?
Okay, try this one, if you got a job as a person who packs product into boxes in a factory, and that factory produced fudge, what would your job-title be?
Okay, try this one, if you got a job as a person who packs product into boxes in a factory, and that factory produced fudge, what would your job-title be?
Good job last night lads. Sorry it impacted on training a little, but at least 7 of you will have nice strong biceps and pecs today... I reckon that song's gonna come across really well on the radio - kudos to Matty for suggesting the tune and leaving me just a few tweaks on the lyrics to make it a pretty decent effort - Catherine was laughing her arse off on the other end of the phone, so hopefully we've won a few browny points with the production team.
Gotta listen to it on Sunday. For those that don't know it's a 10pm meet at Stockcross on Sunday. You come out of Newbury as if heading towards the Halfway, but at the roundabout just after you've gone over the bypass you do a right, signposted towards Stockcross and The Vineyards. You come into a 30mph limit, past two pubs and as you head out of the village there's a turning on the right where the footy pitches are. A good performance and we should be looking at a victory, I don't think Partick's defence is that hot.
Gotta listen to it on Sunday. For those that don't know it's a 10pm meet at Stockcross on Sunday. You come out of Newbury as if heading towards the Halfway, but at the roundabout just after you've gone over the bypass you do a right, signposted towards Stockcross and The Vineyards. You come into a 30mph limit, past two pubs and as you head out of the village there's a turning on the right where the footy pitches are. A good performance and we should be looking at a victory, I don't think Partick's defence is that hot.
Thursday, October 16, 2003
Yeah - see where your coming from. But, what makes you think we're gunna sound any good anyway!!
I can't sing... I'll say your quite good cause your the manager, I doubt either Dave L or C can, Tony, Adam and Brownie can't, John Lamb and Shrew are Northern and closest Jonny Sills has been to singing is sh*gging Kelly Osbourne! I'll reserve all judgment of Paul for now as he seems to have a Karaoke machine, that means he's practiced!! And no-one else comes training! And Steve Tab.... And Rob.... Genghis singing!!
Na only joking, it should sound ok, as long as we all shout at the same time! Where are you planning to do this? In the Henwick car park?
I can't sing... I'll say your quite good cause your the manager, I doubt either Dave L or C can, Tony, Adam and Brownie can't, John Lamb and Shrew are Northern and closest Jonny Sills has been to singing is sh*gging Kelly Osbourne! I'll reserve all judgment of Paul for now as he seems to have a Karaoke machine, that means he's practiced!! And no-one else comes training! And Steve Tab.... And Rob.... Genghis singing!!
Na only joking, it should sound ok, as long as we all shout at the same time! Where are you planning to do this? In the Henwick car park?
Trouble is if we try and be too clever we'll sound like knobs on the radio. I reckon if we do the Molly Malone and then just sing something nice and loud then we'll do fine. Plus I have an idea for the end of it that'll be a laugh and should sound good on the radio, and if that doesn't work we can end with a we hate alpay, although they might not want that.
Is the 'We will be Champs...' Aimed at us winning the title last year? Or us (going) to win this competition??
Could also change those words?
We will be Champions my friend,
We'll keep on fighting till the end,
cos, We will be champions,
cos, We will be champions,
You'll all be losers,
cos, We will be Champions....... On radio 1.... (Or) (On the Nemone show....)
Just a another suggestion in the hat!
Could also change those words?
We will be Champions my friend,
We'll keep on fighting till the end,
cos, We will be champions,
cos, We will be champions,
You'll all be losers,
cos, We will be Champions....... On radio 1.... (Or) (On the Nemone show....)
Just a another suggestion in the hat!
I like the Molly Malone one. How about...
In Shefford's fair city, where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on that totty, Nemone
She got down and dirty
With a keeper called Smurfy
Singing...........Shefford!
And then launch into either We are the champions my friend or something in a similar ilk.
Thoughts?
Matty, I reckon we can use this, so you can stop thinking of other things, you've done enough mate. As for the where for Smurfy's stag night, I have no idea. Last I heard his best man was getting in touch with Jongleurs in Southampton, but they're not keen on single sex groups of more than 15 people, so he was finding out how many people were likely to come.
In Shefford's fair city, where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on that totty, Nemone
She got down and dirty
With a keeper called Smurfy
Singing...........Shefford!
And then launch into either We are the champions my friend or something in a similar ilk.
Thoughts?
Matty, I reckon we can use this, so you can stop thinking of other things, you've done enough mate. As for the where for Smurfy's stag night, I have no idea. Last I heard his best man was getting in touch with Jongleurs in Southampton, but they're not keen on single sex groups of more than 15 people, so he was finding out how many people were likely to come.
SMURF - when is your stag night. Your best man couldn't organise a night out in a town. He's as useful as a paedophile at a retirement home.
Only dates I can do now are Friday 24th and Saturday 25th (night before the Long Wittenham game, god help us). When is he planning it for or are there still no plans?
Only dates I can do now are Friday 24th and Saturday 25th (night before the Long Wittenham game, god help us). When is he planning it for or are there still no plans?
Trouble is getting it from the 8 track to Radio 1. The post won't get there in time apparently, so we'd have to send them something electronically. We're going to try it tonight with a phone anyway cos Catherine at Radio1 has booked the studio at 8pm, then we're going to use Julie's laptop to record some WAVs which I can then email through on Friday am - but could do with that mike tonight in case the laptop mike sucks. Does it have the large or small jack? The laptop has a small jack-port so we'd need an adaptor if it's large. Let me know what it is and whether I need to buy an adaptor at lunch.
Nice one.
Matt - why did you say Tune Button Moon and then go into a song about Molly Malone?
Nice one.
Matt - why did you say Tune Button Moon and then go into a song about Molly Malone?
( tune: Button Moon... )
Molly Malone (Now... Nemone)
In Manchesters's fair city
Where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on that sweety Nemone
She wheels her wheel barra (Needs better words)
Through streets wide and narra
Singing...(claping) du du, du du du, du du du du..... Shefford
RFC Version....
(tune: Button Moon... )
Molly Malone
In Reading's fair city
Where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone
She wheels her wheel barra
Through streets wide and narra
Singing READING
Molly Malone (Now... Nemone)
In Manchesters's fair city
Where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on that sweety Nemone
She wheels her wheel barra (Needs better words)
Through streets wide and narra
Singing...(claping) du du, du du du, du du du du..... Shefford
RFC Version....
(tune: Button Moon... )
Molly Malone
In Reading's fair city
Where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone
She wheels her wheel barra
Through streets wide and narra
Singing READING
I thought whatever we do we could end it with a cheeky "We hate Alpay" chant to win the votes from the masses. Sorry Adam, dunno if you're leaning towards defending him cos of his Villa connection, but if he played for Birmingham would it make his actions any more or less acceptable? Fickle Villa fans. Smurfy you coming tonight or 'resting your thumb'?
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Dave Frew, the shrew...well done on your 'bank' acolade. We have about 18 such awards at HSBC, but we dont boast about them like you as 1. We are used to getting them, and more importantly, 2. We dont care if a federation or council or whatever think we are the best, even though they do, we just care that our customers and the worldwide public think we are. And believe me, they do...
I like the idea of it, certainly the when she saw the Shefford boys she said I'm having that sort of thing. My main problem is that 30 seconds is a long time. This may have legs, worth a bit more thought. I reckon that first verse can go down as one of the WAVs that we send in as well, cos it wouldn't surprise me if they realise that having 7 teams singing for 30 seconds is gonna drag a bit, so they cut the time down, so a few short snappy options is a good idea.
This is pretty terrible... But the best your gunna get out of me!! Hasn't much to do with Shefford or even football thou? Apart from the tune.
(Team singing) Nemone she is magic, she wears a magic hat, and when she saw the Shefford boys she said..............
(spoken by one person (Each time in a sarcastic voice or something)........
'I'll sponsor that'
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooH
Nemone she is magic, she's magic on her decks, with a banjo and a micro...phone,
she'd be better than Liberty X.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooH
(Team) Nemone she is magic,
(One person - spoken) 'she's.... super smashing'.... great',
(Team) But when she saw our Smurf in goal, she said ................
(One person - spoken) 'he could lose some weight'
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooH
(Team) Nemone she is magic, she should DJ every night, but when she heard the Shefford sing, she said...........
(One person - Spoken) What a load of tripe...!
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooH
(Team singing) Nemone she is magic, she wears a magic hat, and when she saw the Shefford boys she said..............
(spoken by one person (Each time in a sarcastic voice or something)........
'I'll sponsor that'
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooH
Nemone she is magic, she's magic on her decks, with a banjo and a micro...phone,
she'd be better than Liberty X.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooH
(Team) Nemone she is magic,
(One person - spoken) 'she's.... super smashing'.... great',
(Team) But when she saw our Smurf in goal, she said ................
(One person - spoken) 'he could lose some weight'
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooH
(Team) Nemone she is magic, she should DJ every night, but when she heard the Shefford sing, she said...........
(One person - Spoken) What a load of tripe...!
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooH
Well the you are my Shefford one might not be too bad, we have to fill up 30 seconds after all. We could start with a...
"ESSS" ("esss")
"AITCH" ("aitch")
"EEEE" ("eee")
"EFFF" ("efff")
"EFFF" ("efff")
"EFFF" ("efff")
"EFFF" ("efff")
"OHH" ("ohh")
"ARR" ("arr")
"DEE" ("dee")
"You are my Shefford..." and end it with a good hard "la la la laaaaaa-la..."
What I've said is that they're gonna phone me between 7 and 7.30 tomorrow night and we'll do one over the phone and then we'll record a few WAVs on a laptop so I can email them to her on Friday, they can then pick the best one.
"ESSS" ("esss")
"AITCH" ("aitch")
"EEEE" ("eee")
"EFFF" ("efff")
"EFFF" ("efff")
"EFFF" ("efff")
"EFFF" ("efff")
"OHH" ("ohh")
"ARR" ("arr")
"DEE" ("dee")
"You are my Shefford..." and end it with a good hard "la la la laaaaaa-la..."
What I've said is that they're gonna phone me between 7 and 7.30 tomorrow night and we'll do one over the phone and then we'll record a few WAVs on a laptop so I can email them to her on Friday, they can then pick the best one.
To the tune of 'We are sailing'...
We are Shefford, we are Shefford,
Super Shefford, from Shefford,
We are Shefford, super Shefford,
We are Shefford, from Shefford,
We drink champagne, we snort cocaine,
We've got ladies, over here,
You've got shit jobs, you shag your dogs,
You don't know it, but you're queer.
We are Shefford, we are Shefford,
Super Shefford, from Shefford,
We are Shefford, super Shefford,
We are Shefford, from Shefford,
We drink champagne, we snort cocaine,
We've got ladies, over here,
You've got shit jobs, you shag your dogs,
You don't know it, but you're queer.
Il let dave know tonight and tell him. Im not available against Cold Ash Shane Im goin to Dublin that weekend for a Piss up with work. Should be a good laugh, don't have to pay a penny bargin.
Looking forward to Sunday, should be a good one, hopefully we can get the result we want.
A new flag would be great for Christmas smurf, means I could give my old one to Matt.
Looking forward to Sunday, should be a good one, hopefully we can get the result we want.
A new flag would be great for Christmas smurf, means I could give my old one to Matt.
Can someone get a message to Nigel for me please?
Thing is, I'd like him to be there on Sunday, but it's possible that he won't actually get a game. I'm gonna start Smurf, but obviously if his thumb goes again then I'd rather have Nigel go in than me. If Smurf's thumb is okay though, it means Nige won't get a game. If he can't make it or doesn't fancy standing around for an hour and a half then that's fine, i understand, and we have me in case Smurf does have to go off, but if he's got nothing better to do and fancies it, then I'd like him there.
Cool.
Cheers.
Thing is, I'd like him to be there on Sunday, but it's possible that he won't actually get a game. I'm gonna start Smurf, but obviously if his thumb goes again then I'd rather have Nigel go in than me. If Smurf's thumb is okay though, it means Nige won't get a game. If he can't make it or doesn't fancy standing around for an hour and a half then that's fine, i understand, and we have me in case Smurf does have to go off, but if he's got nothing better to do and fancies it, then I'd like him there.
Cool.
Cheers.
http://www.multimap.com/map/browse.cgi?client=public&X=450000&Y=190000&gride=&gridn=&scale=200000&coordsys=gb&mapsize=big
If you want to see where Long Wittenham is, copy that link into your browser. If you draw an imaginary line between Abingdon and Wallingford, LW is just under half way along it, closer to Abingdon. Early Sunday morning there then. They play in the 2nd Div of whatever league they're in and win some games, lose some games. Nothing about the league makes it seem any better than ours so lets get stuck into em and have a good day out in Long Wittenham. Bound to be a pub somewhere nearby.
If you want to see where Long Wittenham is, copy that link into your browser. If you draw an imaginary line between Abingdon and Wallingford, LW is just under half way along it, closer to Abingdon. Early Sunday morning there then. They play in the 2nd Div of whatever league they're in and win some games, lose some games. Nothing about the league makes it seem any better than ours so lets get stuck into em and have a good day out in Long Wittenham. Bound to be a pub somewhere nearby.
I forgot you'll be up against your old club this season Smurf. It'd be great if you were playing that day Stevie.
Still no news about Radio 1. I hope we don't have to actually listen to the show this week.
Johnny and Dave - arguments about who the best bank is? Please. We all know it's the Southbank at Northcroft, where the top boys stand. Much better than Weir End or Brook End. And nicely situated opposite the Dave Jones Stand, which is being torn down.
Still no news about Radio 1. I hope we don't have to actually listen to the show this week.
Johnny and Dave - arguments about who the best bank is? Please. We all know it's the Southbank at Northcroft, where the top boys stand. Much better than Weir End or Brook End. And nicely situated opposite the Dave Jones Stand, which is being torn down.
Morning, Yes Smurf Post office first! I have signed on for the Res but Friday night I got a phone call saying I'm needed to play for the first! I have been told that one week I could be playing for the res, and other weeks for the first team. I think that good in a way cos it means I am getting games under my belt, the bad thing it's going to take even longer to settle in because I need time to get used to the players, and learn how they play.
I played with your old mate Ian Mellor de Melvin! he rates you a lot mate.
I played with your old mate Ian Mellor de Melvin! he rates you a lot mate.
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
Shane im 95% confident of lasting the full 90 im gagging for a game need to keep my MOTM percentages high.Ill snap Blackford in half in the cup game for a bit of fun if you like id enjoy it anyway.Matt is that Ritchie your on about who plays for Partick? Good player but a big whinger give him one kick and he wont want to know rest of the game.Hope that bloke with the massive slappable forehead like a tefal man slaps you again.Browny do you want a new flag for xmas?Thought of the day, Steve Tab, Post Office First Team ??????????
With my goal, I played it over the top to Lewis, and because he took so long to shoot I caught up with him, and he fumbled a shot off the keeper into my path. So, erm, there.
Matty, did you take the No. 7 shirt home with you? Thats petty...
Finding Nemo was good...going to see Kill Bill on saturday, much more manly!
Off to play 5 a side with the HSBC lot now. Dont know why I told you that.
Matty, did you take the No. 7 shirt home with you? Thats petty...
Finding Nemo was good...going to see Kill Bill on saturday, much more manly!
Off to play 5 a side with the HSBC lot now. Dont know why I told you that.
Yeah, gotta say I'm struggling with the midfield selection this week. If anyone has anything they want to do this weekend instead of playing, I'm prepared to listen.
Actually on a serious note, if I ever ask if anyone wants a week off and you say yes, that won't count against you in terms of not playing - there's a kind of unwritten rule that if you go on holiday or something then you don't tend to get your place back straight away the week after, but if you're doing me a favour by sitting a game out then that's not the same at all.
Anyone heard from Genghis after he went under the knife. If he comes back with boobs I'm leaving the country.
Actually on a serious note, if I ever ask if anyone wants a week off and you say yes, that won't count against you in terms of not playing - there's a kind of unwritten rule that if you go on holiday or something then you don't tend to get your place back straight away the week after, but if you're doing me a favour by sitting a game out then that's not the same at all.
Anyone heard from Genghis after he went under the knife. If he comes back with boobs I'm leaving the country.
Sillsy scored Matty, and Julie pointed out yesterday that you could argue that Dave Lewis actually passed the ball to him for him to do so. I pointed out back that Dave had just let the ball get away from him. And Browny nearly scored too, so you can see what sort of level we're dealing with. If that had dropped in and Dave had scored his opening chance, we'd have lost 5-4. There.
No idea what next Sunday will be mate, had no email, heard nothing. Smurfy so is your thumb properly better or is it worth seeing if Nigel can come down in case he needs to deputise after you make one save and need to come off?
Chris Blackford told either Paul or Dave Frew that he was going to kill him. He didn't tell him very effectively though so I think he got laughed at for it. He's too small and girly to make threats like that with any kind of credibility. If he'd said he was going to put mascara on him and leave it really lumpy then I'm sure it would have been taken more seriously. Dave Frew had been pushing and kicking him around the pitch for 80 minutes by then so I think he was getting a little frustrated. Bless.
Was Finding Nemo any good John?
Chris Blackford told either Paul or Dave Frew that he was going to kill him. He didn't tell him very effectively though so I think he got laughed at for it. He's too small and girly to make threats like that with any kind of credibility. If he'd said he was going to put mascara on him and leave it really lumpy then I'm sure it would have been taken more seriously. Dave Frew had been pushing and kicking him around the pitch for 80 minutes by then so I think he was getting a little frustrated. Bless.
Was Finding Nemo any good John?
Yes I'm back on Sunday Jonathan, with my number one priority being winning back a place in the first 11.... Any position will do, yours would just be that little bit sweeter! I'd imagine my Sunday morning will start with me chasing your useless shots to prevent them going in the river.... I'd rather chase yours than Lewie's.
Morning Smurf, that's gotta be joke of the day already... You, "running" the line.
Morning Smurf, that's gotta be joke of the day already... You, "running" the line.
Monday, October 13, 2003
So you say this guys name is Blackford? I hope he doesnt have a HSBC account, otherwise the money that he obviously uses to hire hitmen may start to slowly disappear...;-)
Im off to watch Finding Nemo now. Dont tell me Im not hardcore.
It would be good if you could turn up Sunday Matty, we need a bit of help stamping in those foot deep holes at Northcroft before the match. Also, you could throw the water bottles to us when we need a drink. Whilst you are running the line. Or getting the balls from the river. Or eating a cheese sandwich. Or chatting up Julie. Basically not playing. Cheers for the comment about me scoring though, feel a bit guilty now. Not guilty enough to delete what Ive just written though...
Im off to watch Finding Nemo now. Dont tell me Im not hardcore.
It would be good if you could turn up Sunday Matty, we need a bit of help stamping in those foot deep holes at Northcroft before the match. Also, you could throw the water bottles to us when we need a drink. Whilst you are running the line. Or getting the balls from the river. Or eating a cheese sandwich. Or chatting up Julie. Basically not playing. Cheers for the comment about me scoring though, feel a bit guilty now. Not guilty enough to delete what Ive just written though...
You get just as much stick running the line as you do on the pitch, they never stop whining. Every decision that goes against them they winge. I got enough stick on Sunday just for sticking my flag up.
I'd love to get one over on them lot, is our cup match at home or away against them??
Yes steve I do owe you ten pounds, I havent forgotten, he was very lucky the schummy german.
God I hate that guy.
I'd love to get one over on them lot, is our cup match at home or away against them??
Yes steve I do owe you ten pounds, I havent forgotten, he was very lucky the schummy german.
God I hate that guy.
I know who you mean.... But I didn't mean him!! Your on about the bloke with a big slap head, he's the manager now. I forgot about him, I fecking hate him, he punched me in the chest after him and Harry had a ruck, and got sent off. I mean, what sort of idiot punches me in the chest when I've got a nose like this to aim for?
The Blackford wannabe is only about 18/19 years old, hasnt been playing for them for long. Dunno if he's be up front or in midfield??
The Blackford wannabe is only about 18/19 years old, hasnt been playing for them for long. Dunno if he's be up front or in midfield??
I know him, curtain hair cut, he got sent off in the cup match for fighting with Harry (after the ref had already let him off for saving a shot with his hand) (he wasn't the keeper). He's not so good and he's a bit more girly too. But yes he is quite quick, I remember him for that, but if you up-end him he will react so we can get him sent off. Perhaps we'll just tell him that Blackford said he was gonna kill him.
Maybe - as long as they sign an agreement, not to swear, spit, or even come near me and replace all divets to make sure I don't trip over and get hurt.
They have a player thats very similar to Blackford, v.skillful, quick and really mouthy. He an absolute pr*ck, but he's good. He plays 5v5 at Greenham so we've had our fair few runnings with him!
They have a player thats very similar to Blackford, v.skillful, quick and really mouthy. He an absolute pr*ck, but he's good. He plays 5v5 at Greenham so we've had our fair few runnings with him!
I think one thing we've achieved (more for the longer serving players) over the two games v Cold Ash is to remove the perception of them that we'd allowed to develop. We're no longer afraid of them as a dirty team, a mouthy team or a brilliant team. We lost 4-2 and 5-2, those are not bad scorelines considering they're hoping to win this division this season and we only got promoted last season. And if you think of the performances, particularly yesterday, they were a long way away from being all over us. So that shows how far we've come from 2 seasons ago when they beat us 10-0 and everyone would have rather been playing dominoes with their grannies than be out on the pitch. Obviously Matt bottled it this time but if we all look after him I reckon he can be a bit more courageous for the cup match.
I was pretty pleased with yesterday, we gave them a game, more of a game than we gave them last time. They had fewer chances this week and we had more chances of our own, and more of the ball to. When we had the ball we were looking to pass it and make use of the space, and very rarely did we get over-run at the back, I thought all 6 midfielders played excellently, you guys really aren't making my life any easier. Plus Dave Frew, thrown straight in at the deep end and played a blinder, kept Blackford quiet right through the game, even kicked him and pushed him around a bit as well for a bit of a laugh. I've credited Frew with our first goal too, as I reckon he got something on it (the keeper's head). I don't think Nigel was as busy as he was expecting to be, which is excellent really considering the unfamiliar defence he had in front of him, and I think if we play like that again in the cup match we can squeeze some of their goals out and maybe make it a very interesting game indeed.
As for the I'm gonna kill you thing, I thought it was directed at Paul Curtis? If not we should really get in touch and tell him to take Paul instead, as he's had more time to enjoy his life, he's had a pretty good innings, whereas Dave still has it all ahead of him. Plus if he does Paul then we can try and get him off on grounds of a euthanasia 'mercy-killing'.
Well done yesterday for the radio thing and John thank Cat for doing her bit, she did a good job there. I heard Nemone say that "Shefford FC have shot into the lead, they're obviously not playing today..." I thought she must have been watching. She must have been talking about the time when Matt fell over on holiday and some girls found him in the bushes and used his phone to call Dave and Tony to come and find him. Nice one.
Dunno whether we came top or not (think we did) but the bottom team are now out and gone. Just checked the web page and it mentions doing squat thrusts on the radio!?!?!?! If it gets too damn stupid then we'll just pull out, I'm not making an arse out of myself just for some radio show. A wig, a goatee and naked dancing is just about as far as I'm prepared to go.
As for the I'm gonna kill you thing, I thought it was directed at Paul Curtis? If not we should really get in touch and tell him to take Paul instead, as he's had more time to enjoy his life, he's had a pretty good innings, whereas Dave still has it all ahead of him. Plus if he does Paul then we can try and get him off on grounds of a euthanasia 'mercy-killing'.
Well done yesterday for the radio thing and John thank Cat for doing her bit, she did a good job there. I heard Nemone say that "Shefford FC have shot into the lead, they're obviously not playing today..." I thought she must have been watching. She must have been talking about the time when Matt fell over on holiday and some girls found him in the bushes and used his phone to call Dave and Tony to come and find him. Nice one.
Dunno whether we came top or not (think we did) but the bottom team are now out and gone. Just checked the web page and it mentions doing squat thrusts on the radio!?!?!?! If it gets too damn stupid then we'll just pull out, I'm not making an arse out of myself just for some radio show. A wig, a goatee and naked dancing is just about as far as I'm prepared to go.
Morning, How are we all?
Sounds like you all did well on Sunday, but we're just unlucky? I've been hearing rave reviews about the defense, with the Dave making his first appearance and the two old boys playing at left and right back. What was the midfield? Ad on the left, Lamb on the right and Dave and Sills in the middle?? On the score sheet Sillsy - nice one.
Theres not much on the Radio 1 site? But I s'pose it's early into the compo so the further you get the more detail it goe's into. I didn't hear it on the radio, how did it sound? I don't understand how they intend to do keepy ups etc on the radio....?
I apologise for not attending on Sunday - and would like to point out I had a valid excuse, certainly didn't bottle it!!! Doesn't sound like I was needed anyway.
Partick next week, decent side, should be a good game. You can try and re-create the overhead you produced against them last time we played them Paul....
Sounds like you all did well on Sunday, but we're just unlucky? I've been hearing rave reviews about the defense, with the Dave making his first appearance and the two old boys playing at left and right back. What was the midfield? Ad on the left, Lamb on the right and Dave and Sills in the middle?? On the score sheet Sillsy - nice one.
Theres not much on the Radio 1 site? But I s'pose it's early into the compo so the further you get the more detail it goe's into. I didn't hear it on the radio, how did it sound? I don't understand how they intend to do keepy ups etc on the radio....?
I apologise for not attending on Sunday - and would like to point out I had a valid excuse, certainly didn't bottle it!!! Doesn't sound like I was needed anyway.
Partick next week, decent side, should be a good game. You can try and re-create the overhead you produced against them last time we played them Paul....
Morning all,
What was the final score?
I played my first game in Post office colors yesterday! We lost 3-2 to NTS, I was watching the game from the side lines in the first half thinking to myself how many chances do we need to score? All the shot's were going wide, or over the bar, no one could seem to hit the targetl! When I came on for the second half I was expecting to play up front because we needed goals! Instead he plays me centre midfield. Have a word Shane.
The lads didn't go for a drink after the game.
Mr Brown you owe me money, I trust you shall pay up on Thursday?
What was the final score?
I played my first game in Post office colors yesterday! We lost 3-2 to NTS, I was watching the game from the side lines in the first half thinking to myself how many chances do we need to score? All the shot's were going wide, or over the bar, no one could seem to hit the targetl! When I came on for the second half I was expecting to play up front because we needed goals! Instead he plays me centre midfield. Have a word Shane.
The lads didn't go for a drink after the game.
Mr Brown you owe me money, I trust you shall pay up on Thursday?
Hey u lot,
So how did we get on with Radio 1, I saw our picture and voted on the website, many times.
Bit dissapointed about the game on yesterday, I think we could have got a point. Just a bit dishearting that we conceded goals so quickly after we scored, especially from the half way line at 1-1. We had good chances and I think at some points we gave them a bit too much respect. All in all though a good game, thats them out the way in the league. Lets just concentrate on getting one over on them in cup.
Well have a good day you u lot and see you thursday.
So how did we get on with Radio 1, I saw our picture and voted on the website, many times.
Bit dissapointed about the game on yesterday, I think we could have got a point. Just a bit dishearting that we conceded goals so quickly after we scored, especially from the half way line at 1-1. We had good chances and I think at some points we gave them a bit too much respect. All in all though a good game, thats them out the way in the league. Lets just concentrate on getting one over on them in cup.
Well have a good day you u lot and see you thursday.
Sunday, October 12, 2003
Word up, big respect to the Shefford massive...
Not sure what to think about todays game. I thought we played really well, so thats good, but we lost, which is bad. I really thought we were good for a draw, it was the goals straight from the kick offs that killed us. From what youve been saying about other results etc., we should start climbing the table swiftly, as soon as we stop playing Cold Ash. Did you hear that that piss head twat No. 14 told Dave Shrew he was going to get him killed?! To which the Shrew replied, 'Is this Gang Land Newbury or something?!'
Ive emailed everyone I know to tell them to listen to Nemones' show, so hopefully thats a few more votes in the bag.
Paul, dont forget to send me that Icecream girl email thing, Im intrigued...
Matt - Dont blame yourself...
Not sure what to think about todays game. I thought we played really well, so thats good, but we lost, which is bad. I really thought we were good for a draw, it was the goals straight from the kick offs that killed us. From what youve been saying about other results etc., we should start climbing the table swiftly, as soon as we stop playing Cold Ash. Did you hear that that piss head twat No. 14 told Dave Shrew he was going to get him killed?! To which the Shrew replied, 'Is this Gang Land Newbury or something?!'
Ive emailed everyone I know to tell them to listen to Nemones' show, so hopefully thats a few more votes in the bag.
Paul, dont forget to send me that Icecream girl email thing, Im intrigued...
Matt - Dont blame yourself...
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